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Dec 2019 · 312
The nice guy
Isla Dec 2019
you’re sweet
But don't expect me to write love poetry
Don’t you love how I don’t post for literal months and then come back with three poems in one night.

see y’all in 8 years I guess ✌️
Isla Dec 2019
I want it to be you
But I can't make my heart feel
Something it won't.

You were the air in my lungs
Inhale a kiss
Exhale in lies

Sometimes I wonder
Does my voice sound the same
If the love song is not for you
Am I still beautiful
If my eyes don't shine for you
Sometimes I wonder
If I'm in your dreams
If you wish I was yours
Sometimes I wonder how deep the hurt goes
Sometimes I wonder


I hate this. I hate how were so distant and all that's left of us is our ghosts how when you smile its not the same because you know I can't be yours in the way you want me to be .
I see clearly
When I was afraid I clung to you because I thought you were the only thing that could save me but when I see you in this light I realize you are not what I need
Only what I wanted you to be
I'm sorry
I didn't want to break your heart or hurt  you but all I seem to do is make it worse
****
How can I help you when it was I who hurt you?
How will we recover
how will we see the light?
I hate this
I ******* hate this
Yeah I wrote this after breaking up with my SEVENTH GRADE BOYFRIEND, HOW IS THIS SO UPSET?? **** i really did love him  though
Dec 2019 · 211
Ew
Isla Dec 2019
Ew
So I guess I thought I was a poet
But my mind was so filled with him that I couldn’t even find me
So I guess I tried being a songwriter
But my fingers could never find the chords
Or the lyrics
Or the rhythms
So then I guess I fancied myself an artist
But surprise surprise
The slightest touch of pencil to paper appalled me
So I guess I’m not a poet or a writer or an artist
But today at least I like myself a little more than yesterday

And maybe that’s enough
Wow so this site still exists hi
Jul 2019 · 968
friday
Isla Jul 2019
broken souls slump against battered brick walls
the avenue drowning in cheap perfume
drawing in the tired
slick pavement melts the neon lights, bathing the cold street in red reflections

she puffs on a cigarette
smoke clearing her head as it fills her lungs
her lips taste are made of whiskey and a million well kept secrets
her smile never reveals too much
but she has learned not to be afraid
she has learned to keep her head up
she sighs and straightens her back
it’s showtime
https://youtu.be/UKMmfBkrhtY
May 2019 · 416
Our silence
Isla May 2019
I don’t know you
not really anyway
it’s small talk if not silence

but I do know that
you want to be reborn as flowing water
me as a ray of light

maybe
in another way
in another life
just maybe
we could learn to love each other
What am I doING
Jan 2019 · 2.0k
exhale
Isla Jan 2019
to hate is all we know
it is safety  
but what fool mistakes strangulation for affection.

although you have surrendered your icy grip on my heart
in the early hours
cold fingers still pry my eyes open
so you can seep into the edge of my vision

when i dream, you sleep beside me
when I breathe, you are in my lungs
a whisper
a steady rhythm
a constant reminder
to be burdened is all we know
it is safety
  
but despite that
i exhale
and i let you go
guess who's still surviving ****
Nov 2018 · 330
Sunday
Isla Nov 2018
it's snowing in november
i'm not surprised though
i have an essay due tomorrow

but calm beats are twinkling into my earbuds
somewhere a light switches off
and i can taste your perfume at the back of my throat
a whisper in the crowd
in the place between dreaming and consciousness
i can feel your skin
and you smile against my lips
and all i want is to get lost in this
...
but i have an essay due tomorrow
and i'm thinking about you again
i can't focus on anything
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxJ1eUVpnbw
Oct 2018 · 1.7k
404
Isla Oct 2018
404
Error 404
your haiku could not be found
try again later
tumblr who?
i d o n t k n o w h e r
Oct 2018 · 1.3k
Tuesday
Isla Oct 2018
the bell jingles as she steps into the holiday stationstore
on the corner of two discarded streets, signs too battered to read
there was free hot chocolate on tuesdays
it was always a little too sweet
the cream-colored tile is stained by thousands of half-cleaned messes
the faint squeak of the roller grill complimenting
cheesy pop music
bright packages scream brand names she never buys
she picks a cup, the smallest size
and fills it
ignoring the drips of pumpkin spice on the counter,
left by a hurried predecessor
she adds cream
she doesn't think about the calories
she doesn't think about what her friends are up to
she doesn't think about how much she hates hearing this **** song
she thinks about grabbing a snickers for the road
shredded black combat boots thump to the register
she sets her snickers bar on the counter
paying the cashier (jeremy) with a crumpled dollar bill
his gray eyes brim with something like pity, like they do every week
she pretends not to see
he says something
she pretends not to hear
he says something else
she walks out
icy rain makes her pull her hood tighter
she sips the cocoa
it always was a little too sweet
yes, there is free cocoa at the holiday stationstore, if anyone was wondering
Sep 2018 · 4.5k
Plain
Isla Sep 2018
she looked out from the inside
at the world
rushing by
all the people hurried past
and no one ever smiled
no one had the time
no one had the time
to stop
and look at her
really look at her
why would they look?
she was plain
anyone could see that
with brown eyes and straight brown hair
she had acne on her forehead
her front teeth stuck out a little
anyone could see that
she had a nervous habit of biting her nails
then again all her habits were nervous
but anyone could see that

