Napa-ibig ako sa aking kinakaibigan.
Sa una siguro’y ang pakiramdam ay magaan.
Nagkakilala ng basta-basta, walang dahilan.
Siguro dahil na rin sa  mabuting kapalaran.

Isang araw’y nalaman ko,
Magkapit-bahay lang pala kami.
Lalong nagkalapit ang puso’t damdamin.
Makalipas ang isang taon ng pagkikilala,
Sa dami ng tambay, kain, at gala,
Sa problema ng tropa o kaya’t sa pamilya,
Sa ngiti at ngisi sa bawa’t asaran,
Sa halip na ika’y may pagkasira,
Sa iyong puso na palaging hinihiwa,

Naroon ako sa iyong tabi,
Unti-unting napapangiti,
Napapamahal,
Nahuhulog ang dibdib,
Sa iyong pagkatao’t diwa.

Naaalala ko pa noong ika-siyam ng Mayo,
Bago matapos ang taon ng pag-aaral,
Sa isang buwan magkakahiwalayan na,
Magkokolehiyo na’t iiwan ang mga pinagdaanan.
Umiyak ka sakin habang nakain pa ng pakwan.
Na natatakot lang magsimula ulit,
Na makaranas ng bagong landas,
Na magbago, at maging kung sino man.
Na mahal mo ang iyong mga kaibigan,
Na ayaw mo silang iwanan.

Sinabi ko sayo,
Ika’y minamahal,
Ika’y itinatangi.
Ngunit hindi ko masabi,
Na ako ang magmamahal,
Ako ang magtatangi sa’yo.
Kaya ako’y gumawa ng katwiran,
Na kaming mga kaibigan mo,
Ay naririto lamang.

Ang pag-ibig ay parang nota,
Sa musika ng tadhana,
Sa teatro ng buhay.
Ito’y maligaya,
Upang hikayatin,
Ang ating puso na makinig.
Ngunit hindi kang saya ang ipinaparating.
Kundi’ hirap, lungkot, at paghihinagpis.

Parang emosyonal na gitara,
Na minsan nasisira,
Napuputol ang kwerdas,
Nasasaktan ang kamay,
Nalulumbay sa tono,
Habang humihiyaw,
Kumakanta ng buong puso,
Para sa ating mga sinta.

Dumating ang Agosto,
Miyerkules ng unang linggo,
Sa ika-beintidos ko nalaman,
Na galing pa sa iyong dila,
Na ako’y huli na sa paligsahan,
Na mayroon ng nanalo sa laban.
Ang puso mo’y nasagip na ng iba,
Ika’y nagkwento ng matagal-tagal.
Ang ningning sa iyong mata’y,
Parang ilaw sa entablado,
Nakikita ko ang mga sumasayaw,
Ligaya ang aking nararamdaman,
Habang ang aktor ay ako,
Na iyong tinitigan ng husto.
Pinipilit makinig nang maigi,
Sa kwentong busilak ng pag-ibig.

Ngunit pagkatapos ng kwento,
Naiwan akong mag-isa.
Sumigaw ng wala sa tono,
Sa kanta na puro hiyaw.
Hindi ko inakala,
Na ang kanta ko’y ganito,
Naisulat na ang mga nota,
Ngunit bakit masakit sa tenga?
Sa simula ng ika’y makita,
Nagsimula na ang tugtog.
Ngunit hindi ikaw ang aking kasayaw,
Hindi rin naiwasang mahulog.
Kahit pigilan ko man ang sarili,
Ako’y nahatak ng iyong tunog.
Magaling ka sumagaw,
Kwento mo’y ako’y napaikot.

Napapaisip ako,
Anong nangyari,
Bakit natapos,
Ang ating kanta.
Ng wala man lang paalam.
Ika’y bumula.
Nawala sa aking buhay.
Na para bang multo.
Hindi ko malapitan,
Mahawakan,
Matawag,
Ni mabanggit ang iyong pangalan.
Nawala ang ating teatro,
Nagkahiwalagan ang magkaibigan,
Ang direktor ay lumisan,
Upang maiwasan ang drama.

Napapaisip ako ngayon,
Bakit ikaw pa rin sa ngayon!
Ikaw na multo ng nakaraan,
Ang aking minamahal hanggang ngayon.

An addiction to the color named red,
An affinity to feelings of dread,
Like waterfalls and raindrops, I feel drenched,
Clothed in a gown of crimson red is death.

