when the moon comes out,
and my mind begins to doubt,
the total worth of my existence,
will you still love me?
when the stars shine bright,
and my smile disappears like the light,
will you still love me?
when the insects are chirping and singing,
and my mind is aching and overthinking,
will you still love me?
when my eyes create rivers,
instead of stars,
will you still love me?
when im drowning in a sea,
of pain and darkness,
will you still love me?
please tell me darling,
i need to know,
so i can be sure you will,
never go,
when i need you the most.

sometimes,
we have to isolate ourselves,
from the world,
to truly defeat,
the demons under our feet,
the nightmares,
that won't let us sleep,
and the negative things,
that make us weep,
in order,
to keep
our minds awake,
so our terrible thoughts,
will stop causing our eyes,
to create lakes,
and so,
our lips will pause it's mistakes,
and so,
we can remind ourselves that we'll be okay.

i slowly began to open myself up again,
so i can see the galaxies flow from within,
so i can see the stars fall apart,
just like my heart did,
the only bad thing about this is,
i'm going back to where i started.

darling,
don't fall in love with me
to fast,
for i have such,
a broken past,
filled with,
relationships that
didn't last,
failing class
after class,
and watching my heart being
shattered just like glass,
so,
let's take things slow,
and let what we have,
continue to slowly grow.

you were a ****,
and i was a flower,
you held greed,
and i held power,
but one day,
the sun came out,
and with no doubt,
you recieved all the light,
and i had to fight,
to get was rightfully mine,
you kept growing taller,
as i kept getting smaller,
i loss my beauty,
my petals,
you were tearing me apart,
you were weakening my heart,
i'm tired of this,
now is the time,
that i start,
to take back what was mine,
it's going to be a long process,
but i'll just progress,
further than i have before.
for you are the ****,
that holds greed,
and i am the flower,
who holds power.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO DIE,
I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY,
BUT MORE SO,
MENTALLY
AND
EMOTIONALLY.
I WANT MY FEELINGS
TO DIE
SO
I MAY NO
LONGER CRY
I'M TIRED OF MY THOUGHTS
SUFFOCATING ME
AND MAKING IT
HARD FOR ME
TO BREATHE
DON'T YOU SEE?
THESE THINGS
ARE RUINING ME?
JUST DIE,
PLEASE,
SO
I
CAN
BE
FREE
AND
LEARN
TO
SURVIVE
.

poor art boy,
his mind was a gallery,
full of art,
until the factory
of society,
came along polluting it,
with reality,
and tearing it apart.
poor art boy,
poor
art
boy
.

sticks and stones, may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me,
words will never hurt me
words
   will
           never
                hurt
                    me.
and oh my,
what an awful lie
that was.
do you know why?
well because,
words are the most powerful thing,
we use them to sing,
or to porpose to a lover with a ring,
but
but,
we can also use these so called words to ruin a human being,
whether it be,
emotionally,
physically,
and
mentally,
i know most don't mean to intentionally,
but you need to remember to watch what you say,
because those words can effect someone,
on today,
or later on in may,
instead,
let your words flow with,
wisdom and grace,
not with hurtful lies and myths,
instead,
let your lovely words,
bring a smile to someone's face,
and maybe they won't feel
like a disgusting disgrace,
sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words may hurt me.

sure my heart may be thumping,
and my lungs may be exhaling,
and my blood may be pumping,
but darling we both know,
im slowly dying,
*on the inside.

i don't think i've ever felt this way about someone before,
you always seem to sneak into my thoughts at around four,
you always seem to make my inner core, burst with fire
because of my lovely desire
for you,
and only you
even when i'm the bluest of blues,
you have no clue,
how happy you make me,
with a simple 'how are you?'
darling i can't help myself,
falling for you,
but please tell me one thing,
*am i in love with you, or the feeling?

these depressing thoughts are catching up to me,
and i feel as if though i can't breathe,
i'm tired of this war going on beneath,
my flesh, and inside my soul,
which is now the colour of coal,
i'm no longer whole.
pieces of me are attached to the people or things that have broken me,
you see,
i can't look at myself in the mirror and say,
"You can get through this kid, like you did yesterday."
Anymore,
for i just see a girl who's ready to give up,
but the funny thing is,
is that she doesn't give up,
she keeps breathing,
she keeps thinking,
she keeps listening to her heart beating,
because she knows,
that deep inside,
**a part of her is still alive.

