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Sep 2019 · 444
I’m a cigarette
Aseel Sep 2019
Yes
I smoke
I burn my soul wrapped in a paper
So you could see that I’m burning

No one believes you’re on fire
Unless he sees the smoke
Sep 2019 · 9.3k
Don’t call me a princess
Aseel Sep 2019
I don’t want to be a princess.
I prefer to be a wall
or a shoulder
that some one can lean on
I don’t want to be spoiled
I want to
fight
Get dirt on my clothes
Clean them
search more
fail more
know more
see everything
Try everything
I want to share the road
With some one
Running not carried
I want to look behind
And see MY footprints.
I want to be free
Sep 2019 · 371
رسالة
Aseel Sep 2019
أفتقدك
حقًّا
جدًّا
كثيرًا
أرغبُ بأن نختفي في زاوية من زوايا المدينة، فقط لتناول القهوة و النظر إلى عينيك
لكنّ مزاجي السيء، السيء جدًّا، سيُفسد كلّ شيء كالعادة
لذا أُبقي رغباتي الليلة هُنا بجانبي، إلى أنا يأتي وقتها المناسب
في الحقيقة هو ليس فقط مزاجي السيء، لكنّ رغبة بإعطائك قسطًا من الراحة منّي تبدو أكثر حقيقة هذه الليلة.
أشتمّ بعض مللك، أسمع أصواتًا في رأسك تدور في رأسي: لمَ أتكبّد عناء هذه الفتاة؟
أشعرُ برغبتك بالتخلّص مني، لكنّها تبدو كمزحة أمام رغبتي بالتخلص منّي.
كم سيكون مُريحًا أن تتمرّد عليّ عيناي و ترفض أن تنفتح مرّة أُخرى !

على أيّة حال، إن كان ولا بدّ لك أن تعلم شيئًا هذه الليلة، فهو بالتأكيد أنّني أفتقدك.
I miss you
Sep 2019 · 278
Invisible knife
Aseel Sep 2019
Silence
Can be sharper than knives sometimes .
Sep 2019 · 990
A story no one understands
Aseel Sep 2019
He loves me
But he’s not in love with me
And it’s breaking my heart
But how can I explain?
You don’t look at me the same anymore
Sep 2019 · 308
Am I alive?
Aseel Sep 2019
I don’t remember
The last time I felt
Surprised
The last time I opened
My eyes so wide
I don’t remember
The last time I tried
Something new
Or I wondered how
Or I wondered who
I don’t remember the last time
I played hide and seek
Counting to five
Or The last time I **** a breath
And Felt alive
I don’t remember who I am.
Sep 2019 · 917
He
Aseel Sep 2019
He
He doesn’t only make love to me
He also makes life.
Sep 2019 · 233
خفيّة
Aseel Sep 2019
كانت مُخيفة، خفيّة إلى الحدّ الذي يجعلها تُلقي النُكت في وسط موجات اكتئابها.
Sep 2019 · 362
She
Aseel Sep 2019
She
She was so scary
So calm
She had the night under her eyes
She was so hidden that she could laugh in the middle of a panic attack
Sep 2019 · 1.2k
Whispers
Aseel Sep 2019
You kiss me
You whisper
I love you

I kiss you
I whisper
Liar
I can taste it in your mouth
Aug 2019 · 281
Full stop
Aseel Aug 2019
Rarely
The question marks in the end of your thoughts
Turn into full stops
Rarely
All the questions are answers
And
It’s finally peaceful inside your head
Rarely
May be hours or minutes
So When rarely comes, Enjoy it.
Rarely I’m sure I love you.
Aug 2019 · 325
A depressive episode
Aseel Aug 2019
For the last couple of days , I’ve been going through one of my many depressive episodes.

Medically, these episodes don’t meet the criteria  to be called “depressive” .
But I call them that because they remind me of the times when I was medically psychologically officially depressed.
Same darkness, same hopelessness.

Yesterday my mood wasn’t low. It was underground. Strong enough to drag me with it and watch me gasping for my breath, and laugh.

But yesterday was different.
for the first time I was depressed, but not lonely.
I had a chest under my head, a hand in my hair, and whispers in my ear: I love you, it’s ok.

