You place your chin
    in the crook of my neck,
      sending shivers down my spine
                and I know it's time to unwind
The weekend floats in softly,
            mesmerized by time fading away
    beautifully
                    Stops me in my tracks
The week seems to drag on
          But you got my back
                 at the end of it all
             Racing through
the endless weekly marathon
     Our eyes and thoughts align
                    to this lovely phenomenon
        Cause it's not love
              without you and me
       This isn't just history
                                    in the making
        It's cartoons,
                   kush and coffee
    You're my Saturday morning, baby
             I'll love you through
                 all the days and weeks to come
     But lucky for us
        This weekends only just begun

Intellectual stimulation* from a twisted mind
Bringing life to the *insanity I tried to hide
Cracking whips to break the chains, feeling death drip from my veins
Pouring poison down the drain from infections inside
Chasing rumors through the sewers, lost in tunnels of depravity; God's the only viewer but this show's not quite reality
Gravity scraped knuckles with me all the way down
A brute stuck in a boot loop asking me to drown
These restarts after crashes turned my synapses to ashes
Now I can't feel the rats in my cyber cerebral casket
Dead in the head and strapped into my bed
I dug at my wrists until I saw red
The doctors applauded at everything the gauze did
It still couldnt stop it *so on it bled

This life has become more than I ever wanted it to be and the future looks even more hopeful as far as I can see.

Inspiration strikes a sadness in my mind
Lightening fires of truth so bright I go blind
Wide awake yet dreaming of another time
Another place where things used to be fine
But in the back of my mind, where that inspiration strikes, I feel alive and alone in the sadness that overwhelms me at times, surrounded by the dream floating behind my eyes uncontrollably, bouncing off my mind getting ideas of time and space and distances between two places, satisfaction and depression, a thin line rests between my eyes, like a target, the bullseye is my soul and it's slowly disintegrating with every shot, look and insult fired my direction.
I'm losing control.
And my dreams are gaining ground, taking over and my reality is lost in the background.
My soul can no longer hear a sound.
I think I've died.
I've tried to come back around, telling myself it'll be alright.
But I lied.

I am the poetry that breathes words into your mind.
I fill up blank spaces with encouraging lines.
I possess no magic powers to turn back time.

I am the poetry that brings back childhood fears.
I speak the truths you're not sure you wanna hear.
I clarify emotions that were previously unclear.

I am the poetry that digs deep to tear at the soul.
Once I enter you, you can never be whole.
Without the words inside you, you feel so cold.

I am the poetry that tries to hold back time.
Keep the body frozen but activate the mind.
Using line after line to make you all mine.

I am the poetry that flows through your veins.
That proves how much I love you, day after day.
I help keep your sanity, when you think you're going insane.

I am the poetry that floats in front of your eyes.
Always surrounding you, seeing through your every disguise.
I know everything you think, I know all your lies.

I am the poetry until the day you die.

There's an aching in my bones for where that feeling they call home used to be but now it's only in my dreams.
My emotions keeps grinding away at my soul, telling me where to go and who to be.
But that's not me and this dream isn't my reality.
As far fetched as my hopes may seem to be, to me they are the reality supressing these nightmares that everyone else calls dreams.

Keep hoping for a new tomorrow to change my ways, but the days drag on, always the same.
Not knowing where the truth lies, disguised as a ride that takes you high enough to never feel it when the lie dies.
Staring pain in the face, wasting days swept under a carpet of disgrace, eyes staring back screaming with disdain.
Forgetting myself more with every breath, failing every test and silently waiting for death.

It's like shooting stars in your eyes,
I could make a wish on you all day.
Your pupils have a comfort only found in my dreams
and the space behind is a galaxy of time
           I'd gladly get lost in.
In essence, your eyes are my infinity.
An endless pool of peace and love that I was so graciously born into,
     have happily lived through
          and will peacefully die in.

Your eyes smoulder with an imagination that is even bolder than I could have dreamed and colder than this toxic air we've been forced to breathe.

