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M Nov 2022
some say i think of you too much
but so long as overdose on thoughts of you is a ways away,
ill keep taking these memories with a cup of jasmine tea--
id rather count my days with you
than the sheep I see in bed.
thoughts at 4am
Poetic Eagle Jul 2021
Up at dawn just to rise together with the sun
As we hope to leave our darkness with the shadows of the night
Random thoughts
Alec Astaire Jun 2021
I wish that I could call you
Tonight at 4 A.M.
To pour out all the secret feelings
Hidden in my head
You need to know “I love you” is a
Phrase I’ve never said
And at 4 A.M. I gasp for breath
As those words fill my lungs instead

Maybe you believe
That I’m shallow with intentions
If I can clear the air,
I’ll have so much more to mention
At 4 A.M. I can’t admit
Our hearts have no connection
Though hot and cold,
When we’re alone, I often feel our tension

I really want to ask
If I should make a move
Because the way you talk to me
Just leaves me so confused
At 4 A.M. I beg the stars
And wish upon the moon
That I don’t ruin what we’ll have
From needing to know too soon

I wish that I could call you
But for now, I’ll hold my bluff
Cause even though it’s 4 A.M.
I know that you’ll pick up
This poem is about mixed signals and how they make you feel
Nikkipopgun69 Mar 2021
How it started just friendly message
Turned into flirting trying not to can’t feelings
Laughing with friends.
Thinking how long will this take to get out of hand?
They said I’ll give it a week.
They where right it got out of hand so fast.
Then the mixed signals started

So I told you I’m gonna send you a nice thing everyday until I run out of things to say.
I’m now 2 months 8 days in.
Giving you all the love you deserve because from the signs I’ve read someone hurt you
So bad you don’t want to admit  your feelings so you don’t get hurt.

But what you don’t know I’m not like the people you’ve met along the way. I’m different. I’ll shoot my shot every single day. To make sure you know I’m being serious.

I didn’t want to catch feelings it felt like it was gonna just be doing something because lock down is boring and I wanted to just flirt with somebody. But I was wrong I kinda realised I do in fact like you.
But I know I’m only gonna hurt myself  in the long run but boy you’ve got me hooked on you so badly and I hate myself for it
Is every bit of poetry just a story that’s left unwritten words left unsaid.
Nothing will ever go completely right. As long as there will always be those who wants to hoard things for themselves even though, aware they will never live forever.
As long as there will always be those who are not ready to live right and reasonably...
What's the point?
All leads to the den of obliteration.
Let's give up!
What if we give down?
What's it about surrender!
What's it about never surrender?
No one is, an exception.
There is neither a thing I can hardly do, except to right the wrongs of the mind with my words.
Words inscribing the wrongs and beauty of the soul in a pinchbeck, puny age, is like a melodious masterpiece of a violin in a noisy throng, rarely a soul offers any attention.
A token of my contribution.
Smiles.. I hope that be enough. Though "bitter Smiles"  cause nothing is ever enough..
Verily we are spend thrifts by nature we exhausts everything.  And we! eventually gets exhausted.
Up 4am.
Having aftermath dinner.
With the most tremendous of guests,  comforting yet tormenting, thoughts and Memories.
Dining on meals and wines of,  unfathomable class and brand.
With the most tranquiling of musics, echos of emptiness.
Guarded by The magnificent majestic retinue, lugubrious phantoms.
Encompassed by The most absorbing and cimmerian paintings, mystical darkness.
"In a stead formed yet unformed by ether, the mind".
The journey of the mind.
Absorbed in mystical darkness.
ms reluctance Apr 2020
4 a.m. —
and I am the king of the world,
queen of all things feral.
I burn brighter than the stars,
a galaxy full of possibilities.
My reign eternal;
I am the only one alive
and I want to live dangerously.

Want —
with one word the light goes out,
the stars dip beyond the sea,
my crown tumbles to the ground,
I am pulled back to reality.

