i wake up
in my head,
but i don’t
I just lay
I used to have an obsession with candles.
Their soft yellow glow shimmering in the air,
Their heat melting the surrounding wax,
Their wicks, a lengthy fuse waiting to be terminated;
Their glow shining upon the surrounding area.
They comforted me, like a distressed mother
Holding tight to her kin during a hostile tempest.
They flicker so,
In the still air moving to and fro.
Ill stand and brave the weather
If it means we can be together.
The wetter the better
I will never discover
Hide under the covers
To discover the wonder.
All these things I did
You just seemed to miss
Everything that was bliss
Is now so amiss
All the time spent growing
Has begun slowing
You mustve felt like you were towing me
But that was because of my broken knee
That you caused
Yet you wouldn't pause
To get the gauze
You just left me
Its so distressing
Tried to keep the relationship alive but she only focused on what I did wrong. never what I did right.
It really is unfair that I entrench you in despise
But looking in your eyes it's just not cutting through all the lies
The lies I tell myself so I can get by feeling alone
All the ******* time
I'm only reflecting how you make me feel
Difference is mines with itnention while your is innocent still.
The only way I see this isn't through my eyes
But crying everytime I see
Something which you can't make mine
Mine is home
Mine is love
Mine is the effort you got to despite all above.
But the word forget has froze you still
Stuck in care and sweetness
But passion and lust need to be separated my love.
Every time I get to see your bright smile
It makes my heart glow with hundreds of happy lights
I wish I was able to spend more time in your presence
Sometimes miss your laugh on quiet nights
And even when we have not talked in weeks
I do not feel distressed, down, or blue
The warming touch of memory
Brings back all the things I love about you
One,two,three.. day after day.
All just to keep this artificial smile on display.
Days drag out and the little stars that twinkled in our eyes now replaced by black holes.
Our soulless bodies sinking like broken bottles in the ocean.
The happy memories that haunted our minds nearly gone, the goosebumps we got when we remembered our first kiss are no more. Bodies numb.
This feeling,this curse; inevitable.
Every child born after condemned to a lifetime of synthetic happiness.
In capsules of sea foam green,and custard yellow. To be taken like our favorite candy.
The amount being consumed will become ungodly leaving hollowed shells and the walls to talk to.
Only the last glimmer of light in your pretty little head can save you.
Every emotion colliding like a kaleidescope of color.
The thoughts of him,thoughts of her.
Another simulation complete.
i feel anxious
well i'm not too sure.
i feel like i'm constantly being dragged in every direction,
the stars are plucking at my hair like strings.
and my mind- it seems to wander,
goes anywhere else but where i need it to be.
i will never understand why my feet forget how to walk sometimes,
no they're not judging the way you walk-
well, now, maybe.
i'm not breathing that loudly- stop it you know how to breathe,
now you can't catch your breath.
i will never understand why my eyes flicker to find people who i assume are looking or thinking about me.
no one cares.
so why do i?
Why is it you choose to only yell at me
How come when Something goes wrong Im the only one your blind eyes can see
I mean ya it was me but only to a certain degree
You talk to them
but to me u act beastly
You say I can talk freely
But then stop me in my tracks saying u disagree
You throw my will around like a frisbee
And when I react you say "woah calm down love take a knee"
You love to preach how I can be "anything I wanna be"
Yet when I tell you
you act as if your the referee
Calling me back to reality
You cook me on the stove like I'm a panini
And yes that maybe have been a hyperbole
But It's like I'm trying to live my life without a short coming
And your killing me slowly
ur like a H.I.V
In fact it feels like I'm throwing a party
But you don't like it so ur knocking on my door like ur the l.a.p.d
I'm Tryna rid u of my life a.s.ap
But I mean hey ur my parents and I'm and only fifteen
Broke, hungry, and a dry tongue.
Who knew life would attack you this young?
Ripped sweater and freezing cold.
You can't grab a blanket cause it had to be sold.
For water and food.
Tired and sad is your only mood.
Why can't the world be a bit more kinder?
She could be in a cardboard box and no one would mind her.
Holding a little hand with nothing to say.
Because of the cruel world, they may take that little hand away.
Our world is ******, and the system is broken.
But who cares as long as the rich get a gold token.
Who cares, it's only a few.
who cares as long as it's not you .
I don't want to kick the hornets nest
But I am felling quit depressed
And begaining to get awful distressed
There is things I need to express
Because my chest is really compressed
I know it's from all the stress
It will be hard for you to digest
But I have to get this off my chest
This problem must be addressed
I think it is for the best
That all of it is confessed
I know after I tell you, me you'll detest
But maybe that's for the best
Oooh never mind
I'll just keep these hornets in their hive
And stay in the shadows and hide