You were not "Pain in the Axx!"
I was myself.....!
I was the person that not always seen!
I was myself....!
I was dancing with the Darkness of the Night!
Feeling the warmth of you when you are near me!
Feeling your hand squeezing hard, and I was smiling!
I was myself...!
Enjoying the company with excuses that makes you laugh loud!
"Seriously"..."Technically" I was Crazy, Little Mazen, Gentle!
I was thinking of those feelings around and inside me!
I felt the night and its corners...
I felt something in your eyes... I felt That Question!
"How on earth, you are not "Pain in Axx"?
                                             Simply.....
I'm not... I want only to live simple life with no complication!
This is me!

I have those voices inside me to hold on you!
Those Voice to keep faith of my feeling in what I can't see in front of me!
In keeping those kindles of passion ignited!

The Norms of Human... Life...Logic... are haunting my tired eyes with ill thoughts seducing me to close my eyes!... to turn my soul to places of silence, places of white papers without words....!

I'm becoming Part of Nothing!!!....Except... Part of the World of You!

Don't know what to keep away from you, since everything became about you!
Don't know how to isolate myself from your world!
Is it love! Maybe
Is it infatuation! Maybe
Is it a dream! Maybe
Is it a hope! Can be
Is it an ambition! Could be
And what I'm sure of.....that....
It is manifestation of all those things and much more!
It is something can't the brain summarize it with logic!
It is just a pure love!

Keep remembering her small eyes like a shiraz cat…
keep remembering her voice flowing inside me clearing doubts…
keep recalling that look, where tears were about to fall…
keep recalling how shy she was hiding her face from me…
recalling how she looked down trying to hold her tears back..
to hold her breath…
to recall her silence
to be in the past..
to  be…
who is she
and
who she
was

"We get crushes on others, not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our sufferings" How to Love
Book by Thich Nhat Hanh
I felt Naked!
I felt being with no hope left!
I felt I have to leave the world!
I flet I need help!
No air to breath...
No bed to lay on...
No sleep to catch...
All States are taken away and given to someone...
Graving to rest..
Graving to know...
Graving to live..
It is only one thing I look for...
                               It is only
                                Love
                           Is it much?

The whole universe has been shaken!
                                     Breathes became heavy..
                                     Soul fighting chest to run...
                                     Heart about to explode...
Trust, to what...to who.. to where!
I paid my dues and lot more than that and still paying as a philanthropist!

Connection: Ghosts were my best companions, where silence was our language...

Discovery: Paths were crossed with each others, declaring another lost in new path...

Give up was not in my dictionary, I was seen once and i'm seen again. But pain is the theme that prevails now...

Faith in the unknown is fading taking me to unease state, but I feel happy. As if Irony became a new friend to share with the ***** to let the world spins around you...

Declaring a war of uncertainty and to anything else you don't feel...
I will write my own praises...
I understand how bad things will come in the way, and I won't care...
I understand that I won't live an easy life, and I will take my part in that...
I will define my world in order to be remembered, by those who passed by me and those who are in heaven!
                                       I will be the person of my Own!
22-11-2015

When you are sharing your plate with yourself.....
When you are alone,  eating no spoon is shared with someone you care about!
When you are waiting for that smile, when you get that bite from her share!
When you loOK and you find the chair next to you..... empty!
Then you realise you miss something!
You ask..... what am missing!
                            A question with no answer on the horizon!

Her Smile…
Her Skin…
Her Hair..
Her Gazed eyes…
In Bottom Line, I missed her…
If I said “ I’ve tried to forget her”, that means she is in my breath..
If I said “ I failed to remove her from my memories, that means she is in my blood”…
“Do you feel this healthy for you and serving you?”
It is an Ouch question, it is showing “Love” has different way, in different world…
I feel my sins from the dark ages are visiting me!
My heart and soul struggling to have truce with mind and body!
Mind wants to give up the nonsense
Body wants to get rest…
Heart wants to live with her!
Soul wants to marry her soul!

In my darkest space she came!
In my usual corner she sit with that face!
In my deepest feelings she walked!
And I blamed myself... why I let myself open in front of her!
The sound of silence is broken!
Words are not shy!
Time forgot to look at his watch!
I watched her softness covered with toughness !
I watched how beautiful her eyes are!
I watched how her skin is delicate!
I kept watching in silence!
Questioning myself!

Am I dreaming!

That all happened... when... she came!!

