Instead of dousing you with water
My kisses made your ocean drier
And my touches only set you on fire

You said my words felt like sharp ice
Sounded like an orchestra of lies
But I swear they weren't meant
To sound like goodbyes

On the highway of dreams
I drove but didn't mean to crash
Memories of glitter turning to ash
The grasped infinity disappearing in a flash

I am a poison, your favorite brand
Another inch lost on your life's strand
Forgive me my love
But I can never let go of your hand

My touches excite you, I know
Your heart beats harder behind brittle bars
But they exacerbate your old scars
And make your lips crave cigars

I vowed to pamper you like a queen
Let you bask in a life so pristine
I apologize for bearing thorns
You shouldn't be searching for morphine

My lips are void of mendacity
You speak words immersed in asperity
I only wish to bring your heart placidity
But dear, I'm failing immensely

I'm on my knees but I don't pray
Your aligned stars, now in disarray
Rainbows in your eyes are turning gray
Why do you still ask me to stay?

He disappears
But never leaves

He shuts the door
But never locks it

He watches you fly
But never lets you soar

He makes you sing
But not finish the song

He only whispers
But never falls silent

He lets you breathe
But never releases the chokehold

Captivating, conspicuously charming
A fragrance so enthralling
Bewitching the senses
Enticing the unfocused soul

Hypnotizing, hardly hypnagogic
Such unparalleled grace
A peculiar dancer
Coaxing the mind to perplexity

Anodyne, aberrant anesthesia
Resembling an ethereal angel
A touch appealing to tame flames
Surreptitiously gathering fuel

Sacrosanct, superficially sacred
Donned with deceptive modesty
An ambiguous spark
Threatening to begin a wildfire

Efflorescing, escaping encumbrance
Soon, a firm grasp on freedom
The freedom so prematurely served
Too early to be maximized

Incantations, whisper incantations
Silence the demented demons
An unconventional ritual
To fortify the continence
Ebbing continence
Another attempt made
Stall the impending debauchery
Enunciation is needed -
Esurience is never innate, but provoked

Almond eyes that reflected wonders
Wonders shrouded by secretive lids
An observer's curiosity
Natural hunger for new discoveries
Turns into susceptibility
Mysterious orbs that captivates
Soon imprisons the observer
And scrutinizes every fiber, depth
Every inch of the said existence
Then it targets the soul
It bares the vulnerable soul
Of all its grandiose
Of all its mendacity
Of all the masks that ever concealed its true identity
Every scar, gingerly uncovered
Every tear, pellucidly explained
And for once, tables have been turned
The discoverer, the explorer
Was the one discovered
The one exhaustively explored

What is mighty and great
Is feeble, and the high
Is merely just a low, and I
Was left as an unsightly mess

After a stupendous tsunami
Of amalgamated emotions

Has entirely devoured me in a

Fleeting second; loud sirens
Wish not to exacerbate
But to hinder the havoc
That will surely occur
Once the growing desire
To finally liberate what

Has been kept and hidden;
The mind defiantly refuses to

Heed warnings, for a maelstrom
Of rejection compared to
That of regret that is so sheer
Is a far better choice

And for this reason I

Fervently wish that I will
Be given the opportunity so I
Can go beyond just a spark
And then commence a wildfire

For now I am a mess in misery
As I wait for the stars to
Align, and the shackles to bid adieu

A lady out of the ordinary
For she was courted by the sun
Wooed by the moon
And pursued by the stars
But she chose to
Make love to the earth

I received a query that grasped my attention
A certain query that induced me to ponder
To recall the yesterdays and the yesternights
Why don’t you write as much, someone wonders

The curious fellow deems my works lovely
And went another mile to call me, the poet, just the same
Similarly, I pause to ask myself
Are lethargic hands and an uninspired heart to blame?

I say no and I disprove this idea
Never have I ceased to write all this time
I’ve adapted various methods and materials
I’ve learned that words and verses are not prime

Now, I deliver metaphors directly from my fingertips
My every touch is a verse, every breath is a poetic line
I carve words on wood, on the fleeting breeze, on warm skin
My works are now cherished moments I entwine

Threads out of smiles and laughter, I weave into blankets
The comfort i turn to in days with somber frigid weather
My lingering gazes are poems unconventionally spoken
To write about desire is abortive, to feel the burn is better

A moment with another is an extemporaneous collaboration
My friends and lover are writers in their own right
Whether amateur or sophisticated, they create poetry
I conceal pens and papers lest they flee in fright

So you see, I have never stopped composing
I've been writing in ways the eyes might not see
I’m a breathing vessel of born and unborn literary creations
A writer with a penchant for a form called free

Dear Ana
Bid me adieu
In your arms, you hold
The heart you abhor
Set me free
From incessant misery

Fireworks splattered across the copious firmament
But no sparks erupted in the crevasses of my arteries
Deafening screams and clamorous cheers shook the night
But the gentle wind whispered no promises
There were flames, colossal flames
But the arctic frost still blanketed my ribs
And there was smoke, every contact produced smoke
But fire hasn't kissed the gaps between my knuckles

There was everything
In everything, there was nothing
And in nothingness, I breathe.