your grades do not define you
your grades do not define
your grades do not
*your grades do.

her words are slurred
and her vision's nothing but a blur
she begans to think
maybe it was an after effect of a couple of drinks,
but no this was different,
her drunken thoughts were interrupted when an unknown man links
arms with her,
he slowly began to lures,
her closer and closer
towards him,
her mind started to swim,
with ***** thoughts,
she tried to scream,
but her voice was caught
in fears,
and streams of tears,
he whispers in her ear,
telling her don't worry dear,
i'm not going to hurt you,
i promise you, you hear?
she nodded
in surrender,
as he plotted
ways to ruin her,
and into the dark,
they dissappeared together,
and in the night, a thief was born,
as a innocent girl was
physically,
emitionally,
and mentally,
torn.

and within her was a beast that could never be tamed,

and then came along a boy
who was named,

beauty.

so i've always been afraid of the dark,

it's so powerful and

can leave a terrible mark,

on the human mind,

the dark always seems to find,

ways to ruin us mentally and emotionally,

it always seems to find,

ways to tear us apart from the inside out,

it even makes us doubt,

our existence.

the dark can tell us a simple evil sentence,

and the happiness once inside us,

dissapears,

but our negativity and fears seem to reappear.

and sometimes,

when i'm in the mist of the darkness;

i wonder how stars do it.

how do they outshine the darkness?

night after night,

day after day,

week after week,

year after year,

oh dear stars,

how do you do it?

how are you able to sit up there,

and shine as bright as you can

because you don't give a care?

like man,

the dark must hate you guys

for shining so bright in the night,

is that why it comes down to earth?

because there was nothing else to

ruin and hurt?

you know i admire you stars,

for finding a way to outshine the dark,

and heal your own scars.

maybe i can do the same,

maybe i can outshine the dark

just like you did,

and i'll get rid of this sadness and madness,

but until then,

kudos to you stars,

for finding a way to outshine the darkness,

kudos to you.

it wasn't really school bullies, that have torn me apart,
or a past lover who broke my heart,
but more so, my own blood
who has caused this everflowing flood,
of pain, sadness, and madness in my mind
they think that because i'm still breathing, i'm doing just fine
when really,
im going to explode like a land mine
*eventually.

AND OH HOW I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE TRULY IN LOVE,
BUT THEN LIFE COME ALONG,
RUDLY GIVING ME A SHOVE,
I THEN REALIZED
THAT I WAS WRONG,
I GUESS IT WAS JUST THE STARS IN YOUR EYES,
THAT HAD ME HYPNOTIZED
FOR
SO
LONG,
AND OH HOW I THOUGHT WE WERE TRULY IN LOVE.

since when did being sad,
become beautiful?*
since when did tears,
become beautiful?
since when did cuts,
become beautiful?
since when did mental illnesses
become beautiful?
Since when did depression
become beautiful?
when did all of this become, beautiful?
no.
i want you to think that when i smile, and when i am happy is beautiful.
i want you to think that when i laugh, it is beautiful.
i want you to think that when my hair dances with the wind that it is beautiful.
I want you to think that when my eyes reflect the moon, that that is beautiful.
Sadness, pain, and everything does not define my beauty.
It should be my happiness that does, *shouldn't it?

sometimes i have to breathe in,
and breathe out,
so i can remind myself not
to doubt
my existence
so i can remind myself of
the distance
between my room and my
mother's
so i can remind myself to not give her another
gray hair
so i can remind myself that
someone out there
probably does care
so that i can remind myself that
i matter,
though my heart
may shatter
and the art
within me probably
won't matter
sometimes i have to breathe in,
and breathe out,
so i can remind myself that i am alive
and that i can survive.

you're lovely

*he said
and suddenly
her cold heart
was dead
and the art
within her
begin to bloom
like an april flower.

he was a masterpiece,
you can even say
that he was much more vaulable than a timepiece,
and everyday
he would always seem
to make my heartbeat increase.*

for he was such a lovely masterpiece.