Every part of me ran away!
Evey part of me buried himself in nowhere!
The theme of FEAR was there hiding behind, waiting to jump on me!
                                   And
                            She is in love!
                          But not with me!
Here DEATH sent me a gaze to shake hand with him!
The tree stopped waving to me!
The space became empty!
                          Waiting for that shaking
                                     I gazed!
And shaked the hand with the Handsome Vagabond!
The heart cried and the first time the tear kissed my face a goodbye telling me!
                          She is in love

For Ages I called myself Human...
With her I felt my Humanity...
For Years I thought I'm complete...
Because of Her She let me sense my Soul...

I Love her...Maybe...
I Care for her...Maybe...
I Protect her...Maby...

What I'm sure of...

Is that....

She is the Connection between the World and Me...
She is the Hope I hold within my Spirit...
She is the Light I walk in the darkest moments...
She is the Air I breathe when I ran out of any....
She the Faith I keep when I lose my battle...

I realized I love her with my stupid style...
I realized My Silent Love wants to cry with a Tiny Tear in Tired Eyes...

Keep shining My Love...
You are the Gift of God....
You are the Angel on my world...

Thank you for every touch healed the pain and soothed the tiredness...

Thanks for the laughters that you bursted out of the deepest chest...

You unlocked my truth...

Thank you my Angel...

Take it easy my Heart!
It is only a tiny pain!
You were with me all those years!
Don't give up on me now!
Our journey just started!
Don't be afraid!
I'm with you!
I can't promise that the journey will be predicted!
I can't promise that we will face same things we used to face before or known to us!
However....
You will see my face smiling at you gently!
I can't promis....
The road will be paved!
There will be light everywhere we go!
A place to rest!
A place to recover!
However.....
You will find me.....
Your road buddy!!
Listening to your words!
Listening to your whispers!
In every corner guarding you!

You are not alone!
You will find me in the melody played in the sphere!
You will find me your.......

                                 Shelter

Hopelessly... trying to distract myself from remembering her!
                   I failed....
I failed miserably.... not to keep her smile away from my imagination...
I failed fiercely.... not to forget the cute small mule on her right arm!
I failed gracefully.... not to feel happy that I saw her!

Everything in me is calling every minute I was with her!
I met her recently and the sweetness of her soul visiting every corner of my day!

I look desperately for a single word from her!  
In secret...I'll keep my prayers to soothe my longing for her!
If I said...
                          "I miss her"
what would her world call that? ....Simply...
She still There!

When you give...you will receive...
When you receive you will give more...
The generosity of Mother Earth, Center and Father Sky are limitless...
Wherever you move... you will be graced...
Whenever you ask...you will be answered..
There is a blossom in the flower that is given to you..
There is a grace in your spirit that lives in you...
There is a Creator's power bestowed since your birth...
There is the "ShinTaiDo" that reminds you how you are loved tremendously by the Universe!
Stay Connected...
Stay in the Center of Universe...

When the Silence became the only Resort!
When no Places else to be visited!
When words are small enough not be be seen!
Then...
What Space is left is a space not to breath!
Being Lost won't be defined!
Then...
You start questioning your Silence!

Words failed to present my story!
Stories couldn't define Who A I!
Expressions misled eyes!
Then Silence Appears to....
Bring light to words
Bring  meaning to chaos
Give  power to voice
Where silence becomes your Story!

I can't feel my heart!
He left my chest out of anger!
Telling me, why you allowed me to beat!
In the darkness I layed!
With silence I chatted!
I'm sorry to let you cried!
I'm sorry to let pain lived in you!
I hoped!
It was big for me and you were the escapegoat!
I can't breath!
My heart somewhere lamenting!

I might be a stranger for you!
I might be a freak for you!
My words are a fountain of mystery!
My feelings are untouched! and they are looking for harbour to rest!
The core burning the soul, and leaving me doomed in nowhere!
I might be angry!
I might be resenting!
I've dismissed everything in my life, but I didn't dismissed you!
You paid your dues because of others, but I paid your!
Are we friends!.... can't see except that we are rivals and about what i'm not sure!  
I don't know what makes you scared of me!
Something died with you, and I won't fall in love with you again!
Did you hear a soul came back to body after death? I didn't!
I look back only to say.....
                                  Sorry
I have a path to take!
Pinky promise under the eyes of heaven made!
Later, I felt my only pinky finger was giving the pledge!
I can't see your there! and so.... I am
                                  Sorry

I don´t know who invited me here!
I don´t know what message I´ll be recieving in coming days here!
I know nothing except I lost the language I know I became Plain!
I became somewhere lost in space of nature and creatures living their own  lives!
I doubted my knowedge!
I questioned my beliefs!
I despute what I´ve recieved throughout those years!
Being with Nature is the bless that my spirit is longing to!
In silence with Nature I can find more words than with human!
In Silence with Nature I connected to my heart!
In Silence I felt the strangeness I have around me!
I thanked heaven for who I am!
I thanked for being Me!

