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Jan Jan 17
I think I understand hookups and one-night stands now.
The key to moving on is to replace until there's nothing to unravel upon.

I mean, It's fair.
I do it too.
Moment by moment,
conversation by conversation,  
I replace the replays,
and that is about as far as I'll go.
I can't bear the thought
of another touching me, like I'm not yours.

I got another ring today,
All big and loose.
Funny how I picked this one,
it keeps falling out.

It's been two months since I stopped wearing yours,
I honestly don't see a difference in the way it fits on my thumb.
That should be the end of it, but oh well, I guess it isn't.

I walked to the grocery store, paused at an aisle,
took my time frowning over chocolate bars.
You used to get me Munch, so I picked the KitKat.

I don't skip meals now, (well, most days I don't)
and in place of our routine conversations, I let a random show run in the background.

I drown noise with noise.

My days are decent.
I'm surrounded by mindless jibber jabber.
I participate.
I paste a bright smile.

“You look well now,” they say, “Well I am” I reply.

And as a matter of fact, I am fine.
9/10 times I am.

Then in a random mundane moment, memories of you resurface like a ring light and
in that single moment,
I let myself crumble.

“I don't want him back.
He isn't the same person anymore.
I'm not even me anymore.

If it's meant to be, it'll be.
He's the love of my life.
Well don't let him in,
when (not if) he comes back.

Do it from love, not for it.
You deserve happiness.
Both of you do.

You want love.
You are love.
The ocean doesn't look for its water,
Why will you look for what you have?

It is what it is.
and this too shall pass.”

So on and so forth my inner monologue goes,
and I stare at my phone wondering if I can conjure you from my thoughts.

I am kinder now. With myself, and everyone around.
I know you're proud,
and I kind of wish you'd say it to loud.

Can I possibly wrung out my favourite version of you, this time?

My thoughts swirl and I let them play.
Incantations in my head
Obligatory 3 am, weary sighs, contempt and pure rage.

Where is the calming lull of sleep, when you really need it to sedate your despair?

Resignation sets in, I play a familiar game.
I ask the universe and unbiasedly it delivers the same day.

"Universe, give me a sign, I'm really done this time.
Yellow flowers if he's coming back,
Dandelions if he's not.
Universe let me move on. This is the last time, "

In my version of He loves me, he loves me not
I break flowers, not petals.
I look for answers in colours and not action.
Hi, I hope your well. Know that I'm extremely proud of you and you're in my thoughts.
All my love to you,
Gabrielle Sep 2023
Your freckles are in all the wrong places,
There should be one on the back of your hand

And one on your knee, a little to the right
That you can see when you sit but not when you stand

He had one on his neck also, I used to trace every day
On the ***** where throat turns to shoulder

Your freckles are wrong, its alright, that's okay
Lets put our clothes back on before we get colder
This poem is about sleeping with a new person after ending a long term relationship.
riri Aug 2021
laying in his arms, huddled up right beside his chest
next thing you know we're kissing, while he's touching my breast
grabbing onto my waist, his hand running down my back
he's playing with my hair, while whispering down my neck

sirens going off in my brain, telling me to run
"run as fast as you can, you are not the only one"
his touch was an indicator for me to leave, but i didn't know how
temporary affection is what held me back, so i thought "it's only for now"

his hand was like a vacuum, every touch ****** bits of my soul away
i knew deep down his desire for my body was the reason he wanted to stay
the more he said he "fell" for me, the more i became sweaty
sweaty with genuine anxiety, for the fact that all i felt was empty

i gave every reason i could to leave but he twisted each excuse in his own way
"it's just a phase of emptiness & numbness you're going through, please stay"
every opportunity i grasped onto to escape
just led to me having my mouth covered with tape

not even self sabotage could free me from his control
so i decided to permanently walk away, but in my heart remained a hole
i constantly asked myself why i stayed when i couldn't feel a connection
but i realized he gave me what daddy didn't: just some affection
******* dad
Maha May 2021
how many times do I tap past your eyes
before you feel the twinge of regret
for letting my kite string go
when I chose to fly so low to you
about them
Bri Stokes Nov 2020
I never read your letter.
I can’t bring myself
to confront the sting of
I can’t bear to
part the veil which shields
my failures from my
from my lips
and legs
to listless
avoiding variables;
I ignore to keep
my weary eyes
above water.
See, reality wrinkles
its nose at the fantasies my insanity
can concoct
when I’ve yet to find a reason
to chase you away.
When the tethers of my grip
have yet to give way to anxiety, leaving me to wonder
if I feel too happy,
look too good,
want far more than what
my karma will allow.
I never read your letter, as I’ve been
consumed with playing
dress-up, draped in finery and fixtures
fit to outshine all the glow of
unshed tears
under pulsing
I'll coax it open it yesterday, but never tonight.
Isaac Spencer Sep 2020
Oh, it's been such a tough day, I'd-
******* **** for a cigarette,
Pathetic, upset, frayed and failing,
Falling apart with blood to let,

I'd like to get some rest now,
Without whiskey on my breath,
I'm more of a ***** scumbag,
And I'm begging to be left,

Again I lay awake,
Oh, redemption, I pray,
Or one more drunken hookup,
Whatever comes my way.
Kai Apr 2020
Your eyes bleed mystery
So, I fell for you
Your hair, fake, like yourself
So, I fell for you
Your voice is an earthquake
So, I fell for you
Your hands touched everyone
So, I fell for you
I know you’re bad for me
So, I fell for you.
Sometimes, bad boys know how to treat you right.
Emi Feb 2020
Hey babe,
Just lift up your shirt, show me your gown.
Do it with a smile, please never frown.
I don't care for your looks, I want your lust
Even if I'm the hard one to trust.
I want your ***, I want your appeal,
but trust me darling your face isn't my feel.
I need your body, I need to caress,
So do please lift it up that beautiful chest.
In my eyes you're pretty, you're just so gorgeous
However who you are isn't in my focus.
I just want you, and I know you want me too.
But a relationship, baby? No can do.
You're mine, one and only,
But baby don't fret if you get lonely.
Just hit me up on that cell phone of yours
And I assure I'll make my way over to ******* of course.
I don't want your story, I don't want to know your day,
Just let into your pants so I can feel happy hurray!
Another big score into the books, and all it took was complimenting your looks.
Please don't cry baby, it wasn't all a game.
After all, you knew what this was..
Just a hookup, okay?
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