That silly feeling inside,
Bubbly or fluttery?
I can't decide.
It's as if a million butterflies are just there,
Underneath your skin tickling you without a care,
They want you to know that these feelings are rare.
Embrace them don't push them.
Just let them happen.

He feels the same pain that she does
Which makes her feel sad because...
The mask she wears,
he takes off and puts on,
But she sees the cuts behind the sleeve
Along with the smile that everyone believes.

Panic attacks for me are shakey.
I start to think everyone's starring,
I wonder what they're thinking.
My resoloution is to get out.
Then the tears come pouring down.
As they do my body follows.
I sink to the ground and try to hide myself.
The sleeves of my jacket become soaked,
And then my heart feels like it'll explode.
Anxiety is a whole nother code.

She comes over for the night,
She seems to be alright.
I'm not sure if I like her yet,
But that doesn't seem to matter,
She's just that close to my sister.

She started to stay over on school nights,
Something just wasn't right.
Soon enough she never left,
I began to feel like I was being replaced.

I'm not trying to sound selfish,
And no I'm not jealous.
But I am confused,
Why are you telling me this unfortunate news?

She hasn't left for weeks.
I'm sick of being the subject of greed.
I want my family back.
Just tell me that she'll eventually leave.

I'm now starting to feel neglected.
I've been replaced in every way I had imagined.
But you don't seem to see it that way.
I don't think the girl is leaving any time soon.

My little sister, is bright.
My little sister is unique.
My little sister is confident.
My little sister is funny,
But she's a bully.

My little sister is a bully,
I can hear it in her words.
She's someone I would hide from,
If I were in the same school as her.

My little sister is a bully,
But she's still changing.
I think the reason she's so blunt,
Is because she's afraid of being like me.

My little sister is afraid,
She saw me crying everyday.
So she shields herself with words.
It makes me feel like I've ruined her.

My little sister is a fighter,
She is thin but strong.
She's someone I want to be.
Hopefully she's still smiling.

My little sister is depressed.
But her smile is still wide.
She knows not to hide.

It's funny how you lie, because I know it all.
The things that you say behind these walls,
But I won't let you know this, no I will not throw a fit.
Because he'd spit out lines of ignorance all over me.
And our friendship is more important to me than this,
This sweet ignorance.

The pain you've been causing recently to me hurts,
It burns every curve, every slot, it slurs my mind,
Because I've believed in you from the beginning of time.
And to think that you've been laughing,
Praising hate towards me.
I wish I could just wake up, and tell you about this insane dream.

Or maybe I'm the one to blame?
Have I really been acting out as crazed as you say?
Backdooring you as if you weren't anything new,
I can't recall these events in the album of my memories.
Please start pointing them out to me.

I feel as if we are strangers now.
It's breaking into my mind,
I can no longer sleep right at night.
And if I drift away, I wake up with dried tears on my face.
I don't want you to go,
Please stay by my side.
Weren't we bestfriends?
I never thought you'd be the one to make me feel as if I need to run and hide?

But now you are,
and I have to ignore this,
Because if I don't..
There will be ignorance,
Ignorance in the sweetest.
And neither of us need this.
This sweet ignorance.

Crawling in my skin
cringe, cringe, cringe-
it's a meme you dip!

*AyY **** bye!

They stare at you.
They judge you.
They talk about you.
They hurt you.

Why?

Because they're "jealous"
Because they're "abused"
Because they're "hurting"
Because they're mean.

You cry at night,
You want to fight.
But you're scared,
You hate fear.

Your parents ignore you,
Sometimes THEY bully you.
Your siblings laugh at you,
They usually pick on you.

What do you do about this?
Nothing.

If only I could make you feel the pain that you cause me to feel.
Do you not understand that your screams make me feel ill?
I hate that we have no real relationship,
and that you treat me like a slave.

I'm at the point where I want to run away.
It's not like you'd take action after anyways.
You'd probably enjoy the attention you'd recieve,
Take me for granted.. won't you please?

Not only do I feel alone right now,
The people who said they'd be there are finaly slipping out.
That's probably my fault though,
I trusted them too much.

