Hannah once again with tears streaming from hazel eyes silently praying, "Oh Lord I need you desperately to show me how to make the best of this situation." Using her delicate hands to cover her face and trying to reason with her own heart. "Josh deserves a wife who can return his love, a wife that can be madly in love with him. I want to be that kind of wife. I want those feelings. I would hate to spend a life time in marriage where there is no love."
Hannah looked down at her hand and remembered his words when he'd given her the wedding rings. "I will wait a life time for you to love me if that's what it takes. I love you. There's no need for you to force feelings for me Hannah."
Regret hit her hard at how easily it seemed when she foolishly gave herself to Jake.
He showed her a different kind of attention that she needed. It dawned upon her right then that Jake didn't love her nor him. She confused it for love. She'd found a stand-in for the attention she craved from her father.
She was more naive but Jake was more crafty. There had been a great hole in her that she thought Jake could feel... an emptiness that only God could fill. Perhaps now she could love Josh as God intended. Now that she set her selfishness aside and forgiven her earthly father and would be right with her Heavenly Father again. She understood love and all of it's honesty now. Maybe it wasn't too late.
A tinge of fear seized a moment making her wonder how she could ever forgive herself. Then questions filled her mind as if to tell this wonderful, loving husband of hers of her betrayal and sin. And if she did would she lose him forever. Wondering if she could keep it hidden from him but if she did how could she feel good about it?
"Oh dear Heavenly Father," she tried once again to pray but only heart breaking sobs came out.
~Author Ven J. Arnold (rough draft).
~(SacredInkedBlood)

I just meant to lay my head on your chest,
For no other reason but to hug you right,
Then I realized for the first time after many a night,
That your heart was beating at it's best,
I smiled and wanted to cry,
          But Instead,
I silently thanked God for giving me the sweetest lullaby,
last night before we went to bed.
    ~SacredInkedBlood
©2018 Venjencie Clifton Arnold
Sweetest Lullaby (see) Author Ven J. Arnold on Facebook.

You may walk in the same storm with another, Under the same sky feeling the same rain but that doesn't mean you've endured their pain.

    Before you assume that you're above them, Consider the lightening when it does strike...
that it doesn't consider one's mere stature or height.
~Author Ven J. Arnold
(SacredInkedBlood)
copyright 2018 Ven Jencie Clifton Arnold

"Same Creator"
See that woman standing on the street corner with hardly any clothes on to wear, that's me you see there,
See that rich white woman in that movie, that's me on TV,
See that girl with the pretty skin that you called a ******, that's me & I'm no different,
See that old woman there that you make fun of because she forgot her name, that's me all the same,
See the girl in the fancy dress with all the fancy things abound, that's me safe & sound,
See that woman in the uniform with dust & debris, that's me sent overseas,
See that woman that preaches about God, that's me talking about Jesus,
See I'm every woman & I'm every girl no matter where she came from, no matter her skin color, no matter where she's born and no matter her circumstances because we're all from the same Creator,
So no one is less and no one is greater! ~SacredInkedBlood ©11/18
©2018 Anna Ven Jencie Clifton Arnold

you're so high,
white glowing light,
I'll never let you go,
always blowing me kisses from the sky,
I send you kisses,
we're two in one,
you know all of my secrets,
we'll be together every night,
you've always been there,
you always stay until the sun shows up,
protecting me through the night,
every night,
white glowing light,
you're so high.

Now read from last line back up to the first.
~SacredInkedBlood ©112718 via Ven Jencie Clifton Arnold

Nothing changes no matter how you try. Change your perspective... see it from another view they say. They must not know in the world I'm a slave to stay. Nothing changes, nothing gets better, just let me die one day soon, and when I try to see it out but it didn't go as planned and I'm still barely alive, do me a favour and walk on by so that death may shortly take me away. Thank you.

