Before she goes to sleep at night
She puts a noose around her neck
To give herself a reason to stop
Tossing and turning and thinking
About the last time she
Was safe in her own skin.

Instead of tucking herself in
Under blanket and quilt
She tucks a knife into her chest
To remind herself of her guilt
And her shame and the pain
She faces at the dawn
Of each new day.

She threw her pillow in the trash
Because comfort wasn't something
She thought belonged in her life.
Now she rests her head
On a loaded Sig .40
And finds solace in the touch
Of cold steel against her cheek.

She always said she couldn't sleep
And now *she can't stop.