You write poetry across your face to form a Gas mask of rythym, blocking out the hate yet sealing in ideas that might frustrate you.

You hear the birds in the trees and you read the articles in every magazine, you take in information like the bees to the Queen.

Your thoughts radiate an aura surrounding your entire body, you bleed history and pop culture facts, you need the written word like an addict needs their cigarette packs.

You're empathetic to your core, you feel what everyone else does so you hide yourself in your mind until you can categorize the emotions from the lies.

I know you can feel the love in your heart even through all the cracks, like a weathered and torn apart roadmap but you're taped together perfectly and even with a few wrong turns you always find your way back to me.

It's a heart on world with my sleeve steadily exposed
A life line on a call line, dial 888 to be controlled
Puppets on a string to compose this household
The happier we'll be the more we're enclosed

       Smaller spaces to lengthen the gap
       Encircling our inner self control
       Consuming what's left of the demons
       Trying to get a refund on our soul
      
Love changes colors like a rhyme
Smooth and easy
Eyes like the darkness of time
Slow and steady

Yet we're still not ready for the fight
Insanity walks through the door
And just when the time is right
Our beliefs slowly melt into the floor

I see you from across the room
I've known you for years
But I get this feeling inside
Like I just met you
And as I watch you
You slowly walk towards me
And my insides start to melt
As you get closer, our eyes lock
And I feel things I've never felt
You move me, make me wobble
Once your close enough to touch
I can't help but giggle
You put a finger to my lip
And I secretly smile to myself
Your fingertips move down my arm
Softly landing on my hip
You caress my face with a gentle touch
Then get closer until there's barely a breath between us
My knees go weak
This is all just too much
I sigh and lean in to your mouth
Your lips surround mine
Removing all my doubts
I can feel it in your kiss
And a sudden bliss overwhelms me
This electricity is too hot to miss
I go in hard, I can't help myself
My arms around your neck,
I feel you losing control of yourself
No holding back
I can't help but want for more
And in a flash
We're lying naked on the floor
Fingers, legs, hands and arms
We're completely intertwined
From our souls to our hearts
I feel love to depths divine
And there's no greater sensation
Than when your body finally enters mine
It's an overpowering friction
I'm surprised we're not engulfed in flames yet
These sparks are flying
I've never been hotter
The sweat starts dripping
We've never been wetter
The passions an electric surge
And my body's on fire
I fight the urge
Taking myself higher and higher
I'm lost in you
In your touch, in your eyes
And I'm surprised how unafraid I am
A guilty pleasure with no shame
We climb together as one
A game that we'll both win
Reaching peaks we never knew existed
Crying out in ecstasy
Again and again

I sigh...
And sleep
Cuddled in your arms
Heart and body
Safe from harm

Tap,
       tap,
             tap
Tapping on the wall around your heart
          Trying to find a way in
You've built it tall and strong
And plastered
       it with
          your suffering
     To remember why it's there

Yet here I am,
        not knowing where to start
So I tap,
          tap,
             tap
Hoping one day you'll hear me
Praying one day you'll open your heart
                     I want in
         I want to take your hurt
                 and make it mine
To share your pain
And find a way to make you see
This life your living
The infliction
         you've put
              upon yourself
You need not bare it alone

           Tell me your stories,
       Let me feel
              what you feel
You think you need to be a stone
But I want to know you to your core

So I'll tap,
              tap,
                  tap
Until I can see that diamond underneath
Not to break you
            or damage you
       Just to release you
               So you can finally
                    

                          breathe

Like a spotlight on my soul
You enhance me, make me feel whole
Brightening my world
My happiness your only goal

Because of you I'm finally seen, heard and recognized for the beauty that I didn't know was inside of me
Emotions I didn't even know I could feel have been blossoming throughout my body

This spotlight may have finally made everyone see, but it's what it's done to me
It's shown me you and that is a blessing

My soul is a song that sings a raspy tune,
About love, life and the heartache I've been through.
My heart is a book with pages and chapters written out of order about me and you.
I can't seem to remember the beginning of either and the end seems like a distant future.
But I want you to take your time listening, reading and trying to understand,
Because my life is in these words
And even if we're from different worlds
Love, pain, joy and heartache are things we've all come to know.
And by simply listening and reading each other, we can begin to grow.