Yesterday, for the first time, I wanted to beat my depressive episode.
Jun 2019 · 651
Sparkly devil
Aseel Jun 2019
Every guy I meet
Falls for the sparkle in my eyes
They don’t know that
Behind the sparkle
Is where the devils hide
Jun 2019 · 642
Naked
Aseel Jun 2019
I was terrified
When I realized
That I had the urge
To *****
When I saw you
Naked
I’v always liked
To see you naked
I’ve always followed
The lines of your waist
The rivers on your thighs
The heaven between them
But today
I just
Felt like
No.
Mar 2019 · 436
No tongue
Aseel Mar 2019
The words I couldn’t say stick their teeth in my lungs.
I want to scream but, I‘ve swallowed my tongue.
Mar 2019 · 293
A question
Aseel Mar 2019
Can someone be your happiness and makes you wanna die at the same time?
Feb 2019 · 361
What is Pain?
Aseel Feb 2019
Pain is your body way to tell you something is wrong
When your heart aches, it’s probably because of the wrong person
Or the wrong word
Or the wrong perception
When your heart aches
It’s not okay
And you either push away what hurts it
Or heal it
And sometimes even leaving everything behind.
But
Ignoring it, is never a choice.
Feb 2019 · 216
Bruised
Aseel Feb 2019
You realize how stupid you are
When you look at your heart
An see how you let someone
To cause all of these bruises
In the name of love
Feb 2019 · 326
Messed up ideas 3
Aseel Feb 2019
I have an extreme anxiety
Of doing new things
So I don’t have much things in my life
That are new
same friends
same clothes
same lonely nights
same favorite movies
Wiping away the dust off my dreams looks much easier than 170 heart beat per minute.
Feb 2019 · 292
Hole
Aseel Feb 2019
I suddenly realized
I have a very big hole
In my heart
That everyone I know
Fall of
Jan 2019 · 266
A broken heart ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
The problem is that loving someone in the wrong way and not loving him looks the same.
Jan 2019 · 326
.
Aseel Jan 2019
.
Anonymity means freedom.
Jan 2019 · 582
The worst goodbye
Aseel Jan 2019
We had a fight
In the airport
Before five minutes of his flight
He hugged me
Like a fabric hugging an ice cube
Both can’t feel anything
Saying goodbye wasn’t hard
Saying goodbye this way is what broke my heart.
Jan 2019 · 781
Bad gift.
Aseel Jan 2019
It was like a kid
Opening the gift
He waited for
For too long
Then found
An empty box
When I
Waited for too long
To be alone with you
Then you fell asleep
Alone
In my bed.
No cuddle and no sheets. Meh.
Jan 2019 · 246
Harder?
Aseel Jan 2019
And believe me little girl: there’s nothing you can do for someone who chose to be sad.
Jan 2019 · 322
Headache
Aseel Jan 2019
I would like to punch this headache in the face.
Jan 2019 · 420
Messed up ideas 2
Aseel Jan 2019
The brave hearts live, the cowards stay safe, and I’m stuck in between.
Jan 2019 · 659
Messed up ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
It’s hard to feel the love when you hate being in a relationship.
Jan 2019 · 452
Dark ideas 1
Aseel Jan 2019
My desire to die is sneaking into my heart again but this time it’s wearing a white dress and a veil.
Jan 2019 · 240
Hell
Aseel Jan 2019
I have a hell inside
That’s why my eyes shine so bright.
Jan 2019 · 446
Jerk
Aseel Jan 2019
My eyes are drowning And my soul is burned
How can I tell my heart to stop hurting for a ****?
Jan 2019 · 495
Bye
Aseel Jan 2019
Bye
Can’t you stay?
He asked. While I was waving goodbye.
I’m already gone.
I said. While He knows that and crys.
Jan 2019 · 1.5k
A walk
Aseel Jan 2019
I just need to tell someone I want to die, then hold hands and take a walk.
Jan 2019 · 453
Don’t be a slave
Aseel Jan 2019
For those who are the future:
Don’t use your freedom as a red carpet for a popular pop singer, or a president.
Don’t walk on it to get a phone that is smarter than you!
Don’t hate, erase all the lines on the map, unite your nationalities to “ human”, let love spread through the oceans.
Don’t be racist, racism pulls the nations back, and the souls down.
Don’t be a slave for the brand of your shirt, for the kardashians granddaughters lips, or for the green paper.
Don’t be a slave for the nothingness, for what will be gone.
Aseel Jan 2019
You look at the mirror
realize that you changed for someone else
How much you hate it
You start searching for yourself again
You search for the stories you used to hide
For the poems you wrote behind your face
You search for your little secrets hanging on the corner of your lips
For the curses in your eyes
You search for the things you hided untill they were forgotten
And the things you forgot utill they disappeared
unill you disappeared
And the only thing you can see
Is a fake reflection on the mirror.
....
تنظرُ إلى المرآة
و تعي في لحظة واحدة أنّك تغيّرت لأجل أحدهم
تكرهُ نفسك
تبحثُ عن قصائدك المُخبّأة خلف وجهك
عن الأسرار المُعلّقة عند زاوية فمك
تبحثُ عن الشتائم في عينيك