Where do I begin? I'm lost. So much is personal you see. I had apps and apps full of feelings, moods, poems, my stories and goings on saved onto my device. Now these apps suddenly disappeared, so I downloaded them only to discover they won't reappear! I don't understand, I can't comprehend. I didn't memorize all of those months in some and years in others to recall so I can't just rewrite. Sure instead I could've used paper & pen & locked them away from peering eyes elsewhere but guess what notebooks on top of of notebooks from all my years also to did the act of a disappear. Yes, burned in my house fire with most of my prized possessions that were photos of some but the photos that meant the most were the photos of a man that loved me most and loved me more than any other could, my dad. My dad the man that died & left me to a cruel family that could only hate... only hate me that is. I was so little when he died and I never understood why I wasn't allowed to take that ride to death... with him. Anyone reading this by chance, do you know how I can get the content in those apps back? If I write the things I wrote there esp of recent events then you'd think it's an improper way to vent not being in poetic form and such. It's pretty weird, different and personal too, but my wounds are deep and writing them gave some relief. Now they've disappeared.
No poetry here, just asking for help that'd be much appreciated. Thanks and blessings.

'Always Sleep With Your Shoes On' Series... #2 2 out of 3.

You're in bed covering each ear,
        as beer bottles break when                            W
         thrown against   A
                                          L
                   ­                         L
You're just a kid, not sure which one got hit again,
Ears covered so you don't know who hollered out
in pain, Another hot night
                    without any air
           so your body is bare,
except at age six
you got your shoes
on in a quick fix,
Sure enough, it's 3 a.m,
Once again you hear daddy yell at mommy to get the kid and nothing else then he pushes you both out the house and
                    D
                                          ­                              O
                                                               ­            W
                                                              ­               N
                                                                ­               the steps.
Always sleep with your shoes on your feet,
       getting comfortable is not worth the risk.

''Always Sleep With Your Shoes On'' Series... #1

You're born without shoes on your feet,
When you're branded with your first pair,
                              Rehearse to always wear,
                     least you meet your 1st defeat,
You may be born to a mother,
She thinks you're too much of
                                      a bother
   so she leaves you to another,
Another
sees you're too of a burden to bear,
Your shoes you must always wear.
~Author/Writer Ven J. Arnold
(SacredInkedBlood)

Ven Jencie Clifton Arnold

'uP'
Prayers are wing's to envelope our thoughts spoken or not to God's ear,
Every word He does indeed hear,
It can be a plea, a question, or just a statement or two, So lets lift one another up to God's loving ear's,
A prayer can erase your every fear, help us carry one another's burden with care,
So let's lift those uP feeling defeated because of these floods. In Your Holy Name I Pray, amen
I wrote this during Hurricane Florence along with several others. Let's lift one another up! © an hour ago, Venjencie Arnold ~SacredInkedBlood

"Depression" #writtenviaVenjencieArnold
                  I.
When your voice becomes raspy & dry with words that are empty, without meaning, Your eyes still see all,
Your ears still hear all,
Oh, close my eyes goodnight like you would to a soul that says goodnight, Stuff my ears so they may not hear the cries.

                II.
Oh lay my body down so it may not fall, I'm paralyzed without the slightest motion, in the same token I'm filled with boundless emotion, Movement of fears, Movement of tears, Oh lay my body down so it may not fall.

                III.
I feel as if when you look at me I've become less than the puppet that I once was, I feel as if when you look at me you see a body stuffed with straw, Oh lay this scarecrow down so it may not fall.

             IV.
I no longer hold shape, I'm bland without color, I'm unable to stand on my own, I used to be loved by so many that I've known, Only if my mind could follow my body's steps... no memory recall, Then I won't know if you choose to let my body fall.

               V.
My eyes hollow like those of the hollow stuffed men, My heart is beating, I'm still bleeding, I'm full of emotion like an explosion in the ocean. I have memory recall, My ears still hear all, My eyes still see all,  Oh lay a penny on my eyelids to secure them that may stay closed, Stuff my ears so they may never again be exposed.

               VI.
Lay me down with the worn out scarecrows or where the Lilly's grow, You no longer know that I use to be a human body with a brain, heart & soul, Oh just lay this body low, Maybe God will soon take my soul.

