the noxious dragon in the spine awakens
some kind of poisoned Kundalini
stretches upwards, burrows downwards
sends out spiral tendrils across tendons
enraged villi seeking
to sink themselves into and cause
a kinetic torment raging
Who is born
Happy and smiling
While others smile
As you grow
First attain peace
Everything falls in order
Is attaining peace
For peace to come
Lest fodder to the world
And work towards
Your material welfare
A little buddha, a little yodha(warrior)
With external performance
Disorder to come to order
Don't wait to be a Buddha
Everyone can't be a Buddha
Strike a balance in life to live good life
In lethargies grip and restless mind,
I come again upon the day.
Where demons of my minds design,
find acres bare to frolic and to play.
An emptiness that invades my core,
until only black thought dwells in there.
Where tiredness is all I can feel,
and darkest depression is thoughts heir.
No calming thoughts to ease my mind,
and no safety can my lost soul yet feel.
The endless sensation of putrid stagnation,
no layers to other emotions have I left to peel.
Foreboding and deep weariness dark as shadow,
accompanies each thought and task within my day.
And though I seek escape by non-participation,
against thought there is no strategy I can play.
Turmoil to life's patterns of sleep and wakefulness,
where a soul and mind each attacks my own mortality.
Until left with just one clear and rational thought,
Of how simple and complete my final escape can be.
Winning just gets harder.
Perhaps this exorcism will help yet again.
Sometimes, the darkness is not my friend,
but pins me to my bed with heavy hands.
We become uneasy companions
on a stormy sea—
the rest of the world sailing
smoothly on dreams.
Something about the night revels
in picking through my mind like a
filing cabinet—no method to the madness.
Sometimes I ask,
"Why will you not let me go?"
Sometimes the night answers:
"Because these hours are not your own to control."
And still up
What must be going on
I must wonder
With just a small breeze of wind
I walk towards the valley of shadows
As I begin my mysterious journey
I ask myself
Why am I doing this
The answer may be up ahead
My mind blanks out
Staring from afar
As I try to move
I remain paralyzed
Oh, how did I end up like this
I shouldn't have gone out
I might be either seeing the graveyard
Or the Warzone itself
Two things: I'm either physically awake or awake in spirit
I have that yearning in me.
Driving me forward.
I have that longing in me,
Sponsor of my sleepless nights.
If only I could get to the place
Where my thoughts
Are no longer racing
If only I could catch a flight…
But for now
I am just sick of waiting.