The one nice thing
About being utterly devastated
Is it gives you plenty
To write about.

I am not a disposable library,
Of information for you to borrow,
But never return.

He was the star crossed, passion filled, love of my life. It was an unfortunately cruel truth that i wasnt his. That's just the sickening way that fate shakes things out sometimes.

I knew I was nothing to you
But what a dream it was
To pretend I was something.

People say love is not supposed to hurt.
But I loved you
And it hurt like hell.

One day,
I'll look back at you,
And wonder why I have to look back.

The hard part about telling someone you dont love them
Is meaning it

I wrote my thoughts
On parchment as soft as your skin
Hoping I would finally
Feel something again.
With ink as red
As the blood of your lips,
Oh darling how,
Did we end up like this?

For me,
Being next to you feels like home.
Safe. Finally.
For you, I'm just a rest stop.

You softened me
Like butter
With you sweet words and
Hungry looks
And for a while I really did feel
Coveted.
What a fool I made myself into.

Snowflake kisses
Are almost as good
As the real thing.

I strung mistletoe,
On every bough,
And waited patiently,
For you.
But you were the only one,
Who never showed up.

We don't do that romantic ****,
He said ,
Because we're not lovers, just friends,
But darling, oh,
I romanticize you every day

I spend my life in exit rows
Ready to pull the door at moments notice
And escape

I could have spent hours on that tarmac,
Waiting for planes, and adventure, and you.
God, I waited for you.
Now all I want to do is fly away.

I was a work of art;
You fell in love.
Until you realized you could look,
But couldn't touch

You wrote poetry on my skin
With your tongue and lips
With such beautiful words
How did we end up broken like this?

My insides are made
Of shattered glass
Held together by pink bubble gum
An irreparable scene
Masked by leather jackets, red lips,
And pastel hair dye.
I wear fake battle scars on the outside
So people don't dare look in.

The burn marks on my skin,
Left by his prints,
Make me never want to be held again.

You're like a red wine stain
On a white carpet;
You never seem to go away.

If I had known that would have been goodbye,
Maybe I wouldn't have left so fast,
I would have kissed your cheek,
Squeezed your hand,
Sunk into your hug a little deeper.
But now you're down in Texas,
And I'm here in Minnesota, alone.

It's raining
And I'm watching planes take off and leave and
I'm sitting on trains that run endless loops
And I could be anywhere and
Instead I am here.

It's still raining and
I'm still watching planes take off and land,
And I'm still sitting on trains that
Run in endless loops
And all I want to be,
Is with you.

"So I'll probably **** myself,"
I said to you,
"But not until I'm 21 and can stain my lips red
And drink for real
And get so drunk I'll dance right off a cliff.
The rocks at the bottom will hug me so tight I'll split right open.
And then I'll never be able to hide any of it
It'll all be there for you to see.
Bleeding out."
You looked at me and all you said was
"Okay."

I woke up alone,
In that King Sized bed,
Panicked that you had gone.
And then I realized
You had been gone
For a long time.

A house isn't a home when
You're not around it.
A plane isn't a bird when its
Grounded.
You've left my heart confounded
You can't stay but I can't go
What is left I don't know
I know this story
Its sad but true
You'll never choose me but
I'll always choose you.

This is the story of the lover who felt everything, and the lover who felt nothing.
In the beginning, it was just she and he,
And she felt the flutter of butterflies, and new beginnings,
While he felt nothing.
And then it all became tangible, and they were together,
For a short while,
And she felt excitement, nerves, and promise,
While he felt nothing.
And while the laughed and made love,
She began to fall while he felt nothing,
And when she fell all the way,
Deeply, completely, ridiculously,
He felt nothing.
And when everything crashed and burned,
And she felt shattered, empty, and cursed,
He felt nothing.
And when there were small bubbles of hope,
She felt smiles,
While he felt nothing.
And when they started to drift yet again,
She felt longing, and sadness, and missed her friend, her love,
And he felt nothing.
And in the end, even through the lowest of lows, the lover who felt everything was better off.
Because even as she is on her own,
And growing again,
He still feels nothing at all.

Crack my spine grind my bones
My body has never been my own
Set fire to my skin
Watch how it makes me dance
Whisper in my ear, as if I have a chance
Take what little is left
Use it for your own
I'm already your puppet
My body is not my home.

I've spent a year
Loving you
With nothing in return.

I think it's time to stop.

Find the person,
Who you never need to fill the silences with,
But who you always want to.
Find the person,
Whose stories you can listen to,
For hours,
And never tire.
Find the person,
Who fits you like a puzzle piece,
Who connects to you in ways you never thought possible.
And I think I've found that,
In you.

