i cannot help but feel
that i am clinging to
a corpse
after the dog has died

the flesh is
rotting
and my bed
reeks
but i cannot help
but come back
to this
every night

i love him still.

still
because it does not move
still
because it does not reach him
still
because it is not ignited
by the fire
within his fingertips

i love him still
and he loves me not.

bandages
dont do
much
for a
wound
aside from
hiding
them

you made me
play dead
so many times
that when i finally
died
you didnt even
realize

she has a few friends -
a pair of earphones,
and a red devil brand
box cutter

she only smiles
when you ask whats wrong,
and talks to her pillow
about her day

until one day
the sun rises
and peaks through
her bedroom windows
only to find
that she will
never rise again.

they always said
her voice sounded like
flowers blooming
in the dead of december
and her hair was long
and gold
like spring,

but behind her
curtains of hair
they spoke of
a supposed
venomous tongue
slipping through
her angelic
vocal cords
and a mistake or two
that they put on display -

so no wonder
she retreated
to an eternal
hibernation
where they only knew
of her warm voice
and her ethereal,
golden hair.

i cannot continue
to search
for someone to
hold
when i could
fill my hands
with all of the stars
of the galaxy above

you always
tell me
to let go
of the past,
but what you
do not realize
is that
i already have;
i am just
waiting
for it
to let go
of me

i just
want to
stay home

the world
is full of
*******
that want to
break your heart

and
ex-girlfriends
that want to
break your face

i just
want to
stay home

id rather not
waste
the make up

the wolves sing
for me to indulge
in these animalistic tendencies

to crush your skull
to rip out your throat
to inhale the beast

i am not ashamed
to dance in your blood
as it is the same shade
as good luck

ive convinced
everyone
but myself
that i no longer
care

everyone wants
to slip away
casually -

but you cant
slip through
the cracks
without earning
a few scrapes

if youre caught
between a rock
and a hard place,
something will
end up broken

because the
foundation
you build your
love on
cannot be made
of something like
sand

i am
one note
short
of a
chord,
but i am
still
music

today
i realized
that every
wall
standing
in my
way
has your
name
carved
into it,
like
headstones
that refuse
to be
forgotten

i never asked you
to start a war
for me
but you could
at least
be my shield
when my walls
come crashing down

i smiled at him
and he did not smile back
because muscles cannot move
once they are dead
and that is exactly what he was

the thorns
that cover your heart
seep out in words
dripping in violent
context

and i am merely
building walls
to protect myself

so do not tell me
that i am cold

the cuts
fade to scars
quickly
but the scars
remain
indefinitely

you tattooed
your name
on my heart
and likewise,
i want to
burn
my name
into your flesh.

they always said,
"the only one
who will always
be there for you
is yourself",

but ive always thought -
if no one else
cares
about me,
why should i
care
about myself?

every person
has baggage,
and it is your decision
whether or not
to help them
unpack.

she drank
over those who
didnt care,
and built walls
to keep away
those who did.

swallow
with water
and turn
into a
slave

you cannot
rely on the wind
as it changes direction
each day,

just as
you have told me
before
that this time,
you would stay

dont you realize
that you have
my whole world
to say
goodnight
to?

hold my
heart
with both
hands

she would give her life
for the smallest of these creatures -
a flightless butterfly,
a lame bird,
a mute hound

she waters the withering
and mends the broken,
but she is
dying
all the same

my days
consist of
sitting around
waiting
for things
to get better,
while
making them
worse