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Oct 2016 · 191
Untitled
Alaska Oct 2016
You can't get rid of me that
easily,
you can push all you want,
but
I'll still be here,
I may just
decide to give you
your space,
but
I'll come back, don't worry
you're stuck
with me.
Oct 2016 · 1.9k
Untitled
Alaska Oct 2016
hand holding
is such a
beautiful thing,
two different
hands intertwined
to make one.
Oct 2016 · 243
Untitled
Alaska Oct 2016
You do not need to be with
someone to be happy.
You may want to be with
someone, but you do
not need to be.
Love yourself first,
please....
Oct 2016 · 282
Memories
Alaska Oct 2016
It's funny how
certain songs
can bring back
a sea of memories
that you didn't
even know you've
forgotten.
Oct 2016 · 1.1k
Friend Zone
Alaska Oct 2016
Maybe  I'll always
be in the friend zone,
maybe I won't.
But at least I know
I'll be the one that
cares the most.
Oct 2016 · 323
8/24/16
Alaska Oct 2016
Honestly, I'm always
gonna be the one
that cares too much
about the people I
love.
Sometimes I think
it's a burden..
Other times I
think I'm blessed
to be this way.
Oct 2016 · 496
Untitled
Alaska Oct 2016
Have you ever
just looked at
people in a
bookstore?
Not judging
them, just
looking,
and seeing
all the different
people buying
different books.
You don't have
to look a certain
way to read or
purchase a book.
You don't have
to look a certain
way in order to read
a certain genre,
just look like
you.
Oct 2016 · 491
You're Gonna Be Okay.
Alaska Oct 2016
When you get hurt...
emotionally...
it's not a physical
wound..
And some people
fail to realize that..
You can't just put a
bandage on your heart,
let it heal, and be okay
again... No.
It takes time for your
mind and heart to heal.
Sure there is maybe
some pain now and then
but, not as much as
there was in the beginning.
You're gonna
be okay.
Oct 2016 · 733
8/22/16
Alaska Oct 2016
I don't understand..
Why does the person
and the people who
helped them mess
with my mind...
get to be happy with
their significant other?
When is karma going
to get them?
Honestly, I'm just lucky
I have as much
patience as I do.
Aug 2016 · 361
Face
Alaska Aug 2016
Why must you
be this way?
Full of blemishes
and discolor.
I know God
wanted me
to look a certain
way,
but i'm sure
he didn't intend
for this.
I try and try
to have a clear
face, but nothing
seems to help.
I look at my
reflection and cry, cry, cry.
Even though my outside
isn't so beautiful,
at least my inside is.
God thinks I'm beautiful and that's all I need.
Aug 2016 · 753
Untitled
Alaska Aug 2016
I'm such an embarrassment.
No one wants to be with me,
because clearly I'm not pretty
enough, thin enough, or good
enough for anyone.
Thanks for making me feel this way,
but don't worry, I'll get it over it, and
prove you wrong.
Alaska Aug 2016
I don't need you to fix me.
I don't need you to pick up my pieces.
I don't want you to.
I do not want you to.
I never asked you to.
Aug 2016 · 534
You are....
Alaska Aug 2016
Love,
You are enough.
Don't you ever think you are not.
That boy or girl you thought you were in love with, they don't decide if you're enough.
All that matters is that you are enough for you.
You will always be enough.
You are one of kind.
You are you.
Laugh uncontrollably, dance like no one's watching, smile as big as you can.
Live life knowing you're enough.
One day at a time, each day to its fullest.
I love you and God loves you.
You're not alone .
Jul 2016 · 246
Untitled
Alaska Jul 2016
It's funny how I promote how it's
not good to be angry, because it really
only affects yourself,
But I do in fact get angry....
Except it's only at myself.
Alaska Jul 2016
and asked me what movie
I was watching.

I was lucky.

That's the most he has
spoken to me in weeks.
Jul 2016 · 291
12:58 AM
Alaska Jul 2016
Im laying in bed at a horrid travel lodge and sleep can't seem to find me.

Must've been that coffee I had with my dessert, my aunt asked me if it would interfere with my sleep, I said nope.
Where are you sleep?
Jul 2016 · 311
Untitled
Alaska Jul 2016
I know I'm not the prettiest flower in the garden, but you don't have to constantly remind me.
Jun 2016 · 254
Untitled
Alaska Jun 2016
You built me up in the beginning, just to put me down in the end.

I was insecure,
you saw that,
you knew
that.

You complimented me,
building me up,
making my
confidence flourish,
you helped me
feel beautiful.

Then came the
lust and I
became insecure
once again.

