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JKirin Jan 2021
At the top of a hill in a land far away,
stands a seedling alone; its leaves quietly sway.

It has nowhere to hide from the blistering sun;
there's no shield from the winds that frequently run.
Empty land – there isn't a bush nor a tree nearby.
It grows there all alone, but it is getting by...

On the nights full of rain and frightening lightning,
through a quiver of fear, it would stay there fighting:
"I want one day to grow to a big, mighty tree
with a trunk wide and strong that no wind could bend me!"
Its small roots would absorb murky water from storms
and by morning it smiles as a new leaf bud forms.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, this small seedling gets bigger.
Twig by twig, year by year; to grow large it is eager.

On occasion it would get a visit or two:
cheerful birds from the sky would come down to say Hi,
and a fluffy white rabbit would drop by, out of habit;
friendly ants, butterflies, and at night fireflies—
all would merrily chatter but too soon all would scatter.

With a smile, the seedling would request them to stay
but would always hear back: "I must be on my way!"
One day, curious, it asked: "On your way, where to?"
"To the woods down the hill, full of trees just like you!"
"Full of trees just like me..." no one heard it whisper
rustling leaves, as the air around it got crisper.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, it still grows but looks small.
Twig by twig, year by year; it's alone, after all.

Having grown tall enough, the seedling now sees it—
past the field down the hill—the one place all birds visit:
a majestic forest stretching wide—a green sea!
—with tall pines, mighty oaks, and other grown trees.

What a beautiful sight! It just can't turn away!
Wishes strongly the seedling, to be there one day.
It dreams of gentle sounds running through the lush crowns,
of the comforting shade that the woods surely make.
Stretching branches—now long!—
wishes it to belong...

Leaf by leaf, day by day, cries the seedling...
"Unfair!"
Twig by twig, year by year;
"Why do I grow out here?"

Very lonely, the seedling remains on the hill,
casting shadows dark, broad, keeping leaves very still.
Hoping that through the years, it will stop being sad,
and will once again notice that this place isn't bad.

It is there for a reason not easily seen:
for the birds and rabbits, it's a sheltering tree.
When they stop to say Hi, coming down from the sky,
they are looking for shelter from a summer day's swelter
or a comforting shoulder on the days that are colder.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, now an oak, it's grown tall.
Twig by twig, year by year; it's alright, after all.

On a very nice day, after cold driving rain,
in the grass, not too far, it saw something bizarre—
the sight so peculiar and oddly familiar—
a seedling so tiny it looked almost funny!

But the sun was hot—scorching, to the seedling's misfortune.
And the leaves were trembling, their form too much resembling
of the oak's lonely past. Stretching branches, lush, vast,
it protected the youngling that was, clearly, struggling.
In the comforting shade, it could stay unafraid.
                                              *
At the top of a hill in a land far away,
grow a seedling and oak; their leaves quietly sway.
JKirin Apr 2022
let everything burn,
bring the world to its knees, to ashes..
let everything burn
as i mourn—
let the flames bring light to this darkness
about grief
JKirin Dec 2020
Crushing lightning you strike; aim – to ****.
All the air is charged with your presence.
Flashing eyes in the rain, deathly chill –
You’re a roar in the sky, a menace.
about a lightning god
JKirin Dec 2020
Love you, I.
With your maddening grace
hold me tight
in a thrilling embrace.
Take my heart
(whole my being), please.
Let me drown
in your luscious kiss.
about a frustrating love
JKirin Apr 2023
Lower your voice, I beg, stay away.
Can't you see, I am out of control?
Stop this nonsense. We are friends, you say?
This is something I always have mourned.
I'm so angry with you for your lies.
There's passion in us, open your eyes.
Drop the veil of ignorance and see
how hungry you are for us, for me.
Every time I'm close your breath heightens.
It is maddening, man, it frightens.
Stay away, please, get out of my face.
It's a trap.
I need space.
Don't move, this is as far as you get
Or I snap
and do something we both will regret.
JKirin Sep 2021
Magic beans and fairytale lattes
ease your burdens, supply you with strength.
To survive through yet one of your Mondays,
sip the warmth and release a held breath.
about the magic of coffee
JKirin Oct 2021
Rotten smell.
Stale water.
In this well –
a monster.

