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1.2k · Jun 19
2:17am
mysterie Jun 19
the moon is a whisper
on my bedroom wall,
she's ten times louder in my head

her name is a tide
it pulls,
it tugs,
it etches itself
on the inside of my eyelids.

every blink is a memory i didn't ask for
her laugh-
uninvited
but welcome
always

the bed is too big
for one body and this much longing
some nights
sleep forgets me
other nights
she replaces it
i hope she knows how much she makes me spiral, ive never wrote poetry. ever. this is new, because of her.

date wrote: 19/6/25
532 · Aug 20
dreaming
mysterie Aug 20
dreams.

they're weird,
right?

a full movie plays out
in your little head
while you rest --
getting some shut eye.

but as soon as you wake up
your brain
has wiped every trace
of memory
that it had
of the movie.

all gone.

but it felt so familiar!
so safe...
so soft...
so warm...
so --
right.

but that's the whole reason
as to why
dreams are weird.
19/8
meeeeeh
460 · Jun 29
hazel
mysterie Jun 29
i looked into
her hazel eyes
a little too long --
which had
surprisingly
been long enough
to wonder
if forever
could fit
in
a
glance.
date wrote: 29/6
424 · Jun 24
blink
mysterie Jun 24
your face,
infront of mine --
you look so heavenly
up close.
your breath grazes mine,
our noses
almost touch...
but i blink,
and you're gone. 
you're just a figment
of my imagination.
date wrote: 25/6
323 · Jun 20
you said it was a joke
mysterie Jun 20
you said it was a joke,
about how you wanted to kiss me
you looked me
straight in my eyes
and told me,
"i could kiss you right now"
then pulled away after a moment.
your touch lingered,
i could still feel your hands there,
on my cheeks,
holding them.
i could still feel
your body heat --
you had gotten too close
close enough for me to still feel it
because even though you left
you were still there.

you said it was a joke,
but the look in your eyes
it was desperate,
like you needed a push
to kiss me
then
and there
date wrote: 21/6/25
320 · Jun 20
bloom
mysterie Jun 20
you call me petal,
suddenly im blushing
like a rose in the morning
before the sun knows to look away

your fingers brush against mine
and something blooms --
not loudly,
but like orchids
deciding its time.

you always smell like wild lavender
and stolen hours,
like the kind of spring
you never see coming
until it's already
wrapped around your ribs.

i used to hate snowdrops.
they're too open, too soft.
now i plant them into poems
because they remind me of you --
brave
enough
to bloom anyway.

this thing between us
isn't fireworks.
it's passion,
it's roots,
and patience
it feels like sunlight shared on a park bench
where your head finds my shoulder
and stays.
inspired by spring.

date wrote: 20/6/25
318 · Jul 5
i still care
mysterie Jul 5
i say
"i don't care"
like it's a piece of armour --
almost like if i say it
enough
itll become
true.

but my soul,
it still aches.
in the middle of the
darkness,
in the silence,
it remebers
what my mouth
tries to forget.

i don't care.
but only
out loud,
the rest of me
still cares --
in the darkness,
and in the silence.
soul; entry three
date wrote: 30/6
291 · Aug 7
love
mysterie Aug 7
i knew that i felt love when i met my bestfriend.

i knew that i felt love when i met my first pet.

i knew that i felt love when i heard my new favourite song.

i knew that i felt love when i went to my first concert.

i knew that i felt love when i met one of my favourite artists.

i knew that i felt love when i hugged my mum.

i knew that i felt love when i sat down and ate dinner with my family.

love isn't just romantic.
it can be platonic.
and sometimes
it's even more special that way.

let yourself be loved,
and love other people
and things you enjoy.
date wrote: 8/8
love is all around. feel it. let yourself.
268 · Jul 20
learning
mysterie Jul 20
we learn
the abcs
by repeating them.
we learn
how to do things right
by doing them
every day.
so why is it
so hard
to learn kindness?
don’t we
repeat it
every day?
date wrote: 20/7
264 · Jun 30
reach
mysterie Jun 30
my chest
doesn't scream --
it hums
with a stabbing pain
too polite
to interupt.

