If there's a word that you're holding back, say it.
If there's advice in your brain, let it out.
And if anything helps, then I'll take it;
But no man can assuage all my doubt.

I doubt that I'll ever quite make it:
I doubt that my dreams will come true.
I doubt night and day, but I fake it
In case they start doubting me too.

I don't think I can catch my breath now,
I doubt that this air will be clean;
Don't know if I'm close to my death now,
But alive? I just feel in between.

Come and steal away all of my guilt now
Make me sigh and admit I was wrong
For of all of the things my mind's built now
I distrusted self-doubt all along.

I want to know you
And the thoughts inside your mind,
Won't you let me see?

Hope will strip you of worry,
It will give your heart a spark;
It can take away your fears:
But it needs credibility to work.

Eleven days left
I'm afraid I'll miss something
In my haste to leave.

Why am I hungry
While I sit and eat my food?
And why am I cold
Bundled up by the heater?
Why do I tell him,
Aware that I'm not alone,
"I think I'm lonely."?
Am I supposed to fall
When now I've grown wings?
Or am I to crawl
When my legs can walk again?
I thought I could see
With eyes opened to the light,
But darkness returns.
Is it just me, or is this
The empty, chilled night
Where loneliness is granted
As effort's reward?
When will the new flowers bloom
Where I planted them?
Will I stand alone again,
Like I did before
When I fell back on nothing,
Lost in confusion?
Or will this dark be broken
To bring me dawn, eyes open?

I look back on those things that we said;
When I told you, it was the truth:
I was willing to let you mess up a million times
I just wanted to be here to forgive you.

My eyes are gonna fail me
Someday I'll need some specs
So maybe I'll do it quickly
Or get contacts like the rest.

.
     Hello, my friend
     You've walked so long
Though you have far to go;
     Take refuge here,
     Just sleep and rest:
You look tireder than you show.

     Come in, my friend
     I've worn those shoes,
And walked down many a road;
     If you come inside
     And sit awhile,
You may leave with lesser a load.

The Gift Of Mankind,
We toss aside earthly things
And depart this world.

From old to new, young to old,
Great lords can be traced
And before their time inevitably comes
Burns their memory unerased.

From the lives of one such man,
Traveling in the call box,
We know the game of chance was won
Because sticky-uppy hair rocks.

Savéd he the rich and poor;
He battled monstrous foes--
And before the eleventh hour struck,
He'd had his share of woes.

Companions in hearts and soul,
He gave of himself so readily;
How could one lose so much
But never lose one's empathy?

His smile warmed the hearts of all,
His pain struck them to the core;
And not one of us didn't dream of the day
He'd show up at our door.

He'd fought his Goliath, like all of us must do,
And waited for the sunrise to appear;
Not one but two hearts beat in his chest,
Which some might think very queer.

He held our hearts and attention,
We watched him victorious with pride;
But as long as he stayed, we loved him
And missed him when Eleven arrived.

From old to new, young to old,
There's always a bit of a shocker:
Regeneration really *****
And you never forget your first Doctor.

If I were to run away
And leave my cozy home
I'd make the decision consciously
And then wander off alone.

But I suddenly find myself so far—
How did I reach this place?
I seem to have fallen far,
So far from Your grace.

I didn't just wake up one day
And decide to run from You;
I simply slipped from your presence, slowly
Without meaning to.

How will I reach your throne again,
How can I now return?
If I make this decision consciously
Maybe I will learn

That to leave is easy, sadly;
But to return is never hard—
You will always be there, arms open wide
To hold me with Your hands scarred.

I'm sorry for every time I've run,
And found myself so far...
Maybe this time, You'll draw me close
And You'll whisper to my heart,

*“You are forgiven.”

You never see the world the way it is,
You've never felt cold, hard truth;
Your heart isn't whole, or close to it,
Though it's never been torn in two.

When you see my eyes
They smile morning, evening
Night sees so much more.

There is one I hold to,
One whose love is strong;
Strong enough to hold me
When he’s been deeply wronged.

For when I find I’m empty,
He fills me up with love,
And strength enough to carry on—
Much more than just enough.

He keeps me from despairing
For he’s never too busy for me;
His every waking hour,
He’s attentive as can be.

I know no other as righteous:
He’ll never do me wrong.
I wish I was more like him, but
The process will be long.

When no one makes me special,
When I’m selfish and want my way,
He’s patient, quiet, humbling:
He takes my breath away.

