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oni Oct 2019
and so ill let my feelings trail off
like a lukewarm ending
to what was meant to be a perfect fairytale
Jun 2019 · 459
relationships.
oni Jun 2019
it is meant to be
give and take
not
push and pull

the effort
should not be
the struggle
Dec 2018 · 767
.
oni Dec 2018
.
i locked the door,
but even i do not know how to reopen it.
Nov 2018 · 451
a panic attack
oni Nov 2018
ice and fire through my veins
stomach meets the floor
brain growing fuzzy behind the ears
i cant see
i cant hear
i cant breathe
Jun 2018 · 538
distance
oni Jun 2018
you can fold a map
to make ends meet
but you cannot fold
physical miles
to draw me closer to you
im sorry
May 2018 · 563
a fresh crack in the heart
oni May 2018
i didnt want
to hold you back
and you had no problem
with holding me down
Jan 2018 · 818
21st century horror story
oni Jan 2018
read at
seen at
not delivered
heart attack

user blocked
call dropped
disconnected
heart stopped
Jan 2018 · 796
masturbation
oni Jan 2018
fingers seeking
release
gutting desperately
only finding
emptiness
the ghost of someone elses hands
the memory of love
pain swells forward
turned off
Nov 2017 · 1.2k
to: the scars on my body
oni Nov 2017
a network of scars
mapping out a painful past
like remembering a hometown

a place i wanted to leave
a place i never wanted to be
a reminder that ive finally left
Nov 2017 · 2.3k
I D O L
oni Nov 2017
i watch you
fall at the feet
of those
who will never
know your name

im here
im real
i love you
and you
are distracted
Nov 2017 · 908
i am not her
oni Nov 2017
i place
a blank mask
over my face
and hand you
a pen

am i pretty now?
Nov 2017 · 500
w e l c o m e h o m e
oni Nov 2017
when walking into
a house that is not yours
be cautious of
broken picture frames

you may cut yourself
on broken pieces
of someone elses past
Nov 2017 · 426
BALL & CHAIN, BITCH.
oni Nov 2017
thinking i had
wrapped myself
around your heart,

i childishly
failed to realize
it was your ankle
instead
Nov 2017 · 500
cloak & dagger.
oni Nov 2017
a cloak wrapped tightly
around the two of us

but where
is the dagger?

whose blade
are we hiding from?
Nov 2017 · 426
please save yourself
oni Nov 2017
he wants to sleep
forever
and she cannot stay awake
for two people
Nov 2017 · 1.1k
i knew you once
oni Nov 2017
a flicker
of recognition

a glance
into a sea of faces

a pair of eyes
that were once familiar

but the feeling is
different

the emotion is
heavy

i look away
Oct 2017 · 552
definition: empty
oni Oct 2017
i could drive
to your apartment
but its

empty

like my head
unlike my heart
like my hands
desperately

grasping

for something

that i am

unsure of

in continuation
Oct 2017 · 434
double edged sword
oni Oct 2017
its been a while
since i was
hospitalized

three years ago
i nervously waited
for my verdict
at 2 AM

so when he called me
tonight
with a voice as tired
as someone who had finally
given up

i knew exactly
what was happening

and i relived
my death wishes
through his soft,
defeated words
Sep 2017 · 1.2k
better?
oni Sep 2017
"i love you
more
than they
loved you"

but do you
love her better?
Sep 2017 · 353
*snap*
oni Sep 2017
she
bent
to your
will
until
she snapped

now
do not
blame her
for
making you bleed
from the wounds
caused by her
splintering
shards
Sep 2017 · 730
e l e c t r i c
oni Sep 2017
hyper awareness

fingertips crackle with
electricity

my spine
is a lightning rod

eagerly consuming
every stroke of your fingers

body thrumming
with electricity

mind power
shifting into
maximum overdrive
Sep 2017 · 309
good things
oni Sep 2017
they say that good things
come with time

but with you
time is an illusion
and every day spent
building up to this point
means nothing

because all i know
in this moment
is you
standing before me
Aug 2017 · 483
She is Clothed in Anger
oni Aug 2017
how lovely it is
to be a werewolf in disguise

full moons come
in the form of pain
transforming me
into a monster
oni Aug 2017
though i have tried,
i cannot break open my soul
and share it with you
because there is nothing left
to break
Aug 2017 · 398
change
oni Aug 2017
they expected me
to miss them
but i kept walking
in the opposite direction
hello im alive
Jun 2017 · 522
happiness
oni Jun 2017
you learned what happiness is
because you learned what love isnt
May 2017 · 687
night
oni May 2017
its funny
how we take refuge at night
stuck between
lingering and lurking
when everything and nothing
is wrong and right
all at once

thoughts deep enough
to drown us
drip dry overhead
staining our bodies black
as the sky outside our lazily cracked windows

