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1.0k · May 2014
Function
Excuse me sir, but
My life's been turned upside down
I've moved twice this year
You just stab me in the heart
And expect me to function?
1.0k · Jul 2014
Heart's Breaking
The sound of a heart breaking
Is louder than the headphones make your music
Louder than the siren alarm of a fire
Louder than the scream of the executed mind
Louder than the engines on the takeoff to the bloodred sky

But it is misunderstood
Simply because you are the only soul
Who can hear your heartbreak.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Ram
Ram
I feel like ramming my crowded thoughts
Into a red brick wall
But somehow I feel that would only cause more pain
And wouldn't help at all.
1.0k · May 2014
Picture Me
Whenever I'm mad
Or angry, or frustrated
I picture a knife.
I don't know why, no really,
But it's like I want to stab.
1.0k · May 2014
4. Green
I sank deep in grass
Flowers around me swaying
The world was turning.
1.0k · Oct 2015
Sonnet E
Homework, thou art a most wearisome ghost
Who doth chivy and harry my frail bones
To their shatterment, to amuse the host
But I shall not delight them with great tones
Of fear and agony, nay; with homework,
I shall blast the fearsome foundation flat
And though my heart bids me to papers shirk,
Quiet strength am I, and never fearing
What mere letter or stroke may do to me
For I have but one desire: to learn
And to become the best that I can be
While for homework no sense I yet discern.
What shall tear me down from where I now stand?
Only homework, which I cannot remand.
1.0k · Sep 2015
Tangled
But what breaks my heart
Is that I messed up again.
How can I fix this?
Is there no place for friendship
In these tangled emotions?
1.0k · Jul 2014
This Is The End
This is the end of 'tomorrow's
And 'maybe's and 'sorta's and 'shrugs'
This is the end of beginnings
That never amount to His love

This is the end of the water
That's lukewarm, not cold and not hot
This is the end of just saying
That we'd rather just sit here and rot.

This is the end of your sorrows
That are given more attention and care
Than the unmourned deaths of the millions
Who die without knowing He's there.

This is the end of the judgement
We all so readily give
To those who just needed a Savior
And who now don't see why they should live.

This is the end of the 'nervous'
Where you don't speak 'cause you're afraid
This is the start of your courage
Where you stand up 'cause you're not ashamed.
1.0k · Aug 2016
But Why
You had every right to ask
And no, no reason why not to
     But you couldn't have known,
     I just felt so alone
And I wanted someone to talk to.

I'm trying to get all my thoughts out
They're clogging the drain of my mind
     I don't blame you for speaking
     Yeah I'm just freaking
Out because I was blind.

'Cause I thought I could just be friendly,
And laugh and make you laugh too
     But things always happen
     When people are chatting
And that lesson is so not new.

So now that you've come out and said so
You said that you'd like to just do this;
     Now you aren't wrong,
     But I knew all along
I just wanted to pretend I was clueless.

'Cause avoiding is the name of my game here
I avoid the past, present, and future;
     I don't want to admit it
     But the way that you said it
Got my heart all caught up in my throat here.

I analyze everything two times
And then analyze it again
     And often I'm wrong,
     But it takes me so long
To realize my mistakes when

I lie to myself, so reality
Stays at what I can accept—
     There's nothing that's worse
     Than that second verse
Of a song that trips me up the steps.

I'm still getting over some feelings
That I had for someone I knew
     He dated my friend
     So there, the end
Nothing else will happen, that's truth.

So please, if you want, give me a chance
You might find that I'm less mature
     'Cause there's struggles I face
     That I would erase
If I could find a big enough eraser.

But if you took me at my word
And let me show you my faults,
     If you still wanted to,
     I'd stick here with you
And maybe try a new waltz.
July 26, 2016
1.0k · May 2016
Finals
Please let me leave

Mountains have risen up
that I created
by leaving my clothes in a pile
by tossing my responsibilities upon it
by heaping insult upon injury
by throwing caution to the wind
and by washing my mind down the drain.


Just let me leave

Too many times have I yearned to breathe
to inhale without holding back
to take it all in
to smell the roses
to take a deep breath....
and then breathe it out
blowing dandelions
letting it all out
exhaling without care.


Let me go.

I've given up on so many things I cared about
Too many of them were important
and now I have no excuses
except that I lost hope
and I thought I couldn't finish
and I believed it wasn't worthwhile
and the pain was too much to bear
and I didn't believe it would get any better.


