Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Sep 2019 · 82
Bliss
Sharde' Fultz Sep 2019
Romantic Love has always been ironically, over romanticized for me.
It just appeared to be too much
Too irrational
Too cartoonishly blissful
This could be from a life of witnessing too much romantic hurt
Too much of the flip side of what romantic love could do.
The harm.
The loss of trust
All the broken pieces
So I never felt it was something worth seeking
It was cute
It was good for movies
But now I guess I get it
Love songs have a bit of a deeper meaning now
And I get the bliss.
Bliss, blissful, love, hope, security, songs, hurt
Aug 2019 · 177
It's Chemicals
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2019
This is my brain on drugs
This is my brain in love

The high is so good
To feel understood
To feel so secure by your touch

When I wake up and thank Jesus for another day
I feel guilty, as I wrestle
to keep thoughts of you at bay.

Tho I always win
You're my whiskey, my gin

And I reach for you after I pray.
I was just thinking about the science behind falling in love and hope it affects us on a chemical level.
Jul 2019 · 228
You Gotta Be Mine
Sharde' Fultz Jul 2019
singing* You just called me, "Beautiful."
Now you've got to be mine foreverrr.... (2x)
--repeats in background for duration of poem--
  You just called me--
I hate that it's so easy.

Now you've gotta be mine  foreh--I hate that its so easy to please me
when you say things
that makes me think that you see me
as who I want to be
and the way you say it,
it -it touches me
I'm naive
-
-
I want to believe
-
-
-
-
You just called me...
I want to trust you
I want to believe your intentions are true
and its not me in a fantasy
but its you just
-
-
-
being you
you just called me beautiful
All you did was call me, "beautiful."
but your words spoke to my soul
cause I know you know things about me that I don't like to show
and I think you've dug something up in me
that was unknown
and odd
and free
and foreign
-
-
-
now you've gotta be mine foreh--*
and willing.
and unencumbered
-
-
-
-
-
-
You see? Now you've gotta be mine
cause I'm too fragile
-
-
I'm too exposed
you can't break into my heart
and unlock all these doors
that've been guardin who knows?
-
-
no, this is a two person job
-
-
you shoulda watched how you talked.
-
-
and now you're mine.
you gotta be mine.
you gotta be mine.
you gotta be mine. *repeats till fades out
This poem sorta erupted when a soulful song came up on my playlist and I sorta ran with this beat that I started humming. I think it's oddly a little dark. We don't really know if the speaker has found someone genuine or if for some reason she just falls for someone that seems to say the right thing but nevertheless she's hooked and she now somewhat depends on this person's affection because they brought something out of her that had been hidden for a long time. This was fun!
Feb 2019 · 141
Untitled atm
Sharde' Fultz Feb 2019
Kept sittin my notebook by my bed like I was about to write
Thought it would motivate me
All it did was make me feel guilty every night
Sittin there mockin me
Making me feel like less than myself
Like I lost all my artistry
I didnt start cause I didnt believe in me, honestly.
Like if Im gonna write it has to be special
It has to say something
Be visceral
Prolific
Live beyond my life expectancy
Be better than my last piece of poetry.
So I didnt.

And it sat there.
Aug 2018 · 1.8k
Quiet
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2018
Quiet crickets.

Quiet light of moon

Quiet cars along the road
--Go'n be home soon

Quiet AC on too late
Quiet humming charger in the outlet
Quiet bathroom 'cross the hall, water dripping from the faucet

Quiet floors while set'ling in
You're too old for all that whinin'
Quiet creatures awake before the sun
The signals when it's shinin'

Quiet indistinguishable shadow still yet so foreboding
Oh, you're just a pile of clothes that I never got to folding

Quiet drafty window singing with such vigor and such soul
Catch a chill from that night air
Might catch a runny nose

Quiet thoughts-that handsome stranger, worries, deadlines, dreams, 'n stuff
Quiet bedtime playlist streaming
Clearly you were'nt good enough

Quiet poem bursting from me my
Admonition of defeat

quiet quiet.

too much quiet-

quiet, would you let me sleep?

2:46am 8.30.18
Aug 2018 · 1.0k
Bliss
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2018
I used to loathe when tired, those who erred to disregard the pull of thoughts towards the complexities that make us who we are. Or perhaps the tug they never feel, the stinging ***** within the soul. That scratch that must be raked by nails until one feels they fin'lly "know."

I loathed the hedonist's sweet relief
The gratification and tunneled vision
The scarless frames, the husks they may be,
The innocence of things unseen-
I once would wish that I could be so null to that which mattered most. Its relative, but even still I wished that I was like those folks.

11:36p
8.28.18
This is the first poem I've ever written  that was a random prompt (owned existence) as well as written without editing (I hit backspace only twice! Thats an achievement) and as SOON as I questioned it I saved it
Dec 2017 · 218
Untitled (10w)
Sharde' Fultz Dec 2017
You make me smile somewhere deep
Where I'm more me
Dec 2017 · 353
Just Being
Sharde' Fultz Dec 2017
The ground?
The ground is gone. Im floating past sunsets and sunrises
Im floating through hellos and goodbyes
Im floating below the heavens
And just above the singe of hell's fires
I'm floating with my debts
I'm floating with my pains
I'm floating with my future and my past
I'm there
Suspended
The air is thin
My breaths are small
But just enough
And I see it all
I feel it all
But numb to consequence
I've kept my drive
I'll hold my loves
But I float amidst the cares
They graze my skin and float away
The ground?
The ground is gone and I feel its gone forever
I'm just in a weirld space where I'm functioning but it all feels a little hapless in the grand scheme of it all. Sounds depressing but I'm okay lol
Jul 2017 · 420
Craft
Sharde' Fultz Jul 2017
Folded ripped and unfolded
You see the symmetry and its beautiful
But when you take a step closer you see the emptiness in the tears.
You see the valleys left behind in each crease of every fold
The rugged edges of the rip
Fingerprints left from a sweaty hold
Yes, upon closer inspection I am but the sum of my parts
And often all my parts appear to be disasters
And often they are
I trot around like a work of art
But few see what it took to get that way
How I was folded ripped and unfolded
Few can't see past what it took
They see the holes left in me but not the pretty shapes
And some see the shapes and I wish they'd acknowledge the holes
Still even fewer can comprehend the resulting work
And frankly, Sometimes I'm not sure I do
But I manage
A crippled work of art made beautiful by how neatly she was torn apart
I struggle to hold my new form in the wind and amongst viewers
Try to look like something relatable
And not like life spent too long on me
Worked till it got weary and persisted when really it should have rested its eyes
I try
To uphold my form as though every overworked corner and tear isn't centimeters away from destruction
As though the slightest snag or tug won't leave me hanging
Noticeably Deformed and mishapen
But I stretch and I retract with grace
Perhaps this is how I dance now
my life a pas de deux of trying to hold it all together
Just folded, ripped, and unfolded.
Mar 2017 · 542
As If
Sharde' Fultz Mar 2017
Ill go Stacey Dash on you
Blastin you
Actin like my daddy ain't black
Attackin You
With these alternative facts
Hate the "fake news"
So I can fool wypipo into havin ME on they team
Low self esteem has made me green with envy for the machine
There's no in between
I don't support you
I hate your black support groups
Why don't you just pull YOURself up
By YOUR bootstraps while I deport you
Cause I'll resort to a white face
And paint my own race
As lame
My claim to fame
Clueless
To the truth
I Maintain this
Self-hate
My lips stay lyin' through my tooths
I don't mind being their puppet
Long as they keep my noose loose