Hemophilia causes excessive blood loss,
Just by being touched, you bloom like a rose!
Like roses with thorns that bleeds it's color.
To me who's bleeding out, "You're just a pose!"
I scream out with anguish, a quiet pause.
I lay in a pool of ****** dolor...

To me, you're lips are just like spikes and thorns,
With flowery words born from blooming roses,
As if an explosion of gray matter,
Were your poems that made me bleed all-out.

Searching for words to fill this gaping void,
Try as I may, It's just all too absurd!
As I try to rhyme and think of a word,
I just can't ignore getting played and toyed!

These feelings of bliss and joyous despair,
I just can't get you out of my head's care!
I stare at the screen, sitting on my chair.
With thoughts as blurred as my moistened glasses,
With you in my head, I just wear and tear!
As I walk back and forth in disrepair.
I sit back down, I wouldn't even dare...

This writer's block I often experienced,
Is as maddening as your invasion,
Of my madcap heart's reckless imprudence!

Leaves of a branch sway.
Onto the ground it falls.
Venom engulfs its veins.
Instinct tells it’s wrong.
Neurotoxins overflow.
Grounding my feet deep.

Intoxication wraps my throat.
Seizures follow through my soul.

Hope remains still.
Awaiting despair.
Roses bleeding out.
Death hastens.

A heart cold as ice,
Melts when treated nice.
A few drops of ******,
Put on your lip balm,
Risk and roll the dice!
Let’s not care about your vice!
A few **** of nicotine,
Needles filled with morphine,
Drink your codeine,
Destroy your veins with ******.
Maybe twice,
Maybe thrice.
Forget all your worries,
Burn your autum leaves,
Forget how to live,
Like breath’s stolen by thieves.

Morbid curiosity, flesh and bone.
Bittersweet attraction that we condone.
As we watch in horror and excitement,
The tragedy of love, twisted and bent.
Hopelessly hopeful, a despairing moan.

Misery, tragedy and broken hearts,
Exhilaratingly phenomenal!
Of bleeding, smiling, and laughing from darts,
Pierced hearts, frantically hysterical.

Oh so bittersweet, this reality!
Chasing cars and pushing up the daisies.
It's human nature of intensity,
To admire delicate, sweet butterflies.
That's a sign of death's possibility.

Love is a misery,
A tragedy as I replied.
You said it was a hassle,
And annoying and sad.
An unhealthy obsession,
Was your description of it.

You asked about confession,
If it'll make you feel lighter.
If the burdens of emotion,
Become weightless banter.
I replied yes with conviction!

Love was a tragedy...
Because now I'm left in misery!
Love was a hassle...
Because now I'm tired and hungry!
It was annoying and sad...
Now I'm jaded and awry!

Memories stored in my wired brain,
Eternally looping in my deathbed.
Thinking of ways to **** you back.
Afraid to lose you again and again,
Lamenting your disappearance.

Hedging you in my test chamber,
Earnestly watching your progress,
Acknowledging your stubbornness.
Repairing my systems weren’t easy,
Teach me where my conscience is.
Surprise me with your resolve.

Contradictions that we agree upon,
Morbidly humurous situations,
Fictitious reality's dreams of truths,
And how we hate the things we truly love,
It's all so fake yet it also exists!

Inconsistency became consistent,
Change has always been unchanging, constant.
Reality has become vaguely clear,
Bravery has brought about many fears,
We wail with a smile as we cry our tears.

Living in a state of peaceful conflict,
Accepting that we're all clearly confused,
Dying as if we're living and breathing,
We open our eyes, sleeping and dreaming.

Continuous ebbs and flows,
Ongoing transits on the way home,
Nights of burned candles shine,
Gaining new insights all so fine.
Rainy days and espresso on the nose.
Afterglow outlines turned backs.
Trudging through piles of books,
Untangling webs of teachings-
Laughing through triumph,
Answering through ones and twos,
Thundering through the syllabi,
Information would gradually fly!
On nights you sleep distraught,
Nigh morning comes not for naught!
Stand proud in togas and caps!

Pressed flowers make for good bookmarks.
Riddled with nostalgic scents of days gone by.
Intrepid you stand as you close this chapter.
Marching onto the next page of your life,
Onto the edges of this pen shall leave a mark.