و الغضب في حنجرتك
عن الأشياء التي خبّأتها إلى أن نسيتها
و نسيتها إلى أن اختفت
إلى أن اختفيت
و لا يبقى منك سوى انعكاس كاذب
على المرآة
Jan 2019 · 398
Ok
Aseel Jan 2019
Ok
I just want to tell you everything will be ok. And for you to believe me.
Dec 2018 · 680
Wounds
Aseel Dec 2018
Some woundes can’t be healed with love.
Especially those which were made by the hands of anger.
Dec 2018 · 597
Imagination
Aseel Dec 2018
I can
Imagine spending my life
Drinking from your mouth
My red wine
Smoking your fingers
Geting high on your breaths
Touching every cell of you
Hearing their stories
With every cell of mine.
.
I can
Imagine waking up everyday
To your hair on my face
Your cold feet touching mine
Your stomach nagging for bacon
And your lips starving for a kiss
.
I can
Imagine you as happiness
And sadness
anger
peace
love
As ups and downs
smiles and tears
As roses and thrones
Heaven and hell
Fire and rain
as the good thing in every one of them
.
I can
Imagine you as life
As reality.
Dec 2018 · 638
Mom
Aseel Dec 2018
Mom
I can’t understand moms.
They love you, but really turn your life into hell.
Dec 2018 · 489
Heart vs. brain
Aseel Dec 2018
His head on my lap
But I still have this question
Why is there a gap?
My heart and my brain
Are in two different directions
The heart feels warm
A little bit cozy and safe
The brain is a storm
Wishing he could hide in a cave
Dec 2018 · 426
Panic
Aseel Dec 2018
Sometimes, I have this panic attack on being with someone.
It’s never easy for me to let anyone see the chaotic world behind my ribs. It’s really chaotic behind my ribs.
I sometimes think I prefer spending my Friday nights alone on letting anyone to stick his empty head inside my chest.
Dec 2018 · 1.2k
Knock - block
Aseel Dec 2018
Knock knock
Pretty face
Perfect body
******y brain
Unfriend
Block
Dec 2018 · 397
House
Aseel Dec 2018
What if the house you've always wanted to buy wants to be empty  ?
Dec 2018 · 2.0k
Follow your heart
Aseel Dec 2018
I followed my heart
And now I’m in the bottom.
Dec 2018 · 507
Trust?
Aseel Dec 2018
Sometimes, it’s very difficult to trust you.
The butterflies in my stomach are alive again
But not because of love
This time
It’s because of incertitude
You changed
The sparkle in your eyes is gone
Your smile is so fake
Your chest is so cold
So I know
It’s not my brain
It’s your attitude
Dec 2018 · 592
Anger
Aseel Dec 2018
.
Arabic :
لكنّني أخشى فقط أن أغضب.
أن يتراكم الغضب إلى أن يصل إلى حلقي فلا أصرخ، ولا أبكي، ولا أشكي، و لكن أبتسم ككاذبة.
Dec 2018 · 150
Sundark
Aseel Dec 2018
أتذوّق العتمة في ضوء الشمس.
I can taste the darkness in the sunshine.
Dec 2018 · 424
Room
Aseel Dec 2018
You allow someone to get inside the hidden room in your soul
Then all you can do is watching him changing the furniture
and painting the walls with the color you hate.
Everyone will try to change it the way they like
Everyone will make you regret letting them in.
Dec 2018 · 235
Hidden = disappeared
Aseel Dec 2018
I started hiding parts of me until they’ve  got mad and left.
Aseel Dec 2018
من عادتي أن أمشي بطيئًا جدًّا في الحب.
يستيقظ قلبي عندما يرقصُ قلب غيري، و يرقصُ قلبي عندما يبدأُ قلبه بالاحتراق، و يحترق قلبي بعدما يكون قلبه قد أنار العتمة كلها بمفرده.
أمشي بطيئًا بالحب، ولا أعرفُ مشيًا غيره، و لذلك كان على من يُمسك بيدي أن يمشي بسرعة عشرين كيلومتر في الساعة رغم أنّ قلبه يركب طائرة نفّاثة.
طعمُ الطيران يُصبحُ باهتًا عندما تكونُ خائفًا.
و هكذا، أصلُ مُتأخرة لكلّ مرحلة، بعد جُهدٍ لا يراه من كان أمامي يُدحرجُ قلبه ككرة القدم بينما أجرُّ خاصتي خلفي جرًّا.
أصلُ بعد أيّام و أسابيع، بعد أن يكونوا قد أكلوا مشاعرهم ليتسلّوا بها خلال الانتظار.
أصلُ إليهم فارغين إلّا من أُغنية ميّتة و وردة حمراء ذابلة، و الكثير من الضجر.
يضحكُ قلبي، يهمسُ لي أن في حالاتٍ كهذه، ألّا تصلَ أبدًا خيرٌ من أن تصل مُتأخرًا.
ثمّ يجرّني خلفه
و أعود.

...

It is my habit to walk ever so slow in love.  
My heart awakens when another's begins to dance,  
And it dances only when their heart starts to burn.  
Yet mine burns only after theirs has lit up all the darkness alone.  

I walk slowly in love, and I know no other way.  
So the one who holds my hand must race ahead—  
Twenty kilometers an hour—  
While his heart rides a jet through the skies.  
But the taste of flight turns dull  
When fear clutches at your chest.  

And so, I reach each stage too late,  
After struggles unseen by those ahead,  
Who roll their hearts like a ball on the field  
While I drag mine behind me, step by step.  
I arrive after days and weeks,  
When they have long since devoured their emotions  
To pass the time as they wait.  

I find them empty,  
Save for a dead song, a withered red rose,  
And a weary, lingering boredom.  
My heart laughs, whispers to me,  
"In such moments, never arriving  
Is better than arriving too late."  
Then it pulls me back—  
And I return.
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