You saw me crying
as I was sinking
you pulled me in
and wrapped me up

I was surrounded
with your love
when you found me
and I still am, even now.

We said goodnight
Only an hour ago
My heart feels tight,
Where does the time go?

It'll only be a while longer
Before we'll be together
I know there's bruises
And scars on us too...

But I know we'll make it through.

You make my heart melt
Just by laughing with me
I can only imagine how I'll feel
While you're hugging me.

I want to hold your hand.

10 more days until my hand will meet yours

I was going to write something sweet and poetic for you, but I lost my thoughts when I saw your green circle turn transparent. I love you, husband. I'll see you soon enough...

Stomp, stomp, stomp
Unhappy glares
He walks up the stairs
The kid is stirring up tears.
Yelling and cries
Mixed with more stomping
You told me I was unwanted,
To just go away if I wasn't helping.
You didn't even tell me what you were doing,
It's not ignoring if I can't hear you.

I hate when I'm in the mood to write
But nothing I put down comes out right.
I'm thinking about him and my excitement
But at the same time I'm nervous, also content.

I guess I can't decide whether to be tired or vent.

I see you over there
Across the field from me
Why're you so far away,
Is this really just a dream?

The distance between us is closing
My heart is beginning to race
then I hear my alarm
and now I wear a sad face.

I'm literally so tired
I could fall asleep right now
It's a struggle to stay awake
Despite all of the sounds

I was tossing and turning
All night long
I woke up a few times
Thinking I would fall.

Sometimes I worry about being too needy
and wonder if you think I'm being too clingy

I'm wondering what will happen.

Laying here once again
In tears, as the room begins to spin.
I shut my eyes and teardrops fall
Once again I'm saying I miss them.

It's funny how family can drive you mad
But once time's spent away from them
You become too sad to function right, without them.

I wipe the tears away
And ignore the spins the best I can.
I know they wouldn't want me crying
When I asked for this to happen.

So I will go to sleep again.

I'll follow you
from one place
to the next,
because you make me happy
And you're the one I want to be with.

Do you have that one person who can change your mood by just saying a word to you?


I do.

You claim you're the devil
to everyone around you there
I don't see it in you,
but if that's the case
I don't mind being Satan's girl.

You're still my golden jellyfish
You always have been and
You always will be.

I'm laying in my bed
Surrounded by darkness
Listening to the footsteps above me
It's easy to tell who's walking.

I turn over and sigh,
Still in a mood from last night
I just want to go back to sleep
So another day can pass me by,

But I have to get up and fight.

The sky has turned dark
Another day has passed,
though it hasn't been the best.
I'm happy right now knowing
I'll see you in my dreams while I rest.

Russia has a new weapon,
Talking to you is the closest I'll ever be to heaven.
Eleven minus seventeen is six, in case you didn't know
I'm aware I'm making no sense but I don't care so...

Hot tea, singing MC
to myself, as I day dream
17 more days,
16 more nights

until I will feel him, hugging me tight.

I wish that we could talk longer,
but I know you need your sleep.
I know you think you're boring
but I think your words are deep.

I love reading your stories
and often anticipate the next,
I fear mine aren't as entertaining
but you listen, nevertheless.

I think of you a lot
especially after our good nights,
My devilishly handsome husband,
you're the best part of my life.

I'm curled up in this blanket
listening to the noises outside, it's raining.
I'm wishing your arms were around me
I want you here beside me.

The rain is hitting my window hard
kind of like what you do to my heart
thump, thump, bang, bang...
it's onomatopoeia all throughout day.

I want nothing more than for you to feel the same.

False and insincere...
is this how I've come off to you for so long?
It makes sense considering everything I've done
I hate myself for being that way, and putting you through those things.

You make my heart soar,
You make me feel sublime.

I feel sick inside,
I still want you by my side...

I do sing for you
Even now
The sky is blue
I remember you
I want to call you
To ask if you'd like to meet
Before I go back to the sand-filled
Place on the other side of the nation
Where I'm living now.
But I cannot.
So I'll lay my phone down next to my pillow
And continue sleeping; bitter filled dreaming

I miss our silent conversations
And how we would watch movies
I miss your soft and soothing voice too
But the way I treated you was wrong
I'm sorry for everything I said to you

I really miss you.

