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brandy 5d
i will no longer allow myself
to lose my soul
in attempts of assisting you in finding
what i've been made to believe is
your sanity
i've spent too many nights
racing through your mental labyrinth
only to turn around and realize
you were never running beside me
the second i stepped foot into your maze
you locked the door behind me
and you had already obtained
you could have ever desired
and more
you watched me sprint suicides in circles
my attempts to mend every crack
in your walls
using only the select parts of me
you craved, relied on, and would accept
you guilted and intoxicated me
every time i tried to say no to you
you exploited me and my entire body
for your entertainment and your pleasure
then boasted and smirked
over all the pain you inflicted on me
with a whole world i once knew
knowing i could never return the same without the reminder of everything
that you did to me
no matter how much you clawed out of me
i was never enough in your eyes
months later,
i still think i may have left a piece
of my being in there
after needing to use
my own bones,
the last piece of myself i clung to in there,
as a ladder
to finally get out of there
and rescue myself
i had to save what i had left for my survival
and if you ever truly loved me
the way you said you did
i hope you can understand
after everything you put me through i still hear your voice in the back of my mind every night telling me
"everything i did was because of you"
Ahmad Attr Mar 13
You walk on the scorching sand
Underneath the naked heat of a blazing star
With burned eyes, parched lips and barren hands
Amongst mirages your bare feet have gone to many places
Finally you approach my oasis
Beneath my shades, I will open up cascades
That will replenish your soul
In my lap your furled body will find peace
Then I will lay my silken hands on your rugged face
My frosty breathe will echo throughout the world
You do always find a way in life you see fit
I’m supposed to relieve you when ask for it
And petulantly I will whisper the three magical words

‘’quit your *******’’
A poem about feeling used and abused
How can you be the devil
and simultaneously my muse?
How can you gamble with life
when there is everything to lose?

How can I enforce boundaries
when you don't play by the rules?
How can we keep loving each other
when it's clear we are fools?
His5Her is a series of poems with different points of view of fictional people.
The Game Is Over.

A vicious cycle
Comes crashing to an end
Twelve years
Was long enough
Twelve years
It's been a long road out of hell

Angry words--I've had enough
Can you hear this? As we come to an end
The truth-
The bitter truth

Can you feel the weight off my heart
You wanted me to sink among your demons, I know how to swim

The light that shone like the sun
The light I finally saw was from the
Burning of our bridges.

A vicious cycle
Came crashing to an end
I can finally breathe
This game is over

Alex Nov 2020
I wish my mom would look at me as a person rather than a prize
In her eyes parenting is a competition

If I choose to spend more time with him she is losing
But she must win, to her, there is no other option

Then the minute she is ahead she loses the ability to even acknowledge me
Because of her, I am lacking in the stability I so often crave
the last two messages you sent
i never even read
i no longer check to see if you've messaged me
since i deleted that thread
i finally had to give up
and see that the relationshit was dead
you made up this false version of me
based off of resentment and thoughts you never said
just know that i'm sorry
i know all of this is still ******* with your head
i feel i did the right thing
i learn to go with my gut now and i've yet to be misled
some days are so easy
while others hurt deeply and i can't shake the dread
a couple times you roped me in
i guess your intentions involved the ego needing to be fed
you're the one who pays in the end
cause i can live with myself and an empty bed
08.15.2020 - 19:36
for: jms

i am still not over it and that's okay
Quiet Justin Oct 2020
Rumors are just rumors.
Unless a lot of people believe in them.
At that point, it might as well be fact.

Even if you've never done anything wrong before.
Even if said rumor seems completely out of character.
It sounds true so it must be.
Surely anonymous person number six isn't a liar.

And yeah this may have ruined your whole life,
but others thing you deserve it so it must be true right?
Those hateful words they used must be hidden with good intentions.
Because it must be true.

Even if it isn't.
If you know, you know.
Beckie Davies Oct 2020
I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I hear the hurt between the verbs
The cruelty layered upon the consonants

All I see is hate created from pain
All I see is toxic anger submerged in *******

I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I was going to bear witness
To your torturous sickness

But my faith is my deliverance and
My God taught me forgiveness.
she forgave her abuser.
Roro Aug 2020
I orchestrate your violent butterflies
Fluttering and morphing into bees with big eyes
"Honey shed your chitin and be mine"
Your guardian angel and savior so divine

The strings of your heart as my violin
My grand concerto hypnotized you to sin
Made me your deity, my boat your place of worship
I welcomed your unholiness aboard my precious ship

Sailed through the clouds and into the stars
Set off on a light-speed expedition to Mars
When we returned to wander the Earth's seas
I found myself a slave to all your pleas

Mistress of this vessel yet so caged and lonely
When did I feed you so much power over me?
She was mine but I didn’t recognize
Tainted and defiled because of my lies

Her body and sails were painted red and blue
To much better suit and satisfy you
Irreverence to your deity, desecration to my shrine
I could only watch while you took all that was mine

A glimpse of land and gardens so close
Sparked a flame of hope in my life of shadows
I sprouted wings and the sun began beaming
Lighting up the rocks where waves were crashing

I raised her sails with one final goal
To free myself and take back my control
With cold confidence, I steadied my helm, directed my bow
Crashed her down like Dawson to Davy in the depths below.
Being worshipped and adored isn't always fun, especially when you feel responsible and in control of a relationship. Despite having that power and control, you're helpless and catering to every need of this obsessed person you now pity and despise. It takes strength and courage to accept when it's time to break it off and let them go. Pick YOU
P.S. Montague Dawson was a maritime painter and Davy references Davy Jones [locker] :)
*Read "shipwreck for the outro/part 2"*
Roro Aug 2020
To the lush daisy gardens, I go
The farthest place from you that I know
My freedom was what I chose
Shortly after, your heart froze
My fault for not giving you a clearer sign
But all my displays to you were benign
So, alone I searched for the beams of my mind
But its collapsed architecture was all I could find
Immense guilt because of a simple truth
The sense of our doomed future I ignored in my youth
But life and love are meant to be lived
Freed my sense to be gone with the wind
My annoyance and displeasure would spew
Every waking second and whenever you'd call
Because long before you ever boarded, I knew
That we wouldn't make it anywhere at all
Essentially a part 2/outro to another poem about a certain relationship experience I had- I guess it's simply the "aftermath".
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