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Audrey Maday Jan 2015
Today I came to a stark, sad realization.
I don't think I can be friends with you while you're with her.
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
Maybe I don't want to be sad anymore,
Maybe I want to stop crying.
But the pain just won't go away;
The only cure is dying.
Audrey Maday Jan 2017
One day,
I'll look back at you,
And wonder why I have to look back.
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
If I cannot love you as a lover,
Then I suppose,
I'll settle for loving you as a friend
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
I've come to find,
I tend to love the right people,
At the wrong time.
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
I begged for you to stay,
And I'll never forgive myself for being that weak.
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
After our fight,
Two days ago,
You apologized right away,
Saying you wanted to make amends.

You were so upset,
"I want to be friends,"
You told me over and over again.

But when I asked,
If you would stop by,
So we could speak, just
For a little while.

Your response was short,
And oh so simple,
A sad, cold,
Audrey Maday Jan 2016
Ive got stars laced
In my skin;
My freckles light up the sky.
I'm a work of art,
Although unfinished,
A masterpiece nonetheless
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
I remember letting you read my books once and I think that's when I really let you in, when I told myself I was ready to once again trust someone to understand every explicit side of myself. Now you've made a nest inside, burrowed into the deepest corners, and I can't get you out and I can't let anyone in and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust you with my words again.
Audrey Maday Jan 2017
The hard part about telling someone you dont love them
Is meaning it
Audrey Maday Oct 2015
I watched the words drop from your lips,
Like nuclear bombs,
Aimed to obliterate:
My body,
My soul,
My heart.
Like a frenzied citizen,
Preparing for the hit,
Then the fallout.
Gathering rations,
Securing the shelter,
But it is of no use.
No one can be completely prepared,
For utter destruction.
"Sorry, I'm just not interested in you, anymore."
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I will not let myself care for you,
I will not let myself be hurt again.
My new mantra
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
You promised me the world,
Then left to go find your own.
Audrey Maday Nov 2016
You wrote poetry on my skin
With your tongue and lips
With such beautiful words
How did we end up broken like this?
Audrey Maday Nov 2016
I was a work of art;
You fell in love.
Until you realized you could look,
But couldn't touch
Audrey Maday Nov 2015
I wasn't okay when you left,
And I wasn't okay when you came back,
Then left again.
But I'm still standing here,
And I think that's what's really important.
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
When tears stain my cheeks,
I'll remember moments like these:
The sudden lift of takeoff,
Stolen kisses,
What it feels like to dance above
The sky in a metal tube,
The gentle, secret, brush of fingers,
Pure sky, blue against white wing tips,
The lurch of acceleration,
The lurch of my heartbeat,
The collision of lips,
The sun peaking through cotton
Candy clouds, as white as hotel
When tears stain my cheeks, I'll remember you,
Even if you were the one to put them there.
Audrey Maday Jan 2015
I know now that you cannot give me,
What I truly want.
But that doesn't mean,
I'm okay with you leaving.
I'm not okay
Audrey Maday Jul 2015
I long for the life I've only seen,
In picture books and magazines.
Audrey Maday Dec 2016
I strung mistletoe,
On every bough,
And waited patiently,
For you.
But you were the only one,
Who never showed up.
Audrey Maday Dec 2016
You softened me
Like butter
With you sweet words and
Hungry looks
And for a while I really did feel
What a fool I made myself into.
Audrey Maday Dec 2016
For me,
Being next to you feels like home.
Safe. Finally.
For you, I'm just a rest stop.
Audrey Maday Dec 2016
I wrote my thoughts
On parchment as soft as your skin
Hoping I would finally
Feel something again.
With ink as red
As the blood of your lips,
Oh darling how,
Did we end up like this?
Audrey Maday Dec 2016
We don't do that romantic ****,
He said ,
Because we're not lovers, just friends,
But darling, oh,
I romanticize you every day
Audrey Maday Dec 2015
Perhaps I get a little too invested,
With anyone who might just,
Happen to look my way
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
How long can you
Pretend I dont exist
Until I simply don't?
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I feel as useful as a white crayon,
I feel as if no one will love me again

Why did you go?
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
Every future I can see still has you in it,
So why aren't you in my arms?
Audrey Maday Jun 2015
My thoughts scream against the cage
Of my brain
Pounding to be set free
As I go blue in the face from holding
My breath.

