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Jun 2019 · 451
Aseel Jun 2019
I was terrified
When I realized
That I had the urge
To *****
When I saw you
I’v always liked
To see you naked
I’ve always followed
The lines of your waist
The rivers on your thighs
The heaven between them
But today
I just
Felt like
Mar 2019 · 329
No tongue
Aseel Mar 2019
The words I couldn’t say stick their teeth in my lungs.
I want to scream but, I‘ve swallowed my tongue.
Mar 2019 · 203
A question
Aseel Mar 2019
Can someone be your happiness and makes you wanna die at the same time?
Feb 2019 · 202
What is Pain?
Aseel Feb 2019
Pain is your body way to tell you something is wrong
When your heart aches, it’s probably because of the wrong person
Or the wrong word
Or the wrong perception
When your heart aches
It’s not okay
And you either push away what hurts it
Or heal it
And sometimes even leaving everything behind.
Ignoring it, is never a choice.
Feb 2019 · 126
Aseel Feb 2019
You realize how stupid you are
When you look at your heart
An see how you let someone
To cause all of these bruises
In the name of love
Feb 2019 · 241
Messed up ideas 3
Aseel Feb 2019
I have an extreme anxiety
Of doing new things
So I don’t have much things in my life
That are new
same friends
same clothes
same lonely nights
same favorite movies
Wiping away the dust off my dreams looks much easier than 170 heart beat per minute.
Feb 2019 · 180
Aseel Feb 2019
I suddenly realized
I have a very big hole
In my heart
That everyone I know
Fall of
Jan 2019 · 181
A broken heart ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
The problem is that loving someone in the wrong way and not loving him looks the same.
Jan 2019 · 213
Aseel Jan 2019
Anonymity means freedom.
Jan 2019 · 477
The worst goodbye
Aseel Jan 2019
We had a fight
In the airport
Before five minutes of his flight
He hugged me
Like a fabric hugging an ice cube
Both can’t feel anything
Saying goodbye wasn’t hard
Saying goodbye this way is what broke my heart.
Jan 2019 · 312
Bad gift.
Aseel Jan 2019
It was like a kid
Opening the gift
He waited for
For too long
Then found
An empty box
When I
Waited for too long
To be alone with you
Then you fell asleep
In my bed.
No cuddle and no sheets. Meh.
Jan 2019 · 146
Aseel Jan 2019
And believe me little girl: there’s nothing you can do for someone who chose to be sad.
Jan 2019 · 229
Aseel Jan 2019
I would like to punch this headache in the face.
Jan 2019 · 331
Messed up ideas 2
Aseel Jan 2019
The brave hearts live, the cowards stay safe, and I’m stuck in between.
Jan 2019 · 553
Messed up ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
It’s hard to feel the love when you hate being in a relationship.
Jan 2019 · 276
Dark ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
My desire to die is sneaking into my heart again but this time it’s wearing a white dress and a veil.
Jan 2019 · 159
Aseel Jan 2019
I have a hell inside
That’s why my eyes shine so bright.
Jan 2019 · 251
Aseel Jan 2019
My eyes are drowning And my soul is burned
How can I tell my heart to stop hurting for a ****?
Jan 2019 · 380
Aseel Jan 2019
Can’t you stay?
He asked. While I was waving goodbye.
I’m already gone.
I said. While He knows that and crys.
Jan 2019 · 1.4k
A walk
Aseel Jan 2019
I just need to tell someone I want to die, then hold hands and take a walk.
Jan 2019 · 304
Don’t be a slave
Aseel Jan 2019
For those who are the future:
Don’t use your freedom as a red carpet for a popular pop singer, or a president.
Don’t walk on it to get a phone that is smarter than you!
Don’t hate, erase all the lines on the map, unite your nationalities to “ human”, let love spread through the oceans.
Don’t be racist, racism pulls the nations back, and the souls down.
Don’t be a slave for the brand of your shirt, for the kardashians granddaughters lips, or for the green paper.
Don’t be a slave for the nothingness, for what will be gone.
Aseel Jan 2019
You look at the mirror
realize that you changed for someone else
How much you hate it
You start searching for yourself again
You search for the stories you used to hide
For the poems you wrote behind your face
You search for your little secrets hanging on the corner of your lips
For the curses in your eyes
You search for the things you hided untill they were forgotten
And the things you forgot utill they disappeared
unill you disappeared
And the only thing you can see
Is a fake reflection on the mirror.
