I say I'll regret you till the end of time,
But truly I pray for one more minute of yours.

There's an odd temptation in her eye,
Lord, how I wish to catch it

How am I supposed to know what to say,
When you're so impossibly hard to read?

All of my best poems
Are about you.

He came screaming into my life like a balloon accidentally,
Let loose before the knot is tied,
And his words make me giddy.
So why do the words not flow onto the page over him?
Why can I only write sad poems?

I think I've found,
For the very first time,
It may be my head, not my heart,
Who isn't ready

Never make a person your home because
One night you'll have come home later and
You're tired and it's pouring and
You're cold and shivering but
They have changed the locks.

I find myself reading more and more
Autobiographies
In a desperate attempt to find
Someone who feels the same pain as I do.

His words stab me in the heart,
Rip my insides to pieces,
Leave me bleeding.
Yet, sadly,
His words somehow try to place a bandage,
Over my wounds he caused.

As Hozier says,
"Take me to church,"
Oh God, please do,
Place me inside that beautiful metal tube,
Gliding through blue skies,
Put me in an airplane,
So I can be renewed,
Please, don't leave me stranded here on the ground,
All I crave it to touch the clouds,
I'll sacrifice my entire being,
If I'm only allowed to fly.

When tears stain my cheeks,
I'll remember moments like these:
The sudden lift of takeoff,
Stolen kisses,
What it feels like to dance above
The sky in a metal tube,
The gentle, secret, brush of fingers,
Pure sky, blue against white wing tips,
The lurch of acceleration,
The lurch of my heartbeat,
The collision of lips,
The sun peaking through cotton
Candy clouds, as white as hotel
Sheets.
When tears stain my cheeks, I'll remember you,
Even if you were the one to put them there.

It was late,
We were early,
It was wrong,
But we were right,
It was dangerous,
But us--we were easy,
It felt empty,
But we felt full,
It was secret,
But we exposed ours,
It felt emotionless,
But we felt emotion,
It was something;
We were something.

Dipping our toes into darkness,
We broke but the surface,
Riding midnight waves,
Grabbing tightly at what we know,
Letting go of what we don't,
If only for but a moment,
Hidden in this place of shadow,
We collide.

Entering an airplane,
For me,
Is like entering a church,
This sacred place where we sit in pews,
Eyes glued to the incredible,
Action up front,
Yet the view from the window,
As beautiful as the stained glass of the church back home,
Pulls longingly at my attention,
But unlike church,
I truly feel renewed,
When we land and I exit,
The beautiful, sacred plane.

These words spun,
Like silk,
And occasionally poorly fashioned,
Spider-webs,
From my mouth,
Could all fit so nicely together.
Wouldn't that be the dream?
If these poems could form a book;
A collection?

She wants to learn to fly,
So that she'll never be afraid in an airplane again,
She wants to learn to write well,
So she will never be afraid of how her thoughts are displayed,
She wants to learn ballet,
So she will never be afraid she isn't beautiful.
Poor little girl,
No one ever told her that you,
Never stop being afraid.

I have never seen such a love,
As that of the mountains and the sky,
Every day sharing wet kisses,
Of mist, snow, rain, clouds,
The sky combing gently,
Through the mountain's pine tree hair,
And the mountains forever outstretched,
Reaching up,
Waiting for the moment when the two,
Lost lovers finally collide.

Perhaps it wasn't just his right eye that was blind,
Perhaps it was his,
Moral compass,
And his heart, a little, too.

I'm not sure why exactly that,
I thought things would end different for us,
You with your silver wings,
And me, here on the ground.
But that's exactly what I thought:
"Things will be different for us,"
God, how could I be such a fool?

She had this beautiful face. The kind of face which should have made her a "Popular Girl." But she wasn't. She didn't "fit in" because she liked rock more than country and wore black skinny jeans instead of blue and because at that party she wouldn't sleep with the quarterback, even though he just got us into the state championship.

You were everything I thought you would be,
And I think that's why this hurts so badly.

You said we couldn't talk anymore,
So you helped our lips do other things,
And your hands joined in quickly
Until the knock came at the door
And with silence and a hug, we parted,
Maybe forever.

The one bad thing about,
Having guy friends instead of girl
Friends is that they're
Not girl friends.
When you're laying in tatters on your bed,
Heart completely shattered and destroyed,
And it feels like nothing will ever be okay ever again,
Guys won't curl up beside you and pet
Your hair and they won't vow to
Hate the boy who has wronged you.
Guy friends just say things like,
"****. I'm sorry. That's really ******. That really *****."

I flew to Denver,
With my heart on my sleeve,
Unsure of what awaited.
But little did I know,
You were  an avid fisherman,
And I was already baited.

The feeling of his top lip and bottom
Were like a collision of before and after
And everything between was us and now
His lips were like two fragile
Old books pages which
Came alive once more against mine
Kissing him was like
Every good thing in the world happening
All at once and shared for
Just him and I to witness
A meeting of pure liquid against
Heated fire
And nothing could pull our lips apart
Except
Time.