my soul
it still reaches
for hands
that no longer
reach back
to me.
a small insight on the upcoming poems im saving.. there's six at the moment.
date wrote: 30/6
253 · Jul 15
tossing and turning
mysterie Jul 15
i toss and turn,
unable to sleep
away from you --
you,
my safe place.

my home.
sleepless nights..
date wrote: 14/7
232 · Jul 2
before i knew
mysterie Jul 2
happiness
to me
was her laugh
spilling into my lap
like sunlight --
warm.
and mine,
before i i knew
i needed it,
needed her.
something semi crazy happened today
also, the project is going to have ten entries and a small one at the end to sum it up x
date wrote: 3/7
232 · Jun 22
calling...
mysterie Jun 22
you only ever call --
when she doesn't answer
to your pleas.
i pick up anyway,
just to hear
a voice --
one that won't
choose me.
date wrote: 22/6/25
218 · 3d
Unlimited Stories
the unlimited stories
unfold slowly,
words floating in
little minds
already worried about
too much.

we were read stories
as a kid,
too many --
umlimited.

some stick,
some don't.

so let the stories unfold
and take in the words,
let them float around your head awhile.

don't think about the story
too seriously --
just imagine.
let it sit for some time.
prescription: Unlimited Stories
date wrote: 13/8
little one i thought of, ny only rule was to use the words unlimited and unfolding.

this is the first entry of my fourth project that im putting out. 1/3. im going backwards in order of entries.
216 · Jun 20
terms and conditions
mysterie Jun 20
you kissed me once --
you were drunk,
and it was once,
just once --
and then laughed like it was nothing
but your hand lingered
just half a second too long.
half a second.

you held my secrets
like folded contracts,
terms tucked
into your quiet,
and sneaky glances
like maybe
you were hoping,
and praying that i wouldn't read them.
or try to.

i should've known.
love was never in bold.
it was small,
curved quietly into the margin
of every almost we had pretended
didn't matter to us,
to me,
to anyone,
at all.

now you hold her hand
in public.
and i hold
all the things
you never said --
only highlighted,
neon yellow,
and in hindsight.

i should've read the terms,
the conditions,
the fine print.
should've known.
fine print.

date wrote: 20/6/25
213 · Jun 24
blue
mysterie Jun 24
your favourite colour
was blue.
maybe it still is,
i wouldn't know.
but whenever i see
that deep shade of blue,
that isn't too deep to be
navy and thoughts,
but also not
light enough to be
ashy and gentle,
i think of you.
this was your colour.
and i still
see you in it.
date wrote: 25/6
206 · 3d
fall apart
i sat in the forest --
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.

and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly
like the others.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

but it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

and that's okay.
date wrote: 18/8
204 · Jun 19
the girl who isn't me
mysterie Jun 19
she laughs into her girlfriend's shoulder
but watches me like a secret
like she's holding her breath-
a sigh of relief
in the shape of something new
and i see it-
the way her smile trembles
when our eyes catch,
like she's just met a truth
she wasn't looking for,
as she turns back to her girlfriend
the girl
who isn't me.
date wrote: 19/6/25
mysterie Jul 9
i don't exactly know
why im writing this --
maybe just to say it out loud somewhere.
you probably don't even notice the way i look at you. or maybe you do, but you just don't say anything. which somehow,
hurts worse.
its stupid, really. how a simple glance from you can rearrange my whole day. you laugh and i swear that it sounds like something that i've been trying to commit to my memory forever.
i don't need you to like me back --
i think that i just needed you to know the truth.
and maybe that's selfish, maybe that's brave, maybe it's both.
but either way,
im not sending this.
ill just keep on pretending its nothing. like i always do.
TEXTS NEVER SENT. 1.
HELLLLOOOOOO.. texts never sent is being uploaded!
date wrote: 4/7
no matter what happens,
it's always her.

