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svdgrl Jan 2016
Somewhere along the long stretching lines
of misogyny and misunderstanding,
******* and child-******* became
false-terms that were accepted by the masses
to describe small exploited human beings,
survivors.
and **** became a title boys and men aspired
to achieve, and not quite directly the
selfish manipulative sociopathic ****
that it really entailed.
Thank you, Curtis Jackson.
In case no one has screamed it enough,
It's January 2016 folks.
Let's place ourselves in some perspective.
The stories are never just one,
but I'm getting angry and I'm fortunate
enough to be able to speak.
I've got privileges that need to be checked,
too.
Let's check off the privilege that I haven't been abducted
or coerced at 12 by he who claimed that I was wise beyond my years,
and plucked out of my family to do his bidding
under the guise of a mature relationship.
He's 26, but all I can see is the fact I could be older
than the other girls. An old soul in a small pre-pubescent body.
Which is what they tell you to make you feel special.
Let's check off the privilege that
I'm not given those funny feeling drugs to help me
cope with pain of losing my "virginity" to a high-rolling old man
who was fond of his size.
Let's check off the privilege
that even if I do manage to escape the slavery that I'm put in,
I'm labeled as a *** and used up and too ****** up to really be better,
by both my family and my peers
You don't have to cover your ears and eyes,
because you think you can't see me.
You think I'm over seas or in some true detective podunk village
in middle America.
You think I'm not in your school-yard or
I wasn't the girl you teased for being pregnant in middle school,
the one that disappeared and never came back.
That I might not be your troubled niece who keeps hanging with the wrong crowd and going to boarding school this summer,
but she runs away from home before she's sent off.
But we keep blaming *** education, welfare and alternative schooling as the bane of our children,
all these ads for awareness and underfunded programs to aid them
are quickly shoveled under the thick heavy expensive rugs of the Kardashians and Wests,
the golden globes and the best dressed,
and those horrendous child beauty pageants.
Let's stop absorbing this filler material that we shovel into our
kids brains,
and maybe teach our little boys what it means to be privileged,
and to protect by learning to respect.
Our little girls how far they can reach if they learn to never second guess their worth.
It begins with us. Let's stop turning a blind-eye and shut ear,
because we fear making a commitment to the belief
that men and women should be equal.
That yes, not all men,
but yes there are women,
and our experience is not the only story that needs to be understood.
And everyone has a privilege that needs to be checked,
but check your own first.
January is human-trafficking and slavery awareness month.
It exists among us, all.
Let's stop being part of the problem and learn how we can help.
10.8k · Aug 2014
Alcohol (10w)
svdgrl Aug 2014
Elixir for the weak-
minded.
Excuse me for the cheek.
9.5k · Apr 2014
Rodent Attention
svdgrl Apr 2014
The night storm washed up infant squirrels at my doorstep.
One by one, they crawled inside, their heads too heavy to hold up high.
I watched them paw at the carpet, their tongues searching.
Their claws find your sweater, within it they scamper,
they are hungry.
They rumble by my stomach, and poke their faces out of your collar.
To stop their crying, I feed them raisins, and we look to you for more.
But they see your eyes are meant for your thoughts alone,
and fall off my skin and out of your clothing.
The squirrels have grown up, and yearn for expanse.
That's okay hon, I’ll return them to the forest
first thing tomorrow morning.
7.7k · May 2014
Self love (10w)
svdgrl May 2014
I'm getting myself back
she is behind your broken mirror.
7.3k · Sep 2014
Ignorance
svdgrl Sep 2014
Ignore the itch you can't scratch deep in the palm of your hand.
Ignore the morning alarms, just sleep right through them.
Ignore the sound of the coffee bubbling over, let it spill.
Ignore the toothpaste stain on your new shirt.
Ignore the voicemail notification, who listens to them anyway?
Ignore the mailman at the mailbox, he didn't really say hello.
Ignore the stare of the drunk man in your lobby.
Ignore the morning brigade of children running behind you.
Ignore the damage your heels are doing to your feet.
Ignore the whistle from the man half your height.
Ignore the traffic light, the cars are going the other way.
Ignore the loud honk from the trucker as he speeds off.
Ignore the liquor store, and the desire to take a shot.
Ignore the "Baby let me talk to you," from the **** wannabe.
