Someone was once able to create a chemical excitement within me//

Like when I looked at him I could see the power radiating from inside his skin//

And when he looked at me I could feel his stare in the deepest part of my gut//

Or when he touched me the power fled from his skin to mine //

Or when our lips met I could feel the electricity burning my flesh in the most beautiful way//

And when he said my name
The words rushed out of his mouth to create artworks in the air above us

Consisting of the most vibrant colors

causing a rush of energy flowing through my blood stream//

Someone was once able to create a synthetic exhilaration within me//

And in darkness she was most comfortable, it was where her demon friends came out to play/
it was where her notions and reality combined to create this prepossessing paradise

What do you like doing on weekends Mahdiya?

Well, I find nauseating pleasure spending time loving people who were created to never love back.

I am honored to have been merged with such a well crafted human being

I WANT TO BE THE REASON YOUR BONES THAT ARE ATTACHED TO YOUR GUMS APPEAR ,TO BLESS HUMANITY AS A LIVING, BREATHING STAR BLESSES OUR DULL EARTH

                                                          ­  AND WHEN SPEAK OF ME I WANT YOUR SOUL TO POUR OUT OF YOUR TENDER LIPS GRACEFULLY BUT VIVID LIKE A WATERFALL

Bleed my name
Every single blood cell should crave my loving
Need me
[I need you to need me ]

Everything mystified, the colors of the atmosphere merged into one another and all I could focus on was how good you made me feel.

You **** with the balance of chemicals in my brain

You control the pace of which my blood flows in my arteries

You possess my body without being physically present

Goodnight
I hope you fall into a thick dreamland where the colours of reality begin to mistify and the hues of your temporal paradise begin to solidify.
May you weep with excitement due to the aura it brings, may you find contentment in the air as you wake and may my love reach you ~ half across the world

I WILL BE THE MATCH TO YOUR FIRE//

I SHALL BE THE HEAT THAT EMITS

ABOVE AND ALL AROUND YOUR FLAME//

I SHALL MOVE AND SWAY

UNCONTROLLABLY LIKE A MUSE

THAT OBEYS THEIR MASTER//

I SHALL SWEAR MY HEAT TO PROTECT YOU

TO KEEP YOUR ICHOR FROM FREEZING

TO KEEP YOUR SOUL SNUG, ALWAYSS//

I SHALL BE INDESTRUCTIBLE

and i only ask of you

to not ponder on why...

i am so threatening

I WILL BE THE MATCH TO YOUR FIRE//

and i only ask of you ..

to not ever be the reason

my flame extinguishes.

The funny this is
Regardless of how many cigarettes I smoke , my lungs still remember the pattern that you made me breathe

The lilac sky still holds the memories of the days where you looked up and saw a jungle in a minute number of leaves ( I always loved how you looked when you didn't try )

My hands sometimes plead and moan due to your touch being absent.

And regardless of how much time I spend on convincing myself that I do not miss you , it all comes running back.
The fact that no one will ever have me as vulnerable or innocent as you once had me .

Lastly thank you for showing me that happiness can be found in someone else , sometimes even when we are not looking for it

Maybe I was so scared that he'd stop loving me
- I pushed him away instead

I can't shake you from my bones
I can feel you within me
Within my veins
Flowing steadily

I can hear you in my head
As loud as a babies cry in the earliest morning

I can't shake you from my bones
I can feel you within me
Within my veins
Flowing steadily

I see you in my thoughts
Like a musician creating composures that cause ones ears to bleed of euphoria

I can't shake you from my bones
I can feel you within me
Within my veins
Flowing steadily

I can't shake you from my bones
You are now ingraved in me

I can feel you within me
Feeding off my sadness

Within my veins
******* me dry

Leaving me with nothing to flow

I can't feel...
.
.
.
.
I am numb

Don't you notice how when I hug you I hesitate to let go , this is because in that exact moment everything f
                                                a              ­                              
                                  ­                 l
                                                     l
                                                       s
away and I am attached to you , like our emotional connection becomes visible and I do not let go because I do not want that integration to deform.