citizens are dying
mommas are crying
countries are sighing
goverments are trying
to do all they can
but they don't realize that they have to unite man to man,
so maybe all of these attacks will stop, including in pakistan,
blood is drying,
bombs are flying,
watching this on the news is horrifying,
deaths are multiplying,
this is terrifying,
my heart goes out to the lives that were lost, to the families that died, to the mothers on their knees crying, to the citizens on hospital beds slowly dying.
you did not deserve this.

so, i sit and wonder,
and also ponder,
if he actually loves me,
or only what's inside of me,

i go and ask him,
what made you fall in love with me?
i watched his cheerful eyes go dim,
he sighs, and then replies, "well you see,
i fell in love with the heart in you!"

i smile,
even though my soul turns blue,
i'm a bit confused,
doesn't he see the galaxies in me, and the art in my heart?
but oh well, what's new
I hear him softly grumble 'whew'
as if he just got out of a life threatning situation,
i began to get anxious, and focus back on my soothing mediation.

please just kiss me until my lips go numb,
trace my skin until my heart starts beating in rhythm like a drum, whisper things in my ear that'll make me go dumb,
darling I would say more, but I should probably stop and now I'm done.**

yours and only yours,
[ h e r]

please don't go,

i need you like an april flower needs carbon dioxide and other things to grow,

i need you like a tongue needs h2O in order to speak, and for the words and songs to flow,

i need you like an artist needs colours to paint his or her emotions,

i need you like, a busy man, who works everyday and needs his promotions,

i need you like a soulful poet needs metaphors, to express their lovely words,

oh i need you like the moon needs the sun, in order to shine so beautifully in the night,

don't you see that i love you?
i know we had a really big fight,
but darling i don't care i need you alright?

you're my stars in the night,
you're my everything, you're such a delight.*


i need you too.

you were the stars in my eyes,

the blue to my skies,

the truth in my lies,

the art i couldn't keep inside,

[ b o o m]

then you became the evil in my eyes,

the thunder in my skies,

the secrets in my lies,

and the cold heart i kept inside,

[ b r e a t h e ]

why?

im sorry but i couldn't help but
notice the art flowing from your heart, the stars in your eyes, and the galaxies in your mind, wouldn't it be so kind of you to let me take a peak? because darling this curiosity is killing me.

*-yours truly.

oh darling you drive me wild,
you make me scream for your attention like a little child,
i remember when you first spoke to me and i smiled
so big, oh so big
darling don't you see how much you drive me wild?

i was like the mud on your shoe,
that you couldn't wait to get rid of,
i thought i was like the blue
to your clouds, to your skies
but i should have
know by the look in your eyes.

hey love,
you're a hero you know,
always staying strong and low,
always caring for everyone, even those
girls who secretly talk about you under your nose,
always listening to complaints,
always being as sweet as church saints,
always being kind,
always listening to what's on someone's mind,
yet no one gives a **** about what's on yours,
people always claim that they care,
but when you need them the most,
it's funny how they dissappear like air.

i know you feel alone,
but don't worry,
i have an extra shoulder to loan,
i know you feel useless
but trust me,
you're not,
i see you,
now it's my cue
to be there for you.

and when you lay your head down,
and allow all of the dark thoughts to make you wish you were dead, as a slow frown appears upon your lips,

just close your eyes,
and simply think of me,
let me outshine all of that darkness,
just like the stars do in the midnight skies.

maybe it was too much for us to handle,
maybe that's why our fiery passion blew out like a candle,
maybe we were just too focused on the stars in each other's eyes,
that we could barely see the lies held inside,
besides we were too young to realize what love was,
i'm not saying it was bad because,
i enjoyed flying through the skies above with you,
it's kind of sad to know that we are through.

but hey, thank you so much.
for letting me expierience this lovely andventure with you and such.

i hope you find the stars in someone's eyes, and enjoy flying through the skies with someone, and having loads of fun.

but our adventure is over, and it's time for the both of us to start a new one.

his mind was filled with thunderclouds,
that were holding in sadness and pain,
so he screamed out loud,
and let his words pour out like rain.

