streams of speech rolling out of me
filling up my room with feeling
swimming in our own dealings
was it equal?
was it real?
storms of chaos were brewing
filling up all my perception
neglected my honed senses
was it fair?
was it canon?
stranded in my shame
swimming to a shallow grave
why must i hide?
why must i hide?

your true colours remind me of my old bruises
the hues, the truth stuck in my throat
the feeling of being useless
your truth cannot rectify the divide inside
the echoing of inner child cries
the pain is stuck inside
choking on my insecurities
you were supposed to be my security
the foundation is weak
too scared to speak
choking on my impurity
will you still stay through the grey?
when i rain, will you hide away?
strive today for a idyllic place
to lay my head, to plan, protect
to understand your hands
as soft not violent
as truth not sufficing
why is my heart so divided?
can we make amends?

fur lined coat
misspoke, words stuck in my throat
xoxo, written
let attraction become diminished
misspoke, memories mined for gold
xoxo, smitten
misspoke, your scent clinging to my clothes
xoxo, got to go
long walk home

my teeth at your throat
jaw clenching
i taste your sweet cocktail
sweat and fantasy
love is there too

the blood in my mouth
it has always been yours

do you hear the wind?
I felt my body shift
that night, that night
do you understand this?
I am perplexed by the impression of your lips
you strength of your hips
the firework bliss
do you require my fire?
I desire the flames of your kiss
the passion persists
do you understand this?

yearning until the dawn
waiting for the tears to come
the dam can only hold for so long
take a nighttime jog
waiting for the tears to come
backs will break after so long
pedal my bike to secret spots
settle strife stroking
pedal my bike to secret spots
unsettled strife poking

remembering so vividly
the promises you spoke
the way they remained long after you left
the roses whiting away beside my bed
remembering is painful
but i can never forget
tried to smoke away, drink my regret
but you are at the bottom of the bottle
diagnosis
hypnosis
remembering too potent