Bouncing
An orange ball
Repeatedly against the floor.

Fake left.
Run right.
Pass.
Reverse.
Shoot.
Miss.
Rebound.
Repeat.

We must all be mad,
For we are doing
The same thing,
Over and over again,
And expecting a different result.

Lose the ball.
Run down the court.
Fast break.
Sprint.
Shot blocked.
Run back.

We run ourselves
Out.
To put a
Big orange ball
In a small white net.
And love every minute of it.

Back on offense.
Call the play.
Set a pick.
Roll to the basket.
Get the ball.
Shoot.
Get a point.

I don't know
What I would do
Without this madness
This again and again
This over and over

It may be mad,
But it makes me happy.

Blue can be happy,
Like blue party balloons

Blue can be sad,
Like a tear down your cheek

Blue can be angry,
Like a stormy dark ocean

Blue can be frightening,
Like your piercing bright eyes

Blue can be hopeful,
Like a new day's blue sky

Blue can be timid,
Like baby blue walls

Blue can be mysterious,
Like the ocean's far depths

Blue is a bipolar color.

Are you anorexic?

No,
I'm not anorexic
I've just got a
Stomach bug

I've never heard of
A stomach bug like that...

Yeah,
It's really weird
They just discovered it
See,
It actually spreads
Through your mind

Well, what are the symptoms?

It's simple,
You feel fat
And lazy
And stupid
All the time

And it makes you sick,
And then you don't eat

Sounds anorexic to me...

*I'm not anorexic!

I used to want
To be a mermaid
To live underwater
Away from the noise
From the pain
From the sorrow
The guilt
The darkness

And now that I am drowning
In all of these things
I am once again
Dreaming of being
*A mermaid

"You are pretty"
Don't lie
"Thanks"

"You are smart"
Yeah right liar
"Thanks"

"You are nice"
More lies?
"Thanks"

"You're fun to talk with"
Liar liar pants on fire
"Thanks"

"You're amazing"
Goodbye
"..."

Before I met you,
My world was black and white.

When we met,
You showed me the in between,
The gray of life.

When we became friends,
You showed me that there is even more.
There are oranges, red, and greens.

Peace, happiness, and life

When I left,
You taught me more,
Although you were gone.

You taught me of
Blues, yellows, and purples.
Darker, colder colors

Sadness, bitterness, and anxiety

You taught me so much
About the colors of this world

Mirror mirror
On the wall
Who's the fairest
Of them all?

Not you

Mirror mirror
On the wall
Who's the one
About to fall?

You are

I shatter the mirror
And use the shards
To bleed the memories
From my skin

Mirror mirror
On the wall
You pushed me
Off the cliff so tall

*You deserved it

Can you hear that?
Time passing
Without a care?

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock

Can you feel that?
Your time,
That's slowly running out?

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock

Can you see that?
How long it's been
Since they texted back?

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock

Have you felt this?
Clocks slowly
Counting your days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

Till you're gone
Listen to them

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock

Time is short
Make the most of it

If life were a video game,
Then I would totally buy the
'Skip this level'
Option
Because let me tell you,
This level *****

You ask me
If I've considered suicide
Like I'm actually going to answer
Honestly

I mean,
What would I say?

Yeah that's all I think about
Please,
Put me on piles of medicine
So I can be crazy
As well as sad

But let me tell you
I most definitely
Have considered it

I've got the perfect tree picked out

It's got the perfect branch
For hanging yourself
There's a rope already attached

Or if you prefer,
It's easy to climb
You could always just jump

These are two options
But wait,
I've got more

There's a lake out back
It smells bad
But you could definitely still drown

Or better still,
There's a great knife in the kitchen
Really thin blade
But it's super sharp
For minimum pain
And maximum blood

Yet still,
There's more

I've got duct tape in the basement
You could make yourself suffocate

Of course,
You could use your pillow for that

There are the long ways

You could starve yourself
Sleep deprivation
Dehydration
Etcetera

So Mr.
"Psychological Doctor,"
I don't know...