Can I go home?

Finals week is taking its toll,
and nothing can make this better
except a big comfy bed
a mother's embrace in the morning
a hot cup of coffee in pajamas
tv shows I loved as a kid
brothers to goof around with
a smoothie when dad gets home.

I just want to go home.
1.0k · Sep 2014
dd
dd
Speak without your thoughts
Support your chin on your hand
Write without your eyes.
daydream.
1.0k · May 2014
Be Still
If you would be still...
Close your eyes and wait for Me...
Then you would see truth.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Worthwhile
I am too tired
To say something worthwhile
So let me not speak.
1.0k · Feb 2017
The Terrible Three
Hold onto me
When memory
Is pulling on my wings;
Your arms around,
When I break down,
They heal what sadness stings.

Protect me here
And hold me near
When fear reaches to claw me;
You hold my hand
When I can't stand
And in my panic calm me.

When worries come
And flutter from
Anxiety's dark cave:
You fight them back,
Stop their attack
And keep me strong and brave.
depression, panic attacks, and anxiety.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Hot and Cold
Why is it that my hands are hot
And my feet are freezing cold?
Could it be that a fleeting heart
Would be hesitant instead of bold?
1.0k · Apr 2014
Type
My fingers hurt from writing,
My pencil is wearing on me;
I'm tired of constantly scribbling—
I wish I could type everything.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Somewhere
Somewhere far away
There's probably a pumpkin
With a happy life.
1.0k · Mar 2014
Fiddle
Among my my dreams
Strange and simple
I wish I could pop
A million pimples.
don't say it disgusts you, you know you wish it too.
999 · Feb 2017
Fields of Glass
Two days, and nineteen hours
Are left 'till he arrives;
And I'd count the ticking minutes
If I thought it'd keep me alive.

These thoughts just won't stop chasing
The dreams I once believed;
And when I try to catch them,
I find they can't be retrieved.

I'm trying to stand and fight it.
I'm giving it all that I've got.
But finding that I'm not adequate
Ties all of my strength in a knot.

Rain doesn't just soak your jacket,
It seeps in and freezes your bones;
And all of the warmth leaves your body
As you wander bad weather alone.

But find you a friend, and you're warmer
If only because he's a smile.
Just braving rain with a companion,
It takes the edge off for a while.

So I won't let fear keep me lonely:
I'd rather run through fields of glass
Than stay one more day in my bedroom
Just waiting for sadness to pass.
996 · Apr 2014
Whence
Cut on my finger
Right under the knuckle, red,
Blood from somewhere deep;
Startled me when I saw it--
From whence did you come?
995 · Apr 2014
Stage Eyes
Sharp, scraping across
The lines of black and of grey
Removing makeup.
991 · Jul 2017
Butterfly Poem
I'm here.
I am small and my      fears crowd      all of my thoughts.
The monsters        lean in        on my hopes,
  crushing         them and      my energy
as I fall          to my           knees
hopeless.*
But at your call,
every           cell in my          body
stands itself      up and marches      forward
knowing I can     do anything,     if you need it.
I will be there for you,           as you           have always been here
for me.
987 · Apr 2014
Highly
It doesn't matter
What you think of me, because
I have two brothers
That think more highly of me
Than you ever will; so there.
All those books they made us read,
The smelly yellow-pagers
That weighed as heavy as the guilt
We felt as "zombie teenagers";

Do we remember anything?
The names of the main characters,
Or maybe, who died in the end--
Or the ones who were in pictures?

It wasn't that we hated books--
We didn't understand them;
Before the teacher's spiritless voice
Made us slowly condemn them.

"Memorize the vocab words,
And don't forget the spelling!"
Was that the point of literature?
But definitions aren't compelling.

So all those hours in English Lit,
The days spent reading Steinbeck,
Were soured by the grouchy face
Always looming over my desk.

I always wished someone would say,
"This isn't boring, here's why:"
But I was told to shut up and read
When sometimes I wanted to cry:

"I hate this story! Nobody's happy!
And everyone's messed up!
It doesn't make sense to force it on us
When we're already stressed out."

But we had to read it, because they had to read it
When they were young in school.
This book had an impact in history:
So now, reading it is a rule.

So if it's a must, that's fine, then.
But...why don't we make it fun?
Or talk about the psychology
And learn something when we're done?

