broken souls slump against battered brick walls
the avenue drowning in cheap perfume
drawing in the tired
slick pavement melts the neon lights, bathing the cold street in red reflections
she puffs on a cigarette
smoke clearing her head as it fills her lungs
her lips taste are made of whiskey and a million well kept secrets
her smile never reveals too much
but she has learned not to be afraid
she has learned to keep her head up
she sighs and straightens her back
do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you
Is this depression?
I don’t know you
not really anyway
it’s small talk if not silence
but I do know that
you want to be reborn as flowing water
me as a ray of light
in another way
in another life
we could learn to love each other
What am I doING
my one wish is
to find someone
who sees the world
as beautiful as i do
with their mouth
preaching poetic beauty
as i have once did
to all the boys
i have loved
in the quagmire of her self contempt
a flame ignites beneath
the blackened caldron
set to cook in a *** of tepid water
she was being devoured
from the inside out
the things we do to ourselves...
The day came when my pen no longer
Wrote your name
Comes in many forms
to hate is all we know
it is safety
but what fool mistakes strangulation for affection.
although you have surrendered your icy grip on my heart
in the early hours
cold fingers still pry my eyes open
so you can seep into the edge of my vision
when i dream, you sleep beside me
when I breathe, you are in my lungs
a steady rhythm
a constant reminder
to be burdened is all we know
it is safety
but despite that
and i let you go
guess who's still surviving ****