lonely nights,
verbal fights,
no more flying kites,
blind to imaginary knights,
losing sight of light,
this doesnt seem right,
life is no longer a delight,

we were all just lost kids,
who had lids,
placed over our hearts by society,
we're constantly drowning in anxiety,
helplessly swimming around in the darkness trying to find sobriety.

shh// don't speak,

trust me

your voice leaks

with inspiration, courage, trust, hope, and ugh

it reaks,

no one wants to hear all of that.
shh// don't speak,

or else you will get slapped upon the cheek,

by society for your words mean nothing darling,

they'll kick you out of their petty clique,

and we wouldn't want that now would we?
so shh// don't speak

sure you have a lovely physique,

but you're not fooling anyone,

we all know on the inside you're weak,

and if we took a peek into your dark little mind,

everyone would call you a freak.
so shh// little girl don't speak,
don't even shriek-
or squeak out a word,
because what comes out if that mouth is absurd.

**so shh//
little girl, don't speak.

no matter how many times i scream for you to hear my words made of silk, or pour out my thoughts to you like milk, you just sit there and turn my words into useless cream, even if my words flowed to you like water, like a river, you would turn them into steam; and watch me shiver.

to a lovely boy;
i want to tell you that you're lovely.
that you're beautiful.
oh so beautiful.
i want to tell you that you're eyes send me to a whole other world. that you're sweaters look adorable on you.
i want to tell you that you're hair is hot when it's wet, and that you're smile slowly kills me everytime. In a good way of course.
i want to tell you that you're perfect in my eyes.
i want to tell you that i like your face, and your lips, and your eyes, and your fingers, and your cheeks, and just you in general.
I want to tell you that, i like how you stay focused on your canvas when you draw, and you look only at your lines.
i want to tell you that i like- love it when you hug me. i feel safe. i want to tell you that im falling dangerously in love with you, but i'm scared.

breaking  a heart is like,

ripping an artists' lovely canvas in half, as you watch the artist cry you laugh.

breaking a heart is like,

smashing a guitarists' guitar, it leaves a musical scar on the guitarist, who no longer wishes to be a star.

breaking a heart is like,

bringing a small child into society, quickly ruining their views of society.

breaking a heart is like,

telling the sun we no longer need him, he says okay, and we regret it as we're slowly dying the next day.

but hey, breaking hearts is popular now.

i mean like wow,

but to be honest, the more

hearts are breaking

the more art is silently awaking.

it's kind of sad really,

dont get me wrong, its breathtaking

but dont you think its silly

**how art has to be awoken this way?

i remember someone saying, life was a game,
i forgot his or her name,
but i sure as heck know, that life and a game are definitley not the same.

you used to be my oxygen that kept me alive,
but now you're my poison, and i can barely survive.

her breathing begins to slow,
as the wind softly blows,
and her soul tiptoes away
from her flesh, she can now
dance and sway, she can finally
let go.

it's ironic how i say i'm so alone,
when really everyone ive known has
been stretching out there arms for me, and i constantly hear them say,
"Come on, take my hand!"
but i push them away,
because i feel as if though they wouldn't
understand.

who would want to be obsessed with magizines and lies, when you can be obsessed with the galaxies in your eyes?

you look at me across the room,
your stare is long and hard,
as if though you were dead,
kind of like our friendship.

i see the galaxies in your eyes,
i see the lies you hide inside,
i see the galaxies in your eyes,
i see that there's no room for a girl like me, to explore the worlds & stars, within your mind. oh how i wish i can be apart of your lovely heart.

*sadly i'm not, but as long as i can gaze at you from afar- its fine.

don't break,
don't cry,
just stay strong,
and you won't die,
i know you've been doing this for so long,
and you've hurt by all these lies,
but i promise you,
you will rise
from this,
little miss.

with love, future you.

stress has been pounding on me,
and i haven't
been eating much lately,
algebra has slowly been killing me
daily,
i'm wishing peter pan,
would grab my hand,
and just take me to ******* never land,
so i can bury my face,
in the smooth sand,
with my earphones in,
listening to my favourite band,

to be honest, im tired of being
around these lifeless humans,
who definitley don't care about my well being,
and im oh so tired
of seeing,
these grey, sad souls
who have turned terribly cold.
or maybe its just that this is all
getting kind of old,

and i'm just waiting for a new adventure to unfold.