"As If" -Sharde' Fultz 3.2.17
Mar 2017 · 483
Do You Get a Poem?
Sharde' Fultz Mar 2017
Im not gon' write a poem about you.
Uh uh.
I'm not about to allow you to make me FEEL
And allow you to fill
Me up
In such a way that my subconscious has to throw you up and onto a page
Nope
I'm not about to write a poem for you
Nooo siree, you see I've made that mistake
Prior.

When I was young and silly and hopeful.

I went and bought a fancy pen
The kind that writes so smoothly and makes my cursive extra pretty, but you know it bleeds?

I thought the ink that dripped from MY pen once it soaked through
It would sort of seal  us in the paper
Like I said, I was mistaken so
No.

I'm not about to write a poem for you TOO

And just leave myself exposed?
I mean who knows
if I replace those little tiny "o"s for hearts over my "i"s when I dot em that soon you could care less
For the stress on my esteem after you're mean leaving the apples of my cheeks with salty tears streaming down them
So naw'l
I refuse to tell the world how you made me blush when your lips found them.
Or how we had so much in common
It was raining but we just kept walking
You made me laugh until I was coughin'
I ain't gonna do it
I've learned its better to not let you soften-

my heart

But instead I mold bricks
cause it seems noone wants to actually bring any GOOD to it.
Seems 9 times out of ten all they want to DO
Is to do IT
when all I want is you to put
my hand in yours and stare into my eyes and search my heart and not my thighs
I'm not gonna try

And make this something more than what is was.

Just because of what I felt the warm and fuzz of flirty words spoken over Patty melts?
It was nice.
But I dont think that warrant's you a poem.

Not an admonition of my humanness
Not another proclamation of my foolishness

for allowing myself to think,
dare  I say hope
that those two hours of my precious life were 2 not wasted?
And Not worth the energy for me to store the memory
in the best way made for me to preserve it?
A poem?
How am I supposed to know that you deserve it?

But how can I resist within that moment?

After reflectin' on my day I find my mind keeps
pressing replay
on those two hours in Ferndale
And how we talked until nightfell.
Forgot to feed the meter cause what is time?
Hell I was frozen by you, guy.
I digged my nose into your life and just kept goin.
  
You had the audacity to inquire about my dreams and all my passions
and what makes me get up outta bed every morning

So I HAD to ask you back

And I listened
And I enjoyed what you said
And as we parted ways I had to immediately LIE
and document it in my head
Under "non-important"

It was nice

But don't let yourself get excited

Felt like I was on cloud 9 but gotta hide it
Come off the high
Cause what if in the end it's unrequited?

and I'm upset with you
Regretting you
No.
HATING you for letting me feel slighted
Yeah you tried it.

I mean YOU didn't.

At least not yet...

I just don't wanna write another poem that I'll want to forget.
Mar 2017 · 1.9k
State of Affairs
Sharde' Fultz Mar 2017
I decided I'm goin in.
Yall dun' slipped up and left me with a pen.
It seems lately I been under-drinkin'
Over-sober over-contemplating what's been really happening.

I'm usually a lot more subtle.

I give the benefit of the doubt like I'm a Catholic priest absolving ******' sins.
Confusing my honesty for reckless abandon-in
To your chagrin, just hecause you're unable to comprehend.

You don't move through this world in the shoes I'm in.

I bet no ones ever called you a sub-human.

Did that election make YOU question all your caucasian friends? Their motives, their thoughts, biases,
Lookin for Microaggressions?
Now those relationships are withered at the ends and it depends on larger hearts and open minds to try and mend and re-begin?
Because someone you love insulted ALL your kin.
Supporting someone who blatantly hates them.
Tunnel vision.Could only see what they wanted Sanctity of life only applies to babies aborted
Christians were thwarted!
How someone with a thumbs up from the Ku Klux have anything to do with what the Lord did?!