Complaint after complaint.
I shouldn't have told them so much.
I guess that shows to prove that it's really just you in the end.
I've begun to vent here.

It's as if words and rhymes are my only friends.

Close it.

You taught me how to be pro,
It's not like I was ever proficient,
Tibbers goes where he pleases.
But of course you knew that,

You've always been 100 percent-
Cheesey. And because of that,
You sound silly all the time.
Well, okay maybe that's a lie.

But you are a true goof ball.
And I know I'm a dork, but
You catch me when I fall.
And I love that about you.

Shh, that's supposed to be a secret.
Oh yeah, I mean.. it's not like I meant it.
We all know he's an idiot, right?
Wrong. But I won't keep going on.

What am I saying? My words are all over-
The place. Look me straight in the face.
I want you to know that I want to embrace-
You. But I'll give you your space, it's okay.

I don't need it.
My heart is
Complacent.
You are my-

Inspiration.

To land that stun.
You know I will.
We'll get the ****.
Don't say you're done.

We got this Thunder Lord,
Now don't be blunt.
Tell me your opinons,
You know I want to hear em'

Whether it's about past topics,
Or about what I'm writing.
Tell me what you think about-
Anything, just don't get toxic.

I feel like such an idiot because,
My thoughts are masochistic.
I don't know if I should feel-
Embarrassed or desolate.

Maybe scummy is a better word.

I'm walkin' around my neighborhood,
Looking at all the different colors,
It's just that kind of October,
Where everything is pretty,
And it can get kind of chilly,
But that's okay,
I'm wearing my sweater today,

And today,
Is the day that I'm gonna see you again..
And I'm nervous,
But I'll be alright,
I'm just feeling my heart race on the inside,
And regardless of the consequences,
I'll be with you tonight,
I'm seeing you tonight.
In this October chill,
We'll feel all the right feels.

I see little kids over across the street,
They kind of remind me of how we use to be,
When we were young,
And life goes on,
And even though it gets scary,
Growing up and all,
We have eachother through the fall.

And today,
Is the day that I'm gonna see you again..
And I'm nervous,
But I'll be alright,
I'm just feeling my heart race on the inside,
And regardless of the consequences,
I'll be with you tonight,
I'm seeing you tonight.
In this October chill,
We'll feel all the right feels.

Would you shut up for five seconds?
I wish I could say this to your face,
But you'd demolish my feelings.
Lecture me about my age.

I don't have to grow up yet.
Better yet, I refuse to.
Age is just a number to me.
I ignore your opinions, I have my own views.

The arguments are so agitating.
Why can't you just love me unconditionally?
Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
We are family, aren't we?

It's burning my insides.
Turning around my life.
I'm crying now every night.
Denying that we're right.
Please tell me you need me tonight.
This ****** isn't leaving me anytime.

Your ability to cheer me up is impeccable.
What's more incredible is your beautiful smile.
How do you always grasp my attention so easily?
It's like your inside the air that I'm breathing.

I feel naive wondering if I even stand a chance?
Thinking about you sometimes puts me in a trance.
I can't help but point out that it's completely in vain,
Have you noticed this, or am I just going insane?

And I hope that you can forgive me for shutting you out.
I never really meant to, it was because of my doubts.
Doubts that you'd do that to me at some point I mean,
It's happened so many times that I've become apprehensive.

Afraid; anxious.

When you look in the mirror,
You see a girl with a fear,
A girl with a mask,
and a task to take you down,
whenever she gets the chance,
Cause she knows you'd be a nail,
and she'd be the hammer,
she slams you down,
and makes you cry,
She's hurting your feelings,
and you expect to make it through the night!?

Lost in your mind,
you have thoughts that make you cry,
but when I sing this lullaby,
your heart slows down and your tears go dry,
you're lost in time,
you never meant to lie,
you're tears go dry,
when I sing this lullaby...

Lay down your fate,
Set that ***** into her place,
she's going out of line,
and she does it all the time,
but you're done,
you're sick of it,
and you wanna break it up,
but she opens her mouth and toughins up!
and just as you're ready,
to knock her to the floor,
Your feet break lose and you run for the door!