Ignore the text message, don't let them know you have a phone number.
Ignore the cigarette smoke invading your lungs.
Ignore the baby boy getting slapped by his mother.
Ignore the bakery with the tres leches cake you like.
Ignore the bank, you're probably broke.
Ignore the homeless woman, she just wants to buy drugs.
Ignore the Facebook notification, just another ALS challenge.
Ignore the time, you're at work early.
Ignore the habits, listen to your conscience and speak loudly and clearly.
You are so much more than ignorant.
svdgrl Apr 2014
He's out of bed
and out of sight.
I lay with my back turned
to the night.
The sheets still warm,
I hold the loss.
It isn't sleep
if his feet don't toss.
When your sleep partner has restless legs, it becomes a lullaby almost.
6.4k · Apr 2014
Captain Comfort
svdgrl Apr 2014
coated with cushions
fall asleep anywhere
without a single care or worry
wish i knew your secret
Captain Comfort.
everything comes easily
easy to withdraw
easy to release
who cares the least?
Captain Comfort.
i wanna feel what it's like
to be in that soft skin
forgetting what is in
forgetting everything
Captain Comfort.
in your own life boat
is there space for me?
or would it only be
discomfort?
6.0k · Apr 2014
Morning Snuggle
svdgrl Apr 2014
Today, we woke again,
nestled
in our sheets and covers.
Our limbs were tangled
with utmost comfort in
Our usual, beautiful,
morning snuggle.
Sometimes, I fear
that I will be taken in our dreams,
and I won't wake to hear
your parted-lips-and-nose-rumbles.
But today, we woke again,
clinging
in each other's arms for warmth,
Our sleepy stares struggle,
to stay open in
Our usual, beautiful,
morning snuggle.
And I know
that this is exactly how
I'd like to wake again
tomorrow.
in Our usual, beautiful,
morning snuggle.
Today makes six months with the love of my life. This is for him. :)
5.6k · Jul 2014
Pearl
svdgrl Jul 2014
I wonder about the pearl
that sits in her pocket
preciously hidden
like a photo in a locket.
I wonder what it means
when it gets to be seen.
Does it hide in fear?
Fragile
in need of protection.
Or is it very present-
at risk of detection.
Embarrassing reveal-
so tucked away and sealed.
I wonder about the pearl
I wish to steal.
5.6k · Jan 2015
Patience for the Impatient
svdgrl Jan 2015
I wake up every morning clutching my reserve
like you clutch your smartphone,
pleading with it in a whisper,
*"Please don't die on me."
4.7k · Jan 2015
Unsinned 2: Sloth
svdgrl Jan 2015
I lift my head ever so slightly,
snuggle back in.
When do we ever really owe ourselves?
And what?
Respect? A second chance?
Slumber is what we deprive ourselves,
or make bed-ridden with guilt,
when we should rejoice.
I am at peace when the phone is unimportant,
and I forget the day of the week.
Hell, this poem was perhaps my biggest feat.
But I'll tell you more, once I get some more sleep.
4.6k · Apr 2014
Sand Castle Blues
svdgrl Apr 2014
Summertime sands scorch in between our bare toes,
the waves soak them cold and moist like a dog nose.
Let's build a strange castle in the shape of a heart.
Adore it, attempt to perfect it, pose for pictures.
We like to dig our fingers deep into its center.
If we press too hard, it crumbles, and we have to fix it better.
But we like to dig our fingers deep into its center.
We press too hard, it crumbles, and we can't fix it better.
It's getting late, the sun is low, the breeze chills our bones.
Tide is climbing back to us, and we've got to go home.
We've left our sweaters with our mothers
who disappeared like our shoes.
Pygmalions sans Venus blessing,
making love building blues.
4.4k · Aug 2014
Camp Greenhouse
svdgrl Aug 2014
Let's pull those knees close,
and think of childhood.
We were fragile beings of light.
Now we're heavy black glasshouses
throwing skipping rocks in the dark.
I wish I went to sleep-away camp,
like all the cool kids.
I could skip rocks,
and learn slip knots,
and maybe how to swim.
Sit by campfire
and tell scary stories,
and spill my first kiss
as the truth in a guts game.
"It was third grade.
She was a ******* girl-
and we wanted to practice
for our shared boy crush.
Baby tongues danced
and I just liked it more than I should have."
And then someone would
douse the flames
with a bucket of lake water,
to put an end to the horror.
Today she's having a baby,
and we haven't spoken
since grade school.
I wonder if she ever reads my poetry.
The kids would have teased me.
Or perhaps never believe me.
The holes keep getting bigger.
They let the light in from outside.
Let's let our knees go.
4.4k · May 2014
Practice Voodoo
svdgrl May 2014
You carve a doll out of wax and curse it with voodoo.
Candles in the sun burn with her soft skin.
Oh, she is hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