every sound is amplified
limited eyesight
heightening our sense of hearing
encouraging us to remain
quiet
dark
calm
but never asleep
sleep dark night quiet thoughts late
May 2017 · 586
to my future lover
oni May 2017
my body has been
desecrated
by the expressions of love
of all of those
who came before you

yes
they did treat my body
like a temple
but for a temporary god
who vanishes
when day breaks

little did they know
that it broke me
too
May 2017 · 932
memory
oni May 2017
i am thankful
that i still have
my memories
because they were all
that you couldnt take
May 2017 · 1.2k
the definition of beauty
oni May 2017
you called me beautiful
but once you grew to know me
you were quick to tell me
that i was not

and that says more
about you
than it does
about my beauty
May 2017 · 587
walking away
oni May 2017
walking away
isnt always giving up
sometimes
its realizing
that theres nothing left
to stay and fight for
oni May 2017
that* (pronoun)
\ˈthat, thət\

used by the misunderstanding to describe the depth of thought and/or emotion experienced by the reader upon reading poetry that has been ripped directly from the author's soul
oni May 2017
it is hard
to tell yourself
that the worst days
are behind you

when you feel like
you are still
living through them

the question is no longer
"when will i be happy?"
but rather
"will i ever be happy?"
oni Apr 2017
he looked at me
with sleepy eyes

eyelids trying to hide
deep spiderwebs of thought

"smile"
he said
and when i did
the storm was
calmed
Apr 2017 · 1.4k
zodiac
oni Apr 2017
reading daily zodiac
at 4 a.m.

heavy lidded eyes
riddled by LED
heavily burdened hearts
riddled by the past

horoscopic solutions
to why our hearts
and minds fail

one star
slightly out of alignment
claims
all of the inner workings
of my body chemistry

year of the beast
ravaging all
of my relationships

house of mercury
in my bloodstream
Apr 2017 · 402
deadline
oni Apr 2017
papers take on liquid form
i am drowning in them
oni Apr 2017
i did not
throw anything away

it was you
who threw me out

and i simply remained
where you left me
Apr 2017 · 443
evolution
oni Apr 2017
adapt
like a bird
building a nest
out of discarded newspaper

a small animal's bones
restructuring
readjusting
around the plastic rings
that once held soda cans

learn to stay put
if you were meant to fly
but find yourself
caged

adapt
change your body chemistry
alter your consciousness
to fit in
where you were not made to
Apr 2017 · 297
desire for disconnect
oni Apr 2017
its always there

sometimes
i get so happy
that i find myself
sad
again

how is it
that two things
that are so different
are so connected?
Apr 2017 · 397
sleep
oni Apr 2017
stop hiding behind my eyelids
let me sleep
Apr 2017 · 1.0k
empathy
oni Apr 2017
i saw you in a photograph
smiling like someone trying to be happy
i am not sorry for you
Apr 2017 · 475
21st century loneliness
Apr 2017 · 328
?? vs. ??
oni Apr 2017
sometimes
in the midst
of a power struggle
i miss him

when my head
and my heart
do not feel my
consciousness
bleed for him
Apr 2017 · 417
little things
oni Apr 2017
but there are some
funny little things
that you probably shouldnt know
and i probably wouldnt tell you

like how i cant look at
sunflowers
because they really arent
happy

or how certain names seem
too heavy for me
to wrap my tongue around

there are some funny little things
that shouldnt matter
but somehow they do

like how my taste for rootbeer
turned sour
when a boy who loved rootbeer
broke my heart

or a certain song on my playlist
has gone silent for years
but still takes up 4 megabytes on my phone

there are some funny little things
that i hate to acknowledge
as important
because i dont want them to be

but yet
somehow
some way
they are too important
to let go of
Apr 2017 · 491
its getting warmer
oni Apr 2017
sneaker imprints from crossing
newly shaven legs

rosy sunburn mixing with
a spattering of freckles

scraped knees from
a failed skateboard trick

wind tossed hair
summer heart
Apr 2017 · 775
autobiography
oni Apr 2017
i love all of the words
that are not mine
just as i love all of the people
whom i can never have

i am a cycle of paradoxes
contradictory and scared
i repair the things
that should be left to crumble
and i destroy the things
that were meant to stand

i apologize when i dont mean it
im sorry
(no im not)
the eighth deadly sin twice removed
i have no place

sometimes breathing
is an emotional struggle
so do not send me onto the warpath
because eventually i wont know
if im looking to **** you or myself

im flammable
so dont use your words as gasoline
because you will burn with me
Apr 2017 · 322
dont experiment
oni Apr 2017
science says
the bee stings their victim
and dies

keep that in mind
when you take a stab at me
Apr 2017 · 373
on burning you
oni Apr 2017
the finality of flame
smoking out my compassion
i watched the remains
go up in orange ribbons of goodbye
Apr 2017 · 296
step
oni Apr 2017
big emotions
leave big footprints
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