asking questions to fill the space
too many questions
puzzle pieces my mind hides from me
too many questions
wondering what i am bound to be?
is there any choice, should i rejoice?
in the unshakability of my story
or should i try to break the mold?
colour outside of the lines, abandon the box
I've been told a lot, i've been sold a lot
of fake dreams, anxiety brewing
too many questions
what am i doing?

in a different bed, in a different city
yet there are pieces of you that linger in me
dreams of your scent, nights breaking bread
if only we could hold out until infinity
too late, first mistake was falling
too late, second mistake was calling

does everything that is whole have a centre?
been trying to find my centre, been on ******
lost friends, lost numbers
cruise control, build a new home
you can lay your eggs in my old nest
switched lanes, prayed for the best
i confessed, survived with less
burning bridges, island oasis
double down, justice i’ll face it
tolerate too much then nothing more
i am so abrasive

IGNITE THE HEART OF THE FOREST FIRE
DO NOT COMPLAIN WHEN LACED W ASH
DESTROY THE CONFIDENCE OF THE PRINCE
EXPECT THE DRAGON’S FLAME TO BE RASH
UNLOCK THE B*TCH TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH
DO NOT DISRESPECT ME AGAIN

My ivory skin compliments your white lies
broke into my castle underneath my skin
walked all over the clean floors and broke all the windows
Reminded of you every time the wind blows
my queen bed making my ego feel inferior
Got under my skin, cannot even feel safe in my own interior
my secret oasis of waterfall tears, interrupted by your bittersweet dears
leave me strung out on feelings of ecstasy and empathy
the cycle of manipulation and the growth of green envy
Slowly wrapping around my neck, squeezing my back
under the enchantment of your snake eyes
the devil takes many forms didn't expect it to feel so right
Drape me in your energy as I kiss the moonlight

braided by burdens
hidden from the wandering sun
my cage was bronze, my voice frozen
only could stretch once i was
unbolted, unjolted, of all these poisons
soaking into my psyche at every moment
altering the shade of joy, door left open
reruns from the demons, another opponent
the drink so potent, my ego stolen
a wordy poet silenced to biological atonement

take off your shell, wash off the dirt that is layered upon your skin
come out of the cave, show us what’s within
the expertly built walls that surround your lake of life
you can’t keep swimming away all your life
reclusive exclusive beach ***
elusive and ruined pretty creature

grandfather clocks and long talks about home
boring thoughts clogging the dome
under the bell jar everything is magnified
my emotions become personified
you are my anger, you are my sadness
i scream from behind the glass
you are my danger, you are my weakness
i wish it was that simple of a reason

kaleidoscope, hanging rope
so many options, so many ways to go
but so many ways to fall
can you handle my all
I guess only time knows
time is so fickle but so are my fears
time is so riddled with endings
that's why I keep you near
interlaced, preventing heartbreak
but no matter the amount of effort the sum is pain
so I worship the rain in my dry spell
I focus on the power in myself
to stand tall and plan for the many ways I can fall
I wish the best for myself

Silence is scary because it means all your thoughts remain in your head
Femme Fatale, black widow waiting for the vibrations of the web
Insecure in my feelings I weep, grand dreams of being wed
But too often the bridesmaid but that is beside me

I just wish I never followed this path again
I could've trusted my intuition and not the way you led
Instead of harboring my ocean inside, I freeze
Focus on anything, the trees, the buzzing bees
But time after time I can feel you creep into my head
My emotional seas uprooted by your breeze
Reminding me of your touch, the way you breathe, the lack

Hoping finally the key I need would come to me
Open me up like a door exposing my heart to the floor
After years of leave, frozen perfectly
You exposed me to everything, now my body needs

Maybe I tried escaping myself by diving into you
But how I forget that you simply a mirror
Showcasing my biggest fear... myself

Following the waterfalls birthed from my jade eyes, I feel duede
I feel free, connected to the divine and welcoming happy endings
To my problems that are rendered insufficient by the grand scheme of things
I recommend introspection to get to the root of things
To not be clouded by the snow mist that sits upon our minds
Freezing the creativity preventing us the ability to thrive
To spend all our time dissecting lies
To spend our time believing eyes
But deep within our intuition knows
That they are lying simply by the crinkle of their nose
Or the bead of sweat dancing elegantly on their forehead
My sixth sense I cannot pretend
Not to notice the lack of devotion and the bubbling of repressed emotion
Just close your eyes and dive into the blue blue ocean

I made an album out of confusion
I found a journey worth pursuing
in the rubble of it all, I found myself underneath it all
the stones and bricks, the hero within
to save me from this apocalypse
under the shimmering moon I grew
this is a rebirth, once in a blue moon

I am slender and my figure is the topic of discussion
unsolicited advice about how much I should eat
as if my weight is their goal to reap
I am skin and bones just like you
I feel confident and insecure just like you
Looking into my mirror and reflecting on your comments
Analyzing every curve or lack thereof like it is a contest
who can be the King and Queen of Fools
suffering self-esteem underneath the entrenched rules
I hope you never feel the way you make others feel
A broken bird

You did it again
I forgave and repented
But after you did it again
I am feeling resentment
you do not care, hands in my hair
you never share your words, i care
i care to listen
i care to hear
i care to know all your fears
i care and i hate it
i care, i think its fated
do i stay while you run me over or get out of your way?
do i stay in the flames another day?
burn my ego?
burn any grace

bashful, ash blonde hair
unnatural how much he cared
burnt like a cigarette
slurs always hurled at him
unassuming he still cared
joyful, knew it wasn’t fair
try again like a spare
to be cut like a pear
misunderstood, too aware

i picture your hand on top of mine
catching fire while i rub on your thigh
i didn’t have expectations but you exceeded mine
thunder stricken, hit it a second time
wonder if you dreams look like mine
your body draped in candle light

took 3 years for our orbit to weave
such serendipity then you quickly leave
took too long me for to finally see
such negligence, green to brown leaves

took every ounce of me to not bottle it away
such strength it took to continue the day
took too long for me to finally be ok
dangerous, nefarious, warped awareness
welcome back to the grey

Godsent; tangled in bed
Loveless until I heard the first word you said
Solitude to interweaving my hands with you
Penetrating the thoughts in my head
Cannot escape your eyes or memories of your hand

Your energy I am drunk off again
Moments with you I can feel my ascent
Body morphed into yours; wearing your scent
Love is beyond simply frolicking in bed

It's a state of a mind, an appreciation
It's a sweet embrace, no complications
In love with your body but your mind grabs me
Piques my interest, keeps me invested

Want my fingers to graze every cell of your brain
Want to taste every memory filled with pain
Absorb all your emotions and connect again
I have a feeling it's you and me at the end

I read and read but the words do not stick
trying to forge a path but the plants are too thick
my brain fills with mist, my days i reminisce
i was simple before the downloads
now i etch the voices of my mind into the poetry i write
so i shuffle my tarot cards laced with divine
now is never the time, they say, i fray
i am fickle, riddled with adversity
i am tickled by you thinking you deserve me
a dinner date and you expect to open my legs
i say my thoughts but they get lost in your primitive state
ephemeral, see me through the lens of withdrawal
chemical, plentiful, ego mixed with alcohol