But you don't want them to know-
the pleasure of watching her melt.
You think she was stolen
and passed around,
so you stick nails in her heart.
Pity takes your soul and the bit of it
you put into her hole.
Plugged with metal against your wall.
Hold a lighter to her chest.
Bleed her out.
Keep her hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
Don't leave your toys out again.
Practice voodoo every day.
You imagine
her nose growing,
her eye glowing
with malice.
Hold the lighter to her face.
She's lost her head.
She still has lovely legs
part them to taste fear.
Don't want her to run away.
Hold the lighter to her feet.
Her tummy rumbles
with lust.
Silence it.
Leave her hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
Voodoo master
but what good are you?
You own nothing but wax puddles.
4.4k · Sep 2014
The cynical(10w)
svdgrl Sep 2014
Casting judgement with your chuckles and snarls,
Is first nature.
4.4k · May 2015
Bugger off
svdgrl May 2015
Business men pick their noses in trains.
They think no one sees them but I haven't forgotten
the many hands that they shake.
4.2k · Apr 2014
Hot Showers
svdgrl Apr 2014
I like to take hot showers.
I spend hours standing in place,
with the heavy strings of wet heat beating down my face to my feet.
Soothing. Sometimes I’m brooding,
but this eludes once I meet quietude.
A hot shower is a forgiving mother’s embrace,
liquid form of sweetest praise,
and the warmest lover’s lace.
A hot shower will wash me clean of your ways.
4.1k · Feb 2015
Mckiernans
svdgrl Feb 2015
A gathering of familiar faces,
better left forgotten.
We're all still in the same places,
drinking ourselves rotten.
4.1k · Apr 2014
Stranger's Paranoia
svdgrl Apr 2014
Today, I accidentally spoke to a stranger.
Seated at the round table with my laptop,
I stared at a couple speaking my language.
He caught me looking, and seemed confused.
I was embarrassed for staring
so I explained, "I understood them-
there aren't many other speakers that I know,"
and quickly looked back down.
And the feeling of regret welled up inside me.
It was far too late.
I can see him staring at me, now.
Burning holes into the back of my screen.
For a second I thought he might have been mute.
Why stare at me so hard without uttering a word?
I'm not wearing anything particularly interesting.
He must know that I see him in my peripherals.
What if he really is mute?
Maybe he needs some help?
Should I look up? I can't.
Why not? Because that would mean
I'd have to speak more.
You shouldn't have spoken at all.
I was embarrassed for staring.
He should be embarrassed for staring, too.
I hope I didn't "speak his language."
He probably isn't even looking at you.
We're the only ones at this table.
He keeps looking up from his book.
Maybe if I look at him quickly I'll know if he's looking
at the empty billboard behind me instead.
I just looked up.
He's looking at me.
And not a word was exchanged.
Now this is that much more awkward,
I'll never look up again.
I'll just pack my things.
And never speak to strangers again.
But wait...
what if he knows me?
What if he's waiting for me to recognize him?
I don't know him, I'm sure.
He won't stop staring.
I close my laptop
and see my motley stickers.
Some with writing, some with pictures.
Sigh of relief.
Just my stickers.
I'd look, too.
Packed it away
and went to class.
How silly was I, just then?
But I still won't speak to strangers, again.
What if he knew I wrote this poem about him? What if he can read minds? I hope he never finds this.
4.1k · Jul 2014
Frank Ocean (10w)
svdgrl Jul 2014
Someday I will meet you-
and probably be sadly disappointed.
boat spillage
4.0k · Aug 2014
Pun Friday (10w)
svdgrl Aug 2014
I know the spark that left me.
It shocked everyone.
3.9k · Jan 2015
Produce
svdgrl Jan 2015
Chop. Chop. Chop.
The colors of the pepper
scatter on woodgrain.
They sit next to the diced onion
that I cut blind-
Chop
with my face turned to the door.
Those are next to the once big trees of broccoli-
Chop
now small flowers,
and there's a potent pile of garlic-
Chop
ready to be thrown into a shallow pit of heat-
the olive oil is sizzling.
Stop.
Listen to sound of produce.
Go!
Don't let the smoke rise too far-
the noses will come visit
and take your dinner away.
That's okay...
**I wasn't hungry anyway.
3.6k · Jan 2015
You don't deserve it
svdgrl Jan 2015
I tell you I missed you,
you press your lips together in silence-
as if admitting that you felt the same
would result in the loss of your voice,
forever.
3.6k · May 2014
To be reborn
svdgrl May 2014
I heard a woman singing in the car,
about being reborn as a peacock for Krishna
so that she could sit in beautiful penance for him.
While watching whizzing morning work trucks,
and beat-up corollas and motion blur,
I thought of you in the stillness of sleep.