Hello…
It is True that my words voice demanding, but when words fails to translate what their inside their soul and veins, then excuses are sought…
If I gave you my blood, you would feel the heat, the burning, the eager that human’s dictionary won’t capture…
The only misfortune was coming in/at wrong time and wrong state!
“Is there something else, you want?”
I looked at her and my heart wants to shout out and loud, saying to her “ Can’t you see!”, “ Can’t you hear!”, Can’t you Feel!”….
I’m creating “Drama” of its own, “Drama” ruined by human and I’m counted on them and I’m not one of them!....
Everything is Burning…
Everything leading to those states that I’m leaving behind…
“I am …..” ….. I know more than that….
I know every minute what comes when you are around me or not…
I feel the world more when I look at your eyes and they are telling me “I fear what you carry for me?”….
Don’t walk away! When my world is burning…
Don’t Walk away! When my Heart is Yearning…
I feel the silence when created by your words, sending me to the island of answers, where no answers left for me to give it back to you….
After knowing you, silence became my enemy after being my close friend…
In him you live…
In him your words move…
In him your eyes… your hair… your white skin are portrait…
Tell me when we draw the line…
You let everything flying around!
You let colors be seen!
You let love has a taste!
Time has meaning!
Heart has a life!
Sky is holding many words!
Shooting stars are dancing!
Moon is shining…
You let me ”Fly”
To somewhere…
To Some Places were not visited…
To some emotions were not felt before…

You became the theme of undrawn future… The theme of the air I’m breathing… The theme of silence I’m dwelling in…

They saw the other person in me….
They saw the life in me…
They saw the smile you put inside me..

But
They didn’t see “You” …. SSSSHHHH…. It is a Secret!
Your “Genuine” was clear like a sun…
Your “Transparent” was like a shining diamond…
Your “Strength” was felt in your punches…
I know you from your eyes when looking at mine…

What isn’t real?

God created me with full of packages built inside me…
God sent that angle to trigger the treasure box inside me…
God’s well! I can’t help in that!

What is real, is the inhale of real life started with you, stepping in my lonely castle!

You are “Naked”!

My Emotions were embedded in a written word that are given to me by heaven…
Mind and body surrendered to Heart declaring Love being given from the Seven Heaven….

“Naked” from Flesh, but covered with emotions, love and authenticity … Protecting me, taking care of me and easing my falling…

“Naked” from selfish, naked from meaningless, naked from hypocrisy, naked from lust and naked from earthly desires/whims…

I only want “Love”!

“I do feel safe with you”! “I always did”
“How do you know that you miss me?”

When sleeping on cold bed, takes your life and spirit…
When warmth is leaving your bed for ages....
When your speech is about one person, who colored your life…
When people start saying to you “ You look different”…
When you become a poet of every minute of your life…

When the whole world pause for your moment, and nothing else matters…
When your Heart keeps recalling one Face… One Cough… One Skin… One Figure… Who is You!!!

I’ve been “Reframed”  in a way old “State” of an unknown world was shaken and led to unvisited world before…

The “Context”  is New!
The “Sensory” were not belong to me…
I’ve been “NLPed”  in a whole person producing a …..
“ Lover”

I want to end the story of that guy who is good…who is nice..who is helpful!
I wan to stop the scene of that person who is with that cool smile..
I wan to start a  new story!
…… No More of those facades!
A story of a new version…
A story of upgraded version…
And not…
A version of a perfect one!
I am not seeking perfectionism…
I’m seeking my true self…
I’m seeking Me!
10-10-2018

High Prices Paid!
Deep Pain Felt!
Confusion was the Theme of my life!
Loss was a result of every wound inside me!
I'm not perfect and i won't polish that!
I'm not angel and i won't pretend!
I'm not Living my Past!
                                       But.......
I am now who I am!
Tomorrow will be different than who I am now!
I will be in different versions.... But my Heart is the core of every version!
Don't judge my version, check My Heart and Connect!....Thanks

The Sky is angry!
Irony how the universe feels you more than humans!
Clouds gathered to listen to my anger!
Air blowing around Clouds to feel the echo of agony!
Birds hide away from Seeing the Soul's Bleeding!
Looking to my dry skin, thinking how rough the journey i went through was!
Feeling the cold deep inside my arteries!
Can't swallow the breath....can't sense the heat in my blood..
Feeling the shy tear asking for permission to let it go!...and I don't have the sense what to do! I can't help at the moment!
My question!....
                                          Is it Betrayal?
                                          Is it Normal?
                                          Is it part of human's game?
Still there other questions inside me, wondering what is rational left out!
Leaving things behind me, I feel dishonoring my essence!
                                         Thank you...
I saw the other half of the cup!