I thought in
order to be
beautiful for you,
I had to please you.

I was insecure,
but to the point where
I would stop and
not go further.

I knew what you
liked already,
I didn't want to do
something else where
maybe you didn't
like what you saw
and
you weren't pleased.
Jun 2016 · 466
2:39AM
Alaska Jun 2016
It is now 2:39am and I'm thinking about an old flame.
I flipped through the old memories I had written down about you.
October 7th, 2011 was the day you first called me beautiful,
by the fence of your backyard.
I smile as I think about it now, you no longer make sad.
I remember how you used to be,not the **** you've turned out to be.
Jun 2016 · 923
1:16 AM
Alaska Jun 2016
Pick me up.
Pick me up
and let's drive.
Let's drive away
and never look
back.
Let's talk about
everything that's
kept locked deep
in the catacombs
of our hearts.
Let's trust one
another,
just you and
me.
Grab my hand.
hold it tight.
Spill all.
I'll tighten my
grip, as goosebumps
appear on our
arms.
I'm here,
you're here.
We shouldn't worry.
I won't let you go,
if you don't let me go.
Jun 2016 · 552
Untitled
Alaska Jun 2016
I've loved only one
in my eighteen years
and stopped myself before
I could love another.

I grew up without
love, not knowing what
it felt like to
be loved or to
love someone else.

But now, I  know
what love is after
I've seen and experienced
it.

Except when I fell
in love, it was
only me who fell..

And I don't plan
on falling again unless
I know I will
be caught.
May 2016 · 383
Untitled
Alaska May 2016
Your voice is a drug
that I can't get enough of.

--

Your voice is a drug
and I'm addicted.
May 2016 · 1.6k
Untitled
Alaska May 2016
I want to learn
script, so maybe
I can feel as pretty
as my handwriting.
May 2016 · 301
Dear Me, Part 2
Alaska May 2016
No, stop, no.
There's no point
in having feelings
for another.
This way there
is no pain.
There's no more
games.
You never have
to guess if
they like you.
Focus on you,
you don't need
A boy.
All you need is
you.
May 2016 · 276
Dear Me
Alaska May 2016
"Write," I whisper to myself.
"Write, keep writing, don't cry. Just write. You'll feel better."
Don't stop writing.
This is your only escape, you are only free when you write.
May 2016 · 984
"Family"
Alaska May 2016
My "family" is
not a real
family.
There is only
hared,
no love.
We despise one
another and
it seems like
we have
competitions
of who can insult
eachother the most,
only to see who
goes crazy first.
May 2016 · 262
All I Want
Alaska May 2016
Please hold me,
Tell me everything
Is going to
Be okay,
As I sob
Into your chest.
Hold me tight,
But not too tight,
For I am fragile
And pieces of me
Are already missing...
I don't think I can
Afford to lose anymore.
Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry.
Apr 2016 · 381
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
I'll never forget the time
you laughed at me
when I told you I was
stupid for scratching at my face viciously,

leaving me with a scab
under the bags of my right eye.

I stood there crying as you laughed.

Who knew that would be
the start of my anxiety attacks.
Apr 2016 · 451
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
I hate the way
my voice sounds,
because sometimes
it comes off loud and
sometimes I give an attitude
when I honestly do not mean to.

But no one believes me.

I was raised in loudness.
Constant yelling, screaming , shouting , and rudeness.

I am coated with hatred.

Nothing calm, sweet and nice to be found, not even in the corners of my home.

I'm sorry.
I'm truly kind and caring,
only somewhat broken,
I promise.
Apr 2016 · 784
Ashamed
Alaska Apr 2016
People should not be ashamed for feeling.
I'm not sorry for the way I felt about you
Because it only seemed to be a phase,
that's why I've let my emotions out
through words rather than pouring
out my soul to you.
And to the next person I fall for,
let it be known it's most likely a phase,
don't expect me to spill at all.
We as humans should not be ashamed of loving one another, sometimes people slip and fall into the trap, sometimes it's a phase, don't worry you will get through it. I'm just sick of people getting tormented for having feelings for someone and being ashamed for the way they feel, we're all human and it happens. If it doesn't work out or if it's a phase, you will move on and it's going to be okay.
Apr 2016 · 507
Another...
Alaska Apr 2016
Did I mention I
miss the way your mouth
would form into a smile?

The way your teeth would
show, along with your dimples,
crescents on the corners of your
mouth.

I adored your smile.
Apr 2016 · 344
One thing
Alaska Apr 2016
One thing I do miss about you is:
your hands.

The way they would poke
and grasp me.

The way they
felt against my skin.