He’s not just something to hang on to
Because ‘nothing could heal this pain’:
He is the only solution,
The sun above the rain.

My faith isn’t blind, here—
It’s more than justified;
My Savior keeps me going.
To Him I owe my life.

If you were a poet,
I wouldn't dare read what you wrote
About me.

It was just a game, I said
I didn't think we meant it
A few cute looks, some flirting;
Of pettiness strong scented.

I had a crazy idea
Just a thought inside my head
What if I put down my flower
And you gave me your heart instead?

The look on your face was confusion
And disconcerted interest
You asked to clarify, and then
Slowly lifted your heart from your chest.

I felt mine stop beating
As you placed it in my hands
Dread almost overcome me
That you went with my commands.

This is real, I thought then
And gulped and looked at you
I almost lost my memory
Of what I was supposed to do.

Holding it, I watched it beat
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub
But simply holding it was just
Too boring, I thought with a shrug.

So I tossed your heart up in the air
And I caught it with evident ease
The fear on your face and the horror
Did nothing to me but please.

It was a game, I felt it
As I tossed it up once more
But too high this time I threw it...
and it fell splat on the floor.

I froze. I could not move
For the shock at what I had done;
I couldn't bear to see it there
When it had been all in fun.

I ran as swiftly as I could
To get away from there
Sorrow flooded my frightened heart
I didn't really care.

But as I looked back to the place
Where your heart lay in pieces,
I watched you lift it up to God
Who all broken hearts eases.

The mountain praises You with its height
The valley worships You with its river
At the glory of Your rugged cliffs
And at the soaring eagle, I shiver

Your forests shout Your name
The rocks cry out in song
If the smallest sparrow knows You reign
Then why did I fight that for so long?

The pine clings to the steep mountainside
And the hawk feels secure in flight
So Lord, in my fear and doubt,
Please be my shelter tonight.

Sometimes not having
The responsibilities
Of being grown-up
Is better than those times when
You can rule the entire world.

There’s a spiral in the universe
Where things go ‘round and ‘round
Everything is caught up in
The race to reach the ground

Some call it entropy
And others call it life
I prefer to call it knowing
You’re falling on a knife

All the ostentatious ones
Who stand out from the crowd
To become known for heinous deeds
Their voices brash and loud

Others lay in quiet dark
Waiting just to strike
Leaping unexpected, then
Relieving them of life

Some live innocently enough
Though more ignorant than good
They know not that their days are wasted
And drowning if they could.

****** knuckles
****** wall
****** fingers in the hall

Hand sweep hair
Hair sweep face
Someone trying to erase

Loving heart
Bleeding soul
Handled rough and broken whole

Coping mind
Angry eyes
No one ever should tell lies

Could he be
Someone Loved
Precious in God's hand above?

Tired of waiting
Tired of looking
I'm movin' on
I'm gettin' gone

Sick of distressing
Sick of distrusting
I'm giving in
I'm gonna win

Fed up with mourning
Fed up with not learning
I'm making mistakes
I'm making escapes

Done with running
Done with coming
I'm opening up
I'm growing up

Here I stand and here I'll stay
Now it's time to see Your glory
You've got the pen, Lord
It's time to write my story.

I am on a pastry
I am kneading dough
You could just as well say
That I am on a roll.

Inside my chest lies an anomaly,
An anatomical wonder;
Inside me lives my triangle heart,
Ever torn asunder.

No rounded edges has my soul,
'Cause chafers gon' chafe;
It beats irregular the time,
Like constant battle strafe.

Often dead my heart's become,
Silent as the grave;
Resuscitated by the shock,
Its walls have nearly caved.

No weather wears the pointy ends,
And no waves caress the stone;
My heart lies cold and rough within,
Pleased to be alone.

No harm has knocked upon its doors,
Nor has its core been touched;
Indeed, my heart has felt no warmth
Since you replaced its flesh.

It's so hot in here
I want to rip off the sheets
But then I will freeze.

The sun is shining above those clouds
You won't be rained on forever
You'll find your world is a wonderful place
If you stand firm despite the weather.

lately i've been scared
worried the darkness will last
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel powerless
so backed into a corner
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel judging eyes
like i'm not just projecting
but i hope i'm wrong

i think i see it
they wince when my mouth opens
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel unwanted
it's unlucky to know me
but i hope i'm wrong

unhelpful and shamed
no one is glad i'm here, right?
i just hope i'm wrong

only by working—
my body, my only strength
my hands hold children
but my mind is too broken
prove to me i'm wrong

Inefficient love
Subpar communication
Almost good enough
Almost worth listening to
If you say nothing
You confirm it with silence
But if you argue
Please bring some more evidence
I'm trying to hope
That this self-talk's distorted
I'm sorry my pain
Is underreported
If nobody cared
Then surely I'd be alone
And not surrounded
By those who want to love me—
But I don't know how
To feel the love that they show.
I shrink back, I hide,
Because it hurts me sometimes.
These are all my thoughts
They feel so true in my mind.
But I really hope I'm wrong.

