I must not be alone
In the struggle to say no
Catching on my lips
Stuck between my teeth
Which turns to a yes
Before I can think
To not disappoint
To please others
I say yes
Yes is a bother
Cowards: Men who kick a woman(esp. after he's the 1 that drug her down). You'd never suspect
it's the men with a good reputation around town. If they're true & through bad they don't fight only women but their fist are enough for anyone who angers them enough... he'll try to take anyone down.
BUT it's a pure yellow-bellied coward sort that doesn't have what it takes to stand up to another, not for himself much less any other.
Lowest **** of all cowards are the ones who kick her like she's
a dog when she's on the ground,
standing up over her like a tall tower,
feeling proud with
If or when it's found out then she deserved it all. Oh yeah, without a doubt especially if she's already been down the abuse pattern route.
When he kills her; appears justified because they say, she should have gotten out before she died.
But sure enough, it's a pure coward that'll kick
a woman & tell her that he should stomp her brain's out.
SCREAMING at her
FORCING her to
answer his questions when she's already too frightened to make a sound...
knowing that no matter the answer she decides, it's just another excuse for him to slap her around, why? Because of course whatever answer will be
I guess a coward must
be able to predict it's a
lie before any words
ever have to come out,
I guess she lied because she just wants to be slapped around.
Wait what's that sound?
Oh it's death bells now
they'll bury me in the
ground. Death is merely
peace that I've finally
The day that coward finally puts me in the ground is the day that peace will have no bounds. Not goodbye, so don't cry, just goodnight until it's time for everyone to fly.
lying is forcing back the ‘i love you’s on my tongue like im closing my eyes so hard i can only see black
it’s feeling the giddiness of admiration and love for you and telling you i hate you
it’s empty insults laced with adoration that i hope you won’t notice
my love has become a lie again
it has been pushed far back and it’s reaching out again, hoping you’ll see it
i want to believe there will be a time for my love to be free
when i can love you with my entire self and you will want that too
but for now it’s hiding
for now it’s pain
for now it’s pretending
Behind this smile I use to comfort others
Lies a deep rooted pain
Wherever I go
Wherever I turn
This façade is going to burn
Burning me up
It’s my love for you
Deep within my heart I know it’s truth
You are no longer
But lingering on in the depths of my Rebel Heart
Darling I miss you
I keep on smiling pretending not to see
That even after you are gone with him
You are still hurting me
My love for you will burn me up
I smelt my burning flesh
I saw my rotting bones
I saw my decay
I still kept on smiling
My life as of last has been and eye opening, head first dive of exploration interrupted by one, sometimes two day long binges of unpleasant sobriety.
Three long years after writing the first stanza,
The drugs still being explored
This has led me to a more beautiful understanding of myself and my few remaining friends
However it seems that I have taken a significant tumble down the socioeconomic ladder
At least my writing has gotten neater
No longer shaken by the withdrawal of a still desired drug
Alcohol has a way of calming and inspiring me
Bringing forth the thoughts I cannot make into sound
My few remaining friends cut down into a seemingly impossible smaller number
I now awake in the night with cold sweats that interrupt my slumber.
Dreams of panic and anxiety, Now clouded with past faces.
Personifications of things inside me
Faces made of thoughts and feelings, Taking over occupied spaces
Forcing out the beautiful and imaginative
Subconscious taking charge, So the conscious may live.
It's hard to keep *going
When things fall apart
But I"ll just keep podding* on
Even when the *road is **rough
go continue doing wat u was doin
obviously we werent texting
u werent ready to text me.
so dont force urself to txt me
until i pop into ur mind nd u want to have a conversation.
Mama couldn't save me, daddy did so he couldn't raise me
I'm still tripping off them hoes that played me
Same ******* fronting on me when I had my baby
It's crazy, and ****** say they made me
Taking credit from my mama, **** amaze me
How ****** talking down when I'm not around
But every time I'm in the building, schhh, not a sound
I line my haters up and clap them down
That choppa have ***** dancing like he Bobby Brown
I'm well-respected in my city, even out of town
And don't ever tuck my chain
*****, how that sound? How that look?
We don't live by the book, we just live by the code
A lot of ****** got exposed when feds came through
They was dropping names too
****** say I changed up but I'm with the same crew
I was always told to get the money and remain you
Never let these ***** ****** tell you what you can't do
Every time they said that I left, that was when I came through
Range new, .38 special when the flame blew
Just in case I gotta flame you
What a feeling when them people tryna frame you
Lock you in a cell when detain you
Rather die before I go out working like I'm Django
This was from my student Bryan Tishobi... he's black. Hence why the N Word was used..... HE FORCED ME TO DO THIS OR HE'D SHOOT MY ***. Should I call the cops???
she lost her heart in things not persons
she lost her soul in moments not humans
today everything came to an end
they forced me to make a decison
not asking about what I wanted
and they didn't even realize all this
dragged me more into the dark than I allready was
making a pact with the devil sounded like the best option
maybe the only option I have left, maybe he can save me
thinking about the past always made me feel sick
but tomorrow I will realize I am still living there, in the past
after a while they let me alone, with all my thoughts
the light was dark and the room was empty, it was just me
empty like my soul and dark like my heart
I need to take a break, to get away from this place for a while
accepting who you are is a hard thing to do, but I will
someone told me there is nothing wrong with being yourself
and I hope the people around me will think I am good enough
because I am
and you don't even realize how bad you making me feel
Same old tired