Lost in your mind,
you have thoughts that make you cry,
but when I sing this lullaby,
your heart slows down and your tears go dry,
you're lost in time,
you never meant to lie,
you're tears go dry,
when I sing this lullaby...

Then you're walking down the hall,
when you feel your feet stop,
as her hand meets the touch,
on your shoulder,
her hand pulls you closer,
you shover her,
you kick her,
you run away after,
she lays on the floor a total disaster,
and you sing!

I'm lost in my mind,
I have thoughts that make me cry,
but when you sing this lullaby,
my heart slows down and my tears go dry,
I'm lost in time,
I never meant to lie,
My tears go dry,
when you sing this lullaby..

Drowning,
My heart is pounding.
Drowning,
I haven't been able to sleep soundly.
Drowning,
I'm afraid that hate has found me.
Because I'm drowning in the depths of this terrifying reality you've made for me.

"QUIT."
"QUIT."
"QUIT!"

Is all that I can think!

Quit stomping!
You're creating unwanted anxiety.
Why are you walking so harshly!?
Are you, maybe, angry?
I don't want to know.

My nephew notices nearly everything around
he says saaad cooorn! because the corn outside
has now turned brown.

He knows a few colors that consist of yellow, red,
purple and green.. he likes to read and sometimes he'll sing.

My little nephew is getting too big..
He's at the age just before monsters
are under his bed,
I don't want him to experience that yet.

But someday he just might, and that's okay
we all grow up eventually.

As she walks through the doors,
So confused and afraid.
She takes a deep breath,
and reminds herself,
Just what to say.

She knows that she can make it,
right through the day.
But she's still afraid,
That they'll see her..

And she knows that they hate her.

Once she gets up the stairs,
She swears her heart is screaming.
She can feel her lungs pulsating,
She's thinking about running out.

But she knows they'd all see her,
So she keeps on walking along.

People just don't understand that my scars are part of what make me who I am,
I may have created them out of foolishness,
but they were debated over agony in the purist.
You may look at me differently because of them,
and of course I understand that,
they are not what make me pretty, nor friendly.
But they remind me that I am not always correct about everything.
They remind me that pain is real.
That I can feel whatever I want to feel in this insane world,
and even though I did make them myself,
I can remember the pain that was felt that in fact inspired them.

and now late at night when the silence creeps in,
I cannot sleep because I remember back then.
and the pain that you dealt may have been done in secret,
but either way you knew that I would hear it, and I will not say a word of hate towards you,
because we were small people in the middle of the sea.
And when I look down I have a constant reminder of that,
but I am stonger now, because of all the tears you caused me to cry.
I will stand taller now, because of your cruelties towards me.
I'll know not to cry next time.
Because in that situation it made things worse.

Is it wrong to feel mistreated?
To never be accepted?
I believe there's something wrong,
and I'm trying to stay strong.
But I'm not sure if I can deal with this anymore or any less.

You were the pomegranate nail polish
I wore yesterday but have wiped off today.
I'm ready for everything to finally change
without you I'll be rearranged; in a better
state of mind, with you I was wasting my time.

Pink and said to be mean
Your tentacles tend to scare me
You're often alone, are you lonely?
Drymonema larsoni... don't worry
We can be friends, just don't sting me..

Native to the Mediterranean, Caribbean, and The Gulf of Mexico..
Searching for Moon Jellies and feasting once they're found
They wrap their tentacles around- them and drag them in
What a cruel fate? you may think that but we do the same thing.

Is something you called me once.
Is it so bad that I thought it was-
Adorable as ****? I hope it's not,
Because that sure would ****.

We use to be closer,
I wish that we still were.
But you and I are in-
different, time-zones that is.

My self confidence has lowered,
Since we've become distanced.
It's true Thunder Lord,
Do you fear my existence?

I wonder if you do.
While you're up top,
Being ******-Dooby-Doo!
You know I have no clue.

I'm gig- gig- giggling so hard,
Right now. Who knew that this,
Scrub Lord could be such a clown?
I guess I knew, somewhere deep down.

I feel pretty silly writing all of this now.
After all you've labeld me.
Which I've done to you as well.
But it sure as hell wasn't easy.