If I were to be reborn I'd like to be a bird as well
so that I could provide the down in your pillow,
and be cushion to your carousel crown
But then I would be lonely when you go to work.

If I were to be reborn, I'd like to be your sunglasses,
so that I could protect your squinting eyes,
and live by your lushest lashes.
But then you'd lock me away in a case, and I won't be able to see you.

If I were to be reborn, I'd be a bracelet made of magic beads,
so that I could promise health around your often pained wrists,
and fix the freedom in your fiery fingers.
But then you'll probably lose me, or unstring me accidentally with time.

If I were to be reborn, I'd like to be your favorite puppy,
so that I could pacify your inner turmoils.
and be held by your human hands.
But then you'll possibly outlive me, and I wish to watch you grow.

If I were to be reborn, I'd be lonely, locked away, left, lost, and outlived-
so I'd rather stay in this life with all of my privileges
of providing, protecting, promising and pacifying
as your lucky lover.
3.4k · Apr 2014
Titles
svdgrl Apr 2014
All of those identities that end in "t" and "r" and "n,"
make us feel god awful and self-conscious.
Singer, artist, writer, musician, mortician, poet.
Who entitles us to use them?

And it's true, your voice touches in between my shoulders,
and melts to the bottom of my stomach when you croon,
but you don't find yourself an apt enough player of the voice box.

And sure, painting the reasons why I woke from your dream,
might seem like I'm an artist, but I rather just say...
I enjoy painting.

And right, we like to etch words into books and alchemize
the desire to question into stories,
but we're just fans of reading.

And you know, when the air cradles the harmonies of your guitar
like newborn unicorns, I want to point and claim,
though you think you know too little to call yourself musician.

And yes, the way we lay our bodies to sleep every night sometimes hopeful we don't rise again,
is much like how we treat our desire to declare ourselves,
but that makes us only those who give the dead away.

And of course, my blood courses in order to stitch and weave worded thoughts like these together,
because they lighten our concerns and brighten our better qualities,
so of course,
yes,
I know,
Right,
Sure,
It's true,
I am a...
I might dabble in poetry, here and there. No big deal.
3.4k · Nov 2014
Fear of the Dark
svdgrl Nov 2014
When I was younger
my older brother
would turn the lights off
and whisper...
"DARK FOREST!"
In a deep and scary voice
and I'd flee the scene,
like I passed gas
and didn't want anyone
to know
it was me.
3.2k · Oct 2014
Puppy
svdgrl Oct 2014
I am a puddle for you to play in,
because you'll never spill my tears.
Your big eyes stare back at mine,
and I wish I could speak to you.
I'd promise you protection,
love and attention.
And by the way you lick and sidle up,
I know your intentions are the same.
See with puppies, there's no guessing,
there aren't games or deception.
You'll forgive me if I'm mad,
or lost and impatient.
As long as I pet you and keep you healthy,
you'll be my best friend.
No questions asked
nothing to defend.
And when I look in the mirror
and attempt to rip my collar off,
you'll be there sitting
with your head cocked to the side,
making me smile
when I want to cry puddles
for you to swim in.
3.0k · Jun 2014
Cut clean and dry dreams
svdgrl Jun 2014
One night in the middle of summer,
I was given my favorite dream.
And in it, I was her;
the girl you'd think about when you sing.
I woke up, glazed in melancholy-
in sparkle juice sheen.
And I touched your bracelet to my lip,
the one I stole right before we kissed,
and when our mouths swished
dreamy washing machine.
Cleaned our inner depths of psyche,
anointed with love poison-
unable keep the thoughts of longing, dry,
strong desires are the knife
that cuts the girl from your cloth
the one you think about when you sing,
the one I think you like.
So shredded and clean I bound my lips to you,
I didn't stop until dreams came to life.
2.9k · May 2014
Mornings
svdgrl May 2014
I don't want to leave
our limb-locked warmth in our sheets,
but the day calls us.
2.9k · Apr 2016
Lent for Love
svdgrl Apr 2016
The whirr of the rush hour in the morning
and the lack of human sounds outside my door
reinforces that I'm alone.