Granted, the deed is done and hey the truth is out!
They were wolves in sheep's clothes till the Pres. Came out
in broad daylight
He basically made it awright
to grossly generalize a race AND do so in plain sight
Now ALL the racist crazy folk are poppin  at the mouth.
On social media like the 50's in the segregated south,
Spewing hate behind a screename sittin' on they mama's couch
'cept we millenials are rowdy and we'll roll up at yo house.
How's it 2017 and we still schoolin' folk?
Gotta tell you Black  lives matter cause you actin like we dont.
In retrospect, it was for the best cause now we ALL woke!
Feb 2017 · 408
HIStory So White
Sharde' Fultz Feb 2017
HIStory So White  
I'm so sick and tired of hearing about HIStory and its butchery.
It's like every time I go online I'm clicking on what reveals another lie.
Another untold fact.
Another white-washed tale.
Another brother or sister's story to which they said, "What the hell, it's just another *****. Who they go'n tell?"
But that's not what they teach us "******" today
Or the rest of the world
And they smile in our face like its all okay.
History so white, man.
HIS story SO white!
But it simply doesn't add up when we all know this nation was built off the Black man's  plight.
By virtue of the blood sweat and tears we poured into this land we took what we were given and molded it into minds of business and healing and growth.
But HIStory wouldn't let you know.
They saw our creativity and ingenuity and either claimed it as their own
Or conveniently failed to mention us for so long
Not giving credit where it's due until you and your whole family's dead and gone
It's 2017 and we still don't know what REALLY went on.
So no, I can't trust this place.
Not with me and my people.
This U.S.of A. That's supposed to be breaking race
Boundaries
But it seems to me we take a step forward and two steps back
Why are our prisons filled to the rim with Blacks?
I wanna trust you, America. I really do.
But you aren't giving me much to work with.
I know there are worse places to be.
Honestly.
But I don't always feel like THIS place is for me.
Like, its not always also MY land of the free.
28 days of hollow black reverence doesn't do me much of a service
Besides a reminder of how much you deserted US and OUR histories.
Cause HIStory SO white.
I wanted to write something in honor of black history month.
Sep 2016 · 1.8k
Dem GMOs, bro.
Sharde' Fultz Sep 2016
Genetically. Modified. Organism.
We do a lot o'talkin
And a lotta ppl mad at that name.
But I got dipped in the water to proclaim,
Im a GMO.
The fall of man didnt hold the power to tie me down no mo
My descension simultaneously displayed the ascension of my soul
My eyes glow with the reflection of my heavenly father who transcended from ***** feet with blistered soles
Ive been genetically modified to not see the world as which we know
We're living in the fog worshipping the money that we grow
We dont follow the narrow road
We dont love ourselves no mo.
Spent too much time bein broke
Caught a break, bought a whip
Bought some jays, bought some rims
But gettin towed
Whole house repoed
Iced out, chrome.
gold.
Investments? zero
We need new heroes

Drank the lies that ***** whipped into our minds while we were bleedin on his ***
Breaking earth and pulling weeds
We gluin weaves like, dawg. Where my edges go?
Now you tryna train yo naps cause everybody goin au natural
But you STILL mad cause yo curl pattern dont show that 2 percent of Navajo.
Changed yo hair but didnt change yo thinkin tho
Too long that permed subconscious sinkin through yo follicles
Mother earth dun been pulled harder than those edges
Act like you got some self-respect, go outside and clip those hedges
But her roots dug up
The seeds we sew
Aint enough to feed the whole
The rich, THEY bite the hand that feeds
But their stomachs; still on swole?
People like to get online and fuss,
Stop the GMOs!
Following the likes and living in fear sgonna leave the po--
HUNGRY. ..and po
I mean, what is science, fo?!
With climate change, and the persistent depletion of arable land, where yo seed gone go?
How yo plants gone grow?
Hopefully that won't have to be the case but I get the feelin
Mama nature's feelinnn
So'...

Shoot, Seasons dont know which way to flow
Cause we're walkin down the street throwin trash all on her flo
Like we aint neva been to anybody house befo.
Fillin it up wit smoke blottin out the sunlight
Making her plants choke.
Now the clouds broke.
Cryin acid rain and now your drinkin waters soaked

Im not tryna throw shade.
Im not half as deep as the aformentioned might denote
I aint gon lie
I dont
STAY.

woke .
I dont do my research on every clever quote
That I post
Hey, Im the FIRST one to let you know that I dont know.
But when I DO know
Aaaand I know fasho
And I hear somebody like, yeah this and that and so and so...talkin OUTside they ear. HOLE?!
I be like,
bro...
smh




-*sorry, I'm sleepy and have not proofread
Umm..cpl things; I was feeling all artsy fartsy after an open mic and a woman read a poem that mentioned how she was mad she didnt get her grandmas pretty indian hair and idk how my train of thought got to gmos, but my blender brain created this and I reckon I like it. At the moment. Lol
May 2016 · 364
Afore...
Sharde' Fultz May 2016
In this place I've  built
In this space I've built
On your face I felt all the warmth.

When the days have melt
When the ways have melt
And your gaze has left me forlorn

There are stays I remember
There are "hey"s I remember
That phase in and out of my sight

Oh the haze of orange embers
Embrace of the winter
To again face an unending night
May 2016 · 734
Barriers
Sharde' Fultz May 2016
You'll  have to remove those bricks, sir.
I'm  afraid I've  built some walls.
I'm  a better mason than I'd  like to admit.
May 2016 · 389
The Garden
Sharde' Fultz May 2016
Lost in thoughts so wisely I'll take sure advantage of this time
I'll milk it, I'll juice it. For all its gracious goodness
I'll  pour it out
And watch it create streams in the soil of my soul
And nourish the groves of my thoughts exhausted vines
Synapses
Snaps
Sparks and flames
My brains in waves of emotion and tortures
Ambivalence nagging my rights and my lefts
My ups and my downs
Swirling round and round in this colorful garden.
The sun sets in the distance leaving a purple blue sky
Then darkness all but the whites of my eyes
And the fruits
And the flowers
In the garden.

My mind.
May 2016 · 702
Pleas(e)
Sharde' Fultz May 2016
Don't  leave me
Don't toss me aside
Pretend you care
Pretend you need me
Pretend you want me
As much as I...
As much as I want
you
As much as I  want you to.
As much as I want you to want.
Me.
Couldn't sleep. What else is new?
Sharde' Fultz Apr 2016
The infamous "C" word
I'm actually ambivalent about hearing Cancer referred to in that way
Cause yes its ugly, yes, its terrible
But its something we need to say
We need people to hear that word
And feel the fear, the sadness, the Disgust.  the anger
Let that word settle in the mind and every letter metastesize until it creates a giant mass in this culture 
Let it grow so large that it can't be avoided
Let it push aside all the worlds organs and make room for itself until The pain is unbearable!
Let our communities cough cough cough
COUGH it out
And cough it up
Until pharmacies and hospitals run out of tissues
Until its reached the hearts of politicians

Go on!  Don't be afraid to say cancer...
And while you're at it don't forget me.
I don't care about my name
But don't forget the faces you DON'T see
That's the adolescent and young adult cancer bunch, I know you probably haven't heard much about us.
But what a pleasure it would be!
To awake one morning and have left it all behind.
To not have it's lingering aches and pains
Forever Burdening our bodies and minds?

See it doesn't make sense when WE hurt.
So I'm a part of yet another minority.
One with faaar less research...
And far MORE misdiagnosis
We're young and healthy 
So a sudden cough
is eeeasily tuberculosis

Or the flu,
Or a headache,
So OUR cancers goes unnoticed.