In nothingness, I clutch the sheets.

Billows arise and the roar resonates
Vivid scarlets desiring to dance
Gazes morphing into perilous spears
Irises directed at the delicate lifeline
Another, take another deep breath
Hush your throaty screams
Tighten the shackles of your demons

Oblivion is the pit of this ravine
And I'm holding onto a feeble vine for dear life
You screamed, "Don't let go!"
My hands are losing its grip
Then you toss me a knife

Nowhere is the destination of this path
Still, I'm trying to find the right way
You said, "Don't get lost!"
My vision becomes hazy and unfocused
Then you give me the broken compass of yesterday

Pain is the entity waiting on the other side
I sink my feet deeper onto the floor
You whispered, "Don't leave me alone."
My fingers no longer hold the keys
Then I see you opening the door

You are every song
I wished I could sing
But I'm out of breath

I apologize
You were a decimated book
That I promised to renew
But as I kissed your lips
And caressed your face
In the most gentle way I could
More pages were torn and shredded

I apologize
You were the pouring rain
And I loved feeling raindrops
On my skin
But as you shower me
With your words, emotions, fears
I seek for shelter in haste

I apologize
You were a neglected garden
I strayed from my home's path
And I saw you
I told you I would be back
Help you regain your life
But I forgot where you are

I apologize
You were the twinkling stars
Even your slightest smile
Illuminated the black sky
But my eyes were transfixed
On the cracks of my ceiling
I can't look at you anymore

I apologize
You were both gems and pearls
My filthy, rough hands
Have dared to touch you, love you
I said I will take care of you
But old habits die hard
I keep breaking you

Mic test, mic test
One, two, three
Is my voice loud enough?
Can you hear me?
I'm not on my knees
Or pressing my palms together
This is not defiance
I just need some answers

When you let your light
Grace your created earth
Does it reach everyone
Or some are chosen at birth?
Speak of equality
I say it's nonexistent
Most are kissing the ground
Few are caressing the firmament

Whenever you shower blessings
Are they equally scattered?
Do you favor specific locations
Or it depends on how much one gathers?
Some are drowning in pleasure
Many have none in life
Do you prefer disguising gifts
As series of unimaginable strife?

I am cognizant of your omnipotence
Omniscience and omnipresence too
But why are there times
That I barely feel you?
Who is at fault?
Please give me a clue
My question seems too insolent and accusing
I'm sorry, I'll just continue

I imagine you watching my life
In a wide movie screen
An ongoing extemporaneous show
In every episode, all is seen
Are you the writer
Of my unfinished story?
I bet you're thinking
That my actions are appalling and unsatisfactory

I haven't spoken to you in a while
And you do know I'm not busy
Now I talk to you again
Hoping you'd answer me
Please don't get me wrong
I still remain as your child
But lately, I cannot deny
My thoughts have been running wild

And the hand of the clock ticks
In a metronomic beat
Every second is counted
Another moment passes
Eyes searching around the area
An effort to ascertain
If the expected has come
A bathe of disappointment
Is the welcoming arms
The waiting continues

Speak to me of your daily whims
Of your recurring nightmares
Of your vague dreams
Of your subdued thoughts

Speak to me of the blinding sunlight
Of the watchful moon
Of the loquacious stars
Of the mendacious night sky

Speak to me of the blossoming flowers
Of the condescending trees
Of the dainty birds
Of the cool breeze

Speak to me of unsung novels
Of the rejected songs
Of the smashed guitars
Of the obnoxious trumpets

Speak to me of your distant memories
Of your hopeless aspirations
Of your unappreciated efforts
Of your seemingly insignificant presence

Speak to me of taboo perspectives
Of shunned personalities
Of existing gods
Of modern society

Speak to me of the inexplicable suffering
Of your death desires
Of your unheard cries
Of your weakening heart

Speak to me of unending love
Of blazing flames
Of transient emotions
Of eternal scars

Speak.
Speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Speak to me of anything.
I need to hear your voice.
The silence is unsettling.