It was a noise similar to my usual routine,
of quelling needy pangs of connection,
with what is always plugged in.

You had slept with me on this bed twice before
and you were unaware that on it,
I numbed myself quite frequently.

I reprimand myself to let go of expectations,
they have long become pipe dreams and idealism,
and would be foolish to follow still.
2.7k · Apr 2014
Inkling
svdgrl Apr 2014
You are the darkest my octopus could ever release,
I love that pitch black, sometimes I wish I could swim in it.
I wish I could swim in you, and your darkness, and love.
But I tread black water with white gloves and fear drowning.
Your brilliance on my cold bare skin does not ***** me,
But mark me like tattoos and your ink I adore.
Let me keep your night in a bottle, safe and contained.
So when I feel lonely my skin will be stained.
svdgrl Jul 2018
You always scoop me up with a smile and a wink.
I can't help the smirk that comes in sync,
You open your broken door to let me in
You're straight out of work and you still hold the scent
of the day on you, and we're spent but still I stay on you.
And I don't need to know, but I'll ask "How was it?"
while you're driving through our cities,
for you, I wasn't just a way, I knew.
I stare at the green patches and the spills of blue,
we listen to the radio and I listen to you,
lips glisten as grass and morning dew,
tongues run along them fast, and we have a clue,
and we glance way up ahead, as the cars come to a slow
you lean over and press them to me, under the red glow
You've a hunger and my lips abundant-
a feast, for plunder, and it's no wonder
under the disguise of your caddy sedan,
you're the man whom I call daddy,
a ***** man with a solid plan
and we'll drive by some thirty friends,
and park down and around the bend,
and scramble in through your basement door
even though it's no secret anymore
We'll say hello to your mother,
pretty sure she knows I'm your lover-
and though I hide the shame
cause I don't wanna be lame
My name in your parted mouth
And you in mine, hard down south,
makes for an even better night
than kissing at all of the red lights.
2.6k · Jan 2015
Meat market
svdgrl Jan 2015
What are we so scared of?
We are just bags of blood and bones,
in a rotating assembly line,
hanging side by side
smacking against each other
as lightly as possible,
so as not to puncture
our delicate vessels.
Don't we know?
Words are what
spill our guts.
2.6k · Apr 2014
A kiss or a thimble
svdgrl Apr 2014
Here is a thimble.
Your finger is protected from ******,
when sewing a passionate garment.
Yet the blood of a tailor,
is a blessing in dark garb.
Discard metal and thread carelessly.
My skirt is wine red and parched.
2.6k · Apr 2014
Southern Comfort
svdgrl Apr 2014
To it, I've never been.
but I've dreamed of a place where everything
is coated in corn and comfort.
Wished the past had taken me,
can't help but feel it was about my skin.
Cactus candy and cowboy boots.
Zydeco and haunted hotels.
The voodoo Frank sang about in the end.
The horns sound the streets.
Close curtains, be discreet.
Encircle the barest neck,
with colorful beads.
His family reunions
made me realize I'm on my own.
Until I met a prettier soul.
I don't kiss frogs for love.
I forget the ease in slime.
and let the grease define
an unhealthy outlook.
Sip another lime or a sour.
A ginger begs the hour.
Lonely never leaves,
but warmth is a soco shower.
2.5k · May 2014
Ignore Text
svdgrl May 2014
I always find myself running back to this,
desperately holding onto the little piece of me
that can survive alone
that can create.
I wonder if you ever mean this torture.
As if seeing me fret is fine-
put me on silent and out of sight.
For me, every time my screen lights up
my sheets buzz,
I frantically look for you.
but it's just a message from someone else,
a 7 AM alarm that wasn't necessary,
a low battery alert.
I know you are busy, and that I'm being annoying
like you say I am. (It hurts me a lot when you say that.)
But last night we didn't lay together-
and last night I didn't sleep.
You told me you couldn't either-
but for me it was really true.
You can see the timestamps.
And I just want an answer.
I hate feeling so needy.
I hate this reduction.
I've grown so obsessive.
I know I can't force love-
but I've been trying from the start.
Last night I wanted to save us
from any more damage.
So my legs started out the door.
I couldn't stop messaging you-
you told me not to forget you
but how can I forget the voices in my head?
I keep hearing you everywhere
but reality.
And I keep staring at my phone-
it just lit up with your name.
And so did my brain.
Yet now that I finally got an answer-
it really wasn't what I wanted.
A calculated mine field of two short sentences.
So I put you away-
but never silent and never out of sight
and I'm sure you never fret
or frantically look for me
but that's okay-
because I can still create something
a text
that will always respond
and never let me feel ignored
and always be mine.
2.5k · Apr 2014
like blushing pilgrims
svdgrl Apr 2014
What is a pout?
What is a pout if your lips
are not there to kiss it?
Non-existent.
It isn't anyone's invitation
but yours.
So let blushing pilgrims
host a wedding with
dark colors and no guests
but your lips and this pout.
You may now kiss.
2.5k · May 2014
Neverquest
svdgrl May 2014
I like to play RPGs
It's a world that is unlike my own
and I'm a character I've named myself.
Sometimes I save my progress
on a file- safe and undisturbed-
and then I wreak havoc,
make friends I wouldn't make,
experiment for potential easter eggs.
It feels good to know I can just go back
to where I started
unfazed, undamaged, unharmed.
And if I ever do something substantial
in my free-for-all joyride of side quest,
I can always save it to another file.
There are so many memory cards in my drawer.