~SacredInkedBlood ©Oct042018 Venjencie Clifton Arnold

That is generous of you
to
request my insight on what you write,
please review my response with an un-ending mind.
So thank you but I must decline...
I read so much but mainly I just write.
I fear if I read your work, I would only find myself discouraged once again.
Understand that writing releases some of my inner pain,
It doesn't matter who's pain, why or from where it came,
I just have to let it out all the same.
It doesn't matter if it's for an injustice done against me or against another... I feel it all the same.                                        
For 1 example;
if the pain is about an injustice done to another then I don't question as to why they don't speak up. I figure I've had peace in my life, more than enough, to make up for what other's go without.
So see, I build up a little confidence, from time to time. Falsely convinced that I've talent in my own writing's & fooled to believe they would actually be of some help.
Then the blinders fall off when I start reading another's work,
revealing to me what, TALENT,
really means.
Then I put my pencils and my paper up along with my diluted ideas that I can help.
The emptiness swallows me when upon realizing, my words will never be read or heard.
They're not good enough. I write hoping to make a difference. So, I ask you, "what's the use in trying raise awareness for any purpose?"  
So yeah, then the depression coils within me turning into a knot,
it gets so tight that if I don't bounce to write, I might as well die.
In spite of trying to hold it in, my veins ink the blood out,
forced pulsating feelings and raw emotion's splatter into words.
I do feel that addressing one injustice at a time helps this world to be little more kind, if only for 1 at a time.
So, I'd rather stay on this same mirago round and not get off this time. I know once it stops, the pain resolves. But not really!
Only long enough to settle before it sour's
into depression. Recounting in my mind, I'm worthless, a fool, thinking my words could make a difference. At least not in this world much less for 1 person treated unkindly.
The mirago round stops and the world's the same. Nothing's changed so no, thank you... I'd rather spin deliriously, believing that I did 1 right thing, even if it's changing just 1 person's state of mind.
So instead of getting off to stand,
I'll stay on my delusional ride, unlike you at
least I'm not pretending to take a *ucking stand for what's right!
This is my answer in poetic form.
May God forgive for the profanity, at least it's not hypocrisy! Right? Oh I forget, the one's that
are in a postion are the ones who forget about serving for a mission,
they lack moral vision of what's right!
I guess then I bid you night.
#VenjencieArnold #SacredInkedBlood
#MyDelusionalRidewrittenbymeon
True!! I hate feeling this way. God forgive me if I'm wrong and help me to stay strong esp if I'm right.

Blessings, Venjencie © 4 months ago, new edit by me on ©09/23/2018 SacredInkedBlood

Cowards: Men who kick a woman(esp. after he's the 1 that drug her down).  You'd never suspect
it's the men with a good reputation around town.  If they're true & through bad they don't fight only women but their fist are enough for anyone who angers them enough... he'll try to take anyone down.
BUT it's a pure yellow-bellied coward sort that doesn't have what it takes to stand up to another, not for himself much less any other.
Lowest **** of all cowards are the ones who kick her like she's
a dog when she's on the ground,
  standing up over her like a tall tower,
feeling proud with
power.
If or when it's found out then she deserved it all. Oh yeah, without a doubt especially if she's already been down the abuse pattern route.    
When he kills her; appears justified because they say, she should have gotten out before she died.
But sure enough, it's a pure coward that'll kick
a woman & tell her that he should stomp her brain's out.  
     SCREAMING at her
     FORCING her to
answer his questions  when she's already too frightened to make a sound...
              knowing that no matter the answer she decides, it's just another excuse for him to slap her around, why? Because of course whatever answer will be
a lie,
I guess a coward must
be able to predict it's a
lie before any words
ever have to come out,
I guess she lied because she just wants to be slapped around.

