I think you were sent to me by an angel
To teach me a lesson about my value
You illuminated paths I couldn't see within
Who knew you'd lead me to where I've never been

When you first disappeared,
Fear gripped me tight.
I was left broken
Without a star in the night

When you returned, my hope was reignited
but my fears would cause a lot of damage.
Now you're here, but not quite near,
Your silence echoing, forcing me to steer

Giving me the time and space
to really hear everything you once said
to let myself listen and internalize it
how valuable I am

I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone

I’m a glutton for attention.
For the mention
Of my name.
Please, just prove
My existence is real.
Say that I matter.
𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳
Say that I matter!
𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳

I. Don’t. Need. You.

But I do, I really  do.

I went to God, crying
Begging for release from this cycle of
Neediness, lack of worthiness,
desperation and pain.
She told me…
Why are you asking for pittance of love,
When I have an ocean of love pouring for you…
You are me and I am you.
Take it all and have it all.
With Grandeur and Glory.
This entire cosmos is yours to claim.
Don’t deny it to yourself…

Many come to me seeking this and that,
My offer is the same,
But will you allow yourself to have it all?

I am clear in my head and perhaps in heart that it is not love,
It is my own lack that I look to fill through you.
Isn’t it true that you also felt that you could fill your void with me?  
Isn’t it all what we look for, in a relationship?
Sometimes I want just that…
Why can’t we have our cup filled by someone?
Why is there an image of ideals and perfection…
That we have to be all for ourselves,
Not needing validation.
Why do we strive to be all?

I exist
No matter what...
Despite...

I exist
Fearlessly,
Securely,
Confidently,
Rightfully,
Claiming my space in the universe
I exist...because
I AM.
And I cant be anything else other than ME.

I want to hug
my son's son
60 years from now.

With beauty,
and pain,
and wonder,
and heartbreak
written into the lines
across my face.

Telling him
he is enough.
He'll always be enough.

"Validation, valediction
What's the difference now?
Eschew the standard
Turn the paradigm upside down
You could be happy, if you wanted to be
Don't feel obliged to live a life you never wanted to
The best way out is straight through
Let intuition guide you
You could be happy, if you wanted to be".

I don’t know who I am
I don’t even feel like a person
maybe that’s why I enjoy *** so much
to receive attraction
a validation of existence
proving a planet exists through its moon’s orbit.