That is generous of you
request my insight on what you write,
please review my response with an un-ending mind.
So thank you but I must decline...
I read so much but mainly I just write.
I fear if I read your work, I would only find myself discouraged once again.
Understand that writing releases some of my inner pain,
It doesn't matter who's pain, why or from where it came,
I just have to let it out all the same.
It doesn't matter if it's for an injustice done against me or against another... I feel it all the same.
For 1 example;
if the pain is about an injustice done to another then I don't question as to why they don't speak up. I figure I've had peace in my life, more than enough, to make up for what other's go without.
So see, I build up a little confidence, from time to time. Falsely convinced that I've talent in my own writing's & fooled to believe they would actually be of some help.
Then the blinders fall off when I start reading another's work,
revealing to me what, TALENT,
Then I put my pencils and my paper up along with my diluted ideas that I can help.
The emptiness swallows me when upon realizing, my words will never be read or heard.
They're not good enough. I write hoping to make a difference. So, I ask you, "what's the use in trying raise awareness for any purpose?"
So yeah, then the depression coils within me turning into a knot,
it gets so tight that if I don't bounce to write, I might as well die.
In spite of trying to hold it in, my veins ink the blood out,
forced pulsating feelings and raw emotion's splatter into words.
I do feel that addressing one injustice at a time helps this world to be little more kind, if only for 1 at a time.
So, I'd rather stay on this same mirago round and not get off this time. I know once it stops, the pain resolves. But not really!
Only long enough to settle before it sour's
into depression. Recounting in my mind, I'm worthless, a fool, thinking my words could make a difference. At least not in this world much less for 1 person treated unkindly.
The mirago round stops and the world's the same. Nothing's changed so no, thank you... I'd rather spin deliriously, believing that I did 1 right thing, even if it's changing just 1 person's state of mind.
So instead of getting off to stand,
I'll stay on my delusional ride, unlike you at
least I'm not pretending to take a *ucking stand for what's right!
This is my answer in poetic form.
May God forgive for the profanity, at least it's not hypocrisy! Right? Oh I forget, the one's that
are in a postion are the ones who forget about serving for a mission,
they lack moral vision of what's right!
I guess then I bid you night.
True!! I hate feeling this way. God forgive me if I'm wrong and help me to stay strong esp if I'm right.
Blessings, Venjencie © 4 months ago, new edit by me on ©09/23/2018 SacredInkedBlood
The feeling is heavy. The thing is that I still get off of this delusional ride/mirago round to take a stand but there's not too many other people that try to understand or care about the injustices done against others. Blessings, gn.