Wait what's that sound?
  Oh it's death bells now
   they'll bury me in the
ground. Death is merely
peace that I've finally
found.
   ~SacredInkedBlood ©2018

Imprisoned by my Addiction'

The harmless things that causes an addiction that consumes, like cancer,

See my confession, about how my addictions are destroying my health, my life, my relationships and everything in between, the beginning absent of odor,
Spinning around my mortal being are vibrant healthy hues; yellow, blues and greens,

Thrusting me, flying sky high, only to nose dive instantly,
Wishing it to remain, My passion, my comfort one in the same; words that must be written.
We're programmed to all 3, reading, writing and pursuing passions ...important qualities to own,

Somehow captivating me,
I hardly eat, much less drink,
I'm overwhelmed to express thoughts into words,

Another relationship dies as the neglected ink dries.
A pale unnoticed ghost while present or maybe not,
Maybe my lover, the warden.

I come up for breath only long enough not to drown, reality hits, the ghost disappears,
I don't search, seek or try to persuade them to return,
I say every time, just let me get these words scribbled to vent, then after, I'll go and gather them up,

Compares to Christmas morn, green, red, gold, silver and blue,
the house, the tree, the gifts,
The house is adorned with eccentric polished crowns of refined jewels, interest fills you while rushing to open the shiny gifts, Uncontrollable enchanting words, enslaving, shoving the gifts against the glittered wall,

Chained in the same prison 24 hours later, exhausted, nearly comatose, I wrestle the sleep, becoming feeble, compelled to sleep, only to suddenly awaken, lunatic mode, panic stricken crazed rush, forced sleep, words got neglected, when there could have been much more!

Welcome to my addiction, the dark hole where words incarcerate tempting thoughts,
What, change the situation, you said to me? I'm handcuffed to pens that bleed, beleaguered by enticing verbiage.
~Venjencie Arnold -SacredInkedBlood
.
My life now. Writing, reading and research. I cant get enough. © 11 days ago, Venjencie Arnold   addiction • colors • prison • word • beleaguered

"MISS CAROLINE"
Humanity is rare,
in this world today,  
        loyalty is bare,
just listen to what
              people say! Most people seem soulless,
hearts callous.  
In the woods is where, I
find renewing of my mind
                                        and
                    ­                  spirit.
When I venture out,
I take one that is loyal,
                        trustworthy
                            ­     and
                                kind.
It doesn't fit well with
me that as an animal
                   she is defined.
My Miss Caroline has
more compassion
than these humans
     passing through.
She could teach the human  
race; all about true humanity with
grace.
So when you've lost your way
and your head is filled with the
world's noise, then don't forget
to return to that peaceful
place with a friend...
more human than the human
race.
A friend like mine
that is loyal
until the end of time.

When i venture out,
I take one that is
loyal, trustworthy
& kind.
It doesn't fit well with me
that as an animal she's defined. ~SacredInkedBlood©

"Moments"
That moment
or is it this moment,
the next moment,
That defines how you define, that moment, in your life? ~SacredInkedveins
"Moments," written in a moment on 04/25/2017 in another moment of sleeplessness. Okay enough of that word. Blessings, me © 12 hours ago   life • moment • family • random • misc

"Children Out To Play"
(written 04/23/18)

Everyday becoming more hot,
Children out to play,
Running in & out a lot,
Letting the cool air escape away!

The taste of wild honeysuckles in their mouth,
Dandelions stuck in their hair,
Making wishes without a care,
Their brows evident of the sun's glare!

Giggles turn into cry's,
Play turns into childhood fights,
They've overdone it now,
Over indulgence play her hand;
using the rebirth of spring.

Hypnotized by the grassy green hills,
Covered with new blooms of daffodils,
Time to gather them inside to sit still,
The children will sleep good tonight.
~SacredInkedBlood

I'm PRO-GOD His truths are written in my heart!
So why do you tear my every word apart? Hmmm... so I'm-Semitism, I'm anti-God, I'm anti-American and anti-peace?
Do tell me then, who is pro western media, pro-mass destruction, and Pro-Zionist in the 5th columns in the USA, today? How do those last 3 spell  peace in anyway?