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
For I am a poet, my dear
If only a simple, but heartfelt "yes"
Is what you would like to hear

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
If your deep brown eyes are lovely
I'll say they're luminous stars,
During my nights, they shine impeccably

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
If your smiles are charming
I'll say they're arcs of polychromatic colors
Stretched across blue skies, breathtaking

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
If your hair is just fine,
I'll say they're thin tails of wandering comets
Fascinating, plainly divine

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
If your dress looks okay
I'll say you're a glass of ice cold water
And I've been thirsty for this entire summer day

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
If I'll still hold your rough hand
Darling, can an average human like me
Resist a touch so grand?

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
After one, five, ten, twenty-five years time
I'll say that whatever my eyes descry
Will be defining sublime

Don't ask me if you're beautiful
You're in love with a poet, my dear
Simple answers are not what I'd give
A mere "yes" is not just what you'd hear

Irked by the stale life I am in
A bland dish seeking ample spice
The intersection of our roads was exhilarating
A new-born daredevil shall not think twice

Perilous was the color of your eyes
The way your gaze froze me in place
Flames previously nonexistent began to rise
And desires now asked to feel my embrace

Dangerous was the shade of your plump lips
When you speak, the way they curve
Electric bolts pierced through my fingertips
Then infiltrated my every vein, every nerve

Treacherous was the sound of your voice
The way curses became a pleasing melody
A single syllable balked all perturbing noise
Enticing me into your wicked sorcery

Lethal was how you skillfully kiss
The way it sets ablaze the surface it meets
My formation of thoughts have gone amiss
The settling insanity is now who greets

Murderous was your hand's every touch
The way your fingers danced on my skin
Dull-looking blades were deemed to do not much
But yours were sharp enough to slice my soul within

Pestilent was how you wrapped yourself around my body
The way your frame is fitted to mine
Tremendous waves devour me completely
And I drown, though not in brine

Deadly was how you wanted to play
The way you wanted to love me
From my ever-so-monotonous life, I have gone astray
My life is the price; I'll pay it fully

The old music box your beloved grandmother
Gave you for your seventh birthday
Starts to play some melody again
But the tunes are discordant, unfamiliar

The story book you first learn to read
Are now on your hands again
You begin to carefully flip the pages
But the plot is now different, unfamiliar

The letters your previous lover had sent you
Lurk underneath your tidy bed
Reminiscing while you read them again
But the words are changed, unfamiliar

The house you have dwelled in
For so many days, months, years
You enter through the door so casually
But the interior looks foreign, unfamiliar

The road you always take
Whenever you stroll and ponder
Leads you to the same quiet place
But the scenery is different, unfamiliar


The words your mother told you
Numerous reminders to keep yourself safe
She repeats them all over again
But her voice sounds pretentious, unfamiliar

The mirror leaning against the wall in your room
Beckons you to stand before it
You see yourself through the reflection
But your face is not yours, unfamiliar

From two fiery souls, a being was yielded
With their ambitious love, it must be guided
Whose young soul, at birth, pranced at the brink of death
God heard his wish, granting the infant another breath

As the time went on and went by
The same star was the brightest in his sky
Riches do not kiss her feet
But his arms, more comfortable than the finest sheets

He was her protector, her shield, her warrior
She was his princess; To no one, she was inferior
On his shoulders, she stood on top of the world
All was perfect 'til the petals unfurled

She fell off from a bicycle and bruised her knees
He treated her wounds but ignored her pleas
The once loving embraces felt like a cage
Under his gaze, she was a prey on center stage

Goodnight kisses were no longer pure
His warm embrace, no longer secure
What used to be affectionate, now shaky and warm
Eyes that shone with love, now projects harm

Harm to the corporal being, to the efflorescing soul
To sleep at ease, she cannot be cajoled
At days, perturbed; at nights, in fear
She trembles and frets, her fright is sheer

Hands that swept hair away from her face
Left imprints on her skin one can never erase
Lips that pressed kisses on her forehead
Became the source of her every day dread

A princess' skin felt like filthy rugs
Her responses to concern were countless shrugs
Now every time she sees her warrior
Relief vanishes, she is filled with terror

She remained silent, hoped for a change
All done in vain, the protector is deranged
Indulged himself, appeasing carnal hunger
Drowning her in nightmares that will forever linger

No more time for beautiful dreams
For she's awakened by lascivious schemes
The following morning, his lips are stretched to a smile
Forgetting the night, the flower that was defiled

With much courage, the straight road became curved
She took the wheel and hastily swerved
The voice has been found and it finally speaks
A stoppage on his abhorred streak

Knees on the ground, he recites a contrition
The usual alibis, but his own rendition
For so many years, she lived in misery
Mere apologies cannot suffice for clemency

From this point, she can never get far
Why dress her with fabrics of adulterated scars?
I was your princess, your brightest star, remember?
Why did you forget, my dear father?