Do you have any idea
What you have done to me?
Will you ever understand
That I'm no longer weak?

I'm the one you tossed aside
The one you didn't have time for
I needed help, but you were busy
How many times had this happened before?

You weren't the one I thought you were
And that makes a person change
I'm not the naive girl you knew
So stop treating me that way.

You don't make me cry or frown anymore
Frankly, I don't care
So stop getting all upset when we talk!
I'm fine, I solemnly swear!

But I am one to break promises
That's something I learned from you
No one is honest, no not one
But you don't have a clue.

It's been a little while since I decided
since I started telling everyone who asked
since I posted it in every corner
since I declared my major.

But what if I don't want to be a teacher?
What if I go off to college,
and I suddenly have the courage to do
what I didn't want to do before?

I'm afraid that it won't work
afraid I can't make it work
afraid to let go and fall
because what if it falls through?

All I want to do is music,
and yes,
I'm minoring in music
and honestly
I could be a teacher
but I'm rethinking that.

I know I don't have to go with the career
that matches my major,
and that I could finish out a teacher's license
and then go on to music.

But I could be so much more prepared!
There's so much more I could do
if I majored in Songwriting, Music Performance, or Worship Ministries.
What should I do?

What can I do?
I can take generic classes now,
ones that can count for any major,
and choose later.

But how long can I wait?
I'll just have to be patient
and wait for His guidance
because He knows what I should do.

When these old faces
Become new friends,
The pain from familiar strangers,
The ones who never made amends,
Will disappear like smoke;
And I'll watch these wounds mend.

.
   There comes a point
   in the dead of night
When all is still without you
   You cannot see
   if you look outside
And the darkness grows about you.

   There is a time
   when the lights go out
And the moon is dead beneath me
   That the dark things crawl
   and come alive
And I wonder what you'll bequeath me.

Bugs in the dark swarm
My screen is not the sunlight
But they know nothing.

Songs That Are The Story Of My Life



Emotional Movies

"I'm alive!  
Even though a part of me has died!  
Take this heart and bring it back to life.  
I fall into your arms open wide,
the *Hurt and the Healer collide."
~Mercyme


Cooking

"Don't look at me
if you're looking for perfection
Don't look at me,
I will only let you down.
I'll do my best
to point you in the right directon,
But don't look at me
No, no, no,
Don't look at me,
Look at him."
~Stacie Orrico


School

"I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity,
And I've been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key,
And I've been *dying to get out,
And that might be the death of me,
And even though
There's no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I'm going because
Oh, I gotta get out of here
I'm stuck inside this rutt that I fell into by mistake
Oh, gotta get out of here
And I'm begging you,
Begging you,
Begging you to be my escape."
~Relient K


Driving

"Heeeelpp!
Heeeeelpp!
I need you!
Oh oh I need you!
Please heeeeelp,
Give me your help!
I need you!
Oh oh I neeeeed you!
I need your heeeeeeelpp!"
~Abandon


Cleaning My Room

"I'm letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams,
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe,
So I'm letting go!"
~Francesca Battistelli


Computers

"Won't you tell me it's not over?
Can we work it out?
Can we talk about
Getting through the hard
Getting through these trying times
I need an answer, tonight:
Tell me everything is alright
Tell me everything's just fine
Tell me the words that I need in my life,
Tell me everything is alright
Tell me everything's just fine
Tell me the words that I need to survive."
~Capital Kings


Food

"Well, You could take a cup and fill it up
And just keep on filling till
It all comes spilling down the sides
That's what You do in my life
...Never mind moderation,
You exceed my expectations:
I have never loved You more
'Cause You have never loved me less
Than the day before, or the day before
I have never loved You more."
~Nichole Nordeman


Air Conditioning

"Haaalleluuujaaaaaah!
Haaalleluuujaaaaaaah!
Ha­aalleluuujaaaaaaaaah!
Your love makes me sing!"
~Brenton Brown