Twisted horns,
horrid maw –
a wild beast!
You would know...

You entrapped it in there,
but to leave, don't you dare.

It is stuck
in the dark –
cannot run
nor attack.

The beast calls
from the pit –
you can hear
it weep.

You entrapped it in there...
Its sad cries, you must bear.
about a monster, but which one?
JKirin Sep 2021
My emotions pour out in a torrent
with the sound of this magical night:
as you move in a trance, in the moment,
I embrace you with bright disco lights.

Hear the beats of my heart, of the music;
touch the notes of the dance, of my soul;
lose yourself to the rhythm, amuse me -
on the dance floor, for you, I'm the song.
about a dj, lost in the moment to become a song for the dancers
JKirin Oct 2021
I sit here
in the dark
lost in thoughts,
torn apart.

There is blood
on my hands
of my foes,
of my friends.

As I look at each finger,
I let memories linger.

Only blood
know my hands –
of my foes,
of my friends.

I am death,
unworthy
of your love,
your mercy.

Yet, you kiss every finger.
Your kind warmth, your breath linger.

I’m still here
in the dark,
but in you
I see light.
about a soldier who is loved tenderly despite his past
JKirin Mar 2022
My heart sings
as I hold the whole world in my arms.
Gentle waves
flow and murmur in tune around us.
Can’t resist—
every touch sets my body aflame,
and I kiss
hoping that—wishing you feel the same.
about love
JKirin Dec 2020
Can one blame me for hiding?
For this cowardice?
Not because of embarrassment
Nor the prejudice,

But because of the fear of loosing you.
What we have—I hold onto it foolishly.

Longing for your trust (absolute, mutual),
I stay by your side. Like a ritual,
Thought repeats, (hopeless, in a haze):
“I await for you, never and always.”
about loving someone through years of friendship
JKirin Dec 2020
Long ago now (if ever), once upon a dream,
I was saved by a deity – lovely, serene.
Circumstances were dire, I am telling the truth:
I was down under water, caught in vines, couldn’t move.
It reached out to me, then, from the depths underneath,
Pulled me up to the surface; I struggled to breathe.

With a song it has lulled me,
Of my safety assured me.

Years by, haven’t once I remembered the vision.
Not until our sudden (or fated?) collision.
When I look in your eyes of warm hazel, I hear
Softest voice from the memory – ethereal, dear.
Are you possibly someone I’ve once only seen,
Long ago now (if ever), once upon a dream?
about that deja vu moment
JKirin Feb 2021
One must know drizzles and days of gloom
to see the beauty—a rose in bloom.
JKirin Dec 2020
A weapon that’s finely honed—
not more than a wire, a knife.
Nowhere on Earth I belonged,
until you invaded my life.

Around me, your arms wrap with comfort;
warmth spreading; hold’s steady, no effort.

Throughout, all’s familiar, safe.
My self (for what I always longed)—
no longer a weapon, a knife—
a man, fully, finally owned.
about a military man finding home in the arms of another
JKirin Sep 2021
Regal,
vile—
the beast aims to ****
but I am frozen in place.
My blood's running still
in its frightening grace,
and I smile—
regal,
vile.
about being mesmerized by a beast
JKirin Feb 2021
Gentle breaths, huffs, escape your sweet kiss-swollen lips.
At the feel of your heartbeat, my own wildly skips.
I am content right here with your head on my chest.
I will hold you close, dear, while you’re taking your rest.
JKirin Dec 2020
Meant to flower and blossom with power,
Seeds are planted with care (here, there).
But we’re lost in the shadows – we’re graceless.
Empty masks are around us – they’re faceless.

What becomes of us (empty and hollow)?