I'll overthink and overanalyze
In a vain attempt to save myself
But you are impenetrable to
My musings and I cannot see
Too far foward from this moment in time.

So as my lips purse and ***** and bleed
I'll smile for you every time
And hope perhaps, if my reading is right,
Youll make your smile, mine.
Audrey Maday Feb 2016
Find the person,
Who you never need to fill the silences with,
But who you always want to.
Find the person,
Whose stories you can listen to,
For hours,
And never tire.
Find the person,
Who fits you like a puzzle piece,
Who connects to you in ways you never thought possible.
And I think I've found that,
In you.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I still do not understand,
How someone who once loved you,
More than life itself,
Can suddnely be so unendlingly,
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
Perhaps it was foolish of me,
To expect more to follow,
Our simple conversation.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I made a deal,
With myself,
To protect my heart and
shattered soul,
At all expenses necessary.
I made a promise,
To myself,
To never feel caring emotions,
Unless they are requited.

Yet I still see you,
In my dreams,
You haunt each path I take.
How do I remove you,
Set myself free,
Without needless heartbreak?
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
"God created English so that Shakespeare could be born,"
My English professor told me,
Upon entering class,
But as I sat in my desk,
I mused,
Perhaps God created English,
So that you and I may converse.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I knew well enough not to get my hopes up,
But perhaps I was hoping,
That I would be more significant to you.
For if I were,
I would not be ashamed of what we do,
I would not cry because I'm letting it happen again,
And it has nothing to do with your feelings towards me,
It has everything to do with the lack of them.
Sick of being used. Really sick.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
I'll write love songs on my wrists,
With old, metal blades,
And pretend you can hear the words,
Which I will never say.
But you will never see them,
And I will never speak,
My thoughts are just too heavy,
And my heart is just too weak.
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
I was fooled once,
By the crystal hopes,
Of love and happiness,
I've decided now,
To close shop,
Lest my heart be jested again.
Once had been shame on him,
But fortune had not my favour,
Fooled again, twice it seems,
And I only have myself to shame.
Audrey Maday Mar 2017
People say love is not supposed to hurt.
But I loved you
And it hurt like ****.
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
She's got broken things,
Where her heart should be,
Shattered glass from old,
Milk bottles and shiny,
Fragments of CDs she,
Made for the love of her life.
The central ***** was beat,
To a ****** pulp,
And her bones are now,
Made of glass,
So fragile one step might just,
But she seems to,
Keep on going,
Even though the going is quite,
Even with bones of ice and,
No heart,
She hasn't had enough.
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
She dyed her hair
Every time she lost a person,
Her hair has been,
More than 15 colours.
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
I hear your words
In the howling, screaming wind
Outside my house
And God, the winds are strong tonight.
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
It wasn't your sharpest knives,
Or mad fighting skills,
That killed me so brutally.

It was the look in your eyes,
And the way your mouth formed the words,
That fell deaf on my ears,
As my heart fractured and fell to pieces:
"I can't do this anymore."
today would have been an anniversary
Audrey Maday Mar 2015
If our bones are,
Made of stardust,
Our hearts must,
Be made of something
Perhaps within us,
We each have,
A beating star.
Audrey Maday May 2015
When I look at him,
I see a very bright future,
It's very sad that I,
Can't see myself in it,
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
You were everything I thought you would be,
And I think that's why this hurts so badly.
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
Dipping our toes into darkness,
We broke but the surface,
Riding midnight waves,
Grabbing tightly at what we know,
Letting go of what we don't,
If only for but a moment,
Hidden in this place of shadow,
We collide.
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
It was late,
We were early,
It was wrong,
But we were right,
It was dangerous,
But us--we were easy,
It felt empty,
But we felt full,
It was secret,
But we exposed ours,
It felt emotionless,
But we felt emotion,
It was something;
We were something.
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
I'll cloak myself in your words,
And hope they are enough to keep,
The cold from shattering my bones.
Audrey Maday Jul 2015
Give me a sign,
That things are alright,
I'll hold your hand,
Till the morning's first light.
Audrey Maday Apr 2015
I don't want to waste my time on
Someone who won't be constant
But here I am
Here I am
Still wasting all my time on you.
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