Would you say I've thought about suicide?

Why is it
That the biggest hearts
Are emptied the fastest?

And the brightest souls
Are blackened
The quickest?

I don't want
A knight in shining armor
I don't need to be saved

I just want
Someone to talk to,
So I won't be so lonely

I just want
Someone to like me,
For me

I just want
Someone who is kind,
And will not hurt me

I just want
Someone who is funny
And makes me laugh

I just want
Someone who makes me happy
For a change

So maybe I do want to be saved,
Maybe I need a knight in shining armor

You say you are numb.
That is not numb.
I have felt numb.

That is pain
Behind a mask of
Numbness.

Life is like a math problem--

Some people are cancelled out
So that you can find the answer

Some people are like asymptotes
It seems like they should be there
But they're just a hole in your graph

Some people are like parallel lines
Always in sight
Never in reach

Life is like a math problem
And sometimes
*There's no solution

Don't tell me
To look to the future
Cuz I can look all I want
But I'll never reach it

I'm stuck in the present
It's always the present
So don't tell me to look to the future
When you know I'll never reach it

I am worthless
I'm about to fall
But that's okay
No one else cares
So why should you?

I am worthless
I can't contribute
All I do is waste
Waste anything and everthing
Food
Water
Shelter
Words
Light
Time
Space
Everthing I touch is wasted

I am worthless
Don't bother trying to save me
If I leave
If I die
It will be better for everyone

I am worthless
Just let me die

Fall little snowflakes, fall
Drift gentle toward the earth
Melt on small noses
Be the cause of big smiles

Fall little snowflakes, fall
Plummet cold and fragile
Turn those noses red
Be the cause of cold arms

Fall little snowflakes, fall
Crash into the cold hard ground
The people will hate you
Be crushed by heavy boots

Fall little snowflakes, fall
You think you're beautiful now
But people will hurt you
Be killed by their words

Fall little snowflakes, fall
You'll soon be killed by this terrible world

If I wanted to describe you,
I would need to learn
To write in numbers

For there are only
Twenty-six
Letters in the alphabet
But an
Infinity
Of numbers

And I would need every one of them,
Just to describe you

The world is filled with liars

There are innocent liars
Like bagworms
Which look like caterpillars
But really **** your plants

Then there are kind liars,
Who lie
To keep you safe

There are guilty liars
Who lie
Because they can't bear
The truth

Finally,
There are real liars
Who lie
To see you writhe in pain
To feel the power
Of killing someone
With just words

These are usually the only ones
Considered liars,
But remember
*The world is filled with liars

If you wander off
The beaten path
Alone
Then you are
A lost hiker

If you wander off
The beaten path
With friends
Then you are
Adventurers

*It's too bad I'm always alone

When a diet
Became a way to lose weight

When calories
Became a negative word

When 130 pounds
Became overweight

When skinny
Became positive

That was when
All the little girls started *dying

My soul is a flame.
Right now it's a spark,
Sputtering and flickering,
Trying to stay alive.

But I swear,
It was once
A bonfire

You are only happy
When the door of opportunity
Sits wide open,
With signs telling you
How to pass through

You are hopeless,
When the door is open,
But you can't find it

You are angry
When you can find the door
But it is locked

You are sad
When someone shuts the door
Right in your face

You are anxious
When you see the door
But are too scared to go through

You are depressed
When you lie by the door
But lack the energy to get up
And go through

This is why
Happiness
Is so hard to achieve

A worry stone
Is what you rub
When you are stressed
Or worried

I use mine
Quite a lot

Do I look okay?
Did she notice?
Do I talk funny?

Rub rub rub

Why did you ask?
Did you mean it?
Why is this happening?