A book can't be everyone's favorite.
We're all different people inside.
But please try to make us all interested
With wisdom only you can provide.
Steinbeck, Dickens, Orwell, Bronte, Fitzgerald, all those depressing writers that we were forced to read. I only liked Edgar Allen Poe, and that's saying something!
981 · Mar 2018
Job
Job
The day begins before it should,
and every minute is squandered,
before I jump into the car,
spilling hot coffee in my haste.

Then the rushing wind blows past me,
running through my hair in the dark;
headlights keep up with the sharp turns,
and the thumping stereo lifts me.

Parking, on time, walking briskly
to ensure the grandest entrance
to give a formal impression.
My echoed greeting meets my ears.

Hello, goodbye, I take over,
holding my vigilant station
as I toast bagels with butter
and wait for them to call me up.

"Ashley!" comes the petulant cry
and I manage to answer her.
"Coming!" And I take a slow sip
before heading up creaky stairs.

They want me to pick out their clothes.
They want me to help them get dressed.
I say, "You can do that yourself,
I'm here to do hard things, like cook."

Teasing, admonishing, waiting
for children to do what I asked;
I take one more sip of coffee
and the cup is gone far too soon.

Soon, they are eating their breakfast,
and I'm prepping backpacks and coats.
Something spills, and I clean it up;
then she says she forgot her shoes.

I tell her sister to get them,
but she won't go up there alone.
So we three climb the creaky stairs,
and come back with their socks and shoes.

We run out the door, lock the garage,
and jump in my car for a ride.
"Seatbelts?" I ask before leaving,
and they both ask me for tic-tacs.

A minute away, and I park.
They jump out and both wave goodbye.
I smile and wait for the school bus.
I drive to my next job, next door.
Work as a nanny, it's not for everyone, but I love my girls.
980 · Apr 2014
Days
Oh! the sun and
Oh! the moon
Dancing around the
Earth so soon.
978 · May 2014
In Touch
Getting in touch, well,
That's the main thing I do;
Tuning in to me
And taking notes from my soul,
Then weaving a tapestry.
975 · Apr 2014
2:30
It's 2:30, sir
And I cannot fall asleep
Why can't I? Tell me.
973 · Apr 2016
Torn
Nothing will be the same
If he changes your name;
And we will be torn apart
If he does steal your heart.
April 15, 2016 ~ one poem a day challenge
969 · Oct 2020
Chapter 285
I sit in contemplation
trying to close my eyes
so I turn off the playstation
and drop my phone with a sigh.

Earlier, I tried to eat a pear
'cause fruit is healthy and stuff
but it was too hard for me not to care
it just wasn't ripe enough.

This show I've been obsessed with
and the manga after that
have busted that subconscious myth
that fiction has a lesser impact.

How long will I spend in the depths
of the fandom and content I find
accessible at my fingertips
and flooding through my mind?

When will I sense the ending
of this era of nights spent reading
headcanons, and content expanding
on the world on which I'm feeding?

Last night the latest chapter
was out on my mobile app
and I stumbled across it after
going to reread whatever was last.

It hit me like a ton of bricks
like the weight of hardback copies
of every scene the author depicts—
sent shock throughout my body.

A character who, before this day,
was invincible and proud
not unrivaled in his sway
but always drawing a crowd.

And then the last page caught me
and I could not look away
as tendrils from the enemy
cut through its raging prey

Too quick to be avoided
the hit was meant for another
but he knew he'd been appointed
as savior to his brother.

Taking a bullet for the one he abused
the one he had hated and cursed
before their fates were irrevocably fused
without either harsh role reversed—

All perceived slights against him
any contempt he thought he had shown
was forgotten as he jumped out to save him
His body just moved on its own.
I just can't get that image out of my head...
I refuse to believe Bakugo could be dead.
967 · Sep 2014
Mess
I can't see where I'm going
I don't like seeing where I've been
And Lord, where I am tonight
Feels like falling on my knees again.

The past is a hurried grey blur
Except for certain moments
I'm trying hard just to move on
But I just don't know where I'm going.

I'm messed up, and I need you to change me
I am broken, humbled, hurt
You said You'd be my only One,
Oh, how I want to take you at Your word.
965 · Apr 2016
Grasp
I grasp at the wind
But all I really want
Is to touch the sky.
April 17, 2016 ~ one poem a day challenge
963 · Mar 2014
Hue
Hue
What if the sky was golden brown
And the grass was russet red?
What if the curling, twining boughs
Of trees were blue instead?