I miss the logic in you!
            I miss the craziness in me around you!
I miss.......
The smell in you and from you!
The unsaid words inside your eyes!
The smile of that little child inside you!
Strange....
I'm in my bed lonely with my lonely blanket warming my lost in the silence of the night!
Clearing my packages to fit when light rises in the next day!

Thanks to all of you...
Thanks for reading my words with your hearts...
Thanks for opening your soul and embrace me...
Thanks for being genuine humans and looking by your hearts...
                                            I am....
Pleased to come across you, lovely souls...
Pleased to read  your words...
Pleased to witness your emotional process..
                                             I'm....
                                          Thankful....

I hold the pen and close my eyes, makes my heart open his book in pain!
Listen to that melody calling for that melody, makes all lines shake in fear!
Space and every element surrounding that space lead to hold my trembled heart to fade in illusion!
Questioning my reasons....
Questioning the versions of me I became through my journey!
Questioning the purpose I have every now and then!
Questioning should I go further than this place I reached!
The sun hiding behind those shy clouds trying to keep the light of the new road from being seen!
What is behind that Road!...

What is there in Silence that ****** every portion of me to listen?
The mind is somewhere...
Body doesn't belong to it.....
Feelings are somewhere wondering for answers!...
It is a Silent that worth a million lifes!!!
Would you ask for it?

I am begging "Myself", to rest me from those things moving inside my spirit!
I am begging "Myself", to release me from the pain of wearing the PokerFace!
I am tired to keep that fire held between my skins...
I am fed up with all those beats all over my body and spirit!
I am wondering why her name provokes such vibes!
I am begging the Unknown place of me, wondering where my life will end with those paths!

Now all my moments are calling her!
She is in Silence for now!
She is in Validation... Am I  dream or illusion!
She is afraid if closing her eyes!
The Confusion is squeezing her soul!
Shall I let him go!
Shall I let my goals!
Shall I keep him!
Shall I be in "Love"!
What is my.....Call!

All over the years I lived...
Throughout things I've experienced...
I concluded that nights are the only companion to contract with...
I want to stop reading the lines of my life...
I don't want to live the predicted life...
I don't want my lines to go out of my books...
I want to sleep without waking up for anything...
                           "I can't stop thinking of her"
Recalling her last image and voice like making love at Celestial level!
Making love with pain in soul!
23-11-2015

Walking the road with her, not feeling my body or the things around me!, as if everything paused for understanding what is in the air!
Walking the road with her, and the only longing was to disappear from world so she won't see the pain my body hold!
Walking the road, I couldn't see a thing that belongs to me except the love I have for her!
Walking the road, seeing that my love to her is going so fast although it didn't started...
Walking the road with her, wishing not to end... looking to my watch asking God to take the tears of that heart, that beats in joy for the first time after ages...
Walking the road with her....
Eyes were looking away somewhere!...
The black hair that I want to touch, like a dark night!...
Lips how they are moving..
The tone how going low and sad...
Her silence, that invites me to say why?...
Hands and viens, how thin they are and warm...

It is a lonely night that i fear from!
Such a lonely day that I'm glad that I survived...
Walking the road with her, all my limbs running to its world!
I don't know why the whole being of me pushing me to have that hug and kiss!
The fear that the hug and kiss would take my life to Hell...
23-11-2015

Leaving my solitary wandering in a world unknown to me…
Leaving my castle, and keeping my secrets locked there…
Leaving my shelter and shielding my soul with thousands of armors…
Leaving my serenity, looking to what is missing back there…

All those years…
I thought I was right!
All Those years..
I felt I was in peace!
All those years…
I sensed I was wise!

But

After All those years, I realized I was Alone!
After being the prince of that castle for all those years, I found that love was not in every corner of that palace!