تنظرُ إلى المرآة
و تعي في لحظة واحدة أنّك تغيّرت لأجل أحدهم
تكرهُ نفسك
تبحثُ عن قصائدك المُخبّأة خلف وجهك
عن الأسرار المُعلّقة عند زاوية فمك
تبحثُ عن الشتائم في عينيك
و الغضب في حنجرتك
عن الأشياء التي خبّأتها إلى أن نسيتها
و نسيتها إلى أن اختفت
إلى أن اختفيت
و لا يبقى منك سوى انعكاس كاذب
على المرآة
Jan 2019 · 295
Aseel Jan 2019
I just want to tell you everything will be ok. And for you to believe me.
Dec 2018 · 583
Aseel Dec 2018
Some woundes can’t be healed with love.
Especially those which were made by the hands of anger.
Dec 2018 · 436
Aseel Dec 2018
I can
Imagine spending my life
Drinking from your mouth
My red wine
Smoking your fingers
Geting high on your breaths
Touching every cell of you
Hearing their stories
With every cell of mine.
I can
Imagine waking up everyday
To your hair on my face
Your cold feet touching mine
Your stomach nagging for bacon
And your lips starving for a kiss
I can
Imagine you as happiness
And sadness
As ups and downs
smiles and tears
As roses and thrones
Heaven and hell
Fire and rain
as the good thing in every one of them
I can
Imagine you as life
As reality.
Dec 2018 · 585
Aseel Dec 2018
I can’t understand moms.
They love you, but really turn your life into hell.
Dec 2018 · 396
Heart vs. brain
Aseel Dec 2018
His head on my lap
But I still have this question
Why is there a gap?
My heart and my brain
Are in two different directions
The heart feels warm
A little bit cozy and safe
The brain is a storm
Wishing he could hide in a cave
Dec 2018 · 354
Aseel Dec 2018
Sometimes, I have this panic attack on being with someone.
It’s never easy for me to let anyone see the chaotic world behind my ribs. It’s really chaotic behind my ribs.
I sometimes think I prefer spending my Friday nights alone on letting anyone to stick his empty head inside my chest.
Dec 2018 · 919
Knock - block
Aseel Dec 2018
Knock knock
Pretty face
Perfect body
******y brain
Dec 2018 · 303
Aseel Dec 2018
What if the house you've always wanted to buy wants to be empty  ?
Dec 2018 · 1.9k
Follow your heart
Aseel Dec 2018
I followed my heart
And now I’m in the bottom.
Dec 2018 · 356
Aseel Dec 2018
Sometimes, it’s very difficult to trust you.
The butterflies in my stomach are alive again
But not because of love
This time
It’s because of incertitude
You changed
The sparkle in your eyes is gone
Your smile is so fake
Your chest is so cold
So I know
It’s not my brain
It’s your attitude
Dec 2018 · 410
Aseel Dec 2018
And I’m just afraid that anger will get stuck in my throat
so I don’t scream
Or cry
Or sing
But lyingly smile
Arabic :
لكنّني أخشى فقط أن أغضب.
أن يتراكم الغضب إلى أن يصل إلى حلقي فلا أصرخ، ولا أبكي، ولا أشكي، و لكن أبتسم ككاذبة.
Dec 2018 · 105
Aseel Dec 2018
أتذوّق العتمة في ضوء الشمس.
I can taste the darkness in the sunshine.
Dec 2018 · 362
Aseel Dec 2018
You allow someone to get inside the hidden room in your soul
Then all you can do is watching him changing the furniture
and painting the walls with the color you hate.
Everyone will try to change it the way they like
Everyone will make you regret letting them in.
Dec 2018 · 115
Hidden = disappeared
Aseel Dec 2018
I started hiding parts of me until they’ve  got mad and left.
Aseel Dec 2018
من عادتي أن أمشي بطيئًا جدًّا في الحب.
يستيقظ قلبي عندما يرقصُ قلب غيري، و يرقصُ قلبي عندما يبدأُ قلبه بالاحتراق، و يحترق قلبي بعدما يكون قلبه قد أنار العتمة كلها بمفرده.
