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Gulden Girl Feb 11
Sometimes I think all I do is word *****
Thoughts, feelings spread across a page
Occasional regret following them
It all makes me question my mental state

Sometimes I think I should stop writing
Communication, questions come to an end
Quieting my mind
But it still keeps coming, words falling out
kk Nov 2019
Not. Not not not. I’m scared. Maybe I need to eat (nauseous)
I don’t really want to. Don’t want to. Going the right way
Staring people are staring
At you
Looking at you.
At me.
I’m hungry. I’m not. It hurts
My chest is hard
Home. I wanna go home. It hurts
Panic attack? I’m not showing signs. Except I feel...
bad, terrible, exhausted, sick
Shortness of breath, heart palpitations
I’m not freaking out. Not outside
Not outside of me. Not outside so it’s not real
Not real. It’s not real
Slowly walking have to talk to someone prepare prepare lots of people

I acted weird. Was that my brand? No way
I got the masks confused again oh I /knew her/—
I want to go home
Do I have enough money? I’m gonna embarrass myself gonna take too long
Don’t wanna be here anymore. Sometimes living—no. I won’t go down that road
I’m not tired at all

Fresh air. OCD—-
I’m obsessing. Stomach’s gnawing, but I’m so sick
Looks like I was wrong,
You’re content, making—
It’s rumbling. I just need to eat, feel less
So treat me like I’m all yours
...treat me like I’m all yours
Sometimes I’d rather be just a friend
‘Cause they get all the attention and I barely get a thing
Maybe once you've had a drink
Them you might make a move
But that's not how I want it when I'm making love to you

I thought we'd get it on, looks like I was wrong
'Cause you're content making love to your phone
I could give you more, why am I fighting for?
'Cause you're so tired when, baby, I'm not tired at all
I've been feeling lonely lately
One more night and I might give in
Lust, it's just lust
So come on, put your hands on me
And show me how it's supposed to be, I'm yours

So treat me like I'm all yours
Just treat me like I'm all yours
Treat me like I'm all yours
Just treat me like I'm all yours
the song is “treat me like im all yours” by sasha keable. sometimes music’s the only thing keeping me from shutting down
chlorine Jul 2019
betrayal is a dance
yet you still take my hand
dragging me off my feet
to a melody misunderstood,
the rhythm becomes lost
within the loneliest liar
lying safe tonight
Silver Feb 2019
try to find your way when

the voices are far
and the fog is near.

try not to get lost when

the eyes burn
the tongue dries
the ears fall away and
the heart falls apart.

like two lips that lose their
words and choose to breathe instead,
to pacify the aches in the head.

but most important is what you find beneath the haze.

the art
of the maze.
time is passing slow but the hours go fast
Llila Feb 2019
I am but a prisoner to your affections
I am:
Self Shackled
Noose Tied
Hanging on to your every word.

I dare not speak,
For when I do,
Rivers of rot,
Spill out unto you.
putting all my eggs into a half collapsed basket i guess
Jiya Oct 2018
here i sit
here i stay
here i will cry
til i slowly waste away
if to breathe is to drown
to drown is to sing
a drug that can ****
can heal a king
here she sits
here she stays
here she will cry
til she slowly wastes away
if to crawl is to sink
to sink is to fly
a man that loves god
can hate his own life
here he sits
here he stays
here he will cry
til he slowly wastes away
just a word ***** poem written whilst i was bored in class.
Drew Oct 2018
Often the words “I’m fine” slip from my mouth. I can no longer tell if I actually feel this way or if it is just a sense of numbness in my body and I don’t want those around me worrying about me. My problems have never mattered much to anyone. I’ve always felt alone in the way I am feeling and I know it sounds cliche but the way people respond when I tell them this is even more so. They tell me “You’re not the only one feeling this way”, “Don’t complain someone else has it worse” or my favorite of all “I am here for you”. Very seldom are people actually there for me. They may say they are, they might actually surprise me and make the effort once and be there for me but never is it a continuous feeling of someone being there for me. My life has been complete trash for the past year. My mental health is getting worse and worse and my depression is spreading to all corners of my body. It’s like I’ve been diagnosed with a cancer you can’t see, Except for mine is not physical it is mental.  I hurt constantly. I smile and I believe I am happy but after a while the smile fades and like a rush of wind my thoughts come back to me. I think of everything I did that day and all of the embarrassing things I did. Wishing, Hoping, praying I could take those things away but what’s done is done. I can’t take away all of the embarrassing and gut wrenching things I did that day. The way I think and the way I act is probably the reason why I don’t have any real friends around me anymore. The only friend I ever wanted to be around moved and now I am alone. I hate the new people I hang around. I like my friends from work but I they’re always busy and I know one day I will never see them either. I will barely be a blip in the minds of the people I know now in the future and some people might find that terrifying but I find peace in it. I don’t have to be here and people would be okay. I am not needed, I make no difference in people's lives and I am content with that. I could say “***** off” to the entire earth and no one would even be affected by it. And I find complete and total peace in that. Even if feeling lonely rips my body to pieces, at least I am finally numb to it.
GoldenVirgo Sep 2018
Came back from work today...I'm not allowed to fix any mistakes
All I keep doing is thinking and thinking and its driving me
into the full yet empty darkness settling down
comforting the silence
and yet Ive never screamed louder
crying in a distant commotion
confused about my own morality
tragedies happen every day
and yet I'm not happy
You can't expect me to be smiling
Depression comes and goes like your shadow
Gathering all the thoughts you have and then molding them into a weapon
shoving them down your throat
suffocating until you croak

then theres a light
shining above you
begging you to step back in
the weight on your feet
pulling you into a darkness without end
how did this all begin
when will this ever end

s o m e t i m e s
o u r
m i n d
i s
a s
p a p e r
t h i n
a s
o u r
  *s o u l
Words pile up like *****
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