Put your arms around me
Pull me in close
Surround my soul with your love
Drive me into an overdose
Your skin is my drug
And I can't get enough
Your lips, your tongue
The epitome of my dreams
Your mouth, your hands
Simply touching me
Is all that need
To feel the depths of ecstasy

I'm lost in your world
In your eyes
You've taken control of me
A destiny I cannot deny
I'm yours
Your dreams
Your future
Your happy place
And in your heart
I've found my home
A resting zone for my soul
More exciting than anything I've known
Yet, my most peaceful place to go

Your touch, your eyes,
Your soul and your heart
All of yours entangled with mine
And we shall never part

I laugh at the sound
    of the wind
As it echoes through my mind
Telling me stories of memories
     I had previously left behind
  with caricatures of faces
I can no longer remember in reality
      And songs from past places
That bring me down
         with the emotional gravity
And I was my thoughts spin around
                 and around
    I get dizzy from the intensity
                and my sanity
        Can no longer be found
                 Yet
I can still hear the wind
      And I laugh at the sound

He worked vigorously
Tired himself out
He began to forget
What true loyalty was about

He played even harder
Exhausted to the bone
He wandered aimlessly
With no where left to call home

He touched the sky
On more than one occasion
No matter how many people cared
He kept himself out of the equation

He reached rock bottom
A few too many times
Got himself stuck in a hole
That was too far down to climb

He laid on the ground and prayed
For his one true saving grace
She reached her hands down
And pulled him up, with a smile on her face

When I call and you're too busy at work too answer

I just write a few lines and a couple rhymes
Just to pass the time
Cause you're always in my heart
And no matter how far apart
I know you'll forever be mine

That makes everything worthwhile

Hey babe
I promise you can sleep easy
Now that you're laying beside me
And even though this life can be hard
Please dream peacefully
Knowing that you'll forever be in my heart

I can barely remember a time before you
As soon as you waltzed in, my life became new
You changed me, I'm so much better
It ain't no life if we ain't together
All the laughs, smiles and deep conversations
Bring out the depth of all my inspirations
You inspire me, you put the breath in me
You by my side takes away the insanity

It seems that when you start at my fingertips
You can satisfy me with a gentle little kiss
And all those whispers of sweet nothings
Making me feel all sorts of somethings
I can feel the love just in your presence
Surrounded by happiness and acceptance

I just hope you can feel mine too
Cause this love I have for you?
It's more than words, more than poetry
More than an eternity, it's everything

On the collection of all of my life's work
Your face will be on the cover
Cause when I write? It's for you
And how you've changed me for the better

So sleep easy my prince,
And dream of my love
Cause having you by my side
Will always be enough

I don't usually do this (status updates instead of poetry) but I'm really in the mood to flex my creative muscles and share ideas and concepts with my fellow poets here on HP. I love collaborating. I would like to use kik or fb messenger since it an easier means of  communication for me. My kik is hottymelly25 and my facebook is Melanie Wilson (TGWLY).

Also, we have a thriving group of poets chatting together on kik. We're just a small group of poets who have met on here or on Poets Corner (another poetry app we like to use a lot) and we talk about life, poetry, what we made for breakfast, the importance of the decoy vaginas that ducks have to prevent **** and everything in between. It's quite entertaining and we're kinda like a family. If you're interested in joining us, just message me. :) 16+ only please.

Thank you for reading. ❤

Some words are life changing,
And once you say them
You can never take them back
So think before you say something hurtful
Or something that will not only change your life
But the lives of people you love
Sometimes
You're decisions don't only effect you
But all those around you
So think

Tis but a dream I scream I scream
My body weak and weary

I lay in bed with throbbing head
And thoughts dark and dreary

I sing the song, What's wrong? What's wrong?
Am I left forgotten?

