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I'm awake at 3 in the morning
Thinking about you... again
And soon I'll be asleep
Dreaming of you... again
I'm not fooling anybody when I say
I'm not missing you... again
Because I am,
I'm not going to lie... again
Is it wrong that I do?
It is and it isn't
Because I loved you
But I was a fool... again
And when I stay up thinking of you
I fall in love with you... again

I’m terrified
Of falling for you again
Rekindling the beautiful fire
We did once before
Those feelings haven’t left
But fear is in my heart now
A new ingredient to the mix
I despise this new feeling
For I know we are connected
But I hesitate at your gestures
Of reconnection and love
Please, I beg you
Don’t break my heat again
For it wants you and you alone
I ache for you, your presence here
Your voice, calm and fluent
Sending chills down my spine
I lose breath at your sight
Resuscitate me, or leave me here
And I’ll be free of pain

I wrote another poem about you today
Of all the things I wish I could still say
That I would be there for you when the days were long
And play you my guitar and sing you our song
I know as of now we have to be friends
But I wonder if this pain and sadness ever ends
One day I hope I can be what you need
And give all my loving to you with each deed

Brown eyes are soft
They don’t speak too loud
But they catch my attention
Amongst all the noise
They are simple and beautiful
Full of wonder and purity
They are open to you
Drawing you in closer…
Closer for a kiss
Yet they hide many secrets
I can see why they’re dark
And the harder you look
The more you’ll wonder
What hides behind them?
Its easy to get lost
Lost in beauty?
Or lost in despair?
All I can say is…
The longer you stare
The more you’ll know
And the more you’ll wonder
And the deeper you’ll fall
With no escape

I thought the end of the paragraph was the end of our adventure
That the pen went dry and our kind words died with it
The problem was I still had so much I wanted to say
So much I wanted to write down, but I didn’t have the strength
I miss your penmanship, you’re vivacious, elegant words
How they gracefully fell upon paper and my heart
For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I wrote too much.. or too little
I know you feel the same, too, I picked up on your subtlety
Though you stopped writing and the chapter ended suddenly
My words contain no fury or hostility towards you
Lonely nights when my pen graced the page
Brought memories of when my hands caressed your rosy cheeks
I’d be a liar if I said my tears didn’t smudge my words
For my heart aches for your tough and longs for your voice
Then one day I stumbled upon a new page
A familiar calligraphy lay fresh on the paper  
In an instant I had hope, our adventure was not over
A new chapter has begun and the story was just starting

It’s too noisy these days
I’m at the point where I don’t want to listen
Seems everybody’s got something to say
Leave me alone please
I don’t want to hear your chatter anymore
I wish I had a remote so I could mute you all

The world is changing everyday
And nothing ever stays the same
It's like I blink and you are there
And now you're gone, I don't know where.
The things I access in my brain
Just make me feel like I'm insane
And can't go on with out a fight
So I just might get out of sight
To be alone just for a while,
Not too long, but long enough
To make some sense of all the pain
I see on repeat on the screen
Inside my brain,
Which will never be serene...
Take me back just for a moment
I don't see things the same way anymore,
All I see is torment.
That's too bad, those were the days that
Had true meaning
But now it always seems that
I'm screaming and dreaming...
Longing for the past
That wasn't going to last.

She’s a little bit cooler than me, I like that
A little more dangerous.. a bit edgy in fact
Marked with black ink, like poem in calligraphy
A canvas of expression, a work of true beauty
She brings a sense of safety, that comfort feeling of home
And I feel her warmth around me, no matter how far we roam
Just as lost as I am, and exhausted from the journey
Her eyes pointed downward, her shoes worn and *****
Behind her are the years, the ones that she has spent
And the love that she will need, well it must be heaven sent
Paying her tolls as I have, so many times before
Her scars will tell a story, but her eyes say so much more
Our paths have come together and gone apart at times
And while she’s gone I sit here and scribble down these rhymes
I see her in the distance, she’s standing all alone
A girl who’s not afraid to be left out on her own
And like a thief in darkness, she stole my heart so tender
And meeting her again, I know that its still with her