I find myself living life this way-
but with empty drawers
and only one disturbed file.
of only one fazed, damaged, harmed, character,
that my brother named when I was a baby,
in a world that I don't like too much.
And everyone tells me it's a game-
that we all put our hours in.
I just see the option
of a never-ending boss battle with loneliness,
or a never-ending side quest with friends,
and too much damage done,
so where better to let my thumbs rest?
2.5k · Nov 2014
Values
svdgrl Nov 2014
The little boy left his soccer ball on the field,
perhaps to be kicked around later,
only to find it missing.
And it was a gift from dad.
So dad bought him a new one,
and the little boy decided to keep it in the trunk,
and never play with it.
And he just picked up another hobby.
Years later, he found his soccer ball-
deflated.
So he went out and bought a new one.
2.4k · May 2014
Exercise
svdgrl May 2014
the belt around her waist,
mimicked your pale hands
forming an "o,"
while your fingertips meet.
though I told myself
my curves are as gorgeous
though your fingers never graced
anything thinner than my wrists
or the neck of your guitar
i felt my cheeks drain of blush
and replace with the color
of the grass
i rather lay in
than jog through
because the only sweat
i'd like to break
tastes like yours
and mine
and ours in a kiss
while your fingertips meet
around each one
of my *******
and inside me
svdgrl Dec 2015
I miss loving you-
because I know you did not love me
and my love was all that kept us alive.
I'm going to pretend we are dead and gone,
so that this new me can learn to thrive.
I'll mourn at our gravestone, until I can't anymore.
Take all the stops and write you **** poetry.
Find the dead flowers you've left in your trash.
I won't take our last name off of your door.
I still sleep on the right side of the bed,
and search for your toes.
I search for your snores.
How do you block someone from your head?
You were good at it.
Or at least it looked like it.
Your fingers moved quickly,
deleted and removed,
deceived and disproved.
Rubbed ******* over your heart.
You never looked at me when I cried.
You just asked me why.
Called me pathetic.
Told me to die.
You knew I'd never know.
That you just cheated on me...
You just cheated on me.
You knew I'd never know,
you forgot about me.
Forgot about us.
I can't forget.
But I know I am so much bigger than what we were.
2.4k · Apr 2014
Bad Memories
svdgrl Apr 2014
I'd forget things,
but they're much worse to discover again.
There are many bad memories that seem unforgettable. Sometimes you really wish that you could just forget them and move on. There's a reason why you remember them. I'd rather have a memory of something bad than risk of feeling the initial pain of it again by unknowingly bumping in to it.
2.4k · Jul 2015
Disciples
svdgrl Jul 2015
I have something to write,
but I'm falling deeper.
It sears in my chest
and keeps me up early.
I know what I want to say
but I hold my lips shut.
I know what I want to do
but I won't let my fingers move.
I guess if I don't write about it
it won't be true.
It won't be forever.
It won't be you.
Inspired by Tame Impala
2.4k · Dec 2014
Cynicism on a Bookshelf
svdgrl Dec 2014
Hey you poets.
Stop making me believe in romance.
It doesn't exist.
And I know I sound bitter.
But trust me, I insist.
It doesn't exist.
But reading your pretty confessions
makes me wish it did.
And now I have this unrealistic expectation
of how I'm going to kiss.
We are pixelated people.
desiring a little more than a glance.
Romance is only fiction
on a bookshelf in a prison.
And I know I sound bitter.
But trust me, I insist
It doesn't exist.
2.3k · Sep 2014
Forward thinking
svdgrl Sep 2014
If you must know