This be said, face turn red
Stomach spoiled and rotten

Demons spawn, be gone, be gone
As they take my breath

Be pearly gate or hell as fate
I've come to my death

I'm so far inside myself
Starting to feel like someone else
Getting lost in the dreams
Of the girl in mirror
That I can no longer see
She's beginning to scare me
And it seems like my mind
Is her favorite flavor of coffee
She drinks up my thoughts
And gets a rush of energy
All I can feel for her is envy
Yet, she's supposed to be inspiring
And me? I'm practically dying
Just waiting for the mood to strike
Finding the right music to surround me
It's tiring and
I've been living life so patiently
Feeling like
It's starting to get to me
Breaking the mirror inside my eyes
Does nothing
Neither does smoking out my mind
She just seems to soak it all in
Breathing in the fumes of my coffee
Giving me nothing but an empty space
And my face
Is just her face, minus the evil grin
I can't even begin
My muse is addicted
Trying to get her on the mend
Find the fix she needs
So this beginning
Doesn't start with the end

As he watched the skin slowly peel from the bones,
         he remembered his childhood.
   Memories of scraping his knees
         and being fascinated with the blood
      dripping down his leg.
All the times he carefully burned
         each leg off a spider
     and studied it closely
            as it died painfully.
The first birds squawks
        as he plucked out each feather individually
               then cut it open to see it's lungs
  slowly stop taking breaths.
           Practically in awe.
    But it wasn't enough.
    
Now
     As the man lays,
         barely alive and severely broken,
   on his basement floor,  
      he feels some extreme level of pride
that he's never felt before.

    It's like...
         The more death he can create in the world
    The more alive he can make himself feel.

I stare out into a Bob Ross painted sky, drifting in and out of a black and white dream
Watching colors fade away and appear as I open my eyes, the scenes played out in front of me challenge my beliefs
I get lost in the shadows of an evil that seems to dwell, it's trapped too deep inside me to hope for anything
Like a movie playing, I can't seem to tell, which character is the most related to me
I'm an on and off switch trapped in a tornado warning of emotions I can't begin to understand
Stuck between two paralleling lines I can no longer command
I couldn't tell you how fast I'm going or if I'm even really here
And as the paint drys on my life, an unfinished product is my only fear

Don't categorize yourself with someone else, don't lump yourself into a specific type. One similarity does not a commonality make. A million and one people may all have done what you've done or felt what you've felt but that does not breed you together into one common group or make their goals yours or your goals something they have any possibility of reaching. It may sound cliche but you are the only you, no one else could be you or truly understand everything you've ever felt to the core of your being since you've become you. And this you, the one you stare at every day in the mirror, is not the you you've always been and is certainly not the you you'll always be. You are continually changing and becoming more than you've ever been before. If you keep trying and doing and working towards something, anything that's better than what you are right now then you've already surpassed every category, type or group that you lumped yourself into. You are not a category. You are not what anyone else thinks you are. You are what you try to become, what you hope to become, what you've always dreamed you'd become.

Sometimes
Life keeps moving when you're trying so hard to hold still.
Roll with the punches, make changes, do something to better yourself
Or *simply fade away.
There's more out there,
There's undiscovered emotions and ideas that could broaden your horizons wider than the most beautiful sunset that you may never even see because you were too set in your ways to go outside your comfortable little box and really SEE the world.

*The choice is yours.

You never really know how strong you are until you're alone,
crying and forced to pick yourself up off the floor.
That is when you can truly see how big your emotional muscles are
and I promise
they are bigger than you ever thought possible.