Not a flower with a powerful glow.
‘Cause a seed, as you know, doesn’t grow,
When it’s hidden so deep in the darkness.
Will the light and its warmth ever find us?
JKirin Dec 2020
I am a selfish man.
Here, now, even then,
I take all that you give, all you offer.
From a boy to a man, as I suffer,
You arise and blossom, beside me.
Still, my feelings, desires escape free.

Stop this greed—I don’t know if I can.
I am yours, I am a selfish man.
about loving a man through years of friendship and yearning for more
JKirin Nov 2024
Sing me a melody of sunset hues,

paint me the colours of its symphony.

Kiss me as if you have nothing to lose.

And in return, I’ll gift you all of me.
about love
JKirin Apr 2022
so hollow—
nothing but a shell,
a vessel emptied and left without purpose —
she’s drifting through the days, alone and hopeless.
silence, as she fell
in sorrow
so hollow—
about sadness
JKirin Mar 2022
Some days are harder than they may appear…
When, lost, you spiral down, out of control—
I’ll catch you in my arms, my love, come here.
about support
JKirin Apr 2021
Behind,
the season of snows and sorrows.
Bygone are its long frozen nights.

Spring brings
the promise of brighter morrows
and wonder to everyday sights.

I watch
as beautiful cherries blossom.
With them,
a light in my heart ignites.
watching cherry blossoms and letting go of the worries
JKirin Jul 2021
It hurts, my love.

It hurts, my love; I’m filled with sorrow.

While you are here (close but miles and miles away),

what can I say to change your mind so you’d stay?

Don’t go, my love…

Don’t go, my love, where I can’t follow.

Let’s think together of some other way. Stay.
about not wanting to part with the loved one
JKirin Dec 2020
The moonlight.

It’s silver, it’s calming—it brings me some hope.

Its presence, though distant, is constant.

It lightens the burden of sorrows

until I am lost in these horrors.

What makes me – imposter? a monster?

I shiver; it’s frightening—I plead all to stop,

to rewrite—

the moonlight.
about losing one's self in grief
JKirin Dec 2020
You are real.

My reflection is foreign, it’s haunted –

You are out there (I see you, I want you).

Lover’s caress spills traces of colour,

Making pain in my heart even duller.

Wishing idly (to touch you, to feel you),

I’m stuck here—this moment, my torment.

Help me heal.
JKirin Jan 2021
There is no escape...
A creature of evil—the dark!
You roam through the night well hidden—
ghostlike!
Your strike –
a deathly finesse! Crushed, smitten,
he falls down – your victim, your mark.
There is no escape!
about deathly creatures of the night
JKirin Feb 2022
There’s a blizzard of words in my mind.
It is blowing and raving inside.
I embrace it, as it tears my soul,
spills on a page till a poem’s born.
about writing
JKirin Dec 2021
There's subtle, eerie beauty in letting go,
allowing your creation to fly freely
to meet the audience, live its life just so—
it waited to escape your grasp so keenly.
What others feel about it you can't control.
Your inspiration, the readers will ignore
so to get scared, to react with their own feelings.
It's brought into existence—you played your role.
Don't be afraid, it's strong to break through ceilings.
about writing
JKirin Nov 2021
They've always been here — the signs—
in your every smile, your sighs,
in the long, gentle touches,
on your cheeks rosed with blushes.

What a fool I've been, didn't see,
didn't save you from ruin, from me.
I have failed you. I'm at fault —
you're in anguish; you hurt.

Stay away! I'm unworthy
of your kindness and mercy.
There is something I'm scared of —
I'm too hollow to bear love.

They've always been here — the signs—
in the way the whole world shines.
about believing to not be able to love nor accept it, and not realizing that you already do love
JKirin Jan 2022
Thick smoke and wild fire
my heart only knows.
I’m lost in desire,
consumed by this lust.
I hear no reason,
just the roaring blaze.
Guide me through this maze…
Your sure touch, your groans—
for you, my heart burns.
about passion
JKirin Dec 2020
My gut is in knots;
I feel agitated.
From space jumps? It’s not.
It’s more complicated...