Loneliness became my companion in that drifting!
Mystery was the scarf wrapping my whole being!
Fear was the pain endured in the wilderness!
It is a journey of an old spirit that didn’t rest!

I passed by a garden not covered by my sight…
I smelled every smell was not known to me…
I saw the blossom of each flower…
I touched every leaves and stems in secret…

Bunches of roses called secretly… Invited me unintentionally to rest…to live…to love.

All those years wiped out…
All those years became meaningless…
I’ve been fulfilled, transformed roughly with them, unable to leave…
The eager is to stay, but the love I met took me to places where I found something beyond the boundaries of human!!

Stranger in the wilderness surrounded with their aroma!
The bless is there touching deeply and leaving you with everlasting scar that won’t cure

The Grace in her Smile... Let you feel the shyness melting in you...
The Gentleness in her eyes.... Keeps you wondering when she will hug you!...
The Voice tells you a story of Mystery!
Steeling those looks to look through her eyes...
Moving between faces to meet her face and give that smile...
She is the Fountain of feelings that you long for!
She is simply a true soul!

A drop of Tear dropped.... before my steps into the Alter!
A drop of Tear dropped.... before saying my name!
A drop of Tear dropped.... before declaring my hunger!

I danced my signature...
I cast my charm...

I saw their eyes glowing and through receiving me...
I saw their smiles inviting me to rest...
I saw their tears and I'm happy in trusting them!

I cried in silence saying to myself... "Where have you been?!"
I saw their eyes and I fall in love for them...
I am finally in my Place!
I am in my Tribe!!

She is the Guardian of Joy!
           Look at her face, and you will melt in a smile of truth...
She is the Guardian of Joy!
           You will hear the voice of love in her cords...
She is the Guardian of Joy!
           You will be hugged with her warmth...
She is the Guardian of Joy!
           She will take care of your ease...
She is the Guardian of Joy!
           Because she is Lourdes the "Power" of a "Laugh"!

The moon guarding me in silence!
I know his words and what he wants from me!
I know his worries!
Put your worries at ease my friend!
My heart still alive and beating!
My heart still in his place and I'll take care of him!
Thank you for being there and I can see the sad look In your face and the tear you are holding back!
I'm the Fearless Ronin, whose ups and downs are part of his journey!
Although downs are deep, but they are taking me to a higher place!
Taking me to be;
More shining in loving the universe!
More open like crystal!
More grounded like the Temple on the top of a mountain!
More profound like deep blue ocean!
More gentle like a ****** soul!
I'm not that shallow!
I'm bigger that can't be contained!
Thanks for those sparking stars around you!
Thanks for their light!
Thanks for their genuine glow!
I'm just ready for that
                           goodbye kiss!

I wonder what language I hear when i let my heart speaks!
When I let my heart speaks, i question him!

I question him for a language that is not heard around!

Should I question my Heart or those Hearts around me!
Should I mind those Hearts... Or witness them away from me!
Should I care or ignore!

No doubt...

My Heart's Language worth to Listen to and speak it out!

It is A Language of a Living Heart!

I'm Inviting you...! Hope to hear your Heart's Language soon!

I might be a stranger and I was called that…
I might be a freak, and I was called that…
I might be abnormal, and I was called that…

All over those years, I was collecting labels to my  collection! and nothing new!

I was searching all those years to relax, for peace and for meaning in every breath I’m taking from this life!

According to Human’s terms and law….
I fall in love….
I got married….
I had children…
I got divorced…

And I was still searching…..Then….

I found her… and all terms and laws changed!

everything…
Turned upside down…
Chaos became the theme…
Logic became the stranger in my world…



Even when I lose, I win….
I lost my centre… I win my heart!
I lost my sense… I win my meaning!
I lost my logic…. I win the purpose!
I am broken…. But I was reborn…

                            Here I am….
Not Sad….
With my new skin and heart!
Ready for the unexpected failure and win are the same for me! I will learn from each opportunity they will bring to me.
On Alert of that moment to…..
                              Leap!

I saw it in me! I saw it in my silence! I saw it in my dream!
I saw every minute telling me to leave!
I have to leave! But where to? That I didn’t know!
Just walk away…walk and other things will fall into its places! Don’t be afraid!
Don’t be scared!
Don’t be skeptical!
Don’t wait for that thing to happen!
Don’t wait for that change, that you are longing for!
Don’t wait to be a stranger again!
It is just a label! You are a stranger even in your enoughness…
In your fullness…
In your wholebeing…
Just take that Leave…and be …
The Leave!

