I could fill a million reams
Writing of those unspoken dreams
Those that were and those that will be
Dreams, perhaps, I never stopped to see

Dream of sunshine cutting through a cold night
The hope that no matter what it will work out right
Hoping I will catch just a little stardust
As in the unborn morning, I place my trust

A road so long with shades so few
And I try to balance as I stumble on the dew
I dream to make it to the other side
Hell, no one promised, it would be a smooth ride

So again today, the heat waves I will fight
And try tiding the storm with all my might
Yet again today I will stretch a few meters more
Who knows.... I might not be far away from the shore!

Its been a tough thought lately
Things keep constantly changing
As they should

As life mills over another season
We stand
Waiting to reap from the seeds we had sown

Waiting for consistent reality to
do something different
spark a little sort of essence

Residing somewhere beneath a cold skin

Singing for sweet sweet nothing's

Always hoping for a sensual happening

This is where we stop to think -
Dont think, this mosquito is ******* me off
Right brain sting

Im going to go work on my pc

But lastly,

never stop seeking.

so there they sit,
drawing like idiots,
without a care in the world.
drooling, coughing, smiling
laughing, shrieking.
like life is an all you can eat buffet.
the things they have to look forward to:
heartbreak, health insurance, taxes, rent, a tedious
job, a loveless marriage, the death of a loved one - and then their own.
so I walk up to them and break their crayons,
to warn them of the evils of this world,
and they cry.
now they know how the world works.
but then then the pretty blonde waitress brings them another crayon.
they stop wailing, get distracted,
move on.
and I'm bitter because a pretty blonde lady isn't handing me any crayons, or paying my rent, or laying in my bed.
and those kids
never worked at Denny's, got evicted, or got their car stolen.
- they have earned nothing.
and those kids
have never had ***, drank beer, climbed a mountain, or carried their lives in a backpack
- they have lived nothing.
and the waitress hands me my receipt,
and I smirk,
because she scribbled a note on it:

"415-555-3827
call me,
Stacy

PS that was the last crayon."

•heartbreak hurts like a ***** because you let it...

You allowed it to consume your joy and happiness within yourself. You let someone else become the holder of your every fiber.. now you know that heartbreak is only brought on by yourself.

•people do what they want to do....

Regardless of anything that you know about a person, they can always surprise you. Don't take life too seriously, you are not the only one who is stubborn or independent.

•never ever EVER underestimate the power of being a woman..

Woman like the person you will become.. are the sole beginning to every mans life.  You are an earth walking-god created machine that was given the purpose of creating more life.. where would they be without us?

•karma is real, so play your cards right..

"WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES RIGHT BACK AROUND..", "love thy neighbor as you would love thyself." Whatever you put into this world, will be spit back at you.. think think think.

•I can become extremely emotional..

... and yes it can be challenging, but it has also made me love deeper than I ever thought I could.  Have sympathy for situations that most people would look past. I FEEL EVERYTHING. But I love infinitely.  To a fault, but god may say the opposite.  


•I will always be okay.

Just breathe and be present.

Discipline your mind to think rationally and realistically
Let your reasons rhyme and your rhymes never be without reason
Resist resistance and render all rendering rendered
Be relentless with repentance,
righting every wrong until there’s only room for rewards
Whether god sent or godless be on guard regardless
Rearrange the soul of your renegade, show him how to be a real man
Until the distribution of retribution, this is the restitution
And remember, you are who you think

I’ve never felt so stressed in my life
felt so much pressure
To perform

I’ve always felt anxious to amount to them
To relate

I’ll never be what I always wanted I wanted to be someone, without trying, without mistakes
To be perfect

I’ve learned to prioritize
The only person who can always root for you is yourself
To be honest


I’ve only recently learned to care for me
So please don’t ask me why I’m not doing something that they are

I’m me and they’re them.
We will never equate.
I’ll make sure of that.