Aboard our starship,
glances we’re stealing.
More than a friendship –
this simple feeling.
about the beginning of love
JKirin Nov 2021
Throw ideas around like fairy dust,
draw a seal from sentences, if you must,
summon demons and gods, see them fighting.
Witcher's magic – the process of writing.
about writing
JKirin Nov 2021
To write is to keenly breathe
the air yet inexistent,
to hear the sounds yet unborn;
The power to swim beneath
the stars of a world distant,
and smell a rose without thorns.
about writing
JKirin Feb 2023
trapped in red – can’t escape this nightmare
not yet dead, but i’m barely aware
echoes burn, of your touch, your embrace
will you mourn as I fade without trace?
about suffering
JKirin Nov 2021
Peace is easily found
under the mango trees:
softly push from the ground,
swing to the gentle breeze,
smell the blooms – every kind,
hear the rustle of leaves...
Heals, the beauty around –
under the mango trees.
about the tranquillity of nature
JKirin Feb 2022
We chase wild dreams at the tip of our pens,
every word every stroke brings us closer.
But at times, our draft—it just doesn’t make sense…
We can’t help but believe us a poser.
Still, the dream, the pen, calls out to our hearts—
and we try, put it back to the paper.
Every word, every stroke is a wonder!
As our instincts kick in – full of hunger,
we’re hunters that chase, hunt down our prey!
We won’t let our doubts win, lead us astray—
we will howl for our pack, our dearest friends.
Dreams are waiting at the tip of our pens.
about writing, about doubts
JKirin Nov 2024
When my mind had stopped being my friend,
I learned to believe my sorrow.
When “the thought” persists, I no longer pretend
that it all will pass by tomorrow.
Truth be told, it’s not going away.
It is what it is, despite what they say.
And it can’t be changed by a pill nor a blade,
nor the empty fads our society made.

I also learned that the days in between
can be precious enough to treasure within
the empty space in my broken heart.
So I made a promise to allow my mind
to be sad on the days it wants to be sad,
just like that, without fighting.
it allowed me to put down the blade,
and things became easier, slightly.

When my mind had stopped being my friend
I didn’t really have to fight it.
Not friends, not enemies, we still coexist.
No trust, no pretence — just, one and another.
It is what it is, it’s not going away,
but we no longer harm each other.
to Liam, because some strangers can feel closer than family
JKirin Apr 2023
When she smiles,
you smile in return.
I get sick,
my insides churn.
Sour jealousy scrapes,
burns my throat.
Don't you know you're mine?
You do not.
So lost in your silly crush, in her,
you forget how close we are,
always were.
You don't know my need
to let go,
to kiss you,
so you know.
JKirin Nov 2021
When your story flows like a river,
words come easy, plot turns deliver –
you're a wizard, a witch of the light!
You're gifted with magic – the power to write!
about inspiration
JKirin Dec 2020
When both winter and night
waltz through lands, it’s a sight;
It’s a magical moment—the nature’s delight.

Silver light from the moon,
as they dance to slow tunes,
Would reflect on the surface of pearl-white dunes.

Snow would sparkle so bright
it would match the starlight;
It would set the dark forest, the whole world, alight.

Gusts of wind from the ground,
whirling, twisting around,
Would swoosh down ice slopes to create a rare sound.

Frosty music would fill
lands with wonder and thrill—
Notes of magic so warm you won’t notice the chill.

It’s a precious, magnificent sight
When white winter twirls, sings with dark night.
JKirin Apr 2021
In the night, I pretend to feel warmth
of your body and hands, big and strong,
wishing not to wake up, not to feel
this cold absence of you (too real).
I escape to the fantasy—
—stop,
loose myself in the ecstasy—
—don't!
Would you think of me less if you knew
that I wish to not see morning dew?
But the sun will come out anyway,
painting all of my dreams with cold grey...
After making another mistake,
I sit here, on our bed, wide awake.
Slender body beside is not yours.
I'm not fooled: It's not love – it's remorse.

