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~
oni Nov 2014
~
i miss you
as you are the sun
and i am the moon
who pass,
but never touch
¿
oni Jul 2015
¿
i am not entirely
sure
what i am
feeling,
but i know
that i do not
want to keep
feeling this way
.
oni Dec 2018
.
i locked the door,
but even i do not know how to reopen it.
1
oni Dec 2014
1
sext: i thought of you and put down the razor
new collection,
oni Sep 2015
i'm destroying
myself
so you can't
do it for me
10w
oni Oct 2015
10w
the fact
that i'm even
angry
about this
is pathetic
10w
oni Oct 2015
10w
ive convinced
everyone
but myself
that i no longer
care
oni Dec 2014
and i realized today
how much effort it takes
to love me

because when i do not
love myself
you have to love me
enough for two people
oni Feb 2017
a number is just
a number

a character
written on paper

it has no value
until we give it one

based on
accuracy
amount
rank

please do not
be mad
at the number
for reflecting
the value
that you give to it
oni Nov 2014
you were so
beautiful
that i compared you
to a flower

but i forgot
that flowers withered
until the day
that you died
oni Sep 2015
i find myself
continuing
to rely
on things
that were
never
once
reliable.
oni Jan 2018
read at
seen at
not delivered
heart attack

user blocked
call dropped
disconnected
heart stopped
oni Nov 2014
if i drowned
in my own tears,
would it be
suicide
because they were mine,
or
******
because you caused them?
oni May 2018
i didnt want
to hold you back
and you had no problem
with holding me down
oni Feb 2015
i am a small
flower
with the mind
of a lion

my heart is
soft
but my words are
large

and i forget
how easy it is
to clip my
petals

until after
you have
brandished
the shears
oni Apr 2016
same place,
but never
the same time.
WALKING DOWN THE SAME HALL ASyouyouyouyoudid??? whERE ARe you right noW
oni Nov 2014
never promise me
that you will be here
always
because the world itself
is finite
oni Sep 2015
similar to losing limbs,
i can move on
but never be whole again
oni Sep 2015
are arguments
really
a sign of
passion,
or just a
sign
that one person
cares more
than the
other?
oni Nov 2014
and what use
is the memory
of your anatomy
but another
pocket of knowledge
memorized without
realization

another
imprint
that i cannot
scrub away
after
i have tested
and failed
even though
i knew
all of the
answers
oni Sep 2015
dark spiders crawling
beneath my skin
breeding in my veins
clogging my pores

you are a poison
torturing from the inside out
you tied me to a fence post
marked your territory
and left me to rot

the snowflakes settled
on my eyelashes
melted my flesh
froze my bones

im decaying but im growing
im rusting but im shining
im crying but ill smile
just for you
oni Oct 2015
who wouldve known
that a soul
so small
as mine
could harbor
such hatred

who wouldve known
how easily
everything
could be painted
black

my bones
were once made
of the purest
white,
but once you
rot
you can never
come back
to life
oni Dec 2015
halley's comet
comes back around,
but you are not
ethereal enough
to do so
forgivably.
oni Jun 2015
i used to
look at you
like you could
walk on water
or like you
created the stars

but you were really
only a thief
who stole
everything
i had
and smashed it
right before my
eyes
oni Nov 2014
your answering machine
and i
have become
close,
perhaps closer
than you and i
ever were
because at least
it bothers
to answer me
oni Jun 2015
i just
want to
stay home

the world
is full of
*******
that want to
break your heart

and
ex-girlfriends
that want to
break your face

i just
want to
stay home

id rather not
waste
the make up
oni Feb 2015
my body
does not belong
to me
so stop
treating my actions
like my own
oni Nov 2018
ice and fire through my veins
stomach meets the floor
brain growing fuzzy behind the ears
i cant see
i cant hear
i cant breathe
oni Apr 2017
i want to wrap my own hands
around my own waist
like your hands once
circled my hips
as if they were a planet
to orbit

except i want to
dig into my own skin
fingernails scraping ****** ribbons
removing your sweat from my pores
your skin from my skin
your blood from my blood

ill destroy my own body
in order to take it back
oni Aug 2015
i said id never
rip you apart,
but that was
before
you turned me
into a monster.
oni Aug 2015
there are so many
questions
i want to
ask you

because the pieces
dont quite
fit together

but i dont ask them,
because it is
no longer
my place to
oni Nov 2016
and in those moments
when you ask me,
"are you okay?",
there is too much
light
to say no
and too much
darkness
to say yes
oni Dec 2014
they always told me
that my heart would never heal
if i kept letting it break
and break
and break
and break
but i never listened
and probably never will
because i gave up on caution when i was 12
nowadays i claw at my throat
and tear at my hair
pick at scabs on my forehead
and play with pencil sharpener blades
all to get away
just to get away
maybe one day i'll get away
but for now i am stuck
in this never ending ocean
of chewed up words
and scarred skin
and fragments of memories once held dear
because once anything gets close enough to me it shatters
just as i have shattered myself
oni Aug 2015
no one can break me
because i am
already broken,
and all of the pieces
are too small
to smash any further
oni Apr 2017
i love all of the words
that are not mine
just as i love all of the people
whom i can never have

i am a cycle of paradoxes
contradictory and scared
i repair the things
that should be left to crumble
and i destroy the things
that were meant to stand

i apologize when i dont mean it
im sorry
(no im not)
the eighth deadly sin twice removed
i have no place

sometimes breathing
is an emotional struggle
so do not send me onto the warpath
because eventually i wont know
if im looking to **** you or myself

im flammable
so dont use your words as gasoline
because you will burn with me
oni Sep 2015
my days
consist of
sitting around
waiting
for things
to get better,
while
making them
worse
oni Feb 2017
your mind
has decided
not to be
your friend
right now -

but i am
always
your friend
oni Jan 2017
what they dont tell you
is that while traveling
on a one way street
sometimes its best to go
in the opposite direction
oni Nov 2017
thinking i had
wrapped myself
around your heart,

i childishly
failed to realize
it was your ankle
instead
oni Dec 2014
these words
are used
to describe,

and you
pin them
to my
forehead.

these words
are used
to describe,

*but i will
not
let them
describe
me.
"You don't make me who I am." - Sometimes You're the Hammer, Sometimes You're the Nail; A Day to Remember
oni Sep 2015
the wolves sing
for me to indulge
in these animalistic tendencies

to crush your skull
to rip out your throat
to inhale the beast

i am not ashamed
to dance in your blood
as it is the same shade
as good luck
oni Aug 2015
you tried to repair
the home we made,
but every stair
buckled under your weight,
and every wall
peeled at your touch
oni Sep 2017
"i love you
more
than they
loved you"

but do you
love her better?
big
oni Feb 2017
big
he reminded me
that hands
that big
were not only meant
to hurt

and another persons
largeness
was not meant
to make me seem
small

thank you
for swallowing
my hand in yours

thank you
for covering me
with love
oni Aug 2015
i sometimes hope
that i plague your mind
as often as you take over my own

because you are the only
consistent thought i have

and though youve become
more like a stain than a memory

ill never wash myself again
as long as your imprint
remains on my body
3:35am
oni Sep 2015
caught like an animal
in headlights,
which way do i
run?
oni Oct 2016
his eyes
were as
blue
as the way
he made me feel.
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