What if my hair was purply grey
And my eyes were orangy pink?
The world would simply carry on
With inverted colors, I think.
962 · Apr 2014
Uncertainty
It just makes me sick
Inside where no words will come
And nothing makes sense.
960 · May 2014
Dancing
He used to only dance
With a raggedy grey mop
And now when she's with him
She can't get him to stop.
953 · Mar 2014
Six Fingers
If I had six fingers
I doubt I'd type much better
Than when I go one-fingered
On my iPod writing blank verse.
951 · Apr 2014
Loser
Give up
It's what they mean
Not what they say.
947 · Oct 2014
200
200
They think I suffer
From but one affliction;
But I enjoy it.
946 · May 2014
Faint
Eyes closed, skies exposed
Reveal the glow above me
The slightest gleam, lightest beam
Unveils sunrise blushing.

The drip and drop, a grip that stops,
Slipping from the run;
Dream the shadow, scream the sorrow,
And stumble when you’re done.

Sway beneath the fraying wreath
Too wrought to reach the ending;
Perhaps your sleep, collapse the heap,
Will lift your soul ascending.

Deep in sorrow, reap tomorrow
The things you sow today;
Suffer, maybe, tough or shaky:
Faint, the sky seems grey.
942 · Jun 2015
Commotion
So much commotion
Takes over my tired brain
Can I just sit still?
938 · Sep 2014
Pounding
It pounds in my head
Pain reaching into my heart
I wish it would leave.
937 · Apr 2014
Bare
I don't know, not sure,
If I'm hesitant to give,
To bare my soul honestly,
Or if I should not,
And if I should not trust you.
936 · Mar 2018
Cry
Cry
Frick.


Don't feel bad for yourself.
You have it so good.
You have a house
to live in
You have clothes to wear
You have
a family
who loves you.

You have a boyfriend
who wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Everything is going to be okay.


Bad things ****.
Good things are hard.
Life takes a long time to get right.
926 · May 2014
Cloud
I just can't focus,
I'm in a cloud of nothing;
And I don't know why.
925 · Nov 2020
dawned
a new day has dawned
as we are kissed by the sun
night is forgotten.
920 · Jul 2014
RWB
RWB
I heard you were blue:
When I red the white on your face
I knew it was true
919 · Apr 2021
Jumping
Here I go, head first
Jumping and not being pushed
Into the deep end.
916 · Mar 2014
Haikus
Sometimes I wonder
Why I write haikus so much
Maybe I like them.
I think I write them because I don't like blank verse, but I want to write something short and sweet and not rhyming, but it kills me to not have STRUCTURE and I need stuff like that in my life.  I like haikus.
916 · Jun 2015
What I See In You (Song)
Step into my eyes
I know it's not
Going just how you'd like
You just can't see how
Anything could come out right
From your perspective

This mountain's taller than any other
This valley's deeper, the slopes are steeper
Trust me, even when you feel ashamed
I see a love that's greater than your pain

What I see in you
Won't give up now, no
What I see in you
Smiles when you're down low
What you see can't get you down
What you see will turn around
But what I see in you
What I see in you
Can overcome.

Just you look around
There’s more than this
Stress just gets you down
But there’s more than this
If you look through my eyes
You’ll see what I see

This mountain's taller than any other
This valley's deeper, the slopes are steeper
Trust me, even when you feel ashamed
I see a love that's greater than your pain

What I see in you
Won't give up now, no
What I see in you
Smiles when you're down low
What you see can't get you down
What you see will turn around
But what I see in you
What I see in you
Can overcome.
Hear the song here: https://soundcloud.com/thewaive/what-i-see-in-you
912 · Sep 2013
Sometimes I
Sometimes there is a message hidden in between the lines
    Sometimes the poems have a rhythm woven in the rhymes
Sometimes I’m writing faster than I care about the sounds
    Sometimes I make it long and sometimes I go out of bounds
Sometimes a passion fuels me and words are burning hot
    Sometimes I catch the writers’ block and sometimes I do not
Sometimes I write so fast and then think better later on
    Sometimes the words stay with me until they are almost gone
Sometimes the hidden message is invisible to me
    Sometimes I feel a statue built for all the world to see
Sometimes I wonder secretly if I am made for more
    Sometimes it turns out better than I’d ever dreamed before.
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