There were
so many reasons
not to
that also
pushed me
to

Your butterfly flutters
cut the inside of my
stomach
every time
I pass a blooming
flower of
your memory

I do not want to confine myself to a cubicle
I do not want to type my way through a day
I do not want to bite my nails, fearing I ‘d fail
I do not want to smoke my anxiety, on a Thursday
I do not want to miss sunrise, in traffic
I do not want to train a fake smile
I do not want to mingle, even when I’m single
I do not want to leave quarantine, even if you call it a syndrome
I do not want to jump into busy, I do not miss it
I do not want to forget how to value
I do not want to rush, I like the pause
I do not want to live by time, I want to control time
I do not want to consume a designated lunch, I want to make lunch matter
I do not want lockdown to end

I will
forever curse
the day
I fell
for that smile
baring in mind  
it turned my world
to a hell

I (in) fell
and melted
under pressure

                                             I fell (out)
                                                                ­and was reborn
                  then I stumbled
                                                        ­     on a pebble
                                  and fell
                                                in
                                                           again

I took a stroll
with that one thought
yesterday
and I ended up
on the peak 
of a mountain
looking down at you
surrounded by city lights
in a sea of stars
you just stood there
a ball of darkness
that set all the other
moons in order

Leading someone
on
feels
like writing
the beginning
of the
cutest poem
and then
it sudde.......

(I) (n)ever d(o)ubted
**(w) ****
confidence
loo(k)s
on
you

Look ...

Why do we
always question
happiness?

Looking through the window
at floating clouds
sun beams melting away
in their fluff
a bird flies by

A slight shiver awakens my spine
your warmth slowly slithers
around me
a strong embrace

The sun shows up again
the clouds have passed
blue skies, calm me

you land a kiss on my shoulder

you go back to bed

and sign off with a light caress down my spine

sign language for

"come back to bed
the sun understands"

It's insane
But
I know..
it's wrong
and
I keep doing it
Regardlessly

I did the mistake
of thinking you're like me
and I am like you
little did I know
that you
celebrated Halloween
all year
long

Forgive me
for I am a sinner
a sucker
for
trouble
a victim
for
being
a
lover

It's more
than just
a sigh
when my
lungs forget
how to breathe

I hate how
blurred lines
never made for
clear plots
and left
you with
a lot
of nothing
ness

I bit my fingernails
to the bone
only to understand
the pain
that my pencils
have
withstood

Am I wasting time?
or is time
wasting
me?

Lust
is l(ove) (st)reet
without
you

Lust is
Lost
without
you

Lust is
life with
"I" (f)eeling (e)xcited

Lust is
flexible
but never
a sin
until
it is
with
(u)

Why does my mind
race
without running shoes
to exhaust the
thought of
over-thinking?

Even though I wear
my heart on my sleeve
there are those
who are too blind
to see it
weirder yet
those who
choose
not
to

Even nature
knows
when the hearts
of lovers
beat to a different tune
summoning
the rains
to comfort the coldest
of feelings

There are times
your look
tell me more
than just
a
"good
morning"

Flimsy
forevers
fortify
feeble
fantasies

A surge
raced from
my throat
...*****...
of toxins
left me
weightless
almost high

I feel much better now

The mind will never learn
until the heart does
and that's the toughest pupil
to teach

I solemnly swear
for every time
my body craves
a taste of liquor
I put my pencil
to paper ...

For my days
are being diluted
I have no memories
my recollection
needs collection
from every bottom
of every glass
I drank dry ..

I need to put the cup down
and pick my
pencil
up

What ***** is that
poets don't ghost
because they
can't
un-write