Grab a camera, we can make it a movie
And watch it in the evening with no sound on
See the way the light flares of Amber on your skin?
As radiant as your energy, captured on Kodachrome
Oh how I feel warmth as I delight in your image
And all time stands still as this memory projects
I don’t need sound to hear your laugh again
Because in my heart I feel it, it plucks my heartstrings so

Take my hand
Follow me
Let's waste away

Let the music fill your head
Your soul
Ignite the fire
And let me burn for you

Gaze into my eyes
Let me fall for you
And make things better

The vinyl spins like I do
When our lips meet
Joining as one
Under the moonlit sky

I'll wait for you
For a chance
A moment to seize
To see your eyes glisten
Like the stars and beyond
Gazing into my soul
Where I ache for life

Let us adventure
Into the wilderness
A dark forest awaits us

The unknown beckons
Calling us to act
Discovering more than we know
And reassuring our minds

I see your thoughts
Not too fast,
You might trip and fall
But I'll be there to catch you
I hope you know

Open your heart to me
Let me hear you sing
The song of the ages
A beautiful voice

And when you fall
Deep into slumber
I'll wonder what you dream
As I hold you in my arms
And admire it all

I’m sorry for the heartache
And I’m sorry for the lies
I know it’s just a word
But it hurts the more time flies

I’ve written more about you
Than any subject I know
As though I am a scholar
In pursuit of a degree

But in fact I know nothing
I’m as clueless as before
And each day I wake in agony
From a burn of the third degree

A ringing in my ear
The soft cry of children
My innocence slaughtered
Where did time go

I lay here awake
Aware of the mess
Who dragged me from my bed?
My fists are cut and ******
And the bottle lay empty
Another night out?
Butchered tree in my pocket
There’s more to it than this

An endless road lie yonder
The heat waves friendly
I see you but hear nothing
I don’t wave back

Another left behind
Learning new ways to walk
Have we forgotten how to live?
Worshiping false idols
Media is a speedy vehicle
Inebriated driver behind the wheel
The minds of the masses
A thirst never quenched

I laugh as I know
And wander off the road
I think I found a new place to go
The land of maize
But I’m not lost

I have no place to be
Do you?

The new place one finds amidst the chaos of society can either be physical or mental
Smoke as elegant as a woman
Dancing around you so gracefully,
But not for long
The blink of an eye and she's gone
Dissipating into the dark gloom
But like all of them, there will be more,
All the same
Dancing around you
But not for long

There is pain in patience
We are no strangers to this
A man who lusts for a woman
Will lose himself waiting
A woman who waits in silence
Is screaming on the inside
We all feel this pain
In one way or another
A form of agony and distress
Longing for what we desire
Patience brings pain
And we have no control
We are afraid to act
So we sit in solitude
Our minds soon betray us
And the tears begin to fall
Frustration soon follows
And then all goes numb
I am impatient
Though I know I must wait
And when thinking of you
My spirit grows heavy
Temperance is my goal
But I fail each time
So I suffer in silence
And let time pass by
I’m longing for you
And it’s quite obvious
I know patience is key
But I’m impatient for you

I sit in this place and watch the cars go by
Like the memories I have of the times that have passed
Time seems to have a lead foot
And it goes by quicker than any of them
I've buckled up for the ride
But I realize I should have just stayed home
Now I'm just waiting till the tank is on empty
Because at this rate, it won't be long till the rides over

Patience is a virtue, it's one that I've thought through
The feeling when we're together is something oh so new

I feel it in the morning, when obstacles lay clear
And the hope that has been planted, gets me passed my fear

Tomorrow is uncertain, but that’s alright with me
Cuz being here with you is all I really need

Patience is a virtue, this I know is true
But how can I be patient when all I want is you?

