I am still a child, even today While my skin grows and stretch marks rise And for years all I ever craved was attention from anyone with eyes, or vocal chords to say anything to me Now I am older, and I would have thought I’d learn how to live in my skin, How to live with myself But now I am a shell of what I once was Who I used to be The life and will to survive has left my body, I am decrepit and weak Yet the leech inside me only grows quicker and quicker with every heart beat I hate how much I hate myself I’d give all the money in the world for some way out Some way to feel My body feels foreign, I can’t recognize it And I’d live in the body of everyone else before my own, Because I know I’ll never be comfortable inside of myself Maybe I should accept what has become of me That I’ll never be who I was, or who I wanted to be That I spent years searching for validation where I knew it would never be found Just for the thrill that I might just reach it Even though I know I never will
I like to end the game with my shields up And my hero buffed And enhancement stuffed But sometimes that isn't enough Sometimes I kick the loser while they're down So they can join me below the ground In this mentality where I drown
Life is a test And I gave up In this game I'm the best So it's here I'm stuck In a world of fable A developer's tale Where I prevail And find validation By achieving victory Then causing agitation Because of my misery
Victory means I'm better Victory means I'm smarter Once your flag is fettered I call you a starter Thinking I'm somehow harder Discounting my partners In this digital harbor
With all my bickering There's no mystery Why the result starts differing I hear the enemy team snickering As my team starts whimpering
I feel my fortune shifting Once luck isn't with me And the match starts drifting From a victorious gifting To quite laborious indeed
I put all my time into this game And nothing else So I feel immense shame From digital welts This individual hell Of a darkened cell Is where I fell Convinced my ability Is proof of some secret potential I give my life willingly To prove to gamers I'm special
Disappeared into an ocean of sadness Turn and burn oh **** here we go. Being hunted down. Did he just buck it all the way to OZ
Hooked lined and sinker It was like a rollercoaster Not known which track to take. But nvm you where never mine
Trying to find the answers while being stuck on yesterday With my mind playing tricks on me. Why does it have to hurt when you Ain’t mine. No relationship just talking.
Maybe one day you’ll see what you missed that one girl who’d never hurt you. She lost hope when you left her on read. She’s the one thinking what did I do wrong? Was it the fact i expressed some love towards them? Where’s the time gone? 2 months in and she’s confused. With mixed signals. She knows deep down she doesn’t matter She just wants validation from someone she admires.
An external force to tell you that everything you are doing is right No it isn't love Never use it to fill the empty spaces To satiate your needs To show off your good deeds Validation To document being a good person Only while people are watching But little do you know Everyone is always watching Validation
I'm a popular monster I make you feel insane Take all these dark thoughts and place them in your brain Play them on repeat until fully ingrained Already a part of you Soon you will have no say Try not to hurt anyone so you push them away Cry about it later call and beg them all to stay Never leave your house then go online and complain Toxic validation from those who only know your name You're a popular monster They all think you're insane They laugh at all your updates They think it's all a game Projecting sense of humor when you're really filled with rage Numb yourself by scrolling you just want to feel okay Say something real, they ignore it your honesty goes to waste So you return to performing This platform is your stage I'm a popular monster I'll keep posting from your grave