The smell of the droplets from the unknown

The trees and leaves combine by the wetness , they appear to be cuddling

There is so much beauty in the darkness

When the water falls it's like the
ENTIRE WORLD IS RELEASING ALL ITS HEARTBREAK .

4am
Thoughts of you are dangling off the edge of my cerebrum creating anarchic drapes

" Should of taken acid with you, glued our tongues and become undone "

Should of taken ecstasy with you, discover aspects of euphoria you were always afraid to touch//

Should of taken ******* with you, become one with the worldly elements, talk to the sun as if the same blood ran within//

Should of taken shrooms with you, allow your toxic thoughts to breath along side the explosive stars//

Should have ...
but didn't.
So now, I will suffer withdrawals of your destructing presence.

You are like a spell book

With hidden messages

In exotic languages

And faded font

But I will continue practicing this witchcraft for the enchantment of your love to flow through my fingertips

"What is your perception of art? " he asked

I replied " when my name will be carved on your lips in a soft cursive "

Fall for a poet because-
She will place her soft, tense lips upon your flesh and it will cause a burning sensation like no other
( due to the most beautiful poetry being engraved upon you. Quite like a tattoo )

//

Fall for a poet because-
Her words will possess such power.
The power to erupt volcanoes within you
( also she will know how to cause earthquakes that cause violent storms  which result in storms blazing hard in your very eyes )

//

Fall for a poet because-
I gurentee you that you will never find a raw-er form a love. A love that is so kind and so pure
( a love that has the potential to wreck beautiful art or create breathing trees )

//

Do yourself a favour darling,
Fall for a poet because-
Pieces of you will now be found in all that she creates.

I slowly began to realize that he would rather invite the demons under his bed to laze in his sheets than come to me

A me that would lay my guts out flat
A me that would bleed for him until my veins were so dry they ached and I could hear them crack

I remembered he was always scared of being loved ~so he would rather have someone's skin against his raw flash than my eyes on him
He would rather taste her lips than let my arm feel his bones

He was scared of me~
Because I knew what he really was

~ I am chaos and I will ****** your tranquility.
~ I am drugs and I will cause you to feel withdrawals.
~ I am love and I will teach you to admire yourself.

~~ I am the perfect balance of the bad and the good this temporal world has to offer.

           NOW LET ME LOVE YOU.

The universe has favored me .
I have pride in such a gift
Like the earths milky ways and thousands of colliding stars have fought against each other creating such a disturbance
You are a disguising piece of such a beautiful collision
And you have taught me how to love

Maybe it was god who punished me
In giving me pride in such a gift
Like you are the most ruined creation
But I have found pride in the spaces of your fingertips
He had gifted you to me as a sin
A sin that would flow from my lips
And settle as lust in my eyes
A sin that draws in attention without trying
A wreck that was made to never give

But I have disregarded all the burning buildings and I have chosen to see you for your mess
In your collision of colour and insecurity I have found what was made to fit me

Me ?
A born , disturbance
Just like you.
Full of insecurity and an unflattering mixture of hues.

1:13am
I could say I love you a billion times, I could engrave it on the sun or scream it into space until my lungs lost all air - making it known to all life forms.
This would still not convey the intensity of emotion I feel towards you.
My love for you is incomprehensible, it is not tangible . It surrounds you like light.

You do not comprehend how extraordinary you are.

I don't think you ever will because your being cannot be fathomed or concealed or packaged it is beyond understanding.

You are abstract even though you are so real.

I have sat and watched people do the same things , but I fell in love with how the air begged to enter your lungs.

I was once introduced to a beautiful violence. I craved the way his mouth would leave bruises on my skin, these bruises reminded me of infinities , dark and twisted.