Smoking through the lightning storm
Fading slowly, safe and warm
Steady getting higher than the clouds
Reaching peaks my dreams never allowed
Unaware of the demons trying to force me underground
Angels lift me, fighting the rocks trying to pull me down
Settling within my own mind, attempting to discover my own truth
Lying to myself, unaware that my nightmares contain the proof
Suddenly falling through an unmistakable mist
Feeling lower than the ground I finally kissed

I woke up a villian from my worst nightmare
Too scared to defend those that really matter
Seeing the heroes of the story
And watching all their dreams shatter
Weaponless against the clock
That just keeps ticking
If time is all that really matters
Then why am I still breathing?
I can't control the emotionless toll it takes on my mind
I'll never be brave enough to try and turn back time
It ticks a little faster whenever I'm running late
And slows down completely when I try to test fate
On a date with the mastermind behind all my evil plans
He's death incarnate but still proud of my artistic scams
And yet I find myself feeling ashamed of who I am

An emotionless pit of skin and bones
   Sunken eyes and pupils made of stones
She can't hear the judgement or grief
       Silently she sits with stares of disbelief
    She can't understand what she feels
         or say what she thinks
    Illiterate emotionally, unstable and drained of dignity
       Sleeps so sound she can't even hear her dreams
             Life continuously surrounds her yet can't seem to slow down
       She can't remember where the last place her sanity was found
           Dug herself into the ground just struggling to breathe
        Too lost in her mind to find the time to grieve
           An empty shell of the soul that she used to be
       And no one will be on the other side
                     *waiting...

I can sense your whispers through my dreams before I've even fallen asleep
Even though you're not there, I'll make myself believe you're next to me
Your voice echoes through my mind, saying the words 'I love you' on repeat
When I wake up, I'll imagine you're where you are supposed to be
I'll feel the space around me
When I feel nothing
The tears will fall so suddenly
And I won't be able to stop myself from crying
But I'll just remember your face and the plans we've made
And slowly those tears will start to fade
Then a smile will form upon my face
Where there's a will, there's a way
And I know we'll have our say
Together forever and 5 more days
I've loved you every moment from the start
And no amount of time together or apart
Will lessen the love that grows every day deep within my heart

I can see your heart
Beating in my dream
Pumping harder and faster
About to burst at the seam
Eyes practically made of laughter
And your psychotic smile
With a voice I can feel,
Deep in my soul
Carrying for miles and miles
You made everything real,
Become nothing I've known
You're a ghost of a previous life
Slicing into my sleep
With a double edged knife
Silently waiting to strike
Yet, you always seem to disappear
Just before the final blow
With nothing to see or hear
And no where left to go
I drift off into my mind
A mass of blank space
With no way to rewind
Travel to another place
Or any other time
The distance between falling
and finally waking
Is immeasurably long
Because
This dream has become a nightmare
And not only are you gone
But you were never really there

I never thought I'd believe in fate
     until I met you
I never thought I'd believe in 'happily everafter'
     until I held you
I never thought I'd believe in true love
     until I kissed you
I never thought I'd believe in 'the one'
     until the day you asked me to marry you
I never really thought I'd believe in anything
     **until you

There's more to you than meets the eye
Like the chapters
                    of my life
   I can't stop reading you
          And I can't wait to see
                   what happens next
The future always at the front of my mind
        But as I look behind me
With the past steadily
           trying to catch me
I realize I'll never escape the memories
           Like the first part to a trilogy
   All that matters is the ending
         And my book ends with
               you
                 and
                    *me

~    
        All the poems I write
     are just the beginning
                              and end
               of every thought
   I've ever had about you.

Nightfall slowly fades away
    The sun rise takes its place
Clouds of smoke float
             through the air
And the glare from the tv reflects it
      in perfect patterns of white and gray
The sight of the light sends shocks
            through the unrested body
The mind slowly escapes through a dream
         of the sun
written with poetry

She faded into the shadows
        of the love
             she wished she could forget
She solemnly swore
        to drown herself
               in the memory of her regret
Her eyes burned at the sight
         of the lost love
             she'd erased years ago
Her thoughts wondered
         and traveled to places
               she never meant to go
Life attacked her before
         she was even ready
                to feel the pain
Love forced her into the storm
         before she'd even
                 experienced **the rain

The first time your name kissed my lips
I knew this was it
I didn't know if you were just charming
Or if something about you was magic
But you stole my heart from the beginning
And I don't think I'll ever need it back
I have faith that you'll keep it safe
Constantly keeping me on track