And eventually...
It did.

You and Me,
We could fit perhaps,
If you tried and cared,
And I didn't care too much.
But of course you won't try or care,
And I will spend my nights pining over someone
Who isn't even mine,
And we will do this tango,
Of similar thoughts for each other,
Without ever acting upon them.

I don't want to waste my time on
Someone who won't be constant
But here I am
Here I am
Still wasting all my time on you.

I'll cloak myself in your words,
And hope they are enough to keep,
The cold from shattering my bones.

I think one of the most terrifying,
Heartbreaking,
Moments
Is when you try to,
Remember someone and you can see,
Everything,
Except their face.

Every future I can see still has you in it,
So why aren't you in my arms?

I am afraid of recovery,
I am afraid of being along,
I am afraid of purging  you from my system,
I am afraid of the two of us never speaking again,
So here I am begging you not to leave things like this,
I am afraid of leaving you behind in my memories,
I am afraid our jokes will disappear,
I am afraid of missing you,
I am afraid of recovery

It wasn't your sharpest knives,
Or mad fighting skills,
That killed me so brutally.

It was the look in your eyes,
And the way your mouth formed the words,
That fell deaf on my ears,
As my heart fractured and fell to pieces:
"I can't do this anymore."

I hear your words
In the howling, screaming wind
Outside my house
And God, the winds are strong tonight.

My heart is torn in two
Over him and over you

He's the standard I'll never reach,
And you're the friend I'll never breach.

Each so unobtainable,
But each can make me smile,

So what am I supposed to do?
But let my heart remain torn for a while.

How long can you
Pretend I dont exist
Until I simply don't?

She dyed her hair
Every time she lost a person,
Her hair has been,
More than 15 colours.

She's got broken things,
Where her heart should be,
Shattered glass from old,
Milk bottles and shiny,
Fragments of CDs she,
Made for the love of her life.
The central ***** was beat,
To a ****** pulp,
And her bones are now,
Made of glass,
So fragile one step might just,
CRACK.
But she seems to,
Keep on going,
Even though the going is quite,
Tough.
Even with bones of ice and,
No heart,
She hasn't had enough.

Perhaps I wasn't made for anyone,
Perhaps I was made to stay alone,
With my thoughts,
And my words,
But perhaps,
On a better side of things,
Perhaps,
I was made for myself.

Your lips are like poison,
But I crave every,
Deadly, killing, tortuous,
drop.

I had long forgotten,
This nervous bumping,
Within my stomach of,
Butterfly wings brushing against,
Hearts, lungs, stomachs.
But he has brought it back,
With the fury of a hurricane,
Sudden, only slightly expected,
But never truly prepared.
Each message is now carefully typed,
Carefully prepared, time decided upon,
Each phone call spent nervously,
Picking at my cuticles until the bleed,
My heart is beating out of my chest,
Every time my phone buzzes.
I forgot for so long,
This giddy revelation,
Of fresh emotions and nervous,
Banter across states.
But, God, oh God,
Am I glad he's brought it back.

I was fooled once,
By the crystal hopes,
Of love and happiness,
I've decided now,
To close shop,
Lest my heart be jested again.
Once had been shame on him,
But fortune had not my favour,
Fooled again, twice it seems,
And I only have myself to shame.

Riding in an airplane,
Is one of the most terrifying,
Yet most beautiful things,
I have ever experienced.
There is something about the
Rumble beneath my legs,
Of the engine's purr.
Something about the lurch into the air,
That moment when you're
Neither on the ground
Nor truly flying.
Beautifying and petrifying.
And when turbulence is hit,
In the tiny Beech1900D,
The continuous jump, jump, jump,
Of my stomach,
Like an unending roller coaster
Only going down hill,
Lets me dance with death,
If only for a moment,
Before our wheels screech,
Against hot, angry tar,
And I can kiss the ground,
Once more

Kissing the ground home
Writing haikus in the air
Long plane rides are done.

If our bones are,
Made of stardust,
Our hearts must,
Be made of something
More.
Perhaps within us,
We each have,
A beating star.

Maybe seeing you in those
dreams
over and over again
Is supposed to mean something
But I don't think
It would mean anything
to you
So, I guess I'll
Just stay quiet.

"God created English so that Shakespeare could be born,"
My English professor told me,
Upon entering class,
But as I sat in my desk,
I mused,
Perhaps God created English,
So that you and I may converse.

The tenants of my heart,
Have so recently been evacuated,
Their departure was abrupt,
And they left much behind.
But my heart is for rent,
I'm opening up the space,
I promise you, you'll be pleased,
There is no better place.
The space is wide and open,
You can paint the walls,
I won't mind.
Make the place your home,
It's safe, it's warm,
The fee is rather small, I swear,
And a simple thing to do,
I will not charge you money to rent,
Out my simple heart,
I only ask that you bring love with,
And please,
Don't tear it apart.