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SummertimeLace Mar 2017
You know what?
At this point I'm doing it for me
Because I know
No matter how much I succeed
You will always find a fault

You know what?
I'm done
I'm done doing this for you
I'm done living in fear
Of you

I'm done going out of the house
With bruises and scrapes,
Not physical ones of course
Because once you hit me in the face
And that almost put you in jail
Your place,
But bruises and scrapes on my soul

Every foul word you utter
Pounds into me like golf ball sized hail
Every sacrilegious rant is like your fingers
Digging into me with fingernails
Every glare is spit in my face

So I'm no longer going to care about this place
I am going to suceed and fly far away
From your razor wire cage
Because as much as you want to keep me as your pretty little pet
Unlike your husband
You haven't clipped my wings yet!

And you never will
Because in a year
When I fly away
I will never come back

Because I have never needed you
And your ****
You can rot in hell
You controlling *****
SummertimeLace Mar 2017
I didn't want to fall in love
Or need someone
I really didn't want anything.
But then you appeared
And I started wanting everything
SummertimeLace Feb 2017
My heart is heavy with sin
But I don't want to confess

Though it weighs me down
I somehow feel like I'm less

Better lost than to be found
Not  good way to feel ever always confess God will forgive anything
SummertimeLace Feb 2017
Her
The apples of her smiling face
Shine like fresh dew drops on a spring morning
Light emits from her eyes
Like twinkling stars in the dusky night
Her lashes surround her bright eyes
Like sprays of wild flowers
They flutter as she laughs
And her laugh
Oh her laugh!
Melodic and sweet
Fills her with warnth
From her head to her feet
And whenever she comes near
Glowing
And full of light like the sun
You can't help but love her
Full of gaiety and fun
Her whole being is like
A fresh breath of spring
Lily Lande
My light
Always shining
SummertimeLace Feb 2017
People lack good mirrors
Everybody has a mirror
That we look at ourselves with
And use to show others how we see them
But they are never accurate

Our mirrors are clouded in
Stereotypes
Cracked with
Labels
And shrouded with the grime of
Fear
Making the original picture
Very unclear  

You
My friend
Have only seen a poor reflection of who I really am

You think I’m the smart girl who always raises her hand in class
Whose hair and clothes are always somehow slightly
Disheveled
Out of place

You’re sure I’m exclusive
Because you see me spending all my time and energy on only my friends

You believe I’m nice
But in just a “hi how are you” kind of way
Not in a truly sincere way
Impersonal

You imagine that I don’t have any trouble at all
Expressing
a thought
or emotion
That I’m confident
and always know what I’m doing

But really, despite what you think you see,
I’m actually
Quite different
From your reflection of me

I am not always so smart.

I haven't understood math since third grade
PEMDAS???
Nope
Nada
And the tragic truth is that without spell check
Eye wood problie spel lyke thiss

I also own a hairbrush

And can clean up quite nicely
I just like the lived in look
I’m totally not lazy
I just... uhh
Never mind
Who am I kidding?
The truth behind my bedraggled appearance,
Is that I would much rather sleep in than get up early to
curl my hair or pick out clothes that are not from my floor

I appear exclusive

because I only talk to certain people
But I am actually just really shy
Meeting new people scares me
It feels like every time I’m going to say something to a stranger
I always imagine how it could go wrong
And I stay silent
You wouldn’t know unless you asked though
Because when I am around my friends
I.
Never.
Shut.
Up.
And my reflection is chatty and animated

Some days my confidence is so low
I just want to        into the floor  
                     sink
And I even have trouble telling my closest friends how I feel sometimes
I get all balled up and closed

In the end I know our mirrors are inaccurate
But if the way we see ourselves and view others
is always warped by our mirrors
Clouded in  
Stereotypes
Cracked with
Labels
And shrouded with the grime of
Fear
Making the original picture
Very unclear  
Then can anyone realy be truly understood
Or is the way one views everything all just an illusion?
SummertimeLace Feb 2017
Don't be scared to look my way
Even though somehow,
I'm afraid to look yours

please try to talk to me
Even though every time you get close to me
I end up tongue tied

Ask me questions
Even if my answer is weird

Pull as I push away

Scale the wall
Built around my heart

Love me enough
To chase me
To catch me
Even if I run away

Soon
I promise you
I will look your way
I will smile at you
I will even talk to you

If you ever catch me
Pull me
And I will follow
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