half-feigning a convenient drowsiness,
half-closed eyes and half words shot at
a bedroom wall illuminated by early sunshine,
and it happens to be quite bright.
happened again, redoing, recurring,
an ordinary oration, a silent sermon
the same words again, a slightly different version
every morning, inside out in eversion
the wrong things again, waking up
getting out of bed, out of my head, growing up,
getting old, aging fast, coming to terms with the fact that
one’s life is only as long as one’s past
all this future-talk’s got it feeling a lot longer
And vacancy is at least not my mistake
Filling in a bubble blindly of multiple choices
Splaying multiple regrets for something’s sake.
I will wake up and grow up
But if childhood is living in the sun’s light
then what’s staying up all night to watch its rise?
watching the lives of people change around me while mine stagnates made me wonder if my youth was being wasted, only to realize that that way of thinking never had a chance of being youthful, to begin with. part of growing up is growing up properly, giving yourself chances to be happy and young regardless of the world around you.