she's there through my
platonic breakups,
romantic breakups,
emotional breakdowns,
overwhelm,
and the nights i cry myself to sleep.

she's there
every
single
time.

that's why it's always her.


but you know..
things change.

people change.

so maybe it's not always her.
atleast not anymore,
not the way it once was.

she's not there anymore.

but honestly?
nor am i.
and im trying to move on
from her.

and i think im almost there.
date wrote: 25/8
"friendship breakups hurt the worst" for me it's the silent drifting. the kind where no one explains whats wrong and why you aren't as close as you used to be.

anyway, hellooo
194 · Jun 22
constellations
mysterie Jun 22
i always stare
at the stars
in the middle of nowhere,
because you liked constellations.
we used to find them together --
drawing silly lines in the sky
like the universe
made sense if we
connected the dots.

now i lie there,
in the middle of nowhere,
staring at the stars --
alone.
the sky holds them,
but it doesn't feel like it used to.
i can see orion
and i remeber
vividly
how your fingers traced it on my arm
like i was part of the sky too.

but you're not here anymore.
but i keep looking up,
at the constellations,
the bright stars..
just in case
you're still searching
but from somewhere
i can't see.
date wrote: 23/6/25
179 · Aug 19
why write? why bother.
mysterie Aug 19
writing these are dumb.

stupid even.

no one my age writes!
i feel so out of place.
alone,
drowning in my feelings almost.

i cant breathe.
being the odd one out
is already enough.
not this dumb nerdy trait too.

"she writes whenever she feels"

"uh oh! be careful she might write about you"

so what?
i can't exist now?

fine.

ill stop.
on the account of my anxiety
getting worse --
my attendance too.
my friends leave me slowly.

i grow distant from the world
when i get anxious
and my writing helps me with that.

yeah, let's stop writing
and let that happen.
date wrote: too long ago, months back. like..january?

honestly had to change this up a bit, it's different on the project page..
also the last entry of a peek into a girls notes :(

more soon 👀👀
178 · Jun 19
almost
mysterie Jun 19
we never speak
just glance
across italian class
across the corridor
across everything we don't say

she sits beside.. him
laughing loudly as he kisses her cheek
but her eyes flick
they always do
to me.
the girl sitting alone
head in a book

we trade seconds
like stolen notes
neither is brave enough
to unfold
to admit
and maybe in some other version of today
those glances would have been hands
fallen for a straight girl...again

date wrote: 19/6/25
177 · Jul 11
tempted
mysterie Jul 11
im tempted --
to dial your number,
to send that text,
to drive to yours,
to run into your arms.

im tempted.
because i miss you.
i miss your warmth,
your scent --
that cold vanilla
and lavender scent
that was yours,
and only yours.

but most of all
im tempted
to just cry.
crying over you
sounds like a waste of tears.
but it'll just 
have to do.
because for now,
its all i have.
and you're not here.

...and i don't think
you'll be coming
back.
okay this one, is one of my favourites that ive written, was super proud of her.
date wrote: 7/7
176 · Jun 25
you were bored
mysterie Jun 25
i met you
on a quiet tuesday,
in the soft sunlight 
of a small beach café.
you looked bored --
so i walked over,
and we got to talking.

that same day,
two years later --
i walked back
into that café.
on a quiet tuesday.
in the same soft sunlight.
i ordered the same drink.

and i saw you,
from afar.
i didn't dare go over.
you were just bored.
and i was never
enough
to cure that alone.
date wrote: 25/6
171 · Jun 21
drown
mysterie Jun 21
you were always
something oceanic --
pulling,
never touching,
loud
but somehow
without sound.

i had never learnt
how to swim,
but i waded into you
like i wouldn’t drown.
even though i couldn't swim.
i waded anyway,
like softness
could save me.

