the final nail
in our love's coffin …
now devoid of
What I'd thought of,
as brimming love,
'twas but mere illusion!
You made me drink,
through your mystical eyes,
that deathly dark potion
of naïve emotion ...
which tore my soul apart,
freezing its heart
It's very chill. Art is so omnivores can talk and gather belongings to figure out what to accomplish.
There's so many reasons for completely wrong stigmas. Offended by the resin. She's the partridge of the stable. Then you owe a species wine.
Butterin' it up, pourin' it out
Coma seems cool comin' around
This diss dissonance
He's gonna put it on balance
Capable of dealing with women, not psuedo-women
Because he pours out on you guys, because he pours us a drink
Hold him on medicine
Last second... Nurse!
Vanilla candles have no pressure
Your way. Tiny bearded ray.
It's coming from "You're not gonna miss all the energy on top of the building".
High as the moon
I'm gonna smack the heck out of you and I know it's practice
I'm gonna kick... "Jerry! Jerry!"
We are out. We are out. And about.
You're not the swinger, you're vulcan
Vulcan is an infection
He's angry with the thumbprint
When you meet an omen
It's outside the community barbershop
Welcome to the terror spectacle
You know the Ann I don't know
You acknowledge your son every time he does something good to himself
He puts everybody first like Donald Trump
I was the pervert of 9/11
In London, the orchestra speeds over white pass
Yoga instructor in the mirror
Weed out the dig holes
If you blow up, if you piss
I'm the runner, force it
Running around the counter
Burning a hole in your fly zone
The capital of Uranium is Marty Well
A medal, the richter scale
Hard at any side of the house
Coaster calms your nose
The rhythm of your whole undertow
Bloody anthem, ghost of your grandpa
Take a bite out of corny
But seemingly, it's doing it
You hold down, hold on
Your money is all writ
Your capitals so low
Putin a dragon, one of those snitches, punk rock, better an eskimo
Blowing out cheese formula
RIght there, hand me my laser to unraisin
Tanning bear, come here
They're rich on the table
The light has students in the gym
The whole ear is pressed cold against the mirror
Ethan, his sorrow decaying, has that mirrow
Did you have fun? Foam and jelly gorges
You can go over and back
Still don't have the secret formula
It's old on sunday morning. Cooled off. I don't know, who is the daughter, who is not for healthy coincidence. A good samaritan barely on a time constraint. Nobody has time for those loop holes, questions are animals
Wow, you might see the colors of the rainbow
You haven't had a hold on him in a while
He's picks the vultures, one of the asian guys
Communicating with a chump
Feels bad, becoming crazy
Because of nostalgia, the way he wants to be
Your job is to carry the weight of the people as a support system.
A woman is absolutely devastating to her.
You're already in the next room burning English.
You are always late for something
You're a bug
You're a best friend to ogres
Better call Lucy
Hers probably is spicier
Bite it, homeboy
Maybe you're using to see who can push it out
You're always on a river of truth
Chair is blue, my dinner wise
I can feel the table running through
Make a right right here or an element of Frank and Tittle
Meads lower on the floor
All of you are mistaken for demon presents
A magical beam for a name, Birden
She's holding her boyfriend, you brought him there
You're not capable of understanding how to work a transfixer
The air is the medium
That's what they're trying to tell me
Ice in a western movie
Jesus is holding a harp
Remember you tripped on tears before, right?
You're just like anyone.
Hot juice g-nome
I'm right here, woohoo!
Not right now
The peanut butter cutting line
100 dead beetles
You wear the estrogen
You can get it in pill form
I hate pill form
That's where they go away
All the angels on the tennis court
Turning a whole order down
It makes it harder to listen to your throat
Not because of your hair, your shower maps out the whole entire level
The bottom of the plug
It starts, it stops, it starts
Physically you can't break it
You cannibal alimony's hard to admit
Phony band camp, it's real hard to haggle off with the word catapault
I touched the fire, I touched the air
I'm grounded and I don't know how to get home, near the hog water
Okay. Grapefruit tastes good
The goal tender curses
The marker combs everybody
The rat's tail
Omens the heart
Double dose of the special drink
The bottle is empty, YAY!