Howling winds and angry skies
Restrained emotions freed through huge raindrops
Soft whimpers and unheard lullabies
A heart's quivering that never stops

Closed windows, but the curtains dance
A cacophonous song filling the mind
Vague silhouettes under a trance
Demons trying to unwind

Silence reigns, time stands still
Never close your eyes
An extemporaneous show, not a single drill
Yesterday is the last sunrise

A veil of darkness on the sky
Soft tapping of raindrops
Cool air dancing around the room
Synchronized falling and rising of chests
Harmonious sound of coupled breathing
Figures desperate for proximity
A shroud for added warmth
Dreams interlaced in a common paradise
Hearts calmly beating side by side



And I'm still waiting for that night.

Shadows
No longer mere figures following me
Developing minds of their own
They seek liberation from the commands of my feet
To fully manipulate me

Roads
Morphs into labyrinths before my eyes
Entrapping me into the darkness
Its unceasing modification disorients me severely
A thriving attempt to hold me captive

Stars
Lose their jaunty sparkle in the tenebrous sky
Turning into prying eyes whose gazes burn my skin
They observe me like a peculiar specimen
I am not alone

Songs
Begin to sound discordant to my ears
Reverberating vociferously across my room
Strident tunes thwack my skull mercilessly
Unable to think

Mind
Fails to function properly
Unhinging the helpless one
Its thoughts are chaotic, and in shambles
Another man is lost

I am a but a simple poet
A mere poet who is madly in love
Who had always aspired to write
The most beautiful poem

And that poem
I envision it to contain
Hundreds of adjectives
Describing beauty
Thousands of metaphors
Expressing desire to kiss soft lips
Millions of words
Of which, every single one
A pellucid manifestation
Of emotions I laboriously subdued
Within the confines of my chest
It shall include rhymes
Mellifluous tunes that pleasures the ears
Plus lines and verses
Embodying the flames of love

Then realization strikes me violently
Such concept will not produce
What is greatly desired
But I, a simple poet
Still has written the most beautiful poem
To ever exist
And it is written like this:



You.

Desperately
I
Seek and
Try to find
A way to be
Nearer
Closer to you
Each day

Unexpectedly
You caught my attention.
And slowly
You captured my whole entity.
My confused mind and heart ask
How could mere and simple admiration,
Make me mindlessly promise you eternity?

Your entire self draws me, attracts me
Entices me, binds me wholly
Trapping me into a world
I find truly in disarray yet undeniably impeccable.
Needy, languid
My shaking voice cries out to you vociferously.
I am completely yours but you will never be mine
Utterly impossible.

Affection, undivided attention
Things that I vehemently desire for.
Your eyes are like shooting stars
And I am waiting for it to befall on me.
In this loathed reality
I know none can be asked of more
Perhaps, my hopeful heart’s wish
Will forever remain in my dismal fantasy.

I am captivated by her raven orbs
And I get lost in her unfathomable irises
Only to be reminded of your blinding sunshines
Your resplendent flares replacing her curled lashes

In her charming smiles, I remember your bliss
Her blood red lips evoke memories long dismissed

I listen to her faint footsteps on the midnight sidewalk
It resembles the solemn rhythm of your pulse
And I succumb into the wildfire that she is
But it is your warmth that still lingers on my skin

While she admires the breathtaking moonlight
I remember how our constellation adorned my dark nights

Mundane eyes dwell in my sockets
The pair has watched hundreds of monochrome sunsets
But an image of her is a burst of vivid colors
Eliciting excitement in my gray heart

But at the sight of her colors, there is you
Your faded portraits obstruct the new

I struggle how to begin this speech
But reaching the end is effortless
Words disappear on the surface of my lips
The incarcerated refuse the offer of egress

Hands of the returning past asphyxiate me
Quiescent emotions abandon their state of ease
I hear myself implore for oxygen
But I wonder- have I asked for the grip's release?