but she was not plain

she had eyes that melted into honey when she laughed
and turned to a starless night when she cried
sunlight would frame her profile, just to be close to her skin
and when a smile graced her lips
the world held its breath
because look at her
just
look
why does no one see it?
Aug 2018 · 3.1k
dammit
Isla Aug 2018
I can't write
I actually physically can't
OK
OK how about, something with flowers
Not like that's been done 1000000000 times
I swear to god anymore similes and I will

punch

my

own

esophagus

This is terrible
OK ummm
Fish tanks?
Fish tanks aren't all that poetic
I can't think of anything
I think I'm dried up
Like an empty...
Fish tank
******
Wait a minute
What if I just write something about
Not knowing what to write
That would be easy
It also explains why this *****
******
The creativity well has run dry friends

*punches self in esophagus for putting this on my page*
Jul 2018 · 489
cyanide
Isla Jul 2018
She runs away in her sleep
Only to find paradise
In her lover's venomous kiss
i thought it was honey dripping from your lips
but it was really just venom from your fangs
Jul 2018 · 654
strangers pt 2
Isla Jul 2018
His eyes shown with a thousand words he could never say
As he turned his back
Each step
Another reason why he wished to stay
Jul 2018 · 428
strangers
Isla Jul 2018
"Turn around!"
She wishes the rain would cut her skin to ribbons
Drawing the heel of her hand across her eyes
Gravel cuts into the soles of her bare feet
Puddles splashing under his retreating footsteps
He doesn't even pause
"Turn around!"
Repeating her plead feels like desperation
It almost is
Almost
She wills her voice not to break
"Look at me when you say it!"
He walks on
Never wavering
Icy droplets cut her until the shiver settles in her bones
Then she speaks his name
The name of her almost anonymous lover
Almost
And he stops
The rain turning his silhouette gray and defeated
Her breath catches in her throat
In the space between heartbeats she can see him touch his lips
As if remembering their last kiss
She swears he almost trembles
Almost
And she shuts her eyes
Letting him paint the backs of her eyelids one last time
"I'm so afraid."
She whispers to no one and everyone all at once
Afraid of letting him slip away
Afraid of losing her grip
When she opens her eyes  
He's gone
But then again
He was never really there
Isla Jun 2018
As long as we stay here,
Behind this
Curtain of tainted reality, we are a
Definitive image of
Euphoria
For when I am with you,
Gospel is found painted on your skin.
Here, at least, satisfaction isn't fake
I don't want to think it through
Just pretending works well enough.
Kids playing with matches is what we are,
Lying in this fire we started.
Maybe if you are close enough, if you are
Near enough
Or if I kiss you long enough, some
Pressure will be lifted, my
Quest to feel satiated complete.
Regret has no place in your touch
So hold me a little longer than usual;
Take me somewhere only we know.
Use my heart, but try not to break it.
Venomous lips and a heart to match
Want to give it a try?
Youth is a fickle thing, with cherry red
Xs slicing through our responsibilities. Sad to say babe, but we're
Zinnias in a garden that was always destined to burn.
Not sure if I used that semi colon right. I worked really ******* this one, suggest anything to improve please.
Jun 2018 · 4.0k
Monday
Isla Jun 2018
It rained today
I know it's your favorite weather
it was mine too
but today when water poured from the heavens
it poured from the walls
and it poured from the corners of my eyes
It rained today
and my lungs filled up
I could not breathe
but I could not let go  
so I sat alone
alone with only the thundering rain to console me
pouring from the heavens
pouring from the walls
pouring from the corners of my eyes
because the one thing I want
is the one thing I can never have
the one thing I want
is to find you
but even if you scream
How would I hear you
over the rain
I guess history finals make me want to think about death. Understandable.
Jun 2018 · 687
Mother Nature
Isla Jun 2018
I look over and see the rolling hills