Here, I crumble in this morning light,
feeling all the effects of last night.
He'll wake up and pick up all his stuff,
look at me and breathe out: "that's enough."
He will leave; there isn't much I can give
to him now, as your absence I grieve.
One day, maybe, I'll see him for him,
Embrace on purpose — not on a whim.
Would you deem me a cheat if I flee
to his arms and pretend to be free
from this loss, maybe learning to heal?
Would you blame me for wanting to feel
his—another man's—warmth in our bed
that hasn't been warm at all since you left?
about grief and loosing yourself in the arms of another man
JKirin Nov 2021
You cannot stop the waterfall
of sentences and rhyme, at times.
It threatens to consume you all
unless you write the lines, the lines...
about inspiration
JKirin Nov 2024
You deserve only the best in life:
a big house, a dog, kids and a wife.
You deserve what you've always wanted.
I'm different—forever haunted.
Me staying, will only hurt you more.
I will not confess to you, therefore.
As I leave you to a life of bliss,
let me give you this one gentle kiss.
about love
JKirin Apr 2023
You kiss without reservations, always have,
be there friends around, an unfamiliar crowd.

Always bold, you claim what's yours with passion, pride,
drawing a fit of laughter out of your bride.

You care not for daggers piercing through my heart,
or for the way you shatter what's left of hope
I carried through our years of friendship. No, you do not.

As your best friend, the best man, I’ll play the part
but don’t expect me to be here when this marriage falls apart.
She isn't right for you (I am!) You know this to be true, you do.

As soon as you exchange your vows, I'll leave and I won't miss you.
It doesn't matter that everything inside me screams to kiss you.

Ah, who am I kidding? I will be here for your every need.
When everything inside me crumbles, and even when I bleed.
I'm prisoned by my love for you, my dear friend. I can't be freed.
JKirin Apr 2023
You know that it hurts
when your kiss lands on my cheek.
My heart explodes —
with you, I'm a fool; I'm weak.
You know how I wish
to embrace you whole. I seek
your burning passion
not friendship.
It's irrational
and selfish.
I hold myself back
as my heart falls to pieces,
when your touch ceases,
and everything hurts...
Kiss me where it hurts,
kiss my everything,
love my everything,
just as I love yours.
about unrequited love
JKirin Jul 2021
So, it came as no surprise,
that I got caught in your lies.
You played my heart like a toy
then crushed, with sickening joy.
Everybody around knew…
You never loved me, did you?
about being betrayed by a lover
JKirin Nov 2024
You played me like a violin

with sweetest words and promises of sin.

And all I did was sing along, dance

in the gentle prison of your arms.



I gave in to your deceiving tunes,

to the symphony of lies and ruin.

Our song didn’t even last that long—

you left me in the rain all alone.



Doing everything to please you, I

lost the melody that was uniquely mine.

As the raindrops wash me of your touch,

I regret having met you so much.
about betrayal
JKirin Jan 2022
You’re a gift - don’t call yourself weak.
Stars and planets are at your feet!
You can hear the colour of words,
taste the shape of different worlds,
breathe the waters of inspiration
in the process of art creation.
about inspiration and believing in yourself
JKirin Nov 2021
Вкус соли морской на губах,
Прохлада предутреннего бриза.
Две чайки парят в облаках,
Подсвеченных золотом, и близок
Жемчужный рассвет –
Красив его свет.

Прозрачна, спокойна вода,
Цвета перламутрового неба.
К себе приглашает волна,
И нежно её прикосновенье.
Сомнения нет –
Ныряю в ответ.
about the sea
JKirin Nov 2021
Ночь темна. Пусть не видно дороги,
Фонарей недостаточен свет,
Покидают пустые тревоги.
В тишине исчезает их след.

Подлетают к огням мотыльки,
Пронесётся песнь сонных цикад.
На ветру шелестят лепестки
Ста магнолий, пьянит аромат.

Бледный облик луны
Высоко над горой,
Заезды ярко видны,
С моря слышен прибой.
На душе покой.
about a summer night

— The End —