Rain pours from the tenebrous sky
The wind roars and the waters rise
I swim to the deepest trench to obtain silence
But the orchestra of yesterday rejects demise

Clips of the blissful days flash behind my lids
The warmth you provided ghosts around my frame
But reminders of your egotism thwack my head
I recall how I was played like a cheap game

For so long, I thought I didn't lie
But then I realize, ostentatious smiles adorn my face
For numerous times, I denied it
But now I claw the sheets, dismissing lessons of grace

Incinerated portraits resurface on my bedroom walls
Your shade of scarlet agony replaces my bright hues
And I'm torn, I'm completely torn
Like the love letters I've written to dispel your blues

I still want you, darling
I still want you despite all the agony
I'm a paradoxical being
I want you, but I abhor acquaintance with clemency

I cannot love you
You, a poet like me
For I fear your poetry
As much as I fear mine

Words will flow inevitably
The current is impossible to defy
The current we shall not defy
Because we live to write and we write to live

Time will be spent not through creating memories
But by attempts to create impeccable metaphors
And instead of holding each other's hand
We'd be gripping pens for dear life

There would be smiles and laughter
But more of screams and groans
Out of frustration, of exasperation
We live to write and we write to live

I foresee a competition, commencing unannounced
After making love, we shall draw our swords out
Joined by passionate fire, now we shall turn away
And  make each other bleed each other's name

Your eyes are the moon illuminating my night
My smile is a hundred suns on your vast sky
Our love shall be immortalized in words
But our hearts shall be left in ruins

For your scarlet wildfires will contest my sky blue ice
And my apathetic ice will envelop your vivacious seas
Your enraged seas will swallow my tranquil lands
And my ambitious lands will reach your unreachable skies

We will spew verses and scribble stanzas some more
Crumple countless papers and waste bottles of ink
Our grandiloquence is what brought us together
But our different styles would escort us to the end

We are poets, we do what poets do best
Poets may love but poets are made to write
We live to write and we write to live
We shall not live for each other and let each other live

Once upon a time, the sunrise evoked unfathomable bliss
Now the eyes have become pensive and all it sees is the somber sunset
And once upon a time, soft kisses on skin from raindrops were loved
But all that is left is the memories of destruction left by thunderstorms

Honeyed declarations sauntered into your ears like a beautiful symphony
Displays of affections were like picturesque art preserved in the finest museums
Once upon a time, their combination was nothing but sublime
Until the words dissipated and all turned to ashes

Jovial tunes congested the thin still air
The orchestra had a heart and the heart was an orchestra
Once upon a time there was an influx of songs
But now all that remains is redundance, redundance of chords, lachrymose chords

Once upon a time, poems were spring flowers sprouting from the healthy earth
Once upon a time, pens bled profusely and ink etched the unspoken on alabaster papers
But the earth has gone dry, and the ink has gone dry
Despite all the tears, all has gone dry

So much were at hand
Now there is none
What used to be a thousand
Has become one

Bore a pair of wings to fly
Settled on a pair of feet
There were words and rhymes
Now just blank sheets

Summer days and spring mornings have gone
Every leaf has fallen from its parent tree
Homes are now blanketed with thick ivory snow
Under this pitch-black sky, I stood alone
Nothing but the wind's breeze as my company

I stood alone; I have always stood alone

Miles, I have travelled and many faces, I have descried
I walked on different lands but to no avail
Summer nights and spring mornings passed
Snowy nights and the sight of falling leaves I have seen

Under this pitch-black sky, alone, I still stood alone

Mysterious orbs, enthralling eyes
Lovely hands feared by demise
With a touch that turns tumult to ease
Each gentle caress calms infuriated seas

Raven locks soft against fingertips
Fetching curves on a pair of rosy lips
A voice mellifluous like an angel's, divine
A smile more radiant than a ray of sunshine

Every movement manifests innate grace
The light at the end of a tenebrous maze
The embodiment of one's romantic dreams,
But my hands are about to rip your elation's seams

You are perfect - perfectly flawed
An act the audience would barely applaud
Tongue soaked in a well of profanities
A lacerated soul plotting atrocities

Tousled hair, pernicious hands
Your sanity gallops on feeble strands
Frivolous antics deem you ignominious
But how you handle agony is stupendous

Perhaps it is why he is utterly enamored
Hymns of love in his mind sauntered
Your presence drives away his blues
You fit impeccably as his muse

From a distance, a scenic perfection
I spew no confession but unadulterated admiration
Lucky is he who holds your heart
I am but a spectator awaiting the story's subsequent part

You basked in the roars of vociferous thunder
I found serenity at the hour of sunrise
I ensured that my paragraphs are justified
It was your habit to plagiarize
The ambition to soar the sky was mine
But you dwell on the offered comfort by the land
I saw you dive into the depth of the sea
While I chose to build castles with sand
I admired the sun and you courted the moon
The stars were witnesses of the amorous affair
You clad yourself in the most expensive garments
But before you, you commanded me to be bare
And I have been called foolish uncountable times
I have gone insane and have lost my mind
But heed, I did not - and I continued to love
Until I saw the bed empty and wished I was blind