أمشي بطيئًا بالحب، ولا أعرفُ مشيًا غيره، و لذلك كان على من يُمسك بيدي أن يمشي بسرعة عشرين كيلومتر في الساعة رغم أنّ قلبه يركب طائرة نفّاثة.
طعمُ الطيران يُصبحُ باهتًا عندما تكونُ خائفًا.
و هكذا، أصلُ مُتأخرة لكلّ مرحلة، بعد جُهدٍ لا يراه من كان أمامي يُدحرجُ قلبه ككرة القدم بينما أجرُّ خاصتي خلفي جرًّا.
أصلُ بعد أيّام و أسابيع، بعد أن يكونوا قد أكلوا مشاعرهم ليتسلّوا بها خلال الانتظار.
أصلُ إليهم فارغين إلّا من أُغنية ميّتة و وردة حمراء ذابلة، و الكثير من الضجر.
يضحكُ قلبي، يهمسُ لي أن في حالاتٍ كهذه، ألّا تصلَ أبدًا خيرٌ من أن تصل مُتأخرًا.
ثمّ يجرّني خلفه
و أعود.


I’m used to walk very slowly towards love.
My heart yawns when someone’s beats, beats when someone’s is on fire, fires up when someone’s turns into ash.
I walk very slowly towards love and it’s the only way I know.
That’s why whoever trys to hold my hand have to walk 20 kilometers an hour while his heart is on an airplane.
Flying is dull when you’re afraid.
I always arrive late, after putting all my efforts into draging my heart while the one beside me is kicking his like a football.
they wait for me, but when I arraive I find that they ate their feelings because of bordem.
So I have to turn back. And go.
Dec 2018 · 189
Love game
Aseel Dec 2018
Look at me
Look at me
Do I still look the same?
I don’t
I don’t even know my name
I lost it when i started this
The love of you
No one told me it’s just a game
What a shame !
What a shame !
Oct 2017 · 174
Aseel Oct 2017
Your life is so empty it's scary.
Sep 2017 · 777
Aseel Sep 2017
I do understand myself.
I understand every scream, every tear, every war, every dream.
But myself doesn't understand me.
Sep 2017 · 168
Aseel Sep 2017
Depression is a very slow and painful way to die.
Sep 2017 · 406
Aseel Sep 2017
It's ok, it's ok, you can lie
but when I leave
Don't dare to cry
Aug 2017 · 431
Boredom - ضجر
Aseel Aug 2017
فقدتُ اهتمامي بكلّ شيء، يرتديني الضجر، و لا صبر لي لانتظار النهايات، أو الاستماع لأحدهم يتحدثُ عن يومه. أبترُ مقطوعة موسيقية لأبدأ من وسط أُخرى، أكتفي بمشاهدة عشر دقائق من الأفلام، أقرأ صفحةً من كلّ كتابٍ بجانب سريري، و لا أجلسُ في مكان واحد لما يزيد عن دقيقتين.

I no longer care about anything.
boredom covers my body, and I can't even be patient enough to wait for the end, any end, or to hear you talking about your day.
I cut one peace of music to start from the middle of another one. I watch 10 minutes from each movie and read a page from each book on my desk.
I can't stay in one place for more than two minutes.
And I'm bored. I'm bored with people, life, and myself.
Aug 2017 · 191
Aseel Aug 2017
I think about death a lot lately. Again.
I don't need positive crap, or fake hope.
I thought maybe I need someone. But no, someone is not what I need too.
Maybe I should do something, I did.
But still, the worms inside keep moving whatever I do.
I can feel my flesh melting, finding its way between my ribs.
Suddenly a storm of fireworks start to raise my body temperature to the extent I have to take off my own skin.
I do take off my clothes when I feel like taking off my skin. Mom hates that, she doesn't know how it feels to burn alive from the inside so it's ok.
I don't really want to die, but the black hole inside me won't just leave me alone.
Dad says I should look at myself in the mirror and talk to her, encourage her, but all I want is to take her out of the mirror and tear her apart into very little chewy pieces.
Death, it's a weird thing to dream about in my twenties.
Aug 2017 · 177
Aseel Aug 2017
This night is weird.
I can't hear the moon screaming, I can't hear the sound of my neighbor tear drops, or the smile of mother.
It's so quite.
Usually, all the hidden things come to life at night, but This night seems to **** love and pain.

— The End —