The sky is crying, just like me
The clouds keep screaming, out to me.
They boom and roar and bang against my roof,
I wish I could calm them down the way they made my stress and tears disappear.

She was swimming for so long
so when she felt the octopus grab her arm
she thought nothing of it. Until it pulled her under
to where she was surrounded by the greenish blue tentacles.
She could see the jellyfish in the distance, the ones
she had been swimming to, for so long...
But the octopus grew on her
she began to love it.

Their love grew and grew, until the octopus swam away...
so far she could barely see it anymore.
eventually she began swimming again
but in the opposite direction, looking for it.
When she couldn't swim anymore, she slowly sank.
She was lost for days, but he found her again and wrapped her up.
But when she woke up, she was different.

And everything was faded.

I know, I haven't written in a while... Right now,
These 4 walls are the only ones who see me smile.
I don't want to share my pain anymore...
and I don't want to share my happiness either.
I find myself coming back here only during the
in between moments. To look back, to try and find
a piece of why I felt something before. Now it's just
all blurry.

All of my secrets are known by 3:00AM.

You used to always be there with your wards, but now you don't support me anymore.

Stab me. Do it again.
I'm so tired of living in this place where people bend what's already broken trying so hard to fix it but only to make it worsen it's so funny how hard this **** is; after being brought into a world you can't say no to you're forced to go on living in it only to wait for it to end and sure you'll have good experiences mixed in with the bad; and happiness mixed in with the sad too and heaven forbid you try to exit because apparently that is cowardly; wrong in the end most are too scared to even attempt... It's just funny.

I'm still a child
yet an adult as well.

People think I should act one way
and when I do that they yell...

So tell me, judgies?
what do I wear today
a smile, frown or should I walk in a haze?

I'd love to know.

I wish
we lived
closer to
each other,

because,
we both
could use
a hug
right now.

When the caffiene fades
So does my smile
But that'll never change
At least not for a while.

I ruined everything
Everything that we had
I broke your heart
And threw it in the trash

I can't remember why
And that leaves me feeling sad
A year has gone by
And even now I'm feeling bad.

I'm watching you from the left corner,
over here, where dust has swarmed to.
I see you go to sleep, and awaken
just like I see you when you come home wasted.

I can remember a time when you saw me too,
but that time was ages ago,
the bond that we had, they burnt through
and now you've forgotten me...

You left me alone; defenseless to these dust bunnies.

Whenever I feel sad, I blow things up in video game land.
Because everything and anything that I built there, can be rebuilt.
I can fix everything in the screen that I hurt or broke.
But I can't fix how you probably think what we had was just a joke.

Someone
Anyone
Anybody
Please
Right now, all I need
is to go home
to where the Jellyfish sing to me.

So please, someone
take me to the aquarium.

In the end
you're alone
and nobody cares
except your own
self's conscience
so what's the point?

I can't say that I'm proud
of the things that I've done
saying goodbye to you
wasn't something I found fun

you didn't make it easy
I didn't want to hurt your feelings

but I did in the end, didn't I?

I'm a horrible person

Last night I shoved a bottle of Advil down my throat as I cried, begging my insides to stop hurting, pleading for my heart to stop threatening to stop loving. Please God do not make me do this
I don't want to end it
I did love him
tell me where I went wrong
stop hurting
I regurgitate the pills and cry harder
this is not the way to handle my emotions
you need to stop hurting yourself
you've been so happy
what went wrong Rebecca?

Maybe the reason I've been offline so often
is not because I'm trying to start a life but,
because it reminds me that you and I are dying out.

Everytime we say goodbye
I go home to my bed and then I cry.

Wait... Don't leave, please; come back to me
I've been getting into drugs and other things
I am fearful for my own well being...
But these actions I am taking hold of
Keep my mind off from what's truly going on,
I'm not sure that I'll ever really stop...

Please, don't make me wait.
Please, just take me away.

As I lay my head back on my pillow
Tears drop down my cheeks
They wash away my smile
Maybe if they'd stop...
My feelings would too.

sometimes i feel so sad, i think i'll just die.
i talk to myself and wonder why i even try.
i stare at my ceiling and try not to cry
but it all comes out one tear drop at a time.

I want to feel your warm words in person,
I want to feel them touch my heart while
I'm standing beside you, the way that they
do when we're miles from miles apart.

Even though we're not close in distance,
you're holding my heart in your hand even now.