But even later down the line
When we've found it in our lungs.
Or spine. Or bones because we young adults are KNOWN to get the RAREST kind.

Post-having found it in our blood
Or lurking throughout our tissues
We're once again faced with another haughty list of damning issues.

don't get me wrong cancer is the worst no matter what your age may be.
To see our grandparents have to suffer?
Or an innocent baby with this disease?!
No.
it's never easy on the eyes and even harder on the heart
But THIS poem...
This poem. just for once.
is for a special part.
For this club no one wants to be part of.
This group coalesced with every color and faith but all sharing the same needs...donning the same scars...
Facing questions without answers

Don't you dare have the audacity to be afraid to say, "Cancer"

I say these words for some of my dearest friends,
The Living and the MANY deceased-
For THEY
have shaaared in my unique. griefs!
THEY have encountered these micro. organic. thieves.
That steal our TIME!
Precious, formative, years of our lives. 
That we can never get back!
Babies don't have to worry about that.
Our grandparents and elders don't either, these are just the facts, people.
We have fragments of our fragile lives that surgeries can't suture
Time that should be spent in school.
Or pursuing our dreams.
But instead forcing us to think 15 years into our futures
Wondering how we'll tell our husband's and wives that we can't have children
we can biologically call "mine"?

Even still.

don't be afraid to say cancer.
Because it forces me to remember what I've learned.
I've witnessed miracles first-hand that a scalpel could never know
I love!
And I love hard
And from a place of deep, sincere, empathy
For my fellow man no matter how great or small his burdens be
After what I've gone through my faith outweighs my fear
In fact, I'm fearless!
I'm indestructible
I'm a pro at sweat and tears!
And now here I am before you
a living testament,
left with a raggedy lung
And A quarter of my intestines

For Dawn, for Jordan, for Lili, Bill, for Merideth, for Carly, for Taylor, Delaney, for Meghan...
For Katy, for Beth, for Eugenio
And for Jen...
I'm here today for the 72000 Adolescents and young adults diagnosed with cancer
year on end.

I'm here for all the silent warriors
All those that have *****-stained chain mail, cancer cells dripping from the tips of their swords.
With chemo pumping though their veins and radiation burning through their breast-plates
--whose shields don ribbons and middle fingers, and crosses and curse words!

and I'm begging YOU, 
OOOH you lucky few that have not the pleasure to take on this heavy, honorable, garb.
That when you're raising money.
When you're saying your prayers.
When you're deciding how you're going to make some sort of difference in this insane and tragic world.
Don't be afraid to say cancer.
Don't forget about us.
The first poem is mor elike 5 poems in one. I felt that people wouldn't care to read it or even sit and listen to someone recite it at that length. Who knows? So I tweaked it a bit and took out some parts. The cool thing is that I now have the option to manipulate the poem like a puzzle to suit whatever atmosphere I want it to complement. Enjoy!
Sharde' Fultz Mar 2016
The infamous "C" word
I'm actually ambivalent about hearing Cancer referred to in that way
Cause yes its ugly, yes, its terrible
But its something we need to say
We need people to hear that word
And feel the fear, the sadness, the Disgust.  the anger
Let that word settle in the mind and every letter metastisize until it creates a giant mass in this culture
Let it grow so large that it can't be avoided
Let it push aside all the worlds organs and make room for itself until The pain is unbearable!
Let our communities cough cough cough
COUGH it out
And cough it up
Until pharmacies and hospitals run out of tissues
Until its reached the hearts of politicians
Go on. Don't be afraid to say cancer...
And while you're at it don't forget me.
I don't care about my name
But don't forget the faces you DONT see
That's the adolescent and young adult cancer bunch, I know you probably haven't heard much about us.
But what a pleasure it would be!
To awake one morning and have left it all behind.
To not have it's lingering aches and pains
Forever Burdening my body and my mind?

See it doesn't make sense when WE hurt.
So I'm a part of yet another minority.
One with faaar less research...
And far MORE misdiagnosis
We're young and healthy
So a sudden cough
is eeeasily tuberculosis

Or the flu,
Or a headache,
So OUR cancers goes unnoticed.

But even later down the line
When we've found it in our lungs.
Or spine. Or bones because we young adults are KNOWN to get the RAREST kind.

Post-having found it in our blood
Or lurking throughout our tissues
We're once again faced with another haughty list of damning issues.

don't get me wrong cancer is the worst no matter what your age may be.
To see our grandparents have to suffer?
Or an innocent baby with this disease?!
No.
it's never easy on the eyes and even harder on the heart
But THIS poem...
This poem. just for once.
is for a special part.
For this club no one wants to be part of.
This group coalesced with every color and faith but all sharing the same needs...donning the same scars...
Facing questions without answers
Don't you dare have the audacity to be afraid to say, "Cancer"
I say these words for some of my dearest friends,
The Living and the MANY deceased-
For THEY
have shaaared in my unique. griefs!
THEY have encountered these micro. organic. thieves.
That steal our TIME!
Precious, formative, years of our lives.
That we can never get back!
Babies don't have to worry about that.
Our grandparents and elders don't either, these are just the facts, people.
We have fragments of our fragile lives that surgeries can't suture
Time that should be spent in school.
Or pursuing our dreams.
But instead forcing us to think 15 years into our future
Wondering how we'll tell our husband's and wives that we can't have children
that we can biologically call "mine"
It's a time where we haven't even
thought about those things.
just getting to know who we are as individuals, beings.
And finally coming to grips with being in our own skin!
Kids?!
Are you kiddin'?!
Pun intended.
But seriously, there's nothing "punny" about feeling as though your life has ended.

Like a semi truck hit you at full speed and your entire world is left scattered across life's highway.
You're trying to pick up the shards of you left scattered acrros the pavement
As your friends drive by with degrees and families And you're still going through Chemo treatment.
And or -radiation
And or- a bone marrow transplant
or -reconstructive surgery because your ******* were removed.
About a handful of med students were among the first to see my *****.
So don't be afraid to say cancer.
And don't even let me begin on the financial grievances that will follow us, my friend.
Because we're the least likely to have insurance for this thing going in.
And when your universe is in a tailspin and its chemotherapy or die you aren't thinking about the quadruple digits that will soon be applied.
Because unfortunately, you later realize American medicine and pharmacies just as all other industries, thrives off demand and supply.
cancer diagnosis is like being tossed in the land of oz but the yellow brick road is paved with bills.
I prayed to God over my heart like tin man
So I could still show compassion for a friend
Like lion I sought courage because day by day cancer made me feel so small, defenseless and helpless
The depression I faced regularly wreaked havoc on my mind
And if  scarecrow only knew about Chemo brain!;
--his memory's probably better than mine.