...Without her noodle
She appears to be in the poison
She's pray sin, praisin'
Color of the victims right
Dark and green out
That was really good
You're a pyramid of wanders
Flies over the hash pig
Going over this already
He's going to call the question
Ready for meeting Susan
You wanna know why?
He's rolling his way
Chemical origins, fire
The whole sickness, burning a hole in your shoes
Water to medicate a defective invitation
Flying in from the sport armadillo
Need for speed, there is karma
Evil is going to fly over your hair
Well, what I wanted to say..
He's an imposter
When you let evil in, he'll go for it
That's what you wanted to say to Johnny
I get it now. You turned too soon to the waves I'm in
You must be happy that you appreciate
There's a serious issue with whole organizations
You're ordering an extra blot of roomy
For after they come, watching you, oblique wise
The ambulance is coming, don't be stupid
Treatment's the last needle in the haystack
The plan is to order fries, actual mango juice, with a whip
Evil is a hologram of digituality
Help me keep the lid on the plate
Your honor serves everybody
Where ever you go in the world, Cincinatti, Buffalo, are you Santa Claus? The real Santa Claus? Maybe? High beam like that. The stinger is awesome.
Three days and you're born without a crash
You're unable to battle on, very classy
You know where wisdom comes from
I feel ashamed
Little shit, it's gonna hurt
Ouch, breaking the bind of the book
Never carrying on the couch
What passage did you open up
Remember when you started refusing to believe
Pleasure and stupidity
They must think you're jealous
Cheating on the test
That's the kind of word you don't say to people and I don't tell on them
When you said that you didn't even come
They're on a swingset
Pass a ball everywhere
Spay the ostrich
There's a calendar on the coat somewhere
You'll find the ointment, the ointment isn't a plant
Orchestra helping you find you way to wind or something
You prefer belonging, after you belong you're already a different person
Angels are permanent, they live in heaven
The word Kevin vegetable
Bright lights may blind me
but it isn’t the light I see
slipped back into time,
it wasn’t the right time for me
Daily pains become mundane
it's the insane reframed
within this window pane
shattered glass that
once reflected my inner mass
scattered on the floor
swept into the past
A different point of view
than you, it isn’t new
it's just a clue to how
the tables turn like pages
even though they’re burnned
like sage is
It was about a mile as a crow flies
through the shoulder high golden grain fields
The ripened seeds rattled in their tawny hulls,
imbuing a rich hued texture,
into the shapeless rhythm
of the summer breeze
Cutoff and ragged blue jeans,
cinnamon sun burnished skin
reminded infrequent onlookers
of a happy child,
carefree as whimsical spotted fawn,
running free as graceful butterfly frolic
gliding with the flow of all things;
an all-encompassing harmony
to simply be alive with a lilting sway,
dancing with the cadence
~ the creek bed grove trees ~
From a distance the Mighty Oak
Standing 3 centuries sentinel
beheld the majestic sky blue sky’s
ever changing contentment,
quietly listening to the entrusted secrets
a forsaken lonely child
The symmetry of its grandeur’s scaffold,
the many splendors of creations' amazing graze,
evolved from the goodness
of the rich river valley soil
where Milk Creek meandered lazily
over the sacred roots of her soul
The farther he ran from heavy handed malign
the smaller he felt the sting of disdain
Fleeing from battered and bound beseech
the fragile naive essence of a broken peace
... soon forgotten in the moment
astir in escalating wildness
born in the impending climb;
up – up into the outstretched arms
an uncommon comfort
like a fist full of mercy in a storm
Earth Mother’s ancient wood
loomed large to mitigate
all the unfamiliar innocence,
he didn’t know yet, he had lost
He sat perched upon
thickly gnarled oak arms
that reached another fallow shoal,
touching where those meandering
melancholy waters, listlessly course
Confessing out loud to the crawdads
chased below his reflection
by harvest trout.