One, two, three, two, five, seven
Rhythmless feet clad in branded shoes
Adventurous, brazen fingers strolling on wide, voluptuous stalks
Towering sunflowers with wide, voluptuous stalks
Pristine dandelions enticing pairs of hands
Pristine dandelions enticing my pair of hands
And I give in, and I willingly give in
Summer petals weaken the gullible heart
The summer petals abandon the gullible heart
One, two, three, two, five, seven
Rhythmless feet now bare
Adventurous, brazen fingers now dormant

One, two, four, six, eight, ten
Rhythmless feet clad in cheap shoes
Curious fingers strolling on wide, voluptuous stalks
Towering white daisies with wide, voluptuous stalks
Pristine dandelions spring once more
Pristine dandelions enticing my pair of hands
And I give in, yet again I give in
Winter petals capture the derelict heart
The winter petals emulate mirrors after caressing the ramshackle heart
One, two, four, six, eight, ten
Rhythmless feet once again bare, now calloused
Curious fingers now cautious

One, two, two, two, two, two
Rhythmless feet hesitating to be covered
Vacillating fingers mapping the wide, voluptuous stalks
Pristine dandelions surface once more
Pristine dandelions displaying subtle coquetry
And I stall, for heaven's sake, I stall
Fall petals demonstrate its desire to the heart
The fall petals fall but the bitter heart hangs on a silk thread
One, two, two, two, two, two
Rhythmless feet discovers a rhythm
A rhythm so unpleasant, so abhorrent
Vacillating fingers now curl
Curl into the palm in resistance

Listen. I'm not silent.
In fact, I'm immensely talkative.
I have a loud mind that produces battalions of statements daily.

I am talkative.

Words egress from my lips like rivers flowing to vast seas.
I speak of my aspirations, dreams, and visions for the future.
I brag about my strengths and feats that I have achieved.
I impart my knowledge and discoveries to the curious.

I am not silent.

I share my experiences and learnings to elicit self-reflection.
I exclaim my inspirations and interests with much enthusiasm.

I was never silent.

I admit my weaknesses, insecurities, and fears with difficulties.
I enumerate my quirks and oddities despite hesitating.
I disclose my secrets and sins that marred me.

Why do you call me silent?

I elaborate my thoughts and my whims on the spot.
I sing my favorite rhymes, lullabies, and songs that are more than just mellifluous melodies.

How can you call me silent?

I utter peculiar lines and cryptic metaphors in varying tones.
I narrate stories of friendships, love, romance, and passion in diverse forms.
I spit verses of hatred, greed, atrocity, and apathy with vehemence.
I scream what's taboo, ******, unconventional, and abhorrent unabashedly.

There is absolutely no space in my mouth for silence.
I am not silent and my lips are not closed.
Your eyes are just covered, and you do not know how and when to listen.

I stare at the mirror and spew profanities at myself
It is utterly unbelievable that I am in such a state
Resisting the urge to grab the nearest pen and paper
And let the ebony ink stain the alabaster surface

Hundreds of days have passed since I've sworn to the skies
I've sworn to the skies that I will never again write
I've sworn that I will never again waste words on you
I will never again waste any sort of figure of speech on you

But sharp nails are piercing through my palms
The only relief for the exacerbating pain
Is making your name bleed through a pen's tip
******* it

I abhor how feeble I am against it
I abhor how feeble I am when it comes to you
I paraded the streets with such a cocky, domineering gait
But after all this time, I remain a slave of the past

I was a slave willing to sink on my knees for you
I still remain a slave, but now a slave with a mind
A slave who knows what's the best for himself
A slave embracing the freedom but glancing back at the binding shackles

I curse at myself in front of the mirror
Because after all this time, you can still put me in a trance
Your eyes still looked the same, breathtaking
And the beauty of your smile still captivates me

I slam my fist on the mirror as I curse myself
And curse myself yet again for cursing you but struggling
Struggling as I painstakingly swallow words of love
Words of love that I had for you, that I still have for you

Yet again I slam my fist against the broken mirror
It's a self-reminder about the fate of my heart in your hands
You have delicate hands with a penchant for destruction
It's the perfect time for you to meet your match
How I wish your heart ends up like mine

I wish that your smiles turn into hot tears
And that his affectionate words turn into sugary guillotine
I wish that his feverish kisses burn your fair skin
And I wish his every whisper of promise will dissipate into thin air

But I know that even if your heart breaks
Your suffering will not heal my wounds
Know that I do not wish for you to return to my arms
And as I sink down onto the ground
As my bare knees press against the shattered glass
I wish for you to hear me:

I just don't want to suffer alone.