you had looked at me
like a wave
right before it breaks --
beautiful
confident
but too full
of something
it cannot hold.

i should’ve known.
even low tides leave salt.
even still,
quiet, gentle water
it pulls you under
if you stay too long.
especially if you stay too long.

but gosh,
you were just so --
blue.
and i was so incredibly
willing,
to just let you in
to let myself drown,
slowly losing myself.
i have two draft ideas with no motivation to finish them.
date wrote: 22/6/25
170 · Jul 6
quiet before
mysterie Jul 6
you touched my hand.
and it felt like
it wasn't the first time --
it was like
your fingers already knew
my own,
in some kind of
quiet before.
..hi, how are you?
date wrote: 6/7
168 · Aug 12
selfish?
mysterie Aug 12
was it selfish
when i chose
to end our friendship
because
you
grew to become
toxic?

i was saving myself.
that's not selfish.
it's self awareness.

i didn't deserve
a toxic friendship.
date wrote: 13/8
lol i hate friendship issues
167 · Jun 20
perfume
mysterie Jun 20
grief doesn't knock-
it slips in
wearing her perfume,
that strong vanilla scent
it sits beside me in silence,
and stays longer than memory.
date wrote: 20/6/25
165 · Jun 19
to be a teenager
mysterie Jun 19
to be a teenager is to be in those social media group chats
to be a teenager is to know the hot goss, to know everyone's life
to be a teenager is to gush over boys and giggle when they look at you
to be a teenager is to be reckless, and funny, and happy
it's a social norm
it's known that if you don't do any of that, you're left out

so no, I'm not in the group chat with the funny name
no, i don't know the hot goss on jenny and tyler
no, I don't like any boys — i'm trying to figure out my sexuality
no, i don't like to be reckless, i'm not funny and...
i'm not happy
but maybe being a teenager isn't just that-
maybe it's the quiet, chaotic, messy in-betweens
maybe it's the questions with no answers yet
maybe it's the becoming, not the being
.....right?
wrote this when i felt left out.

- date wrote: 4/3/25
163 · Jul 9
DRFITING
mysterie Jul 9
i know that we're drifting.
i don't want to think its real.
i don't want to know what happens to us.
our friendship --
meant so much.
i'd hate to lose it.
i don't want that.
i want us to stay close,
stay friends.
i just need you in my life.

i need to tell you about all the gossip --
all my crushes,
all my weird fashion choices.
i need to tell you,

because i don't want to drift.
TEXTS NEVER SENT. 2.
date wrote: 4/7
mysterie Jun 23
i forget, sometimes,
that everyone has their own world
just as full as mine.

that ******* the bus,
she always has blue glitter on her eyelids,
she has someone
she cries over
when it rains.

and that boy,
who laughs a little too loud in the hallways --
he has a grandmother
she calls him every sunday.
he has a playlist
that he never shares.

i forget
that lives unfold around me,
not just mine.
no one else's life
pauses
just because im not
in the same room as them.
they're full of joy,
grief,
midnight cravings,
and rom com dreams
that don't star me.

but tonight?
the warm city lights
look like conversations
ill never hear --
and i remeber.
sonder.
date wrote: 23/6/25
155 · Jun 22
reflection
mysterie Jun 22
every morning, 
i stare at the mirror --
looking into my own eyes
like they belong
to someone else.

my smile feels forced,
stolen.
like i borrowed this body,
and forgot 
to give it back.

i don't deserve it.
i neglect this body,
my shattered heart
would survive better
in someone
more loving
and patient.
date wrote: 22/6/25
154 · Aug 18
...
mysterie Aug 18
...
sometimes a few words
can make a real
difference
in someones
life.
date wrote: 18/8
beep
154 · Jun 25
permanent
mysterie Jun 25
you're in my life
everywhere i go.
it's like you've been
permanently placed --
as if someone
put you there
to stay
forever.