They stretch long like your smile

I glance up and see the radiant sun

It shines like your eyes

I peer down into the pond

it is flowing and soothing like your voice

You are here with me

You are my mother nature
A poem written by a friend who wanted me to post it on my page.
May 2018 · 539
i can't breathe
Isla May 2018
I'm shaking
why am I shaking?
breathing rapid
eyes wide
tears fuzz the edges of my vision
indifferent faces swirl
like a van gogh painting
I hug myself to keep my heart intact
I can't breathe
it's so loud
why is everyone so loud?
no one is here to save me
no one is here to protect me
help me
please help me
I'm shaking
why am I shaking?
first panic attack, always such a lovely time
May 2018 · 979
glow
Isla May 2018
I'm still glowing
with the light
you instilled

a single flame in my heart
illuminating
the hollow that remains
where you used to be

wavering at times
but never ceasing
though the world threatens to ***** it out

and though you are gone
I still glow
for my grandma, who passed away when I was pretty young. Only now do I know the importance of what she was trying to teach me.
May 2018 · 636
Don't mind me, darling
Isla May 2018
Don't mind me, darling
if my lips brush yours
it's only because I can't see straight
when we dance like this

Pardon me, honey
if I'm being too forward
it's just the rhythm
of the song my heart sings

Excuse me, babe
if I laugh too emphatically
it's merely our merriment taking over

So if we fall in love tonight
blame it on the music
"you are my favorite song"
- lib, HelloPoetry
Apr 2018 · 775
love.
Isla Apr 2018
She is unfinished stories and dog-eared adventure books. She is adorned with string lights and stray cat toys, an overflowing junk drawer and a perfectly loud laugh. She is kind brown eyes and witty comments. She is first.

He is pastel tears and bird feathers. He is Twenty One Pilots' lyrics and faded polaroids. He speaks in hushed tones and drinks mint tea. He will hold and let himself be held. He is empathy.

She is firey spirit and winged eyeliner. Glitter and badassery. She is scarred and beautiful. She protects and yells. Cries and laughs. She is ***** jokes and black clothes. She is who I am too timid to be.

He is a lone flame and endless darkness all at once. He is a sharp blade and subdued smile. Strong coffee, pop-tarts, and ripped jeans. Tae kwon do and boy scouts. He is too often forgotten.

She is buck teeth and Greatest Showman lyrics. Stubbornness and freckles. Conceals her self-consciousness with mock confidence. Funny faces and the best dance moves. She hides my things and steals my clothes. She stirs up trouble in the best way.

He is soft smiles and lego armies. He loves cats and make-believe (though video games are his first love). Creates pillow forts and mysteries, art and movie magic. He wears glowstick necklaces and no shirt proudly, as he should. He loves my heart.

She is willow trees and afternoon tea. Gentle rain and improv games. Quirky and polite, she is decorated with her gap-toothed smile and childish style. She hands out stickers and strums her ukelele with affection. She inspires me.

He. Oh God, he. He is summer skies and skateboards. Braces and freckles. He is a shell-collector and songwriter. He loves the stage. Compassion and hand-holding, cheek kisses and free smiles. He is devotion.

They hold me, and I hold them. We cry, we laugh, we hate. We sing and we dance, we talk about our dreams. We depend on each other. We love one another. Many would not be here without me.