They rush to pull the blankets off and wake me up
When all I wanted was to just stay in bed
Let my exhausted body replenish its energy
But they say I did nothing yesterday
I did not do any sort of strenuous activity yesterday
Or the other day before that
But isn't trying to convince yourself that everything's alright
Considered as one?

All I hear is greetings and wishes
In different joyous tunes paired with hugs and kisses
I force my lips to stretch in a smile
Feign gratitude and fake excitement for this day
But in all honesty I'd like to go back to sleep
Though my dreams will transform into nightmares
The voices of the tiny demons in my head disappear

They sing me songs with so much glee
I hear my mother exclaim it's time to celebrate another year
Or was it my father's voice?
I'm perplexed as I try to figure out which
So many faces, so many lips and voices
How I wish for silence to dawn on this house
How I wish for silence to dawn on me

My grandmother brings out a tray
There lies a round mass of gustatory paradise
My mouth doesn't water like how it did during the past years
She places candles on its surface and lights them up
A rush of envy runs through my veins
Grandma, light me up instead

I close my eyes like they all say I should do
Fervently pray and make wishes without bounds
I feel lost for I don't know what to ask for
But when my vision is engulfed by darkness
I find myself wishing for peace
Please, I'd like to have inner peace

I open my eyes and huge grins are what I see
Everyone waits for me to blow the candles
I stand here to please the audience
So I lean towards that rounded object
I take a deep breath and my heart whispers another wish
Let me be these candles
I'd like to feel the heat of being alive even once
Then rob it all from me
I still wish for peace
Please allow me to go back to sleep

I stand in front of my family
And feel like I'm in front of a large crowd
I'm glad that I don't need to do an extemporaneous speech
A pretentious smile is enough for them
Because the thoughts in my head are in a tumult
There's also a certain heavy feeling in my chest
I couldn't quite describe even if I tried and it just won't leave
Now it's pulling my tongue back and I can't speak

On our usually empty table lies food aplenty
Nothing special, nothing grand
It's just the same every year
I stare at the banquet offered in front of me
And my system screams of starvation
However, I do not exactly know what I'm craving
I fill my mouth, taste every dish
But I know the fullness of my stomach would not suffice

My mother serves me a plate of pasta
She wears this proud grin and it's the widest she can muster
I twirl my fork and watch in awe
The pasta resembles how my insides twist at this very moment
And the other moments when I'm asked what's wrong
Or when I'm asked why I act like I do
I absentmindedly shove it all in my mouth
Because sometimes silence is the best answer I could give
And mother said it's rude to speak when your mouth is full

I pour myself a glass of iced tea
And I struggle as I do so for my hands are quivering
I congratulate myself for not spilling it, for not making a mess
Maybe I should congratulate myself too and pat my back
For I've been subduing my tears well, not letting them spill
The barriers on my eyelids are crumbling though
So I'll take another drink and blink for them to be reconstructed

To them it's a blissful celebration
But I'm about to faint from suffocation
Questions have grown hands and I feel its roughness on my neck
Inquisitive stares turned to chains which now constrict my chest
Again I wish to lie on my bed and sleep
But it's time for celebration, or so my mother told me

King of the vast lands is he
For uncountable times he fell down
Laborious is to stand tall and proud
For many times, the ground kissed his crown

It is he who basks on the throne
The epitome of greatness and power
But for the army dwelling behind his lids
Never was he the commander

Single-handedly built his grand castle
Every brick is a dismal memory
Deserted hallways, desolate rooms
Visitors have been banned entry

But one day, his towers littered with fire canons
Shall be utilized for descrying the starry night
And through the cracks on the colossal walls
The sun shall penetrate him with light

Fabrics gone, all we are is perceivably bare
Clad only in conspicuous licentious flare
Every kiss delivers quakes on the planes of my frame
Your every touch sets my skin aflame
Your words and whispers are bewitching spells
Expelling continent thoughts that in my head dwells
Each ****** sends me a hundred miles closer to the sky
Each stroke deliberately guiding me to fly
And once our souls finally amalgamate
Lines on your palms lead me to the gates
A place where there's only blissful demise
The gates, the entry to carnal paradise

When the poet loves, the poet gives birth
The poet reigns over the vast lands of the earth
As the love grows, the poet conquers all the seas
With ink-stained hands, the poet shapes galaxies

A poet in love crowns a special muse
His ocean of inspirations, the poet's mind on a cruise
Hands grow exhausted, crumpled papers accumulate
Verbal perfection, the poet seeks to create

The poet sings, lyrics morph into his beloved's name
Eyes descry a lovely face, metaphors embody a frame
With mellifluous words, the poet builds a pedestal
Through his poetic verses, his beloved turns immortal