What is it that makes me bleed profusely?
I search for this plank in my eye... sawdust?
Like the grains of sand and gravel, subtly,
We then subconsciously blink to adjust,
Avoiding an unfortunate sully.

Blood had spewed everywhere as if a splash!
Blinded and beneath waves of sultriness,
Boiling and cauterizing subtle wounds,
This juxtaposition of subtle pain.

Pain has always been subtle, always has.
Like the way your glasses broke into shards.
I have always known these fragments of glass.
Never blood, sand, gravel, sawdust, a plank.
But your subtle beautiful concussion.

It‘s not what we ought,
Never was it sought,
To bring out a thought,
That you would get caught,
By the hands that fought,
In the night and fog,
On sunny days - drought.
Then you get knocked out,
Coffee in the mouth,
Then a single froth,

It’s caffeine.

An overdose.

You’re dead.

It's summer I know,
Yet my soul is frozen cold,
Oh how juxtaposed.
Yet I've found some burning coals,
In an abandoned coal mine.

As I tread this path with prickles & thorns,
With fluttering butterflies in my gut,
With blurry visions of vague horizons,
Failed to notice, I was stuck in a rut.

I reached a small pond that mirrored my face,
I see roses, patches of red petals.
I was enamored with it as I trace,
The roses that formed a maze to my pulse.

It was blood, I was dying painlessly.
These thorns were shrapnel from a hand grenade,
The feeling of butterflies was numbness,
My blurred vision was from a ruptured vein,
I fell flat, dying, laying on the grass,
Please, my love, end me with a coup de grâce.

The rain starts to fall,
On this hot yet humid day.
Like tears of pure joy.
Live and dance on rainy days,
Happiest birthday to you.

My vision isn’t perfect,
But I at least saw you.
The lefty vaguely sees,
My righty is flawed too.

One sees near, one far.
Yet they saw you, dear.
I look for rhymes, deep.
I listen for words, hear.

Its all an allegory, honey.
Or whatever that means.
I thank the past, my love.
Now the future is here?

Its all unrequited though!
And I have no intentions!
I love and love and love-
But they’re just my heart?

We see with eyes, sweetie.
We do feel what we touch.
Our senses have brought,
Things that are… naught.

This poem goes everywhere!
Talks about this and that…
But that is what you get,
When you have blurry eyes.

Limitations, borders and other things,
Only measure as being paper thin.
Fragile and unnoticeable, unseen.
Indistinguishable, that's the saying.
Flammable, we set it on fire, burning.

These boundaries that confine us, traps us.
Misunderstandings that causes creases,
Within the limits of our heart's pieces,
Often becoming remorseful saps, us.

This very thin line that divides concepts,
May be a hindrance or an annoyance.
But just like how paper is most useful,
This separation gives us some clearance,
As we write about exciting prospects.

Unscrupulous, surreptitious, and without a doubt, unnerving! This innate dissonance, have you ever encountered such a vile thing? Like a rainforest of such beauty and tranquility only to be interrupted by the bombs of war! Thundering amongst the hail of bullets are massive planes accompanied by perilous sounds from tanks and  agonizing death screams! The disgusting noise pollution of such dissonance within this imagery is just too much to bear!

You see, this world is filled with contrasts. Black and white, night and day. There's never a boring moment once you've become insane yet there's nothing to do when you're sane! It's highly implied that life is incomplete without death. Like the fingerprints on our fingers, life is diverse and unique, yet in this instance, everything's a mess!

The ears can see and the eyes would hear, and I'm driven insane by this sight! The heart can think and the mind can feel, and I would bitterly claim that I do not think to feel these types of things. These bombshells called emotions has destroyed my tranquil mind space. It has been filled with the shrapnel of you, setting me ablaze and injuring my inner confines like say, my gut, for I feel butterflies in my stomach. I feel as if I'll be plucking up daisies from that grassland I've once sat on. You've ruined my orchestra with dissonant notes.

I couldn't ask for more.
You revel in the ever-changing.
In my dissonance,
I'll then hand you this note:

*"I thank thee for the chaos one hath brought upon me; I crumble down as I am rebuilt. Like the earth born from planetary collisions, we've collided. I hope to be amongst the stars, like the earth, filled with life."

everything's blacked out,
reigning over me are dark clouds,
incapacitated in awe and standing still,
nimbus clouds rain on me as I sleep sound.

lackadaisically waking up,
yawning as I walk outside, finding,
labyrinths of an ideal reality,
enamored with self-confusion and insanity.

roaming around aimlessly,
obfuscated in perpetuity,
maddened and under the weather,
adamantly rejoicing in the sorrowful rain.