But like Dorothy,
all I wanted was  HOME.
More accurately all I wanted was what I once knew as normal.
Before I lost all my hair.
Before the steroids changed my face.
Before a couple weeks in the hospital destroyed 15 years of barre work and master classes
I wanted so desperately for the old me back.
But I later learned that that girl was just a memory
I'm a different person now
And during this experience I've grown from girl to woman
And have adopted this new normal
That embraces EVERY moment
That experiences time outside of the conditions conditioned by this world
And the parameters of the classic, outdated, Irrational American Dream.
And what seems to be this incessant, false, idealistic, actualization of what it means
I mean
They ask you what you want to be
Before you can even read!
So we're so bent on the future that when our plans are sent off track we beat ourselves until will bleed

Having watered, nurtured, and cultivated.the white picket  seed
And forgetting
There's no template set in place to affirm whether you have achieved.

So don't be afraid to say cancer
Cause it reminds me of what I've learned
I've witnessed miracles first-hand that a scalpel could never know
I love!
And I love hard
And from a place of deep, sincere, empathy
For my fellow man no matter how great or small his burdens be
After what I've gone through my faith outweighs my fear
In fact, I'm fearless!
I'm indestructible
I'm a pro at sweat and tears!
And It didn't take cancer to make me realize these things
I certainly would have been perfectly fine. without it
This wasn't given to me as a punishment.
But allowed to happen as a testament
And now I stand here before you
With a raggedy lung
And A quarter of my intestines

For Dawn, for Jordan, for Lili, Bill, for Merideth, for Carly, for Taylor, Delaney, for Meghan...
For Katy, for Beth, for Eugenio
And for Jen...
I stand here today for the 72000 Adolescents and young adults diagnosed with cancer year on end.

To give a voice to those of us that are too scarred to speak
A voice to those of us that are no longer here to speak.
and a voice to those of us that are  so happy that they can finally start to see a life after cancer that they don't ever want to speak of it again.

I'm here for all the silent warriors
All those that have *****-stained chain mail, cancer cells dripping from the tips of their swords.
With chemo pumping though their veins and radiation burning through their breast plates--whose shields don ribbons and middle fingers, and crosses and curse words!
and I'm begging YOU,
OOOH you lucky few that have not the pleasure to take on this heavy, honorable, garb.
That when you're raising money.
When you're saying your prayers.
When you're deciding how you're going to make some sort of difference in this insane and tragic world.
Don't be afraid to say cancer.
Don't forget about us.
Sharde' Fultz Jan 2016
Just feel like the way you're approaching me right now
doesn't reflect the way I'm trying to be perceived
you know?
telling me how **** I am
doesn't make me feel like you see the God in me
or like that's something you wish to see.
Now I don't think there's a problem with being ****
I embrace my femininity wholeheartedly
and **** is just a pretty cool aspect
that I reckon shines a light on what you think are my assets
but please...

See, it's hard for me to take that as a compliment.

Why don't you lead me to believe there's more to YOU than what meets the eye?

and although I know that you're just reflecting the view that has just met your eye oblige me by taking a moment to think before you speak.

Even still
nonetheless
I have a solid idea as to why...
Cause you see these girls on instagram and facebookin their thighs
and *******
and booties
for 300 likes

"**** girl you ****"
"he he thanks, boo! "
don't let that crap lead you to believe I like it too

I feel sorry for that girl
the one who has to use her body to feel accepted in this world
the girl who needs some real love but outside acts sadiddy
not until she sees those likes to finally feel pretty
exposing her surfaces 'cause her insides are...

I digress, when you approach me that way it's not cool
just as you judge me by the things I say, I judge you.
and I feel you,
you probably aren't even looking for all that
you don't care about my God or my mind or my passions
but the least you can do, stranger, is respect my personhood
and get to know me just enough to gauge what might've been my reaction
cause that, "hey ****" is not how I want to be addressed.
there's so much more to this body than what's under my dress
So, blatantly, I'm unimpressed by your ability to state the obvious

I'm tired of dudes looking at me like I'm crazy when I politely say, "I'd rather not be called that."
Like I just dissed a blessin'
Like the woman that always complains that, "men ain't nothin'.''
"I was just trying to pay you a compliment."
Huh? Oh yeah, THAT'S really something.

if you have any interest in me is that the best you can do?
So, yeah, I know right off the bat I'm not the one for you.
It's not my fault your perception has been skewed
that you still haven't been schooled
that this message is just now getting to you
you're part of that world that's still chasing the cool
using the tools that were forged for some girl whose cup isn't full

And again there's nothing wrong with being told that I'm ****
but I'd rather hear it from a man that already gets me
and knows that not just my high heels and my dress me
but the heart in my chest me
and the sound of my voice
my word choice, my corny jokes,
my thirst for spiritual growth, my softened heart toward the weak,
my intellect, my integrity--that's what makes me-me.
that's what makes me
****.
They're one in the same,
And you can't possibly know all that before you know my first name.
This was one of those rant/empty my head type of quick poems I guess. I often get approached that way and I've never liked. People flipped out about my reaction so much that I started to think I was the one with a problem, so I wrote this because I stand firmly in my feelings towards being approached that way and I feel like this is my only chance to spread the word and explain it more thoroughly.
Jan 2016 · 807
Reluctantly
Sharde' Fultz Jan 2016
within this 26 years of living
within this life
a lot has transpired

within the past 5 years
within this vessel
within this structure of flesh and bone and muscle

a lot has transpired

the end result; a new being
is confounded
a cacophony.
of how my experiences have molded me.

reluctantly.

