But how
can you
truly
love me
when you
don't even
love
yourself

He turned my past into a weapon.
And then...
He stabbed me in the heart.

And it only hurts more
because I cannot stop crying out
over someone who has never shed a tear for me

There was thunder in my hands,
lightning in his fists.

Thunder always claps,
but lightning always hits.

He said he would make you his
Queen.

In reality he treats you like a
Scullery maid.

Baby,
don't give your whole heart
to someone
who gives you none of their kindness!

Would it be selfish to ask you to stay?
Knowing you would suffer.
Knowing I suffer without you.
Which would be worse?

Why didn't you stay?
Is the emptiness fulfilling?
Does it make you whole?
Fill a void my love never could?

You will never see me in white.
Never see me with-child.
Never see me ache from love.
Never see me overwhelmed by joy.

Would it be selfish if I followed suit?
Knowing they would suffer.
The way I suffer without you.
It cannot be much worse.

Next time,
do not let your walls come down.

Even the Trojan horse looked like a trophy in Troy!

He called me perfect,
and for a moment
all of my flaws disappeared.

Her beauty was unmatched;
not because she had clear skin or a flat stomach,
she had neither of these things.

But, because she knew one day neither of them would matter.
Her smile, however, would last forever.

What isn't beautiful about that?

He said he would fight
but he never did.

Said he wouldn't let me go
then he ran and hid.

I feel like death is calling me;
I find comfort in the thought.
But if I slit these ******* wrists,
would Mother be distraught?

I look at you
And I am home
The door wide open
Hinges need oiling
But that is ok
Because I am home
And the stove is on


Who left the stove on?!

As dark as the ink on these pages
As numb as frostbitten fingers
My heart just beat 3 times as fast
But still a darkness lingers

My head is busy, it wonders
Stomping all the time
A flash and I am back there
His eyes still covered with dimes

Cannot escape the horror
The circus of my life
Are you afraid of clowns, my dear?
Good - '*** this ones bites

They all say sorry
as they grasp my hand.
But you can't really be sorry
for things you don't understand.

I love you but you don't see
That much I can't deny
I care for you more than the wolf
Cares for a moonlit sky

It wasn't meant to bee

I'm the honey
you the bear

because you stole me
from those that really
deserved my flavour

Selling my soul to strangers
For a love that never starts
Cannot lend me their words
On my pictures leaving hearts

Falling in love too quickly
With a man who knows me not
Am I coming off too keen
Does he know what he just lost

She picked up a pen,
and her soul spoke.

He bathes in the tears
of broken-hearted girls

We all sin.
But we aren't all sinners.

And he took my hand and said "I will never treat you the way HE did"

But I didn't believe him, because I had heard those words before.

He didn't want me,
so he used my poor broken heart as an excuse.

Brother dear, wipe your eyes
it hurts my heart to see you cry.

Brother dear, have no fear
if she leaves I am always here.

Brother dear, careful with your heart
don't hand it to her at the very start.

Brother dear, I know it's hard
when your heart sits in your chest fragile and scarred.

You complain,
saying he treats you "like a mug".

But darling, he will always fill his cup
as long as you boil the water.

You see the smile
not the scars.

You see the beauty
not the beatings.

You see the present
not the past.

So why throw your words at me,
when you could throw your arms around me?

Have I asked too much

Asking you to love me
I know it is a task
As am I

I'm a little lost
And I don't really get it
Why are we here
Why are you so close
Yet so distant

How could she leave you
All I can do is love you

Hold me tight and tell me
Please
Tell me you love me

Now I can make myself smile
so I am content in being alone

**** that boy/he ****** with your head/he's got another little pretty girl/laying in his bed.

I said I'd see her later
so she'd think it wasn't planned
But all along I had the pills
gripped tightly in my hand

It is so sad
that I had
to love you
to know that
you never truly
loved me

He is the type
to stab you
and ask you
why you bleed

Don't try to be strong for someone else,
when you aren't even strong enough
to love
YOURSELF!

Hello?
Hi.
Who is this?
It is you.
It is me?
Yes, I am you just a few years from now.
What do you want?
To tell you this is not the way.
But, what other way is there?
Not his way.
But, what else, what other way?
Your way, the door way, any way but this.
Will it hurt?
Not as much as his way does.
But, what else, what other way?
The better way, leave a letter way, any way but this .
But what if he follows?
He will, but you can be strong, I know it.
But, what else, what is my way?
The strong way, do things wrong way, any way but his.
But, what if I can't?
What if I don't?

I could sit before you and use beautiful words and rhyme to tell you how I feel. How I fell.

But that would be a futile attempt, because you never took the time to understand my heart, you understood my skin. Everything that looked pretty, but nothing that felt it, sounded it or lived it.

My eyes? Perfect.
My smile? Perfect.
My shape, stature, hair, epidermis art work? Perfect.

My heart, mind and soul were secondary, and when I asked you to learn them, to understand and study them... it was all "too much" for you, you weren't ready for love.

Yet, you were ready to paint a picture of a life with me. I can be your wife and you could have kids with me. All because your eyes liked the way they felt when they gazed upon me. But taking the time to learn my mind was a chore, clutter that needed clearing out that you could not get to just yet.

Maybe one day, you said, as though my mind could hold off and my heart could pause its affection like we were half way through a movie and needed a moment to grab a bite, as though my skin would wait for you to run your fingers upon it again to resume its aging.

You touch was stimulating, only half as much as your words, thoughts, ideas and dreams. I knew them all. I KNOW them all. I could recite them, because I listened, took them on board and you achieving your dreams became one of mine. Maybe I wasn't listening intently enough, I didn't realise none of these dreams involved me.

I wasn't listening when you were painting a picture of life with me, it was with my body, not my heart, not my soul and not my dreams. You heard the parts of me that best suited you and your needs, the parts of me deemed desirable. I heard every part of you, even the parts that should have made me hate you. Even now this part, the shallow, relentless, unloving-me part.

And yet, I love you still.

Maybe one day I will be old and withered, but my soul, heart and mind still beautiful, and you will be there telling me how you achieved all of your dreams. And in knowing that, I will have achieved one of mine.

You hold your heart
loosely in your hands.
You'd let anyone passing by
hold it too.

Protect that sh*t, man!

And his eyes will always show up where you least expect them...

In your dreams.

Then you left
And it was finally safe to dance again

I found myself in the baron lands
Of love

I cannot turn back clocks
Nor can I travel through time
So I smile when I think back
Not because you made me happy
But because I survived days darker than night
I have lived through horrors worse than those on screens
I have loved more than characters in books
And I have cried rivers longer than those surrounded by lovers

So I can smile really knowing that not all storms last through the night.
And I am alright.

If you could walk a mile in my shoes,
you would need to sit for a while.

So lucky to have you
I never noticed before
Sister I love you
It's you I am thankful for

Come find me here
I'm over here
With locks of fire red

Come find me here
I'm over here
Eyes lifeless and dead

My smile may show
I am happy.
But my eyes will never
hold back pain.

And now I will look back and laugh
realising I gave my everything
I missed you when you were here
and loved you for longer than you deserved
I fought for you
defended you
I cared for you
gave myself up for you

I laugh because
I thought I had never seen anything like you
and the funny part is
I really thought you were the most beautiful thing
I would ever lay eyes on

But today I woke up
stood in front of the mirror
and finally...

I saw my soul

Some nights I fight
Others I fall
If only you were here
To pull me through it all

Four leaf clover
Little black cat
Good luck bad luck
What's up with that?