Sometimes I wonder if you realize who you are
I've watched you grow, up close and from afar
Seen the subtle changes and what you've gone through
I can't take the pain away but I'm always here for you
That may sound a little cliche
But I don't care
A love like ours can't be faked

The first time I heard my name on your tongue
I knew the beginning of my life had just begun
I'm not sure if you knew it then
But you were my world, always have been
From the first moment your poetry spoke to my soul
I knew that without you I could never be whole

Sometimes I truly wonder if you realize who you are
To me? You're my best friend, my lover and my shining star
I would never change that for the world
And I hope I can forever be your baby girl

I used a black sharpie to write a love poem on your arm
Hoping the ink would sink into depths causing little to no harm
That the rough words may permeate through your tough skin
And the permanence may prove that forever starts from within
That the black is dark enough to hide all your scars from being used
And that my words are evidence and proof of my love for you

So let that ink sink as deep as it might
My words peirce your soul without a fight
My sharpie art fill you with awe and an imaginative spark
Be inspired by my loving words and the permanent scar they leave on your heart
You may forget my face, you may forget my name but **never forget where my love made its mark

I cultivated something under the snow
Sewed it deep to watch it grow
I felt the roots take and the warmth on my face
Resonating from the hearts I had froze

I shuddered against the intense heat
Battling my soul within a heartbeat
The seconds pass but the moments last
As the past slowly puts me to sleep

And of what should I dream but the bloodless seeds
And their chilled heartbeat from underneath
The silence sweeps as I wake and weep
And reflect, I respect that I cut too deep
And your demons escaped
But in my defense, recompense was achieved,
You did bleed, but never believed in Band-Aid
And every hand laid against you was desired
You're hardwired for self-defeat

I crush myself amidst my own callous hate
Bringing to light a dreadful new fate
With scars that burn and the images they create
Collapsing, falling under the massive weight
And suddenly you surround me
Making it difficult to breathe
But all the lies you never did believe
A layer of doubt hidden beneath
Typically speaking, you never say what you mean

And then
In a single moment
You were the oxygen I breathe
I found it hard to believe
That I might die without your touch
Just your presence and your scent
Was more than enough
But a tiny drop of your love
Could never be too much

Flying above the plain of my existence
Floating not falling
Searching for a new kind of substance
Or just another calling
Something to take me higher
Above this place you call reality
This angel in my ear is a liar
But this cloud of smoke is heavenly
Surrounding me
Taking me in under it's wing
A light dusting of white
To calm the insanity
And that's just the beginning

Inside there's a growing need
Branching out through my limbs
Starting with some stems and a seed
There's no lack of pseudonyms
Call it whatever you can think of
It takes me to that place I need to be
Maybe it's a new kind of love
Reaching unknown depths inside of me
Cascading with dreams of sanity
Planting roots in my core
It's almost calming
Knowing when I can't handle anymore
And when I wanna keep flying

It's costing me all I got to give
Just to dig myself out of this hole
I can't figure out why I was meant to live
Or how I can make myself feel whole

I can't afford to deal with this pain
That's been going on for so long
Even sheltered from the rain
I find a way to do something wrong

It's a struggle just to get out of bed
And go on living a life so empty
I can't erase these thoughts from my head
You can't understand what they do to me

Phone ringing with the cord cut
     That's the way we like to f*ck
  When we know they know
                    And the walls are just play dough
               And the heat we make turns this shelter to clay
            It makes it so intense we forget what to say
     But it's okay they'd listen anyway
         I'm trying to take the time to see just what makes you tick
         And I was never looking for smoke and mirrors or obvious tricks
            Just your essence and your presence made me question what I know
     What they know
     Walls made of playdough

Dusk turns to night with the lights off
        So silent
    You could hear a pin drop
        Deep breaths slowly fill the air
Rattling these walls made of playdough
            So in sync we don't even care
    That they know we know
Taking the time to take it slow
        In your eyes I see that raging fire
    Of these feelings I will never tire
And your skin embedded in my memories
         Makes me realize what I've always known
    Just your touch and your existence erase the tragedies
          What do they know
  Through these walls made of playdough