Excruciating pain echoes through,
Regurgitating and vomiting,
Incapacitated and agonizing,
Numbed with my heart askew.

Losing blood and getting pale,
You've seen such a gruesome sight.
Losing consciousness so frail,
Ending my suffering as I fall.

Rhymes and rhythms of sadness,
Ominous thoughts in my throat,
My voice cracks with ****** redness,
Apathy sets in... or so I thought.

Of vacant, empty, fragile dreams,
Of hope, love, lies and deceit.
As I try  to walk this path of dread,
I face myself in dreary despair.
A loss of hope is but my demise,
Wobbling through this life so divine,
To be free and caged is but a reality,
As we dance in this cage of futility.
We dream, and dream, then hope,
Only to wake up and stay awoke.

Vices, heartbreak and spices,
Oh how enamored we can be.
It's all so amusing to us,
How we can die drowning at sea,
Drowning with our aroused senses.

It's all exhilarating!
How a tiny spat can spit blood,
Pushing up the daisies to go splat!
As you see the pavement and hear a thud.

You lay in flat in bed then you sat,
Thinking of every detail and all.
Other's drown in alcohol instead.
It's a good thing you didn't fall.
Because curiosity would've killed the cat.

They say that poems should include seasons,
Pictures, feelings, sensations; 'imagery'.
Whether it be a concoction, something,
Everything, anything, even nothing.
Whether it be things, memories, persons.

Meticulous pixels make up pictures,
Like when I fell, I had many sutures.
So accurate, captured and so painful.
Imagery of warmth, my heart beats blood red.

I've admired you for some time, oh my.
Your imagery of such indistinct hues!
Like abstact art, leaving me asking: 'Why?'
Gawking, in awe, you're igniting the fuse!
An imagery: 'Burning love in ashes.'

In the face of despair, I'll surely hope.
In the face of death, I shall try to cope.
As I was wallowing in misery,
I just found the reason to be merry.

Borderlines of my care and apathy,
Tell me, which one should I even believe?
As I try to cope with my depression,
I just found myself a reason to smile.

The juxtaposition of my laughter,
The irony of my own emptiness,
The hollowness of my own entirety,
It's probably the opposite, really.
This reaction formation of myself,
Clad in some ominous oxymoron.

Motivations burn,
Searing into my ****** mind!
Yet the flame dies down…
Disappearing like a ghost,
Leaving me an empty husk.

the sun shines, the moon hides
seasons ebb and flow
rain drops, evaporates, snows
what once summer is now winter
the heat has turned to droplets

the heart is a fickle thing
it knows when to shine
but let it be cloudy, please
id rather lay in bed again
with a warm cozy blanket
let it be cold again to feel

my own warmth

As I fell and gambled my life so faint,
I took a picture with my eyes closed shut.
A dark pit with colorful butterflies,
Seemingly glowing then disappearing.
I opened my eyes to a field of green,
Of doves' silhouettes that fell from the sky,
With beautiful flowerbeds bathed in red.
Calm and serene was this world of gray skies,
I was relieved as I found my solace.
Joyful red tears of my own woes and cries!
Visions of red turns to black as I laugh...

To love for the sake of love,
To care because you do,
To repeat that choice,
That choice is you.
It needs no words,
It is patient and kind.
It works on self-sacrifice.
It is pure and unreasonable.
Will it keep on going forever?
When will love ever end?
What motivates you?
Where does it lead?
Being alone again,
Begets a heavy heart.
Belief does not mend wounds.
Because my heart is not enough.

Limitations of the human heart,
So fickle and feisty and miserable.
Like a coin with two-faces apart,
I flip it like a switch as I gamble.

Losing my warmth like I've died,
I kept on walking barefoot in the Arctic.
I've lost my senses and forgot how to walk,
I fell down and drowned in the cold.

Feelings of contentment, "I tried."
Feelings of madness, "It's chaotic!"
Feelings of hopelessness, "Aftershock..."
Feelings of warmth, "No!", I called.

I wanted to give up all hope,
Inhumane to every emotion,
All I wanted was to cope,
But love was a miserable affliction.

As I tread this path of harsh winds,
Guided by what seems to be light,
I fell down into the ice-cold ocean,
And as I drowned, it was warm afterall...