Rub rub rub

I don't understand
I can't do this
I am so dumb

Rub rub rub

I won't make it
This will never work
I am so ugly

Rub rub rub

Now my stone is gone
I rubbed it all away
Now I have nothing
To make the worry go away

Pain is okay
Pain I can handle
Pain is quite simple

If you can't take it
Just go **** yourself

Hope is what hurts
Hope is what's hard
Hope is quite complicated

You see,
Hope is what keeps you alive
Beyond where you can't take it anymore

**Hope is not as hopeful as it seems

Ten
Tears that fell

Nine
Half hearted oh wells

Eight
Sleepless nights

Seven
Silent screams

Six
Simple scratches

Five
Days left

Four
Depressive thoughts

Three
Anxious ones

Two
Ugly options

One
Last chance

Zero*
No more, she's gone

We*
                                                            ­                                                          once
  ­                                                                 ­                                                 walked
         ­                                                                 ­                                             the
                                                                                                                     same
                                                            ­                                                          path;
 ­                                                                 ­                                                   *then
                                                          ­                                                          while­   I
                                                             ­                                                        you         began      
                                                                ­                                                     kept              to
                                        ­                                                                 ­           going                 turn
                                                          ­                                                         straight                    and
                             ­                                                                 ­                    you                                 left
                                                          ­                                                   were                                 but
                                                           ­                                         already               ­                 when
                                         ­                                                     long      ­                                 I tried
                                                          ­                              long                             ­            to come
                                                           ­                      gone                                         back

                                                       **And I'm afraid that we will never walk the same path again

When I was younger,
I loved the clouds

I made pictures in them
And sometimes stories

I would sit and watch them
For hours

My parents worried
That a 6 year old
Needed "alone time"
But I wasn't alone
I was with the clouds

To me,
They were happy
And hopeful.

Now all I see in the clouds are
Darker days and rain storms
What happened,
To the little girl
Who loved the clouds?

I miss her

Humans*

We cry when we are happy
As well as when we're sad.

We laugh through our pain
And say it is joy

We lose our way
To find ourselves

We hurt others
When we are hurt

We are mixed up
We are humans

There are some
Who are fireworks
They light up the sky
Earn lots of "ooh"s and "ah"s

Then there are the flames
The ones who light the fireworks
Their job is important
They allow the fireworks to shine
Some notice them
But not many

And finally there are people like me
The matchsticks
Yes,
Just the wooden bit
We don't get noticed
We don't shine like the others
All we do
Is burn away
So others aren't burnt

We are useful
But not necessary
We don't dazzle
And we are easy to come by

In this world
Of fireworks

I just want to cry
I just to scream
I just want to let it out

Yet I am denied
This simple request
By none other
Than myself

I must be strong
I must hide my pain
I must never let my feelings show

This is a hard world
We live in
You show them pain
And they'll stab you where it hurts

I want to cry

But I can't
I won't
I am

*Now the tears are falling

Talking to you
Is the best part of my day

I've only known you
A little while
But that was all it took

You are my best friend

We've never even
Truly met
But still,

You are my best friend

You are great
You are amazing
You are wonderful

I don't know
What I would do
Without you

You are my best friend

So this will be
The last,
'To my new friend' poem

Because next time,
It will be called,
'To my best friend'

The tears run down my face
The thoughts run through my head
The fear runs through my veins

My heart races
My feet run
My soul runs out

Running
I'm running

When will it end?
When will I stop running?

I believe that,
Human wisdom
Can be summed up in one phrase:
"Full moon"
You can never see the moon "in full,"
Only half of it.
It's like,
When someone says,
"You have my full trust and devotion."
But that's only true,
Until someone better than you
Comes along to,
Give their "full" trust and devotion to.
And anyway,
The moon is never "full"
Very long either.

The water cycle
Of my soul
Goes something like this

Pain collects,

Joy evaporates

Hopelessness condensates

And sadness preciptitates

On and on and on
This is the water cycle
Of my soul

I am a failure.
Yes, I understand this.
Thank you
For reminding me though
I really needed that.

I know I am clumsy,
I know I talk funny,
I know all this.
No need to remind me.

