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I wonder if he's thinking of me
As much I'm thinking of him

I wonder if he still sees the sparkle in me
Like I still see the sparkle in him

Does he miss me?
Because I truly miss him
People make me insane.

People keep me sane.

Got it?
Get it?

Good.
#confused #people
It always hugs me
In a warm loving embrace
I love my blanket
The land in my head
That I visit before bed

Is as intense
As flaming red

If only I could linger
In the land in my head

The one that I go to
Before bed

Where everything is perfect
And hope is not dead

I would be happy
If to stay in my head

but for now in these moments
Before I sleep

When it falls upon the time
I feel I should weep

My red land fades
into the deep

Because I'm drifting
Slowly to sleep
There are times,
When I want to be alone,
And it's not anyone's fault.

But even well intentioned words,
That kind touches,
Turns into static.

And it feels as though a wall
Is separating me from everything else,
Filled with mist and fog.

If Feeling and Emotion are colors,
Then this thing is Grey.
Faded. Muffled.

Not invisible,
But washed-out.


When I am in that place,
There is nowhere else, nothing but this,
And there never will be.

But eventually,
It passes.


Sometimes it takes DAYS,
Sometimes HOURS,
But the wall DISAPPEARS.

The fog melts away,
The gray pulls backwards...
And I am myself again.
This man taught me everything,
That I needed to know,
But I never really listened,
I thought I knew it all.

He gave me love,
Even when I really didn't want it,
And he touched my life,
In a way I cannot describe.

He taught me right from wrong,
And I can honestly say,
The day he left,
I wasn't that strong.

I felt like there was no more fire,
To ignite anymore,
That the darkness won,
Over my inner light.

He will be missed dearly,
Because he made a mark,
On all of our hearts,
His name written in permanent ink.

For all those times I left it unsaid,
I want to thank him.
Thank him for being there for me,
For being patient even when I made it difficult.

It's hard to believe,
That he is gone now,
Somewhere where I cannot reach,
But I am certain I will meet him again in Heaven.

Because when tomorrow starts without him,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time I think of him,
He's right here in my heart.
My dad was only 45 or so when he died. He died on June 25, 2015 because of a car accident. This is what I read at his funeral.
 Jul 2015 CloudDreamer
haley
Everyone leaves, you hear people say it but do you really understand it?
Everyone that is in your life will go away
I am fifteen years old and I know this
I find that depressing
As a teenager you're supposed to be crazy and fall in love
And have the ability to believe in miracles and happily ever after
Well I don't
I am a teenager who understands that love is temporary
Don't trick yourself into believing in forever because forever will end
You think he will stay just because he promised he would
Well promises are just words
I was foolish enough to believe in words until I realized that everyone is full of ****
I am fifteen years old and I am done believing
Believing that you will end up with the prince
Because I know the prince will just ***** you over
Promises turn into lies, hello turns to goodbye
And love, well it dies
What do you do when you give everything to love
And love comes around and destroys you
How can something so beautiful become so ugly
I am fifteen years old I am scared of ghosts and I am scared of love
I am afraid to give my heart to someone because they could break it
They could tear me into a million pieces and destroy everything I am
The boy I love could simply leave just because he feels like it
Love is dangerous
But of course I want love
I want kissing and cuddling and having someone there for me no matter what
I think that is beautiful
What I don't want is the heartbreak because he changed his mind
I don't need more sleepless nights and I sure as hell don't  need more pain
I need love, everyone does but I can't have love
Because I am afraid and fear is a powerful thing
I am afraid of ghosts so I don't watch scary movies, and I stay away from all things paranormal
I am afraid of love, so I don't let my feelings control me and I push people away because there's always a chance something could happen
Something beautiful and perfect like those red roses on Valentines Day
But the roses die,
There colors change from red to black
The beautiful perfect things turn into your worst nightmares
Love turns to hate and your happy ending slowly fades
I am fifteen years old and I am terrified of love
I fought against the rising waves,
Trying to keep my head above the water,
Refusing to let myself drown,
I used up every ounce of will I had,
And pulled myself out of hopelessness.

I couldn't stand,
But somehow I found a way,
Lighting the darkest tunnel with light,
Painting the world with my hope,
Using the brightest colors to live my dream.

I never thought I could be broken,
Molded into the perfect tool,
To destroy others,
The same time I was destroying myself,
Turning the paintbrush into a weapon of steel.

Determination flowing in my veins,
I never thought I'd lose it all,
I started with so much,
Only to end empty-handed,
The fallen darkness too much to bear.

No way to fight the insanity,
I've pushed myself far past the limit,
My determination ****** my energy dry,
And I can no longer fight what's ahead,
I already know I've lost the war.

I find the pain in paint,
Even the simplest things can be complicated,
the most colorful things can be found colorless,
The most mended things can be called broken,
In this twisted excuse of reality.
I can't help but wonder
If I was made for something different
To influence someone else,
Instead of the people around me.

What if I was made for so much more
Than tearing others down.
But I just ended up
Born somewhere I wasn't meant to be.

I feel like I'm here on accident,
That the reason I don't fit in,
Is because I'm not supposed to.
I clash so much with others.

I'm fighting with myself,
And the situation I've been put in.
Frustrated, angry,
Wondering if it's fair.

If only I had been born where I was supposed to,
Miles away from here,
Interacting with different people,
To find my true potential.

Instead I'm stuck here,
In a life that I don't fit in,
Becoming a black sheep among the white,
The catalyst that makes things different.
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