I wanted to engrave my name into his flesh forever.

I liked how he touched me, his hands didn't gently brush over my skin , he embraced my whole body harshly.

I wanted to pierce my nails into his skin forever.

I desired his aggressive approach and how he often called me **** instead of beautiful.

I enjoyed feeling desired.
And I wanted to feel it forever.

When i wrote about you , I always used metaphors regarding the worldly elements.

This was because my mind could not comprehend your beauty,
It always used to associate it with something close-by ...

Like  your passion and how it soared harder than the wind , or the tone of your voice in the late hours of the night, it was course and hard like grains of sand.
Or how when we held hands , our skin glided above our bones like slow rivers flowing downhill.

I still cannot comprehend your beauty ...or the fact that something as astonishing as the brightest star could be as destrustrive as the most frustrated fire .

It's like being stuck in a forest with all you need
We are in isolation
And the say isolation is the worst kind of punishment

~ I love the way you punish me ~

because instead of her lips, her words will send you to dream land

the infliction of her voice will cause your heart to ramble

her tone will send chills down the middle of your magenta scars

~
Fall for a poet because //
Her word choice will make you feel as if you are art

As if you have been sewn
As if your skin tone was created by the experiment of combining multiple browns and beiges

That , that scar on your forehead is simply a watermark scribbled by the great architect

~
Fall for a poet because//
when she does touch you , you will be swallowed by her embrace and washed away to a forever .

Everything screamed your name

The drops of water and the breathing leaves

And in that moment I had realized that the universe favors some souls , by placing the earth inside of them

You keep me ~grounded~

There is always a reason to why we feel a certain way.
Sometimes we do not express it because we are afraid to meet it face to face, we are scared of confronting the mere thing that makes us weak.

Other times,
We do not because we get too comfortable in our sadness, we become too familiar playing the victim

But regardless of what we choose it eats us up like how a leech nibbles on flesh and without expression your heart can never recover .

You seem to leave scars on the inside of my flesh , they cut from the inside out , not the other way around .

We are magical
We are merged
This bond is inhumane

And I love you and that is enough

Sometimes we meet people//

And their laugh seems to bring a sort of lightness into your brief universe//

And when they smile the sun seems to be jealous due to the vibrance of this very act//

And the breeze envies the gracefulness of this persons movement//

And when they speak the words flow out of their mouths as airy as clouds seem to be effortlessly floating in the above//

Sometimes we meet people who cause our thoughts to rumble and they confuse our emotions//

Sometimes we meet people who bring us absolute and utter bliss//

Sometimes we meet people who influence us to to think and feel all sorts paranormal things//

Sometimes poverty unites not nations
but merely two people//
Intoxicants when overused break families as waves break on the shore//
Their drug now becomes their love//
And you are equivalent to nothing in their perceived reality//
It either makes the users surrounding guests mature profound strong souls
As strong as the Pedi army stood against the British and Boer to protect their land//
Or it causes them to transfer to their own twisted but illusionistic universe where all they see is darkness and despondency//

And then one day//
The money begins to run out
and so do the people//
But rarely, oh so rarely some humans make the decision to stay and continue the journey//
Where the road may potentially split into two//
recovery or relapse//

Sometimes poverty unites not nations
but merely two people//

The money has begun to exhale into the earths atmosphere
just as a stoner exhales his poisonous vapour into our airspace//
Some stay behind to help the corrupt mortal//

No money equals no substances//
No ******* or cat or cannabis or crack or codeine//
No drugs//

Then//

Two beings begin to ignite each other's fires
they learn the things they didn't know for the what felt like a million and seventy years//
They begin to discover how the one mispronounces words
and how certain songs cause ones soul to sway as the bass drops
or how ones hair whirls as the wind rushes through it
or how he can see the depths of the her soul through the eyes
and when she stares at the moon
her beauty is illuminated by the magical glow//