All-Nighters

"Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eeeeyyeees
Open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eeeyyeees,
Keep your eyes open."
~NEEDTOBREATHE

Spicy Food

"Where were you when our hearts were bleeding
Where were you? It all crashed down
Never thought that you'd deceive me
Where are you now?
How long can you stand the pain?
How long will you hide your face?
How long will you be afraid?
Are you afraid?
How long will you play this game?
Will you fight or will you walk away?
How long will you let it burn?
Let it burn?
Let it burn."
~RED


Popcorn

"Where is the hope?
Where is the peace
That will make this life complete?
For every man, woman, boy, and girl
Looking for heaven in the real world."
~Steven Curtis Chapman


Too Many People In Here

"Get off my back
And into my game
Get out of my way
And out of my brain
Get outta my face
Or give it you best shot
I think it's time you better face the fact,
Get off my back."
~Bryan Adams


Younger Kids' (My Little Brother's) Criticism

"Get on, get on
Get away from me
If you're trying to bring me down,
Trying to bring me down
I say, get on, get on
Get away from me
If you're trying to bring me down,
Trying to bring me down!"
~Third Day


Music

"You can feel it in your soul,
That beat drops and you find yourself just wanting more.
Music, music
You're at its mercy, soon as your feet touch the floor.
And the rhythm is moving you,
As the wisdom's fine tunin' you.
Ain't nothing better than a real hot track
With those lyrics that bring us back."
~Beckah Shae

I awoke at 1 AM
And had no reason why.
Perhaps my dreams were torn from me
And with them my sleep so shy.

Maybe my mind could sense that I
Had gotten three emails so far
And maybe I wanted to see if one
Would make or break my heart.

It wasn't there. But it could arrive
If I stayed awake but ten more minutes;
I read the ones that I had received
But felt no spark of interest.

I wondered again why I'd woken late
In the bowels of the night;
Maybe somewhere in this world
Someone special gained their sight.

Yesterday someone's ears were ringing
And their friend said, You know what that means—
Someone's talking about you, girl
And I wonder if this is the same.

If I'm awake because someone's dreaming,
And I'm awake in their dream,
I know it's not the one I dreamed of
Unless in school he's fallen asleep.

Maybe the planet was calling out
And only I could hear them;
Maybe the world begins to turn
One notch faster at 1 AM.

The world is so big,
never thought it could hold so much
So many places to go,
but I never find my way home

Maybe I'm too picky-choosy
thinking nothing's good enough
Maybe I'm too prideful
or foolish to know that

Your love is my home
Your hands hold my reality
Your peace is my resting place,
                  nothing could replace
The home I have in You.

Even though I was lost
so caught up in my own world
You held my hand
and I knew it was always Your plan.

Your love is my home
Your hands hold my reality
Your peace is my resting place,
                       nothing could replace
The home I have in You.

I'm slowly realizing
slowly figuring out
That all my days of hiding
You were what life was about.

I'm taking responsibility
for the life You've called to own
For the only way I can make it
is to acknowledge Your love is home.

I may be a small voice,
or a thin voice,
or a soft one
But I will be a loud voice
And a great voice
When the time comes.

run...
fly...
jump...
swim through the sky

dreaming of flight
wanting to escape
finding my wings
seamless shapes

limitless reach
stretch above my head
galactic needle
pulling infinite thread

field of pyramids
I'm twenty feet tall
stumbling to find
the end of it all

the house I knew
twisted somehow
and all the rooms
are locked away now

the college campus
that I once roamed
with elevators broken
construction postponed

looking through the floor
glass beneath my shoes
wearing a skirt
afraid of the view

someone I've never met
capturing my heart
sweeping me off my feet
are they real or not?

the roots of any dream
might never be found
but none of them are real
no matter how profound.

Dari mana datangmu?
Apakah kau cari ku?

Drowning in sorrows
He flounders in the depths, gone
His chance over, gone.

maybe the end is coming,
but for me,
i'm stuck in the long haul
feeling like i can't pick up my feet
time is dragging on
and it's dragging me forward
whether i like it or not,
the sun will set and i'll be in the dark,
again.

The smile you give is a disguise
Your small laugh is a lie
The words you say are from someone else
So that no one sees you cry.

If I repeat you,
Playing you endlessly here,
Will you stay with me?

Charles told me today—
But don't tell him I said so—
He really likes you.

Something about her
Shines without even trying
And everyone sees.

That awkward moment
Where someone walks up and goes
'Why, hello stranger!'