I wrote this kind of fast.
Using memories from,
The past. A past that
Includes you in the cast.

I hope you don't mind me,
Spilling all of this out now.
I just didn't know how to say-
This stuff, it's kind of sacred.

Like a cow is to someone who-
Believes in Hinduism. Oh man,
I feel like I'm crossing some lines,
So I'll finish up, just give me time.

But it is true,
I do miss you.
And I wonder,
If you miss me to.

I don't care about what's happened.
Really, it's in the past now.
And I don't go there that often.
Just when I need to remember something.

So tell me ol' Voli?
Am I still your Annie?
I am being so cheesey.
Just say you'll support me.

And I promise I'll carry-
You.

You say you'll send me away.
But I don't care, what you say.
I won't believe in it.
I won't believe in it.
I am my own person.
I know what I'm doing,
So why don't you be quiet,
and just let me live.

You people can be so strict.
I hate this house that I'm living in.
Sometimes I lose my cool and tend to
throw a fit..
But you can't tell me what to believe,
I have my own mind, and it's free.
Even if you send me away,
I swear up and down to stay the same

You say you'll send me away.
But I don't care, what you say.
I won't believe in it.
I won't believe in it.
I am my own person.
I know what I'm doing,
So why don't you be quiet,
and just let me live.

You can keep telling me,
that I'm acting like a fool.
But that doesn't mean I'll
change my ways,
Just for you.
So stop telling me that I'll lose.

You say you'll send me away.
But I don't care, what you say.
I won't believe in it.
I won't believe in it.
I am my own person.
I know what I'm doing,
So why don't you be quiet,
and just let me live.

I have problems.
I can't sleep at night and,
no one's really ever here for me.
Or at least it feels that way.

I mean, isn't that right? In the end it's just you.
Doesn't matter how many friends you tend to cling to,
Because the waves of reality are always shifting,
No matter what the tendency.
My parents ignore me,
and my friends avoid me,
Am I really the only one who feels this way?
It's as if I have to strain to sleep now a days.
Because so many problems stray in my mind,
I wish I could somehow change the time.

But that's not my choice,
I've been placed here inevitably,
The space I have to breathe intoxicates me.
I'm so sick of being here most days.

I dream rather often about running away.
My parents must be blind,
to not realise how stressful the way that act toward me can be.

It's saddening, right?
I'm afraid to be alone.
I don't know how to be.
But when I am surrounded.
I tend to grab my bags and flee.
I'm so tired.. of this war,
Inside of my distressed mind.
Don't tell me to love,
Then have me run.
I want a forever.
Despite the pain that I caused.
It makes me feel selfish.
I was wrong.

When will we say goodbye*
The thought brings tears to my eyes.
I look down at the top of my now soaked shoes.
It's raining outside, and I'm thinking of you.
My heart can't stress enough the love I once felt,
But now I have to go prepare for this drought.
It'll be tough but I'll pull through,
I can only hope that you will too.

It's been a day or maybe a few,
That I haven't heard from you.
It's not exactly depressing yet,
But I know I'll cry soon, and get-
Cold sweats.

It's not like you'd care,
You don't give a ****.
I'm just sort of there,
To you, I'm throwing a fit.

And you say I have no right to.
Well what did you expect me to do-
When you're telling people such hyperbole?
Your mispresentations have flustered me.

I've never met someone so treacherous.
I trusted you and you put on a display,
Which I must say was completely impetuous.
Where did you come up with such nonsense?

I guess I never meant anything to you,
I feel like I was just a fill in for others.
Others whom you actually befriended,
Or maybe they're just like me.

Discovering that you're really a bully.
An emotionally abusive person.

I am the girl you never see,
I wonder why you don't notice me.
I hear my heart scream everytime you push me down,
I see my own blood as my tears fall down.
I want you to accept me,
I am the girl you never see.

Heart sinking.
Lips trembling.
Tears falling.
Thoughts crumbling.

Friends happy.
Parents crazy.
Siblings laughing.
You crying.

Heart ache.
Lips shake.
Tears soak.
Thoughts loath.

Eyes tired,
Mind fired.
Life is quiet,
Feelings riot.