and i hate
that i can't escape you.
you hurt me.
so why are you
still everywhere
i go?..
had to upload this gem
date wrote: 24/6
152 · Jul 12
interstate
mysterie Jul 12
shes all i think about
day and night --
twenty-four / seven.
she's always
on my mind.

interstate,
but im still calling.
she always answers late,
never in the mood.
and she wont wait --
not for me.
and not for anyone.

she's infecting my dreams,
shes rewriting my thoughts,
even changing my music
into sappy love songs
i swore i hated.

she's taken over
my life,
my breath,
my hours --
day and night,
twenty-four / seven.
heavily inspired by casually by ixaras (unreleased song)
edit 12/7 - im iincredibly slow and tired at the moment so don't expect much..
date wrote: 8/7
150 · Jun 29
slipped
mysterie Jun 29
i refused to
call it more
than a blunder.
the way i looked at her --
too long.
but maybe
my heart
had just
slipped.
date wrote: 28/6
150 · Jun 22
4am
mysterie Jun 22
4am
im thinking too much
again.
why won't you say anything?
all i said was --
"i miss you"
is that too much?
am i too much?
am i not enough?
should i love you?
it's only been a week..
i can make myself --
if it makes you happy.
am i texting too often?
did i send the wrong emojis?
was i not funny enough today?
not talkative enough?

****.
im thinking too much..
again.
inside an overthinkers brain
date wrote: 22/6/25
143 · Jun 24
my room is a sanctuary
mysterie Jun 24
my room --
it's away from the people,
the anxiety, 
the problems,
my grades,
my friends,
my co-workers --
it's just my room.
my sanctuary.

i can move things around
whenever i please,
shift the space
to make it more me.
it's mine.
and its peace.
it's my sanctuary.
i have quite a few (4) drafts that i wrote all in one night to publish whenever..
date wrote: 24/6
142 · Aug 5
guilty - not my fault.
mysterie Aug 5
its not my fault.
i didnt do anything wrong,
it was all
you.

it feels like you've
carefully planned this.
every millisecond,
making me
feel like the guilty one.

im not.
its not my fault.

your intention was to hurt me.
and you succeeded,
with a bonus of
making me feel
guilty.
date wrote: 5/8
i know i said retiring this account but i feel really horrible right now, and im in school, currently uploading this lol
139 · Aug 18
poetry & poems
mysterie Aug 18
theres no wrong answer
to what poetry is.

"poetry is rhyming"

wrong.
there is actually a
wrong
answer.

poems are little windows,
a view inside
someones head.

it doesn't have to rhyme,
it doesn't always have to provoke
feelings.

its just words,
that are there
to help
*someone
date wrote: 18/8
dislike this one but idk
139 · Jun 23
solace
mysterie Jun 23
i once had a dream.
about her, 
of course. 
who else would it have been?

and she was there --
in front of me
laughing, 
looking so
effortlessly
pretty,
like joy had learnt
how to refract
through her smile.
and she was
my girlfriend.
my
girlfriend.
and her lips --
they looked
like they were something...
between a promise
and a secret.
warm,
and soft.
i smiled
at her.
gosh.
she slowly leaned in,
and i had
plummeted
into waking.

it was just a dream.
not real.
not at all real.
but god --
it felt like solace.
saw a prompt on instagram, "write about a dream you had, extra challenge, use one of these words; refract, crimson, plummet, solace"
date wrote: 23/625
138 · Jun 19
old friends
mysterie Jun 19
it’s funny how people grow apart —
one day you’re laughing,
the next,
you’re not texting
or calling
or sending dumb memes

a girl i used to know
stopped calling one day
sent a birthday text —
like a ghost with good manners
i haven’t seen her in months,
she’s an old friend.

maybe it’s just the cycle of things.
maybe we’ll find our way back.
but that doesn’t make it hurt
any less.
should i send this to her?