And I couldn't be here without them.
This is my longest poem on HelloPoetry, dedicated to my wonderful, wonderful friends, those described in this poem and otherwise. I love you so much, don't ever forget that. ( also, kudos to you if you actually read all that!)
Apr 2018 · 507
suffocation
Isla Apr 2018
doubt fills my head until I am drowning in it
even when I come up for air, another wave crashes over
trapping me under the surge of the tide
a relentless sea
to cleanse this relentless mind
but I don't feel cleansed
for my thoughts are broken and scattered
like pieces of glass on the sand
where waves crash
trapping me under the surge of the tide
a relentless sea
and this broken mind
I have no idea where this came from, just word ***** mostly
Apr 2018 · 323
I would carry the world
Isla Apr 2018
I would carry the world on my shoulders
or die a thousand deaths
just to see you smile
I would confess
or I would lie
just to hear that laugh again
I would search the great unknown
if it would help you heal
I would carry the world on my shoulders
and for you
I wouldn't mind the weight
For my mom, whom I would do anything for.
Apr 2018 · 483
backs of my eyelids
Isla Apr 2018
The image of you
babe, it's like a tattoo
see the hues of those eyes
every time i close mine
and suddenly
i cannot breathe
****** darling
you've taken me
ehhhhh don't really like this one but I feel bad for not posting anything lately, sorry (it sounds better if you read it like a song or rap)
Apr 2018 · 1.4k
nomadic heart
Isla Apr 2018
stay in one place too long
and the air becomes dust
choking me
drowning me
an urge to escape
like a gypsy
in the blanket of the night
but when i see those eyes
sparkling at me
shining for me
i know i am home
ahh yes, we need some more love poetry because why not. Might edit this later to make it not so lovey-dovey.
Apr 2018 · 330
infatuation
Isla Apr 2018
infatuation
is the worst
yet most beautiful
fatality
Apr 2018 · 572
Kaleidoscope
Isla Apr 2018
life was in grayscale
eyes wide open yet blind
you're the thing that makes the world explode
into that one indescribable
color.
Apr 2018 · 605
Haunted
Isla Apr 2018
he goes to work and sees too many things
for a man who's barely 43
people in plastic wrap
and suitcases
bags and boxes
wash up on the edge of the Mississippi
sanguinary flowers bloom from temples and chests
needles and pill bottles
scattered on floors of broken homes
victims and families
go through so much more
but that nagging worry still pierces my chest
that one day it will become too much
for that man who's barely 43
that it will hollow him out
and that he will be haunted
Mar 2018 · 358
Disparaged
Isla Mar 2018
I'm feeling hopeless tonight
like a dream deferred
or a candle in the wind
Mar 2018 · 442
Why I Won't Forgive You
Isla Mar 2018
just when i forgive you
just when i put our past behind
and remember how much you care
and how much you try
it hits like a slap to my face
why didn't i see it coming?
i yell
and blubber
and shriek vulgarities
but in the end, it won't matter
because this is you
and it happens
every
*******
time
my grandfather was just accused of ****** one of my half-cousins. He has never been a good dad to my mother, so i wrote this from her perspective.
Mar 2018 · 1.5k
Nostalgia
Isla Mar 2018
nature flutters, waltzing in time with the breeze
lazy sunlight filters through branches
we lie together, two blending into one
you wind a stray curl around your finger
i turn to look into your eyes,
bluer than the august sky
freckles spatter your cheeks
all around us, things bloom
my heart along with it
yeah yeah I know nobody wanted more sappy love poetry but deal with it
Mar 2018 · 356
love poetry? gross.
Isla Mar 2018
first valentine
first kiss
first love
first longing
first heartbreak
you took them all
how selfish of you
They all belong to you
Mar 2018 · 301
Expanse
Isla Mar 2018
I gaze upon stars
the same stars you see
they bring me closer
closer
but not close enough
It should comfort me, but it only reminds me how far apart we really are.
Mar 2018 · 287
the void that is you
Isla Mar 2018
eyes bright as stars
a smile with more radiance than any sun  
galaxies mapped in your eyes,
infinite while indefinite
stay here
and let me name every constellation
turns out the galaxy and you are kind of the same thing
Mar 2018 · 283
Delete
Isla Mar 2018
Backspace          
Remove              
Cut out              
Obliterate
Expun
Cancel                
Omit                  
Efface
Demolish
Terminate
Revoke          
Eradicate
Blot out
Negate
Extinguish
Undo
Disengage
Erase
Abridge
Repudiate
Void
Retract
Abrogate
What is our purpose here, other than to regret things we cannot delete?
Consumed by guilt is no way to live, but it is the only way I know.
Mar 2018 · 399
Untitled
Isla Mar 2018
who knew
that emptiness
could have such
poisonous potency
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa
Mar 2018 · 327
Untitled
Isla Mar 2018
Won’t you lie here with me? Can’t we just let the world slip away?
Or would it hurt you too much to let anyone near your heart? Even if that someone is me?
Won’t you say anything at all? Even if it’s not what I want to hear? I’d rather have harsh truths than kind lies.
And I know you will not lie. You will not be kind.
Your face is stoic, it makes me want to cry.
Do you not feel anything? Does anything break through the surface of your skepticism? Though I try and try to see past your unrelenting negativity you continue to surprise me with your coldness. How do you stay so cold?
The silence you project is screaming, pounding in my ears and everything in me burns for the affection you refuse to give.
Why do you pretend I’m not even here? I want a way out, but being alone terrifies me more than you do. Terrifies me more than the silence and the cold. Maybe after a while, the coldness won’t hurt.

I can wait.
Just something I wrote on a plane ride when I was feeling poetic

— The End —