I stood in front of her in body, but my soul behind her....
trying to run away!
Are you fine? A question, which its answer already known!
I didn't avoid her, I did only leave her alone and failed to keep her away from my eyes! my heart! my core!
My breaths became heavy
My heart beats in slow motion
My stomach is shivering
I watch every spot of her!
I looked at her ear, wanting to touch them!
I just felt I want to hug!
Am I dreaming?!

I'm fallen in love with the darkness of night
Its obscurity, invites me to walk in its silence!
In it, I go wild in being unknown!
In it, I got friends from heaven looking after me!
In it, I ask myself "why I can't sleep in her arms?"
There where night sends its sign, dude wake up "it is the darkness of night, where you are not seen!"

I miss you in today's night!
The first time I realized the night without you is dark!
I can't tell  you "I miss you"!
I can't tell you how the day was!
I'll keep my words away from you, till you wake up in the morning!
Till my day becomes Night!

I found those papers in my drawers!
Knowing my own words, would make it easy to feel their belonging to me!
Tried to paint the landscape I dreamt of…
Tried to place my hope of joy and peace in its corner…
I can’t find my true color…
I can’t find the details that speaks me…
I realized I have  a picture of my world painted by others colors…
I realized I don’t own that painting

23-10-2018

How on earth my "Love" landed with "The Poker Face"!
Every details of her glowing eyes speak freedom, was seen!
Every vibes of her little smile and shielded words were felt and touched...
Every unclear fear was wonder in her tone!
Every concealed happiness is breathed!
                              How on Earth she is a
                                 "The Poker Face"
How on earth I felt safe with her with her hug!
How on earth I found the lost self with her!
How on earth I'm breathing from my soul, when I'm with her!
                            Unless I'm still Dead and I'm in Dying Process!
                                                   Then
                                      It makes sense!
22-11-2015

Scripts has been written and became rotten…
Words are abandoned and forgotten…
Papers are withered and paled away…
Feelings are faded and hugged by lost!

And

Trying to find meaning was not easy…
It ends up trying to find myself…
It is not in love only…
It is not in money only…
It is not in fame only….
It is not in anything if you are not in everything in this life!

Go all the way…..

Your quest won’t be the same always!

Fly Away!......I looked through their eyes with fear...
It is your time to show who you are!...I hold my tear with lost inside my soul!
I'll do it!..my voice proceed faster than my mind!
You will see!....my lips uttered those words and my mind still perplexed!
What would I show you! that is my question that freak me out!
I can't find the answer that calm my worries!
I don't know anymore The Real Me!
I'm still searching eagerly for Who I Am!
Where .....I have to .... Fly Away!

He followed the call of his Heart!
He followed the signal from Universe!
He kept all those voices  named as Norms, Limits, Fears behind his Big Heart…
                   And….
He shouted his Love… His Feelings…His Emotions to Universe!
He Shouted out a Message….
“It is my time to live the life I should live with My Heart!”
He is the “Healer” I call…
She is the “Free Breath” I call…
What a Joy they brought to me and the whole world!
Honoured “Love”…. Trusted “Spirit”…Grounded “Belief”… Led to happiness beyond words to express!

Jealous felt!

What needed to Shout one’s “Love”?

Question requires immense courage to have within the self!

Nourish yourself with Courage that your heart is bigger than the world!

Thanks M & V for the Moral you taught the world!

Reading Those stories..
Reading Those Lines with Heart and Mind…
Feeling those immense emotions…
Led me to a question…. Do I have a story!

Although a thought came saying “No”

Another Question popped up… Do I Have to have one!

A feeling came saying “ Is it Mandatory?” Do you need to please anyone or anything?

Something came and talked to me: Is it an Ego? Is it the box of “I am nothing”?… Is it the Box of “I Need to be seen”?

I don’t know!

So…Let me tell you the “No Story” of me!

The Journey of No change!
The Journey of becoming aware of my dark sides!
The Journey of waiting for someone to tell me “You are doing something!!.

“Coaching has saved you”!! with a smile and sadness i received this statement, knowing it is true!

What a waste!

It is Journey of Angry soul! Angry Words, Angry Breaths that burn this history under my name!

In My silence I build, waiting for that erupt to free me from those chains of……

“It should be right”
“It Should be Catchy”
“It should  be perfect”

……And…

I still don’t know why?

It is  A Journey of falling in love with “Profiling”!!

When Identity became not welcomed and preferred anymore!

When I resent every minute of my life of knowing nothing except losing things including myself!