China Pheasant crows, breaking silence,
from his roost in nearby timber stand ―
even then he longed to fly away
from the gravity a nest
he knew was falling down
The big Oak Tree on Milk Creek
still spans like a bridge to another distant shore,
the uncleaved pathway
overgrown by passing time,
untrodden forevermore ...
© harlon rivers
I don't know, how many heartbeats are left in this body. But I can assure you, that my time is quite near. Near to the gates of freedom from this sinful body. I admire, the ticks on the old wall clock. It gradually reminds me of my choking last breaths. The treasure chest in my heart weighs heavy with sorrows. The key resides in my mind, where the memories churn. My eyes stare wide at the pillars and the high ceilings. The energy to raise my hand has drained to the point, where I can't even get up. Blurred vision and twinkling micro lights fly whenever I blink to see, to see what I've missed more. To see that one peace that my soul craved for. To see you, being successful. Sometimes, I hold onto my breath...to get the feelings of death. But then, I am suddenly perched with enormous pain, like a million needles stamped over my chest.
A pin drop silence, then a siren sheering sound bust in my ears. And this, my dear I believe is a tour of hell.
It's just a bad fate, I carry with me, and this will leave me only.
Only, on the day,
I leave this needless body, for good
And all the pain, the sufferings, the sounds shall stop
A pin drop silence
So many people in this parking lot
It's over-crowded and they talk a-lot
I wasn't welcome but oh, I forgot-
But now that I am here tell me
If I am hot or not, yay or nay
Cold or warm, ass or not
Slut or game, cunt or not
Shut or vain, dumb or not
A loser and a shame,
It won't matter to them, if it gets you numb or not-
They won't stop, it won't end, unless your brain begins to rot
I kid you not, once there was a story and now the man's just caught
With all that crap they had to sell he bought it all
All their walls, short and tall, raised and taught-
All their words and all their all, but he couldn't get them though
And now he's just waiting to let them go,
He fell in love but they didn't know, it's all his fault;
he was a boy and now it's his turn to learn and grow, let him find his flow
Find himself in that well where he fell, with no story to tell
screaming this is hell, this is hell, somebody can you make it slow
The world's too fast and I didn't know,
I was the turtle and the rabbit had golden toes,
It was just the habits and now i'm fucked and I can't make it snow
get them hoes, never make it rain, out and stuck, in my high and lows
Painting stains, there must be something better out there, then demon and saints
In here, things are just waiting to explode,
I'm ready to explore, but it's so crowded that i can't control myself,
when i am doubted by myself, because they told me so
But if i don't do this, I won't be a part of their show
And nobody would cross my path in the parking lot.
And I don't want to be lonely, not today, not ever so,
I will listen to them with a smile until I can't no more.
Until I can't no more.
Such a mess
A broken soul
A broken soul
It's all for the show
It's all for show
Don't be restless
Let it go
Let it go
Let it end,
Parking lot's not the place to make friends.
I have listened to your soul while you were yearning in the cold. About anywhere, am not even close to you but for some reason, there awaits a hope. Losen yourself from the invisible chains of evil, let go of the lamen thoughts. Feel the light piercing through your heart and gather the fallen pieces. Eliminate your unworthy memory and come forth from the start. Value your rights not by comparison or fights but lead on a positive path, full of life and compassion. Hate not the truth that unfolds before you like a chapter, face it with gratitude and other's will embrace your character. Don't run after materialistic objects or someones attention. Why slump down with regrets and hurt yourself with rejection. Life is for living and if more, than a righteous giving, to those unfortunate beings around us. We are moving trees with many branches bearing beautiful flowers and leaves. These branches and flowers depict our physical being, appearance, beauty and thoughts. Likewise, as the roots reach down the toughest, rocky soil, this is our inner visible self. This tells how much we have run deep and thought of our lifetime challenges. If our roots hit a stone while growing, that doesn't mean that life is over. The roots, hence our thoughts give us the options to re-route our lives. We are the makers of who we are from inside. The aura accumulates and the actual beauty shines, outside. Let others judge, let them dig their own graves. Just focus on the possibilities, and make them happen. Try the kindness and caring theory, am sure someone, somewhere is hoping for this miracle. This is you, this can be you if only you believe and confined in yourself. Stop thinking that you maybe cursed from birth. Help others, not just humans but every living being on our beautiful tearing apart earth.