The air the poet breathes, the radiant sun in the sky
The joy at Christmas Eve, fireworks during 4th of July
Furious storms, calming breeze, devastating earthquakes
The beloved adapts any form, whatever the poet makes

Resplendent rainbows insipid compared to corporal curves
Art erupting from pens, embellishing what eyes observe
From vivacious mornings to sleepless nights
The beloved is everything - everything, the poet writes

But on a daily basis, the poet wages into an inconspicuous war
A pen as his reliable sword, stacks of papers hide every scar
A war of incarcerated words, of subdued emotions
Even the most trivial move can shatter the crystal elation

The poet writes when in bliss, all the more when morose
Describing through flowery words, the beauty in an overdose
The beloved's candle-like fingers transmogrify to perilous daggers
Affectionate lips emulate a whirlpool at the heart of ocean waters

The poet seeks the tranquil blue in a bed of scarlet flames
Ears hearing strident chains of profanities as endearing names
And the poet still loves, never ceases to write
Exacerbation of the rational mind and melodramatic heart's fight

The sun conflagrates the flesh, moon freezes the core
Billows that used to dance vehemently washes the poet ashore
A hand grips a pen tighter and writes some more
Words of today vociferously emerging from yesterday's door

When the poet loves, the poet gives birth
His love reigns over the vast lands of his earth
Then it blinds the poet's sight, defiles the poet's ink
His own words are the music as he dances on the brink

You sent my quiescent heart into a beating frenzy
A then lifeless ***** pumped itself back to life
It continues to beat at this very hour - relentless, restless
However every drop of sincere love is now replaced
It bangs against my constricting ribs, fueled by paroxysmal fury
I still find it difficult to breathe

No other melody equated your mellifluous voice
Every syllable that waltzed its way out of your lips enamored my soul
Now it turned to vexing noise that perturbs the tunnels of my ears
You are a song that does not belong in my playlist
Reverberating whispers haunt the hallways of my being
The hallways that you abandoned

Your name is etched on every wall of my mind
Its letters cavorted on the vacant space, owned the space
Each wall began to disintegrate now as your sobriquets induce cracks
Saccharine endearments quake the foundations of my sanity
But my castle of thoughts will not collapse
Commencing exhaustive repairs to extract you out of my life

Picturesque moments framed in my museum of memories
Images of your smile, of your enchanting eyes - all on display
How I wish you can watch me bathe the museum in gasoline now
The lofty flames will bring the light back in my insipid eyes
You were so quick to leave, shaming athletes on a race
Incinerating all to ash, witness how the wrathful flames emulate your pace

Grateful for every unbecoming scar
A soul extricated from restricting bars
Brief was the time, yet the journey reached far
Now standing upright like a timeless cedar


Raven shadows metamorphose into glorious colors
Lips curve into a radiant arc that even the sun adores
Found are the lost keys to rusty locks sealing doors
Sail the dauntless waves and leave the dismal shore

Life's greatest teacher indeed is experience
Resume painting the abandoned dream sequence
The image of a catastrophe's aftermath meeting evanescence
View life with exuberance through a new pair of lens

Elegant necklaces never hugged her soft neck
Fingers were never adorned by fancy rings
A crown never rested on top of her hand
But, regal was she

A frame which never nestled on a velvet throne
Hands never touched a sacred scepter
The finest fabrics never worshipped her skin
But, regal was she

Her feet never walked on a grand castle
Never had the servants, soldiers, countrymen bowed in her presence
A name never honored by anyone
But, regal was she

Dressed in homely clothes
Immaculate beauty concealed by the dark
An existence made from gold
She was the queen of my heart



If they only knew.

It has been so long
The same voice had sung a thousand songs
Each day a battle to remain strong
Standing on the right side, but all feels wrong

Precarious wants, dubious desires
Trembling feet crossing a string of quagmires
I danced, but never on a stage made of wires
My need for certainty is indubitably dire

Call for help only from a trusted friend
Shattered glass hearts are difficult to mend
A soul that espoused strolls pressured to ride the trend
Gravel and sand are known to never blend

Instruments thirsty for power play harmonious notes
Imperious waves swallowing quiescent boats
Wails and screams incarcerated in throats
Every motion a command from shrouded remotes

I wish to find the nearest escape
Be free to embody my envisioned shape
I will sketch and color my preferred landscape
But these self-proclaimed kings hunger for another grape

Little girls, little boys
Candy canes and flashy toys
A soft call, an enticing treat
Two obedient little feet
A huge smile, an invitation
A fun adventure to damnation
Restricted visions, muffled cries
Sugar bricks leading to demise