You cannot heal me
for I am not a broken soul.
My spirit carries heavy burdens
but my colours never dull.

Pointed torches in my face
this light, it hurts my eyes.
I was led alone, I sobbed
thinking no one heard my cries.

I smile in the face of the enemy
and laugh in the face of a friend.
It is not that I am lying
but that I must pretend.

And the sad part is I would take any piece of me and replace it with a part of you.

So my brothers could have a father, so my sister could have a man to look up to, so her children could know who Grandad David is.

So my mum could love, REALLY love again. None of this fake "we're going for dinner, so that means something" *******. None of the "he hit me but that's OK, because he didn't mean it" *******. None of the "he screamed at you but he never meant it" *******.

And I would take any piece of me and replace it with a part of you.

I would take all of me and replace it with all of you so I didn't know this pain. That might be selfish because you were in pain.
That might be selfish and it's not OK but I would rather know there was of world with you in it without me there to see it.

I would take everything I enjoy and replace it with you, just for one picture beside you.

I would take everyone I have ever loved and replace them with you so I could know what real love is.
Take every moment I've ever had and replace it with you because a girl needs her father.
What's the point in fake love and rainy days and a cup of coffee in small cafe's. What's the point in fancy dinners and a quick lunch, your boyfriend taking you out for brunch. What's the point in long dates and drive-ins
and lazy days and lay-ins.
What was the point for any of that when I can't tell you?

And the sad part is I would take any piece of me and replace it with a part of you.

You do not deserve to be or to feel alone.

You deserve to be and to feel loved.

Please, never forget that.

The monsters
from beneath
my bed
have crawled
up into
my head.