I know I am worthless
I know I am hopeless
I already tell myself this
No need for you to also

Yes,
I know I am a failure.
I know this
I know this
I know this

Please though,
Do not remind me,
Let me talk to people,
And not feel guilty
Once in awhile

I know I am a failure,
Now do me a favor,
And quit reminding me

It scares me
To know I am a child
And still feel like this

I am frightened
Because it seems death
Is my only option

It makes me cry
To know what could have been
Yet still be here

It scares me
No--
*It terrifies me

Rapunzel is a lie
There was no witch
Rapunzel locked herself
In the tower

She was done with the world
But it's a fairytale
So she couldn't die

Rapunzel locked the tower herself
She got lonely, yes
But it was her own mistakes
Which held her captive
Not a witch

There may have been a prince
But he left lonely and sad
Rapunzel trusted no one
And refused to let her hair down

Rapunzel is a lie
It's not happy
And she was not innocent

I don't believe our lives are a puzzle
No--
I believe that life is a puzzle

The difference is
That you do not have the whole puzzle
Like some people think

You are one piece
In a larger puzzle
You fit next to some people
And not next to others

But it's not quite that simple
It's life we're talking about,
After all

You see,
Sometimes people change shape
So even if you used to fit next to them,
You may not be able to anymore

In fact,
Sometimes they have moved to the other side of the puzzle
And they are gone
They no longer complete
The picture you are creating

And sometimes,
You change so much
That you don't fit the puzzle anymore
That is how I feel

But don't jump to conclusions,
If you leave the puzzle too early,
The person you would have fit next to
No longer has anyone to complete their picture

So as you can see,
Your life is not a puzzle
You are a mere puzzle piece
Life itself is the puzzle

Push harder!
Do better!
Study more!
You're supposed to be smart!
I'm trying...

You're so dumb!
This is simple!
You'll never understand!
Why are you even here?
I don't know...

Work harder!
Put some effort forth!
Why can't you do this?
I thought you were trying!
I just can't anymore...

You're gonna fail!
You'll never make it!
Why don't you just leave?
You're too stupid for this!
I know...

No one likes you just leave!!!!
*Fine

I swear
This guilt
Will be
What kills me

Here I am
My life is good
I should be happy
Or at least not
Whatever this is

I should not be sad
I have such support

There are so many
Who have it worse
Who am I
To feel this way?

This guilt
Will be
What kills me

You'll see

I'd give you a three leaf clover
Yes, that's three not four
Each leaf has meaning
The first is faith
The second is hope
The third is love
And the fourth is luck

But if I have you
I don't need luck
I only need three
I only need love

I'd give you a three leaf clover
Yes that's three
Not four

I know that you are
Just teasing,
And I will smile
And laugh,
And pretend it doesn't hurt

But honestly,
It feels as though
You just stabbed my heart
With an ice cold
Dagger

So even though you are
Just teasing
And I will smile and laugh,
I want you to know that
Maintaining that smile
Gets harder each day.

So if you continue to tease,
I give you fair warning,
Soon there may be
Nobody to tease.

I see flowers blooming,
And bees buzzing,
And I think,
Innocence

I watch you run around
Barefoot,
Because you don't like socks,
And I think,
Innocence

I laugh as my dog,
Leaps in the lake,
Without a care in the world,
And I think,
Innocence

I smile at your excitement,
In the little things,
Because at your age,
Everything is exciting,
And I think,
Innocence

I sit and watch the world go by,
And I know
The world has lost it's innocence.
But as I see these little things,
I think,
Innocence

And I know,
Not all has been lost.

There once was a little thatch cottage,
With little happy children,
A little green garden,
And a perfect little family.

Then the little children's father
Got cancer and died.
And the perfect little family
In the little thatch cottage,
Was not so perfect anymore.

The little children grew up,
And soon moved away.
And the little children's mother,
Now a little old lady,
Was a little more lonely.

The little old lady
Then passed away,
In the little thatch cottage.
No one lived there again.

The little thatch cottage,
Got surrounded by the forest,
Then was struck by lightening,
And burned to the ground.

The little thatch cottage,
Is now no more.
Nature has taken it.
And it will never be returned.

Once you're past
The initial wall around my heart

You'll find that
The only defense I have
Is a rusty wire tomato cage

And all that does
Is keep me standing