date wrote: 20/6/25
132 · Jun 20
low tides
mysterie Jun 20
we still talk-
only in echoes now
you send memes
instead of midnight thoughts
or how your mum finally said
"im proud of you"

our laughter-
it used to fill rooms
theatres when we watched a comedy
but now-
it just barely stirs the surface
and i think
we both feel it

there's a silence between us
it hums
between messages
the long pauses
they don't even ask to be broken.
no fight,
no storm,
just the soft unraveling
of something
that was once knotted tightly.

maybe that's
how some tides go-
not crashing
just quietly
pulling back
pulling away softly
without a sound
date wrote: 20/6/25
130 · Jun 21
feelings
mysterie Jun 21
you know that feeling?
when your heartbeat
just quietly moves
into your ears
your throat
your ribs
your skull --
like it's trying to upset you
or escape,
but you're the one
trapping it.

i felt it
when she brushed my arm
it was an accident -
maybe not..
i don't know
but my chest went loud
my heart beat picked up --
not fast,
just loud
like every part of me
was pulse
like it was screaming
for everyone to know
i was alive.
it was loud.

i could feel it
in my teeth
in my fingertips
in my stomach
my organs jumped
like i swallowed lightning.

it wasn't love --
not yet.
but something in me
already knew
how loudly she could make me feel
all my emotions flooded me at once
and it was just
a light touch.
this feeling is everything all at once, and it's scary
date wrote: 21/6/25
130 · Jun 26
unsent..
mysterie Jun 26
i saw something
on tiktok today
that would've made
you laugh --
for a moment there,
i almost sent it.

...

then i remembered,
we don't do that
anymore.
not out of hate.
not out of frustration.
not out of spite.
just distance.
just time.
just change.

...

but i still miss you
in the quiet ways
and like a silent burn --
like reaching for a hand
that isn't
there anymore
and one that never
got the chance to say
goodbye.
date wrote: 27/6
128 · Jun 23
noumena
mysterie Jun 23
i think there's more
than what my small hands can hold --
something
beneath the name of things.
an unusual silence
inside sound,
a reason
behind my ache.

maybe love
isn't the smile
or the warmth --
maybe it's the thing
that lingers
once she's gone.
maybe its
the truth,
not the feeling.
the ghost,
not the soft kiss.

and maybe im not only
skin,
voice,
and wanting --
maybe i am
what watches
from behind 
my own two blue eyes,
trying to grasp
an understanding
of what any
of this
means.

ill never see the whole of it.
maybe im not meant to.
perhaps the knowing
isn't just in the visuals,
the seeing --
instead its in believing
that there's something
there.
noumena: the nature of something beyond our senses
date wrote: 23/6/25
128 · Jun 30
change
mysterie Jun 30
i dont always feel
like im growing,
like im changing --
but even flowers
take their time
to bloom
and to change.
i have a series of poetry i want to release all at once just waiting for you soon
date wrote: 30/9
123 · Jul 17
run
mysterie Jul 17
run
run
run
run --
run away as fast
as you possibly can.
get away.
get out of that place.

you don't know the
horrors of being there
like i do.

trust me,
and run.
run
run
run.
as fast as you can.

get away
before you
make it out
barely breathing.

covered in blood,
missing a limb,
open wounds,
a pounding headache,
a swollen ankle --
just run no matter
what it takes.

you don't understand
the horror
like i do.
another raw unedited one for you guys..
might release an edited version?
date wrote: 14/7
121 · Jul 3
her
mysterie Jul 3
her
her with the dark hair.
her with the ocean blue eyes.
her with the gummy smile.
her with the loud laugh.
her.
she's the one that
completely lights up
my day.
she's the one that
can change my mood
with a snap
of her fingers.
it's officiallll! soul; an archive of feeling, is being uploaded. one a day. and the second project is in motion. i had a great idea and i cant wait. it's going to have five entries. which is 6 less than soul.
date wrote: 4/7
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