You aren't the first to tell me that...
So I'm trying to forgive and forget.
But it's hard.
It's hard when someone you love
Tells you that your feelings aren't reasonable.
Like I don't already know that...
Feelings aren't always about logic and fact.
Sometimes people just feel things.
Sometimes for stupid reasons.
You don't have to understand why.
I just thought you cared enough
To want to make me feel better.
Instead you let me return to my head
And torture myself for hours.
You left me there when I just needed
To be held for a moment.
I just needed to hear
That everything was okay.
I just needed to know
That you still loved me,
And that you didn't want me to be uncomfortable.
I know all that should be a given.
Sometimes a gentle reminder just helps...
And keeps me out of the dark.
I'm trying my best to not be
The anxious, self conscious mess
That I always am.
I want to turn it off...
But I don't always win that fight,
And I'm really sorry...
And I already hate myself enough
Every time I do fail.
Please don't give up on me too...
It’s hard to feel the love when you hate being in a relationship.
I'm suffocating again
Gasping for breath
Unable to inhaul the air
That I so desperately need
I feel my lungs burning bright
A flame roaring in my chest
Desperate to escape
I have to leave.
I need to spread my wings
I need to feel the cool breeze
Rushing through my hair
I need to have the clear view of the sky
To fly to where I want to be
I can't be held down by chains again
This isint where I belong
I can't breath
I'm too close to the edge
Push me now and I'll fall
Pulling my feathers one by one
I'm slowly losing my ability of flight
Please let me go
I'm losing my will to fight
Dont hold me in your embrace
Its not love and warmth that I'm searching for
Its the freedom that sets my heart ablaze
Not to continue to see the same face
Let me go
Dont ask me what's wrong
Dont tell me the words that you think will persuade me
Just silently stand by
And allow me to be free
I want to be alone
I want to be with me
I need time to think
I need to recover
I can't keep doing this...
I just can't anymore...
Just let me breath the air that I so desperately desire
Just let me be me
I'm going to disappear again
Me just screaming and freaking the **** because im a mess and life is just getting to a crashing point
I NEED TO BREATH
I deal with the nervous excitement differently,
I freak out completely.
I tend to run
Freak out and run
Run from again
Something within me drives me forwards
I'm still learning the difference
Between love and lust
Affection, attraction, and admiration
They feel similar
Too often I don't understand what I am feeling
Too often I don't know what I'm doing
******* things up
I'm a troll in a deep dark hole...
I think I've forgotten how to be alone.
— The End —