Back —
here and now
I rub my eyes;
feel my lambent desires die
as morning resurrects
all of my insecurities.
NaPoWriMo Day 4
Poetry form: Free Verse
lost Sep 2019
sitting here, quarter-past four,
thoughts erupting through my head

out my mouth, to your mind

these thoughts so divine,
which were once only mine
random aha
mr nolan Jul 2019
4 am, it's close again
the darkness is closing in
im falling asleep
i don't want to wake again
it's 4 pm
my soul feels dim
i can't move but yet i swim
through this emotion
i always claimed to love the ocean
but it's deep, i can't hold on
now here comes dawn
Marianna May 2019
I haven't wrote anything for so long.
My brain does not allow myself to do so. There are so many things that are bothering me, mostly about myself, who am i in this world, how people see me, what is going to happen to me. Every second i try to make some sense out of everything but i'm left even more confused than i already was.

Reality is scary; simply because you are never sure if you are genuinely aware of reality. That's because what i see myself as, might just be an illusion i created to ease my fear of being myself. I always thought i was a strong person, that i had values and strong opinions, that i am someone who will do big things. I always thought that i am a nice person, that i genuinely care for others, that i'm okay, just a little confused, but am i? Am i any of these things?

I feel like a ghost wandering from place to place. People are unaware of my existence unless i make sure they notice i'm there too. But i stopped blaming society long ago, it's not anyone's fault, i'm not sure if it's mine either,maybe it's my brain's, it plays tricks sometimes. But i am my brain.

Everything feels like it quietly falls apart, slowly but deadly and you can not notice the damage unless you straight up look at it. I don't think i am as okay as i say that i am, but i am okay enough, and i guess that's what's wrong. I can't wish for help because i am okay enough. It's a fine line that keeps me hanging there. We fail to care about ourselves unless it's obvious that we should. I guess i am like that too.

I don't know when i'm right or wrong, when i'm happy or just getting by. I find myself unbearable, weak and tiny, like a trembling deer chased by lions, only i am both the deer and the lion. I don't seem to be able to hide my genuine feelings anymore. I started to catch myself hesitating before answering to "how are you" or i keep repeating the phrase "i'm anxious about this or that". I seem to not be able to fake a smile anymore or other times i'm smiling too much. I trust people who seem to sympathise with me, strangers or not, i ran to open arms like a homeless puppy or i poured my soul on small glasses and forced myself to stop before i break them. It's weird because i sometimes feel in control and other times i'm all over the place or when i talk about myself to curious eyes i say too much as if i truly know what i'm talking about.

I fear so many things, so so many things that keep me from living. I want to do things, be with people, date, say my opinions out loud, i want to live and not force myself to carry the weight of my head everywhere i go. There are times when i put my guard down and i close my eyes and i feel my head falling to the side, too heavy to keep it still. I fear everything but love so much.

The reality of who i really am is suffocating and i don't know, i don't know, i don't know. My god how i wish i could cry in public and whine and scream on top of my lungs "******* all!" just because i can't be any of them. Or to make my mum understand that when i tell her that i am not that good i mean "mum!i!am!not!okay!" but i'm scared to hurt her. How could i choose to make my mother cry when i tell her that i think about death a lot. But i'm not doing it, because i am okay enough.

How i wish i could date the guys that call me "interesting" and want to get to know me, but i'm too scared of speaking to strangers so i act cold to turn them down when in reality i'd love to feel their warmth on my skin. If i wasn't afraid of going to new places, or talking to people, or experiencing life, or not ******* up every line i say because i'm too stressed to actually put my words in a correct order. There is such a huge gap between who i want to be or how i feel like i am and who i actually am or even who i end up looking like.

If there was no fear, how could my life be? Who could i be if i wasn't afraid of being? Really, is there anything in my life other than my loneliness and a universe of polluted thoughts? Am i anything more than flesh and bones? And how? How can i change and find myself? How do people know who they are if i, who knows too much about myself cannot understand a single part of my existence? If i can't understand myself then how can i ever be able to truly understand others, to be happy, or to be alive? How could i truly ever live my life without feeling the weight of myself dragging me down?

I sense the catastrophe running through my veins. Really, how small can a person become? I feel so small in my own room, even smaller in my own life. Am i even as big as a dust in space, as alive as a falling star or is there nothing for me? I wish i could be someone you turn to face, but maybe my sunrays faded away and maybe i'm way too small to take up all that space; but for you to look at me, that would have been the biggest accomplishment i have ever made.
If you are still reading you are now looking at me straight in the eyes.
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