A lot has transpired.
Dec 2014 · 461
Hidden
Sharde' Fultz Dec 2014
You hold your deepest darkest secrets
You tuck them deep within
They hold your insecurities
They hold your guilts
Your sins
You tuck away the little things
Although they're small and trite
Because they are embarrassing
And others may not like
You hide away those thoughts you have that question your ideals
You drop them in that secret hole
To forget the way it feels
Those fragments of your fragile mind
Unorthodox and curious
You joke about it with your friends
When underneath you're serious
The road of introspection winds
with "stop" and "yield" and "caution" signs
To trust is to be vulnerable
To unveil the inconspicuous

What does one do when so compelled?
When that dark hole succumbs and swells?
When it begins to manifest itself
In snide remarks
In violent yells?
And what of the peculiar sort?
That only you yourself may hurt
If driven from that deep down hole
Might shake your world

Your very soul?

No wherewithal
How would you fare?
You can see the judgement
You feel the stares
Your mouth is dry as you're standing there
Undressed but fully clothed?
its possible that we share this fear
An outpouring of whats been repressed for years
To fall on uncompassionate ears?

My whole world would unfold.

some of these thoughts  
Some of these feelings
Sneak up on us without revealing
An answer or a premonition
And we need those
...Because we're human...
So its scary to come face to face
With that which feels so out of place
And try to figure out all on our own
If this feels right, if this feels wrong
But I digress to finally say
Hopefully you're able to one day
Dislodge some secrets from that pit
Before it swells

Just empty it

You have to find a caring ear
That's empathetic to what they'll hear
That can handle the grey, the fog and confusion
And help clear the waves of disillusion
To get some things from off your chest
And give your mind some well due rest
It's such a relief
Such comfort
a wealth
To for a moment
be fully
your unadulterated
Self.
I think we all have secrets/words/thoughts we'd love to get out but feel that we could never let them escape our lips.
Finished 4:32am sat.dec13.14 started abt 2hrs prior =P
Oct 2014 · 499
Bereavement
Sharde' Fultz Oct 2014
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop crying

If I'll ever get over the years of training
the sweat
the bruises
the strains and sprains
the cool of a sprung floor against my cheek
out of breath in the wings awaiting my queue

I wonder if it's actually possible to regain the flexibility that can only come from hundreds of hours of plies and port de bras
I wonder if I'll ever be able to feel as alive as I do in a leotard and footless tights in any other article of clothing?
Because sometimes I feel like one of my favorite parts of me is a
memory

fading more and more every year

like a spirit trapped inside a body that can't handle all its grace and beauty and freedom
that can't hold its pirouettes

I fear that I'll never walk into a studio and feel like I own it again,
like the sky is the limit
like my strength knows no bounds

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to just accept whatever is in store.
Was my last audition my last audition?
I wish I savored it more

I know I'll be fine
but that is the only me I've ever known
and
the largest dream I ever felt I could absolutely realize
How do you let go of something you've wanted your entire life?
...a drive that flows through your blood...
How do you accept the possibility of never attaining it?

There are times when I'm okay
or more or less distracted
and feel like I'm at peace with God's omnipotent will
If he want's me to dance, then I'll dance one day
He knows the desires of my heart
Still
I can't help seeing reminders of where I want to be
where I ought to be
this fundamental piece that's missing
that has helped shaped all that I am today

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop crying
in mourning
for the dancer in me.
Oct 2014 · 567
Could it be?
Sharde' Fultz Oct 2014
I wish we didn't get along so well
I wish you didn't understand me so well
I wish you didn't express your feelings so well
I wish I didn't like you

I think we could work if we weren't so messed up
I think I could try if I weren't so f'd up
I think it's a waste for me to even 'fess up
it's just not something that I would do

All these things that are holding me back from exploring,
all these fears that prevent me from trust.
the emotions I feel-- an unwanted outpouring
this is new
'seems I cannot adjust
Oct 2014 · 1.0k
A Clearing
Sharde' Fultz Oct 2014
I'm not out the woods yet
but at least I do see a clearing up ahead
sunshine gracefully dancing between the leaves that have shadowed me.
days. weeks. months. years.
What is "time" anyway.
But alas, the sun's rays whispers this one little secret
I spy this, this bit of solitude in the distance
the thick tall trees and brush is thinning
the ground more even
I'm not sure if it leads to the end of this wood, or if it will only offer a brief respite from my tortuous journey
But I'll take it.
I'll sleep there and I'll catch my breath
And I'll thank God for the peace
I'll lay on the solid ground
and hug the space around me
I'll inhale deeply and digest this rare moment
then back onto my journey
and if it proves to be the end I'll take it
and if I find myself back in the wood, I'll look forward to another clearing.
Sep 2014 · 5.4k
Don't Bother
Sharde' Fultz Sep 2014
One day you'll be sitting there
Thinking about me.
And I'll be somewhere,
Doing the exact same thing,
Thinking about me.
Sep 2014 · 346
Shut (cont'd1)
Sharde' Fultz Sep 2014
I knew it wasn't going anywhere, but I enjoyed basking in the the thought of you
Two different points of view

But in derision I let you see my blues
And reds
And greens
And blacks

I shared my entire box of acrylics
because you always interpreted my work so well
With you I felt
relaxed.
And free to be all my different hues

I should have known better than to let another medium ruin my piece.
My peace.
Disturbed
Excited and shaken!
But we were never a "we" or were gonna ever be
You never e-
'rected
a piece in my name
Through my pleas...
please.
Instead
that work was hers
And I a welcomed muse
You found your
inspiration
Through me
lock up all my colors.
And toss away the keys...
Maybe we both were being used.
(This is sort of emotional brain ***** that I will keep working on in extended versions that will hopefully grow into something beautiful that reflects my major trust issues.) Enjoy.
Sep 2014 · 626
Shut (10w)
Sharde' Fultz Sep 2014
Some people only open the door
to slam it harder.
Aug 2014 · 580
Collision
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I didn't see it coming
but I felt it in every ounce of my being
an impact so heavy that fragments of my fragile self was scattered throughout the street

dizzily I tried to piece myself together
resulting in such a mess

inanimate reflection of distress

so I tore myself a part again and figured I'd lay there in the world
on the pavement
pieces of me in cement
floating away like rainwater, caught in the flood of duress

susceptible to the elements

but I couldn't stay scattered about
being walked upon and forgotten
sweet apathy I didn't care
but care came back all a'sudden
so I tried to sweep me back together this time
more patient
more diligent

armed with scissors and tape and glue
some pieces gone forever to the deep
some pieces too withered to renew
but there I stood

all askew
no more the one I thought I knew
But the one I chose to keep
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I wanted to fall asleep immediately
So I could hold on to the sound of your voice
Float on its timbre
And let your english envelop me like a foreign language

This aberrant dialect.