Ive got stars laced
In my skin;
My freckles light up the sky.
I'm a work of art,
Although unfinished,
A masterpiece nonetheless

Perhaps I get a little too invested,
With anyone who might just,
Happen to look my way

I wasn't okay when you left,
And I wasn't okay when you came back,
Then left again.
But I'm still standing here,
And I think that's what's really important.

I watched the words drop from your lips,
Like nuclear bombs,
Aimed to obliterate:
My body,
My soul,
My heart.
Like a frenzied citizen,
Preparing for the hit,
Then the fallout.
Gathering rations,
Securing the shelter,
But it is of no use.
No one can be completely prepared,
For utter destruction.
----------------------------------------------------­-----------
"Sorry, I'm just not interested in you, anymore."

Your eyes were a twisted blue, like the ocean,
And just as deep.
I was worried I would drown in them.


Perhaps I did.

I fell in love with you in fractions.
At first it was simply with your shy awkwardness,
The way our silences were never filled,
And that was absolutely okay.
And then it was with your face,
The stubble on your chin,
The way your eyes crinkle slightly at the corners,
And how you always look me in the eye when we talk.
Following this was the pain of our goodbyes,
How each hug didn't feel like enough,
And even when our parting should have been finalized,
We continued.
That was followed by the way you held me,
Our bare chests pressed against each other,
Your hands dancing down my back,
Your fingers tracing each of my tattoos,
And how you would whisper the sweetest things,
Into my left ear.
And finally I fell in love with the way you didn't love me,
The way you cared, but not enough.
And I was so painfully filled with love for you,
That every fiber of my being begged for you to feel it,
Too.

I splash my face with chilled water,
Hoping the shock will freeze you out of my heart.
I take scalding showers,
To try and burn your touch from my body,
Where I can still feel your hands linger.
I drag the razor along my legs where you once kissed,
Shaving away pieces of you, letting the metal bite into my skin,
Hoping I can bleed you out of my soul.

I fell in love with you in fractions,
At first it was simply with your shy awkwardness,
The way our silences were never filled,
And that was absolutely ok.
And then it was with your face,
The stubble on your chin,
The way your eyes crinkle slightly at the corners,
And how you look me in the eye when we talk.
That was followed by the way you held me,
Our bare chests pressed against each other,
Your hands softly caressing my back,
And how you would whisper the sweetest things,
Into my left ear.
And finally I fell in love with the way you didn't love me,
And I was so painfully filled with love for you,
That every fiber of my being begs for you to feel it,
Too.

I long for the life I've only seen,
In picture books and magazines.

I would gladly ruin my sleep schedule every night,
To speak with you,
But you would rather just say "good bye."

I'll spend forever,
Wondering if I could loved you better.

Give me a sign,
That things are alright,
I'll hold your hand,
Till the morning's first light.

You drifted in like the tide,
Ebbing and flowing all around me,
Covering me in what was you.
And now youre drifting out and away,
And all I can hope is,
You'll stick true to the tide and,
Come back again.

I'm stumbling
        Stumbling
           Tumbling
               Down a path of no return
You have lead me astray,
   Pushed me down the rabbit hole,
      With no rope to pull myself back up.
                            As I freefall I can't help but
     Let the thoughts consume my mind.
Will this dark tunnel end in Wonderland?
                                                                    Or will it leave me in Neverland?

As you held my hand,
You broke my bones.

My thoughts scream against the cage
Of my brain
Pounding to be set free
As I go blue in the face from holding
My breath.

I'll overthink and overanalyze
In a vain attempt to save myself
But you are impenetrable to
My musings and I cannot see
Too far foward from this moment in time.

So as my lips purse and crack and bleed
I'll smile for you every time
And hope perhaps, if my reading is right,
Youll make your smile, mine.

Maybe my poems would be happier,
If I thought our future were brighter

Your words, yes, are very nice,
But only bringing them to action,
Will suffice.

Even when I'm tired, and all the memories,
have begun to fade,
My words will bleed you onto the page.
Even when the heartache finally, oh finally,
starts to slip away,
My words will bleed you onto the page.
Even when I can feel your hand in mine,
But cannot picture your sweet face,
My words will bleed you onto the page.

I do not think there shall ever be a time,
In your existence, or in mine,
When my words do not bleed you onto a page.
I'll write you into every history,
Every love story,
Every poem.
So that even when we are all dead and gone,
No one will ever forget you.

I'll do this silly dance with you,
Hoping that your promises do come true.