I've lost my smile.
It started when I first lost my baby
Then I got married for all the wrong reasons.
Then I choose to surround myself
with the wrong crowds
while living with my best friend
I let my bad influences cause corruption ruined
the one good thing in my life
continued to pretending that everything was ok
I got tired of their *******
I just wanted to Drown in my sorrows
so after many up and downs
I got the courage to push passed everything
while trying to piece my life back together.
I met someone.
I thought this is the one.
and I was happy.
He broke my spirit.
He shattered my desires.
I still stayed with him after knowing fully well
he's actions towards me;
he's indifference broke my confidence.
I couldn't handle it anymore
I said what I wanted to say.
I chose to stay.
when I shouldn't have ever entered this unstable relationship.
I've been seeing the signs from the beginning.
I chose to ignore them.
thinking he's a good guy!
I didn't realize I was setting my self up again.
I keep damaging myself.
I'm done with dating!
damaged people shouldn't be together.
I thought maybe with him.
I got my smile back
but I just killed myself!
(He did nothing to me personally.
He never hurt me.)
I'm too damaged to even have a relationship
being with him was fun at first
but being with Him showed me all my hidden pain
I'm forced to confront my Mental Health
I'm not in peace.
I'm in a mirage I created.
I was in love with him.
he has broken my trust!
I can't ever trust you once that's broken.
that's one other lesson I've learned.
I feel soulless.
I have zero reasons to smile.
When I'm happy;
When I'm sad;
When I'm angry;
I clench my fist.
But when I'm soulless
I don't have any reaction.
Nothing mends a broken soul
The feeling of giving up
and losing all goals
The constant fear of f*ckingup
and a heart with a gaping hole.
I miss you in my life, at every turn you would be there, ready for me to mumble on about the drama in my life
now that seat is empty where you sat and the hole in my soul is gaping open ever since you left, letting all of the kind words you once spoke to me drift through and disappear into the wind.
The sunset and the last light
The flower and the last bloom
A man and his last fight
To withering and doom
A compass without a needle
A fish without taste to swim
Iron weak and feeble
A man without a dream
Falling down the gutter
Dark and meaningless
Where everything seems to wither
Lives the man soulless
yes soulless is equivalent to dying while still living, similar to a man without any dreams just passing by life
I find no comfort in the tears,
Nor the lasting words of sentiment,
But the funeral precession marches on
And my soul wrenched from its place.
Death claimed them all
Life just turned lifeless
Breath just became breathless
Heart just ended up heartless
Mind just shattered into mindless
Blood just seemed bloodless
Soul just changed soulless
I feel that my soul has left my body.
I am empty.
I feel a soft ache where my heart once beat.
A pressure where my brain used to sit.
I am empty.
A shell without a body.
Without a soul.
Now I wait,
For my body to find its way back.
Hopefully bringing my rejuvenated soul back too.
For now I wait,
Living the nightmares.
Numb and emotionless.
Colors are lost to me.
The living anger,
A soulless shadow.
The world and life