Every letter wrapping me in its cursive like a warm blanket as I try to commit these strange sounds to memory, because a sentence has NEVER made my face soo flush
OR made me feel the way my soul feels barefoot center stage.

That last breath before blackout.
The feeling in my chest as the curtains rise...

Honest
Childish
Your word choice

I wanted to fall asleep immediately when we got off the phone so I wouldnt miss that flight to you in my dreams!
Where the night doesn't end...

I hadn't taken off my earrings
Or my necklace or my glasses
I hadn't tied my hair
Or brushed my teeth

I didnt say my prayers!! I, I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could pretend that you were
THERE.
Ya know?

Holding me at heart-beat's length
Telling me to keep talking cause
my voice is so mellifluous.
my silly rambling is a lullaby.

Sweet, melodic
Pleasant, soothing
Too much of a good thing

I wanted to fall asleep immediately so I could land on our conversing and allow the reverberating echo of my collision to torment every
Stage.
Of.
REM.
A reflection of him
And me. And time. Delayed gratification.
The ever-waaaaning night!
Tomorrow
but a slow
creep...
sigh
I wanted to fall asleep immediately
'Lest this moment
forgo my keep.

3.18am 7.25.14
Aug 2014 · 540
Frozen Leaves
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
The haunting “hoom!” of the wind flying past my window
A wingless friend that flies above as we shuffle cold sidewalks below
The old knees of stiff trees desist against this chilled yoga forced upon them
Carries the scent of cool December I’ve come to know
And love because I can’t help but to reminisce
On all the memories of childhood bliss
The snowball fights; winter breaks, best friends, holidays but sometimes most of all the naïve ignorance.
Because now we just know so friggin’ much, am I right?
We’re consumed by the responsibilities of maturity and pride.
We must accomplish things as small as sharing a smile with a stranger and as large as the quest for self-actualization
When it’s cold like this and I’m sitting under my lamp bundled thoughts
-swerving
Letting the dim glow of the bulb wash over my arms and dissipate to the shadows and corners of my room
Muzak for my thoughts in the wind’s sporadic “hoommm!”
I find it in the least bit
unnerving
I exhale and release
-delayed-gratification
We’ve just learned the infinite diminutive time span of Christmas vacation
But for a second I’m little clumsy Sharde’ again
Making snowballs ‘till my fingertips are
burning                                                                                       1:07am 12.13.2010
Aug 2014 · 4.8k
With/Out It
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
it comes and goes they say. Bringing life to awkard ways. Stimulating awkard minds on lonely days. wastes away in intrinsic minds,repressed.
hapless beautiful thoughts used as insipid grumblings in a harvest without seed.
It is a must.a need.a gift
times' vacation, times' digress.
Aug 2014 · 727
Running
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I keep running, running, running
A young girl trying to find her place in the world
A grown woman trying to be respected for who she really is
I look back at the past and
Down on the present
And hope to God that the future gives me something to look up to
Family curses trink’ling trails of hate in my blood
Reminders of loved ones who were hurt by ones they loved once
Inspirations inspiring me to keep chasing my dreams but reality is …reality
I wake up and wonder what proactive thing I can do today
But reality is reality.
And reality smacks me down and says “nothing”
I’m not a pessimist but I bear a weight with the wield of the world as its stamp
Its not on my back but its on my sisters’ back. It not in my home but its in my brothers’ home
Reverberating in my mind the terrible wonders of the world
Feeling ignorant, not knowing how to help
I read the world news to find out what to do
And lo’and behold a “disabled puppy can only walk in circles”
WHAT?!
Darfur must be a myth and I guess AIDS isn’t “in” anymore
I keep thinking..wait till I’m established
Wait till I’m out of this rut
My life will be holy and pure and intelligent. giving and tithing and..happy and busy…and.. **** and rich?
Cause that’s how it should be right?
Confusing
Why cant I be a soul sistah with locs that likes to listen to rock and give spoken word wearing knit hats and demanding answers? Then go home and maybe watch some anime.
I’m conflicted
I’m disdainful
I’m selfish
I’m vehemently out to get what I want because my forefathers died trying to get it for me
And you know what? I’m gonna get it, because while all this crap goes on in my brain and in my heart , in my family and in the world. Its going to stay at my heels because I keep running, running, running
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I back track my steps until once again i feel cold pavement on my heels and the dewy grass has retreated to once again stretching to receive the sun. I bump into the same glass door, the *** still warm as though i had just let go if it, it jabs me in my side forcing me to acknowledge my collision as I face the transparent barrier to what I once thought was home. Its so smoky in there that I can hardly recognize the countenances of my old friends; greed, lust, hate, ******, drugs, envy. I shake my head squinting to read their name tags but the air is too thick for oil stone to sharpen and they're so busy till I realize they don't see me right there. staring. I want to say hi, tell em' the world is cool they shoulda' wisened up like me. All I did was tell a lil white lie but if you're like me, and you wisen' up, you too my dear friend may smell the crisp scent of the greener side. And boom there I was back with my crew. Formerly known as lies, my tag clearly now says pride.
Aug 2014 · 418
LOblueVE
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
Here's a poem that I wrote the other night at late o'clock while working my usual midnight shift. Personally I think this is one of my best pieces because I usually don't write stuff like this, I call it "sappy" haha but thats just because I'm such a boy sometimes. Anyway, I like this because I'm a little less inhibited in this piece and you guys get to catch me being girlie. Hope ya like it.