why I kicked your stupid
"MEN WORKING AHEAD" sign
into the street,
This WOMAN WALKING BEHIND
is not for you to comment on.
2.2k · Jan 2015
Pause: Tomboy
svdgrl Jan 2015
Listening to Mr. Noah,
you were like a child at play-time.
Lost in euphoria you never needed to explain.
I saw a lady today,
and for the first time in a long time,
I felt a love that wasn't ****** nor familial,
I learned a bit of friendship,
and was reminded of how much giving meant
when there was no obligation.
It's easy to not to worry when you don't feel
the need to understand.
Listening carefully to his voice exclaiming,
against funny beautiful instruments,
he is like a child at play-time,
worry-free, until the music stops.
Calmness that can be sadness when it ends.
When will you return to the cottage in my heart,
little child?
You play with what you mean to love,
feel sad when it's broken from a lack of care.
But you don't need to understand,
so you smile when the music starts up again.
You were like a little child.
Inspired by Tomboy by Panda Bear
svdgrl Jun 2014
Don't obsess over the romantics-
shadows of eyelashes
what longing is and means
the way a chest falls
when bad news is heard.
Do anticipate disappointment-
and revel in pleasant surprise
only for the moment it exists.
Understand nothing lasts forever.
Don't give it away all the time.
and form a forcefield- a wall if it wills.
Always focus on the next task at hand.
Stop being so gracious-
and have more ambition,
demands that are either met or excelled,
higher standards.
You are stone until you want to be water.
Trees until you want to be storms.
The mouse until you want to be the owl.
svdgrl Nov 2014
I'm just dying for a better taste in my mouth.
2.1k · Oct 2014
Retail Therapy
svdgrl Oct 2014
Online deals are the best distraction
for the leaky feeling in my chest.
Every click wipes a drip.
A shopping cart comprised of sale items,
the pair of oddly patterned socks,
suspenders no one will ever wear,
men's sweater in an extra-small,
an obscure band shirt-
all unwanted sitting in a 20 dollar cart.
I want them.
5 more dollars and it's free shipping.
Throw in unpopular shades of makeup
and a friendship bracelet.
Looking forward to the delivery man.
So involved in the next best sale-
the pain of neglect is removed with mail.
i am in the clearance section-
waiting to be reconsidered
my emotions are overstock-
please pick one up half-off.

Sometimes I never complete my purchase.
Imaginary carts of imaginary feelings.
Dump them away and forget their existence.
Someone else might see their worth
and make me wish I bought them first.
Rainy day
a broken package.
my leaky heart
drenched in mud
wash me don't
leave me
don't forget me in the
mailbox by the door.

Only 5 bucks.
don't return me
to the store.

It was free shipping.
i promise i can be
more

Fine, I'll take it.
Months of dust.
i am sitting in the drawer,
wondering why you even bought me.
just because i was on sale-
now you never look my way.

Off to goodwill.
Consumer's guilty pill.
svdgrl May 2014
Our summers carried hot days
where our skins shook loose and raw
wet and sticky
warm and blurry
like shared memories.
We loved the rain and shower
and felt safe under their power.
In the stormiest night I knew
we decided to cleanse ourselves of the day.
We stripped down to the ****.
We didn't know we had it in us.
The fence is high enough.
The sky is dark enough.
The fog is thickly cut
with a waterfall of storm.
We lit up blue when we heard thunder.
Stared at what's up above
and ran to shelter.
Our skins were soaked and bare.
It seemed to be a dare.
I looked down and my shoes were still on.
The magic disappeared.
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