Life changes so fast.
Futures become foggy,
Present changes due to your past.
Things become so unclear,
And just when you think the goal is near,
Darkness creeps up and incites fear.
The scary thoughts come up from the rear.
Despite all the pain, rage, and sadness,
I try to never shed a tear.
I stand at the head, and try to steer my life into the shallows,
Not knowing if the ground underneath is hollow,
Or if it'll leave me with a halo.
I think on all my life, and sigh,
Mainly cuz the last time I was truly fine,
Was when my aunt was alive.
From there it was a series of peaks, and valleys,
Mountains and cliffs,
Bottomless bottles, and spliffs.
I'll start from the get-go.
My favorite aunts death taught me to let go.
If shes gone, anyone can bounce,
Once I realized that, the depression pounced.
3rd grade kid,
Always sad as shit,
And never spoke.
Mom And step-pop used to drink so much,
And I didn't have many friends, so fuck,
Who was there for me?
Who really cared for me?
Why would life be fair to me?
A year later I met her.
As pleasant as a nice breeze,
On a hot summer day,
She became my only friend with ease,
Her name is [------].
She thought I was smart, talented and funny,
I thought she was overall stunning,
Both inside and out.
Stayed friends through my whole life,
Despite the pain, hunger,
Angst, strain and struggle.
Later down the line,
I blew everything into rubble.
One airsoft pellet to the eye,
And my life turned to a puddle.
Glaucoma, they called it.
Being half blind for months teaches you shit,
Memorizing my entire house in the dark,
Like living in a pit.
To this day that house remains a dark place,
Never to be lit.
Even now, I sit with the lights on,
Wondering why the night's always so long.
I got off track, and forgot my story.
Highschool hit and all I did was worry,
Watch, learn and observe my peers.
"How many years," I'd wonder.
"How many years do we have on this earth?"
"How many years to get rid of our fears,
Speak up and lend our ears,
Combat our demons and destroy the tears?"
I met this girl,
Beautiful inside, no doubt.
Encouraged me to ask [------] out,
And when it failed,
She was there without delay.
Soon after, it was with her I'd set sail,
Floating off into the sunset.
Got to college and hadn't really had fun yet,
I mean, I used to do 'Thug' shit, but never made my bet.
Started feeling lonely and depressed,
Then the relationship regressed,
I panicked and ended it quick,
Tried again, but didn't see myself fit,
What would YOU do,
When your thoughts lie and play tricks like voodoo?
I made a choice, and who knew?
It was the wrong one.
I lost the one.
Days came with no sun,
Played games, but no fun,
Then _ came, and played dumb.
Pretended to connect with me,
Tried to be direct with me,
Claimed to love BOTH my eyes,
But at them, _ never looked directly.
_ left me for a pipe dream,
Wanna-be rapper with a "Bad Team".
I saw in him a mean fiend,
Who wanted nothing else in life but his big dreams.
Started talking to my boys,
To clear my head,
With a paper and some lead.
Started selling pot, and lost trust for the feds.
My friend stayed with me through it all,
Thick and thin,
Witnessed my rise and fall,
And witnessed the day I lost it all.
I took _ back.
Fell off my track.
The lack of love was filled with abuse.
Started thinking about my life,
Different thoughts invoke strife,
Stress and mayhem entered my life.
I was depressed,
And in distress,
With no view out.
I started thinking,
"Fuck this man, it's time to help you out."
But the day before I dropped _,
I caught a huge blow like a bad boxer.
She's pregnant, and I'm the dad.
I didn't love her,
But I can't be like my dad.
I didn't want her,
But I couldn't be like my dad.
I grew to despise her,
But the baby needed me,
So suck it up, and be sad.
"Nigga this is what you deserve,
Because you never learn.