I WANT LOVE. I want late o'clock conversing that leads into morning. I want your aspirations to become ours. I want to lay in the security of strong arms and broad shoulders.
I want good days and bad days and great days and drama and I want love.Love thats deep and blue with strings and knots and ropes and braids and faith and trust, you know?
I want my own key for cloud nine.
I want love recursive because it's too close to perfect not to do it again.skin meeting skin.
hands meeting hips
Lips meeting lips feet in the air and locs in the wind.
Love that embraces what I embrace and you embrace and the differences between them.
I want to study the map in the palm of your hands and follow it and create new destinations. I want the painting we'll create when our complexions are twisted together, then another and another.
I want altruism, recklessness, spontaneity, pure concentrated freshly squeezed love with extra pulp.
And I think 'pulp' is an ugly word but I want love so good that I just might wake up one morning and write a song for pulp because all o'sudden everything's beautiful.
I WANT prayed-up non-perverted divine order love.
Love that ascends and evolves; that challenges scientists, intrigues mathematicians, and inspires artists. I want love, and as far as I'm concerned that is the only way it comes.
Sharde' Fultz 3:56 am Aug.31 @wk
Aug 2014 · 333
Everything in Time
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I've been thinking about my goals and how I will acheive them and I keep running into this good for nothing bleep called PATIENCE. So heres a lil something

I want everything-everything
I want the world because I can
I want power because I can
And I want everything because I can.
I am tired of hoping and wishing and promising
because I CAN- be tired of it
I want now, and I want
everything
I want time, I want love, I want happiness
I want knowledge
and yes I want everything
and yes I will get everything I want as long as I realize I should want
PATIENCE.
Aug 2014 · 510
Just Friends
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I’m so busy not sleeping right now that I’ve thought myself into a restless stupor. My winter aestivation was cut short by your prying and kneading
And needing to be within my thoughts
Kind words and smooth talk
“I can’t just be friends; I don’t know how I could do that.”
I didn’t choose to welcome 3:45 in the morning; I believe this is what you sought.
Love unrequited is a wound I’d never want and never could I have imagined being caught Red-handed, blood stained with your heart, eyes flushed and cruel and wicked and heartless from a day of turning you down.
I’m not that kind of person I can’t stand it.
But you want me to. But you want me.
You want to be able to hold me and claim me and protect me and I don’t know what to do
I keep thinking of different ways to tell you, but every way I twist it
It still burns you the same. I pour salt into a wound I made…
Waning you on fewer texts throughout the day
It would be so much easier if you were short, or not so amazing and handsome and smart and if you couldn’t make me smile. Unfortunately you’re all this and more and you came out of nowhere and that is why I can’t just jump into an “us”.
In the end you’re still awesome and you’re still beautiful, and you’re still getting hurt and I’m still calling you ‘cause you’re so good to me and I love it
But you want more--here you are fighting for my heart and every day trying to wrap my hands around yours
This is a part of me that no one has been able to open and you stand there with reformed tools .
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to tell you that I have not already said.
“Friends” is not a title you can live with and that’s a crying shame because if we can’t start that way I’m not sure how we can start.
I don’t want to lose whatever we have but I’m not ready for a relationship either…I’m still lost because somehow my plan didn’t work
I thought “Just friends “would be simpler. But in the end you’re still getting hurt.
Aug 2014 · 293
Last Night
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I cried so hard last night
I cried soo hard
I try to stay positive but it was something I had to do
there is cancer in my body
located in my chest
Last night I cried so hard, as though I was just realizing this
but no, it's nothing new
not too new
my mom was there to comfort me
she was there with words of encouragement
what I have is something curable
but my tears were still well spent
I believe in God for my healing but pinned up confusion overwhelmed me
I had to vent
I had to vent
ventilation for my questions
are you serious? Who just gets cancer honestly?
I did
But I'm okay now, because last night I smiled soo hard too
I smiled soo hard
I smiled because cancer cannot make my friends abandon me
and it cannot **** my spirit
Cancer cannot do the things my God CAN do.
It cannot heal me yet every day I am feeling better.
The cancer in my chest is totally unable to beat the strong faithful dancer in my blood
and I smiled for all these things because no matter how many times I get down
they can't beat how often I am up because I am blessed and my blessings outweigh the stormy flood.
I cried soo hard last night man, I cried soo hard
But I smiled too.
Aug 2014 · 803
In Case You Don't Know
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
You are truly magnificent; you're great, you are marvelous, you're expansively strong, you are out of this world!
Be courageous, be humble, give back and build up, be dynamic, a student, and teacher, be BOLD!
I'm telling you this 'cause you don't hear it enough and I know you're unique and can impact the globe.
You have dreams and high hopes. Though negativity surrounds you,who you want to be fervently burns in your soul.

Hey beautiful and dedicated! Hey handsome and strong-willed! Don't let this life pass without honing your skills.
See success is not businessess, money or boats.
Established is not a doctorate, true wealth is not in notes.
Those "Yays" can't compare to the gleam in your eyes.
Those True Religion jeans are just fabric for thighs.
Those Jordans may be hot, all these things show you're paid but don't matter 'cause you're already beautifully made.

Do what you enjoy.
Fight for what you believe in.
Don't take "No" for an answer, please realize your dreams.
Reality is relative, no goal is impossible,
The prowess you subsume can create NEW extremes!

I love you and I believe in the positive change that you can be to the community and this world, but it's more important for you to believe in, respect, and love, YOURSELF.
Aug 2014 · 256
Finding Peace
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
I need a little poetry to ease my mind I find
Sometimes its like a sea of tidal waves
I cave, I gave, my all, I prayed to crawl because
to fall
was out of the equation
I'll take some knee abrasions to get to my vocation
these types of situations, they lead to complications
Cause I know
I've seen my lowest low but still I follow
The Lord He calms my tears and heals my heart and steals my sorrows
We do not know His will and so we worry 'bout tomorrows
but its strength and faith and power in His Word He let us borrow
-No He gave it-
I don't debate my Savior so just save it
I wish the way I walk and all my actions were His favorites
but I doubt that
I do good but I know I can do better,
I'm just tryna keep this poem from an angry letter,
There's a reason why to God my heart is tethered
I'm on the path of righteousness but choking on the Angels' feathers
Aug 2014 · 360
Hurt
Sharde' Fultz Aug 2014
There's an emptiness I feel that I have surely tried to hide and fill
with things that "normal" people do to quench my appetite
but it cannot at times it rears its awful empty gaping head and
stirs my blood and brings me down
a heaving chest
a heart of lead
an aching head and itchy eyes a tear soaked pillow on my bed
and plum bruised thighs that bear the weight of hands that cup a sobbing chin
and hides the face that hates to cry
that's forced to stifle all her pride
and take involuntary  blows
the uncontrolled
the deep within
muffled screams and yells of anger all the confusion that I keep
forsook the world and gained a soul
but is that all to reap?

— The End —