So gentle,
yet rough.
Apr 2016 · 365
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
The parts of me that you broke
are all mended,
but the parts from my past,
don't seem like they're
going to mend together
again.
Apr 2016 · 263
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
I'm dipping into my past pain
to distract myself from today's pain.
Apr 2016 · 282
The Visit
Alaska Apr 2016
You* visited my mind today,
I was sad for a moment but then,
happiness crept up on me like a
child's surprise party.

The memories I have of
you are warm,
I'm done thinking of
you as a burden.

You can't make me sad anymore,
you're gone and frankly,
I don't want
you**
back.
Apr 2016 · 329
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
I may find it beautiful but,
you may find it unusual.
Apr 2016 · 280
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
The new trend
Seems to be
Falling in love
With your best friend.
Apr 2016 · 303
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
Maybe when I'm
Drunk and vulnerable
I'll confess it all.

Like how I love you
And the way you smile
When you tell me about
A good day you've had.

Or how I could never
Tell you I'm in love  
With you sober

Because I know you don't
Feel the same and I
Can't bare to take the pain.
Apr 2016 · 429
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
She was his flower
So gentle and pure
But only for an hour,
For he could not
Hold her too long.
Apr 2016 · 595
I'll Never Tell
Alaska Apr 2016
There's something
you'll never
know.

And it's
the way
I feel
about you.
Apr 2016 · 224
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
She whispered,
"I love you"

as he stared
off into the
distance

"Did you say
something?"

He turned
his head
towards hers.

"No."
"say I love you, when you're not listening."
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
Sit with me
Alaska Apr 2016
and watch
the sunset

watch the
waves kiss
the shore
blissfully

and listen
to the
crash.

Listen to the
seagulls talking to
one another as
they race on
by.

Enjoy this moment.
Enjoy this moment, right here,
right now.
Apr 2016 · 360
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
What I feel
will fade

at least I
hope.
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
I've realized
I've always
been everyone's
second choice

once their
number one
leaves, they
start putting
me first.

actually, sometimes
I'm not
even a
second choice

I'm the
last resort.

but for once
I was the
first choice without
being a second
one at all.

Thank you.
Thank you
for making
me feel
important.
Apr 2016 · 547
Untitled
Alaska Apr 2016
At this point,
I don't know
what I'm feeling

All these emotions
are filling my
body and I
don't know what
to do.

I've been broken
for so long.

Is this what
feels like
to be whole
again?

To feel every
emotion
possible?

The emptiness that
was there is filling
and I'm not sure
if I like it...
Mar 2016 · 306
Untitled
Alaska Mar 2016
Follow me...
Let's get
lost but,
find ourselves
at the
same time.
Let's discover
each other,
who we
really are.
I wanna
know who
you really
are, not
who you
pretend to
be.
Mar 2016 · 689
One Day...
Alaska Mar 2016
I will find the
one.
I will live the
life I want to
lead.
I won't be scared
to love and be
loved.
I will say, "I love you",
and have it said
back to me in
the same way.
I won't be scared
to feel.
I will know what
it's like to hold
hands with the one
I love.
I will know what
it's like to not
be alone when I
fall asleep at night
and wake up in the
morning.
God, has a plan
for me, for all
of us.
These are the two words that I say to myself over and over again to remind me that my day will come...Constantly, I whisper to myself "one day, Alyssia! One day you will be ******* loved back by the person you love and you're gonna be okay, and you won't be scared", and so on. This is also for you guys who are maybe struggling with the same thing, constantly being patient letting yourself get hurt over and over again and you just want it to get to "the one" already and stop having to go through these people who don't deserve you. You may feel alone, but never forget that you are surrounded with people who love and care about you, and if you think you don't, well i'm here for any of you guys,seriously I am, and I love YOU!So guess what? Your day will come, don't you worry, but don't doubt it either because that never helps anything.
Mar 2016 · 350
Alone
Alaska Mar 2016
Lately, all I want to do is...
talk.
To someone.
Anyone.
Just to have conversation....
about anything
and everything.
To feel a connection...
between another soul.
I've never craved this as much
as I do now
and I think
that's what
is freaking me
out the most...
I'm realizing how
lonely I'm
becoming..
Not really sure what I've been feeling lately.
Mar 2016 · 517
Untitled
Alaska Mar 2016
"What do you wanna do?"*
I just want to sit with
you
in bath robes,
as we drink wine,
talk about life
and draw ugly
portraits of
each other.
Mar 2016 · 239
Untitled
Alaska Mar 2016
You were the only one I wanted to call
The only one I wanted to talk to
But I couldn't.
I had to distance myself from you.
I can't always go to you.
I have to let you go,
So you can be happy.
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