I have been accused of falling for everything because I do not stand for something; as the sayin goes... I ask my accusers to play that in reverse. Maybe those that claim stand for something are falling for Satan's curse.
l opened up my Facebook today and here's what the message had to "Sorry but, FBI, has been removed from your approved words that you can search." I think I can finish the word of what I was looking for, "FBI," wasn't even anything close to what I was looking for.
So you take my freedom to express what I stand for? #TruestorybymeaboutwhathappenedtomeyesterdayonApril8th201

Needs vs Wants:      They say, everyone, needs somebody. So they say. If that's the case then what I want is: I don't want to need anybody! ~me 4182018

Yeah, I agree with you,
So why you got to yell?
Yeah, I said your right,
What else can I do?
You just wanna fight!
Oh whatever, what the hell?
Did you just say we're through?
That's fine I'll walk that line!
No, plz believe I can walk,
Yeah, there's no reason to
reasonably talk,
Here's your ring,
Your castle is all your's my king!

Now halfway to the road,
You take me into hold?
Hold up, this is enough!
I'm tired of this ****,
Tomorrow you'll apologize & say it was because you were lit!
Happens every time, getting tired
of this same rhyme,
Go ahead & just **** me this time,
Keep choking me until I'm past passed out!
Do what you're always bragging about!

Great just what I thought,
I'm still going to wake up,
like the morning afterthought!

When I write, you say, "it's a reflection,"
When I write, you say, "it's an affliction;              
       it mirror's my heart's true direction."
YOU prophesied my soul's final
destination!                    
                                ­               

Will you be there to witness the outcome      
                             of your own prediction?

"I'm just another puppet,
  I'm just another tool; like a pigeon on  
          the Devil's stool, one more
                               fool that, The Master of
                                                     Deception,
                          uses to create confusion!"

I must fail miserably for it not to be a clandestine activity!

Who am I to argue with someone, who    
     has a set of detective tools, like you?  I'd hate to be so objective, besides,
who wants to be that predictive?
Surely not me, surely not you!
             ~Venjencie NightWriter69

"Freezing Pain"
I keep running in circles,
What happened to miracles?
The state done took the baby away,
I have no more strength to pray,
I'm tip-toeing over broken bottles,
Still alive after many throttles,
Trying to numb this freezing pain,
I can't flush these pills down the drain,
All of them I could swallow,
Your happy but I wallow,
No, can't say I wish you the best,
Your sleeping with her yet I can't rest,
She's gonna throw you away like trash,
And then you'll come running back in a flash,
Don't bother I have nothing left to give,
This insanity gives me no reason to live,
Don't bother trying to come back to my bed,
Because I will already be dead. ~ Night Writer

"Inked Vein's Bleeding Sins"      
(written by me on April8th2018).

  You mentioned, "Why write 'coz
            nobody even reads
   them much less clicks like,"
   Maybe that shouldn't be a
     question, maybe you ask...
        who are you writing for,
       them? or for you & your
                soul's sanity?
   If you answered, 'for them'
  then maybe it's not your
                 reality? 
 I write 'coz my inked blood vein's bleed what everyone calls
                        sin;
I write for their sins, I write for mine, I write the sins committed  by soul's since the beginning of time. I don't write to make up some dope thyme. I bleed the sins committed by soul's before
          the beginning of time.
I write about sins committed by all mankind; those committed in heaven, in earth, under earth
   and everything in between.
  I know our ONE & Only Perfect REDEEMER, already shed His precious blood to cover all sins
               like a flood.
  I write for the sanity of my afflicted mind, I write from the blood that's on the sword that pierced my very soul.
I write so maybe our sins can be covered & we're made whole. I write 'coz I feel God's Holy Spirit in my soul. I write to claim His
       victory; that keeps Satan's
     demons away from the my soul.
                     ~Venjencie©

//All Or Nothing//
      Don't tell me you love me,
        Even if you feel it to be,
      Wait until the seeds you've
         sown are already grown,
             I want you to say it,
     Only when it can be fully shown,
I don't need pieces of my heart strown
                       everywhere,
          I need a love 100% here,
     Not a little here and a little there,
     Don't worry because I'm grown,
     I learned not live on love alone,
             My love for you is true,
        But I'd rather do without it,
           Instead of destroying me.
                                           ~VenJencie