You ain't never did shit right,
And don't pretend like you did.
That thirst for knowledge,
For the truth of life, and finding yourself in college?
Nigga look at you now,
It's just gonna get worse from here so,
Might as well throw in the towel."
Tried to get back into painting my pictures,
But the little voice in the back,
Would give it's suicidal whispers.
View the world through the filter.
Jot down your poems and keep your head down.
Go to work, come home, and hide away the frown.
Pretend you're a clown,
Joke around and pretend to be down for whatever.
The baby was here,
And I'd give him anything.
The baby was born ,
And became a diamond ring.
The baby became real.
Oh, shit. How do I feel,
Do I look at him and cry,
Or do I bow or kneel?
Does he like how I sound?
What would he do if I didn't stick around?
But it was a beautiful moment.
The Lost met The Found,
The Scared and In Trouble, met The Safe and The Sound,
The black, burning rubble found new life in the clouds.
He became my faith.
The superhero of this story,
I'd fight for this boy,
Whether it be one man, or four thousand.
Months go by and there's a shift in the sand.
A snake in the fam,
Can't believe this shit man,
I mean it's whatever but damn.
_ left, and my freedom began,
But _ was possessive,
Evil, lying, and cheating,
Had cut her off, but _'s still tryna claim me as hers.
My brain felt like it was bleeding.
Got tired of pleading to be left alone.
Got tired of feeling like My house ain't a home.
Got tired of being,
A psychopathic depressed mess,
With anxiety so high it made me think I was less than human.
My thoughts kept boomin',
And the end was loomin',
It had been for months.
Didn't think I'd get better ever,
Not even once,
Then I discovered new sides of a girl I'd known for a while.
And well, long story short,
One of my top three priorities became getting her to smile.
I'd walk every last inch, of every last mile,
Just to talk to her, because she's just like me.
For once in my life, I had someone who understood.
She didn't grow up in the hood,
But dammit, that's good.
I wasn't alone, but I did feel lonely.
Mind needed companionship,
Got so hungry for that, it turned funky.
Now something happens every five minutes,
And I'm tired of the violence raging war,
Going on in my head.
Every emotion seeing red,
Never wanting to leave the bed,
But eventually, there'll be silence.
On that day, I won't be dead.
I've been played.
Never made money,
Even when I was paid.
Thought I'd never be alone,
But now it's dark days,
And I'm stranded in this dark maze,
And in the dark plays,
An upsetting melody.
Demons, they came,
And they won't go away,
I've tried begging and pleading,
I even tried to pray,
But they want to stay.
At the moment,
Life is okay,
I can't complain.
Look at me,
I'm feeling deep pain,
Like deep in my brain,
It's seeped in my veins.
I want it out,
Fuck what you're talking about,
Just let me disappear.
Mom always told me,
"There's nothing to fear.
Right now is just temporary,
Don't worry dear."
But my ending is near.
The ending is clear,
But existing just stares me down into submission.
I'm on a mission to save the Earth,
From spinning too fast,
And ignoring the past,
I'm aiming at the liars,
My ships at full mast.
I go too quickly,
Moving rapidly, then I crash,
And crack the glass.
My mind is ash.
Charred, singed, burned to a crisp,
I know now that my hearts broke,
You've been put on my list,
I don't forgive anymore,
And I'll never forget,
About the problems you gave me,
When I dodged your toxic bullets,
Like a Vietnam Vet.
In my reality, you're the bad guy,
Because you plot against me,
I don't wanna say you're cold hearted,
But your soul is empty.
I put my trust in you,
My life in your hands,
But all you really wanted to do,
Was make the puppet dance.
You fucked it all up,
And made me seem evil,
I'm telling you all, avoid her,
Don't let this be a prequel.
Crocodile tears fell from those eyes,
The ground opened up,
Spit her out,
And filled her with lies.
She took my love and good out,
And filled it with pain,
Now I serve my sentence as 'Damaged Goods'
Until the day I man up,
With a gun to my brain.
I'm not trying to speak badly of her,
But if you see her,
Stay out of her lane.