And then one day//
The money starts returning//
Creepily and discretely
the evil money
the tragedious money//
Like an evil monster emerging from hell
Where its dark and *****//

The money blows out the fire they have ignited
and slowly lures the user back//
The bond is now broken//

Sometimes poverty unites not nations
but merely two people//

Her identity shall remain anonymous /
coz' it is the only way her demons come out from hiding in order to play /
they dance in the darkness and sing in the silence /

then //
they begin capture her /
slowly and discretely /
they cut her up through her notions and they begin to baptize her thoughts/

then they begin to swim towards her emotions /
she weeps with pain /
blood flows from her wrists and her heart begins to cry / her blood flows as the rivers flow into the oceans \

as each drop falls she begins to loose herself minutely / someone once asked ' why so profound '

she replied why not ?

Some people study others and                  then they have the secrets on how to destroy them.

            Often they don't and this is love.

I swear this boy does not deserve my poems
He deserves something bigger
His might deserves to be known
He deserves sections in library's

And to be acknowledged by children
They need to be taught about the wars he created by the power in his step
They need to be taught about the chemistry of connection
Of how his atoms captured mine
They need to believe in the magic , the merge of cells that become one
They need to study the science behind love
and then ...
They need to realise that it's not comprehensible it's just magical.

Trickle down my wrist
Down to the dark abyss
             There you will meet
With the sorrow of defeat

Okay so you know in life we are given people right ?
And sometimes they are just accessories, they serve no actual purpose they are just present for decoration

And other times people are placed in our paths to mould us
Very few people have moulded me
But you are one of the most extreme impacts

Emotionally first , like you make me weak even though I have built myself to become so rigid
You have contributed to my personality in a thousand different ways ( you may not notice it )

And I am still baffled because it is not human-like for a being to impact another so greatly

So thank you , for being a part of my process

If it is the plan of the universe to continue having you on my path

OR
if it is tragic

I want you to remember something
I WILL ALWAYS FIND PIECES OF YOU IN MYSELF,
IN MY SURROUNDINGS
I will find your smile in the glow of the sun
Or your chaos in thunder
I will think of you when I see dust particles in faint sun rays
Or when night falls
I will always crave you when a wave hits the shore
I will feel your touch glide above my bones
Or remember how you burnt your love along the flesh of my lips and at the tip of my tongue

I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU IN EVERYTHING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE
ENGRAVED MY MIND

When I first observed the rare glass like shimmer in your eyes, I was unaware that in a few months I would look into those very eyes and fantasize on how they'd look in the morning when the only thing you'd view was my messy hair.

When I first observed the rare pink your lips carried, I was unaware that in a few months I'd kiss them and I'd taste the deviness of the creator , unaware that I would like that flavor to fuel my everyday for the rest of my life

When I first observed the rare combination of lines on your palms, I was unaware that in a few months I would envision paint in the incisions , paint from our new apartment.

When I first observed you
I was unaware that in a few months
I would begin to see the rest of my breathing days

It always baffled me on how women returned to their violent lovers

And then I realized I was just as foolish//

I had returned to you when you beat my heart to a pulp

When you violently murdered my trust

When you exiled and disregarded my emotions.

-But you see
I am like the sea
Because the shore sends her away everyday and yet she comes rushing back

Sometimes I want the oxygen to stop

~ dependence , a six word story

On these lonely nights I look up to the sky and all I hear is the stars screaming your name , my dear .

The entire universe flows from inside your soul to my core when we kiss

I've always reaked of instability
From the time I was little
I didn't have a home

So when I got older I made homes of people who were never made to stay .

I put up a blockade to save myself from my childhood
... to forget all the late night screaming and the white residue on the kitchen counter
It guarded out the pretty Sunday mornings and the strong rays of uv light on my mums red hair

But then you came ,
I made a home out of you
And I was so comfortable
That my my subconscious unlocked
And we had access to my mind

I remembered then , I remembered everything