You're right, it was a lie, a joke,
It's a hysterical sight when I forget, so I sigh,
It was a hoax...
I love to sleep 14 to 70 hours each day and how much I weigh, That's just a positive gain,
How'd you know I never had pain?
I purposely cancel plans at the end,
Who'd want to keep friends?
I just lie about it to seek attention,
being called a liar was my whole intention...
I am not sick or tired,
I just enjoy being called lazy, it's good for my self-esteem... when I do get out to look pale and wearing no makeup,
I no longer care about.
You can't see the illness on the outside, you can't see my body attacking itself, healthy brain cells killing oneself, so I made up the autoimmune disease by myself...
No need to look forward to remissions, good health doesn't need omission,  
No need to ask for prayer, for what's wrong with me(on my behalf), they'll find a cure, after all , my cells are pure, and you can't see the disease that I have.

Glad I made you laugh,
When God heals and take's it away,
Then you'll know I never had it anyway. -Jencie

I remember those fears,
During those years,
Making coffee for your cup,
My belly so tense and tight,
Crying hours before you got up,
I knew what was coming even if
I did get it right,
The taste of blood from my nose,
It was too hot or too cold,
The bruising on my cheek,
It was too strong or too weak,
Or maybe not sweet enough
to suit your taste,
Burns when you threw it on my skin,
Years of coffee made joy a waste,

Now making coffee causes me to grin, This time the man on the receiving end,

Says it's perfect everytime with a big Ole grin.

"migliore"
   come fai a sapere se il tuo meglio era abbastanza buono se non fosse abbastanza buono ~Venjencie©                      

(translated from Italian into English below);

                 "Best"
      How do you know if your best is good enough if it was not enough? ~ Venjencie©

#miglioreBestWrittenByMeAbtMeOn04122018AnnaVenjen­cie

I am gonna say this the best I can, Man, I don't even know where to begin, On my face there is a grin, Yet I feel ate up with sin, I look in the mirror, I see broken, You can't see it when you look at me, That I feel lost  as can be, I write these stupid rhymes And I don't even like mine, On the inside I feel terror,
The thing is I'm so happy, But something in me is empty,
I finally have a good life, I am a proud wife,
Still not a dime in my name, But happy just the same,
My soul is soaked with rain,  Because my heart cries from pain, Then when no one is home, All day somedays I sit here, And I cry outloud and alone, There is so much I miss, And darker grows the abyss,
No need to mention all that I miss, Because I can't go back to reteieve any of this, People, name's, memories and could be's, I always carry them with me,
I can try to be bad with a frozen heart,
It don't work when I try to play the part,
I wished I could, I wished I was,
Was so bad without a care,
If I could then I wouldn't have to wish I was,
Because yeah then I would,
I don't know me,
I know what some other's see,
When I glady go down to my grave,
No one will shed any tears,
I doubt any of the one's I love will even be there,
I don't even see them now,
I pray God takes me soon somehow.
                                       -Ven Jencie Arnold

Cute lil pig tails with her lil red wagon,
Freckled face waited to play all day,
He followed her to and fro,
She didn't have a word to say,      
6 years down the road, He still loved Hope,  
She rode her red bike everyday, He put a
flower in her basket without delay, She still
didnt have a word to say, 3 years later in his
red car, he gave her ride to school and back everyday, She would smile and wave, Still
never had a word to say,  5 years later on
their wedding day Gracefully stood at the
alter, And not a word she had to say, Not with her mouth anyway, With her hands she signed,
I love you, Then with tears in her eyes, Used
her hands to reply, I do, To his ears it was the most beautiful words his heart ever heard her say. ~ Anna VenJencie Arnold.

Another poem leaks out of my eye,
Why tonight, I cry?
No matter how hard I fight,
It still rolls down my cheek tonight,
Forcing my ink to write,
Poetry disguised in the form of tears,
Now on paper as a charcoal's smear,
They travel from within my heart,
They gush out and up breaking it all apart,
Then they make it up to my eye,
From my lid's they drip,
Forming into ink from my finger's tip,
What happened to gravity?
Another night's catastrophe.
                                        ~ VenJencie (01/26/18)