They say if you can’t be with the one you love
Then you should love the one you’re with
But the problem is I haven’t loved myself at all
Ever since the moment I lost you

Embers kindle so gently before me
Glowing; emitting a light in a dark room
I've been here for years
It's been cold and it's been lonely
The only sound to be heard was a tired heartbeat
Who would have thought the warmth would reach me here
I can see the glow from down the hall illuminating brighter
I watch her stand there looking at me
Chills of a new desire rush down my spine
How is it that in this dark place she can see me
For I have been lost and forgotten
Hung out to dry by users and abusers
And she can see that, yet doesn't turn away
She enters the forsaken space where I reside
And the transfiguration commences
No longer will I wait in a room where the sun never shines
A resurrected spirit now stands before her
And in her eyes I see life

I find soft asylum
When I lay beside you
And you give sanctuary
When my mind is askew

A place to go hide
From the evil that they do
And the peace I find here
Is our alone; just us two

I spotted you alone across the crowded room
With the feelings I thought I would never consume
Who knew that I’d gamble and come out on top
That my mind would cease spinning, and that time would just stop

I’ve accepted its over
And now I must leave
And let it all go
It’s my biggest pet peeve

~But deep in my soul
I still do believe~

The day you told me to leave
Was the day you ended up staying
My normal escape from all my pain
Was now seized by your image
I could close my eyes at any moment
And see yours staring right back at me
Your deep brown eyes still fill me with wonder
And even in my mind you still melt my heart
I am tortured by this illusion
You never left my thoughts
You festered in my mind
Unlike my unfortunate reality
You stuck around, still visiting my dreams
I am torn to call them nightmares or horrors
Because beauty like this doesn’t exist in those
But dreams don’t bring pain like this either
And not having you there is a horror all it’s own
When I wake up alone in my bed
I turn to my side and discover a void
An empty space where you still belong
Only in my dreams do I still feel you there
Only in my dreams can I see you’re still there

Nobody knows
Thus nobody cares
So I sit alone
And everyone stares
Silence is deafening
It says much more
Than the words I keep in
My mind at war

Sunflowers and roses
A unique pair indeed
And they’ll blossom for you
Whenever you may need
You deserve more than these
A garden of wonder
And a symphony that plays
Like a soothing storm thunder
You’ll shine brighter than these
I know this to be true
And the reason that I say this
Is because I love you

I could never truly hurt you, not intentionally
And maybe that's why we were never meant to last
You tried to find flaws in hopes you could fix me
But you came up empty handed and dropped me in an instant
I guess you were not ready for a man like me
One who would love you and never abuse you
You deserve that love, and I wanted to provide it
But I'm moving on now, you had your chance
Go back to the ones who hurt you the most
Who never fully appreciated you're beautiful spirit
Thanks for all the good times and hand written lies
All the time I can't get back because it was all spent on you
I gave you my all, including my heart
Even though you were the one to act on yours first
I believed in us when I kissed you again
But it was just another poisonous lie that fell upon the lips

In a place by the lake stood a tall willow tree
It's roots stretching down far beyond where I could see
At first glance I admire its elegant beauty
But there's more than meets the eye, I learned fool-heartedly
Its melancholy dance in the cool summer breeze
Mesmerizes my senses and is enough to please
Then the reflection in the lake made it all too clear
The willow is my love but there's no need to fear
Behind her dark eyes is a cloudy sky
A girl living in fear who's dying to cry
I can see you hiding behind that brave face
Exhausted from a journey you thought was going no place
The tears I see fall are like rain from the sky
Or the branches of the willow that keep this place dry
The leaves that drape down are protecting you so
Concealing the emotions that you don't want to show
The path you traveled is something you thought you'd never surpass
Like walking down a road of rusty nails and broken glass
Like a broken heart, your feet have been torn
Yet you go on beaten and continue to mourn
But the road you walk knows another poor soul
I've been down it too, and I've paid my toll
And the secrets you kept hidden from plain sight
Are now exposed to me in the mystic moonlight
And when you weep like the willow, please know this to be true
I'll love you forever, even when the skies ahead aren't blue

This town ain’t doin it for me
As I weep beneath the willow tree
I thought how could this come to be
When you’re the only one I see

And now I sit here and ponder so
About the things that I don’t know
And wonder what our time would show
With the moments shared so long ago

Your eyes are like windows
They let the light through
The dark place I lived in
Will never be true


— The End —