Words failed to present my story! Stories couldn't define Who A I! Expressions misled eyes! Then Silence Appears to.... Bring light to words Bring meaning to chaos Give power to voice Where silence becomes your Story!
I want to end the story of that guy who is good…who is nice..who is helpful! I wan to stop the scene of that person who is with that cool smile.. I wan to start a new story! …… No More of those facades! A story of a new version… A story of upgraded version… And not… A version of a perfect one! I am not seeking perfectionism… I’m seeking my true self… I’m seeking Me! 10-10-2018
In process of knowing who I am! In process of recalling my memories! I found an empty space! A space I can’t remember! A space I struggle to belong to! A space I questioned my belongings in this world! A space I realized I’m forgotten!
I found those papers in my drawers! Knowing my own words, would make it easy to feel their belonging to me! Tried to paint the landscape I dreamt of… Tried to place my hope of joy and peace in its corner… I can’t find my true color… I can’t find the details that speaks me… I realized I have a picture of my world painted by others colors… I realized I don’t own that painting
I saw it in me! I saw it in my silence! I saw it in my dream! I saw every minute telling me to leave! I have to leave! But where to? That I didn’t know! Just walk away…walk and other things will fall into its places! Don’t be afraid! Don’t be scared! Don’t be skeptical! Don’t wait for that thing to happen! Don’t wait for that change, that you are longing for! Don’t wait to be a stranger again! It is just a label! You are a stranger even in your enoughness… In your fullness… In your wholebeing… Just take that Leave…and be … The Leave!
Grateful! I’m grateful to shoes who are not grateful to me… I’m grateful to my insanity for keeping me sane… I’m grateful to my dark side of me, for letting me know where I can find the light… I’m grateful to those silent, painful moment for letting me find the hope in those strange moments… I’m grateful to undisclosed craziness in finding balance in unknown moments…
A day is marked under my name saying, “it is Your Birthday”? And “I Forgot!” I forgot to count! I forgot to enjoy! I forgot to have fun! Papers are fading away! Withering like leaves in the air I refrain myself from writing… I refrain my words to go out of my throat! I can’t stop what inside me! I can’t stand still from knowing why! I can’t understand my silence anymore!